Chapter 6
Ryan
“He looks so happy, it’s nauseating,” Jake complains looking at Aariv, who is whispering into his phone outside in the parking lot while Jake and I wait for our order to arrive.
We used to hang out at this same diner when we were high school kids. Later my friends traveled to go to popular graduate schools, while I went to the local community college. Although my family has gone through serious lows in the last few years, my friends never turned their backs on me.
“Who would have thought Aariv would be the first one to settle down and find his girl?” Jakes says.
“That’s on Zoe. She won’t let him forget who owns his ass.”
“Just look at the fool kissing his phone. Is he having phone sex?”
Our waitress arrives with our food and gives me a shy smile. She bends in front of me, giving me a good view of her DDs.
“Call me,” she mouths, bringing her hand to act like a phone.
What was her name again? Stella. Ariella, Arabella—something along those lines. A distraction might be exactly what I need.
Jake thumps his fist on the table impatiently while looking outside the window for Aariv to come and join us.
“Yo! Aariv, are you having phone sex? Jake wants to know,” I yell out, calling for Aariv.
“Yes, I wanna know. I came here for food and bromance. I didn’t pay to watch a grown man jump up and down in the parking lot clutching his wiener. My burger’s getting cold.” Jake jokes.
Aariv waves his middle finger at us and goes back to smooching his phone.
“Let the man live. He has been sexually frustrated for years. Remember, he was a virgin until a few months ago. You still got me, my man. How is the game design working out?” I say, taking a bite of my juicy steak burger.
I am hungry. I haven’t eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours.
All thanks to a rich brat who thinks of me as nothing more than a criminal.
But whatever, I don’t need her approval to live my life.
I have made a decision to not cross paths with that pain in the ass woman ever again.
That chapter is closed. That bridge is burned down. That ship has sailed.
“Design’s coming along, still got a few challenges but we’ll get there eventually,” Jake is a league level champion pro gamer.
He plays for a UK-based esports team and travels around the world for tournaments.
He mainly lives in London these days because that’s where his team’s head office is located.
Currently he is on a break between tournaments so he is home to be with his family.
My bro is multitalented and he is also working on his own game design.
“’Course you’ll. When’s your next game? When do you leave?”
“Got a month off before I head back.” He replies concentrating on the white paper before him.
Jake is drawing a character concept art for a mysterious female character on his sketch pad. The curvy girl in his drawing has shoulder-length hair. Her armor is metallic black with runes all over it, and the black scythe in her hand just makes her look bad ass.
“This looks sick, bro. Is she a character in the game you’re designing?” I ask looking closer.
“Yup.”
“What’s she called?”
“Mistress Of Chaos.” Jake says.
I note the name choice and frown. Jake’s gamer tag is Chaos. Then I observe the finer details of his sketch like the shape of the nose and thick librarian glasses perched on her nose.
Okay, I have seen this person in real life. I know who she is.
“Interesting. She looks a lot like Mia to me.” I lay it down casually with a shrug.
“What?” The easy stokes of his hand stops abruptly, making the graphite tip of the pencil break and speckles of gray dust smatter on the paper. “She does?” He looks down at his creation. “I-I wasn’t doing that deliberately.”
The drawing is beautiful and raw.
“She can be someone else if you want.” I try to reason.
“Nah. I won’t be using this anymore.” His jaw clenches as he puts away his pencils and the leather sketch book case to the side.
“Your artwork has really improved, bro. It’s next level. It looks even better than your biggest competitor’s…” Our eyes meet and we both nod in understanding as a sad smile spreads on our faces.
There was another friend of ours who was just as talented as Jake. Her name was Tia. But we don’t talk about her anymore. Especially after the way she left us all behind with so many unanswered questions. Mason was the one who was most affected by her disappearance.
“What did I miss?” Aariv sits down, stealing some fries from me.
“Jake, just an FYI, Zoe mentioned that Mia might be visiting, only for the weekend.”
Jake groans while Aariv and I exchange knowing glances. Jake is going to be miserable for the entire time Mia is here. This has happened once before and it was bad.
“I should have delivered the news with a trigger warning, I guess. Sorry J.” Aariv says.
“We should plan a trip and get out of here. Things have been crazy at work, but I should still be able to manage a couple of days,” I say.
“I can’t take a break. I’m meeting some investors over the next few weeks,” Aariv says. His tech start-up venture is finally gaining some traction.
“That’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Jake takes a deep breath and then another and another.
Jake used to have a huge crush on Mia. They were best friends and inseparable once. Then one day they had a huge fight that ended their friendship forever. They have been meticulously avoiding each other since. But Jake still have a soft spot for his best friend even after all these years.
“We are here to distract you if the going gets tough.” I slap his shoulder as a gesture of support.
“Ah! I’m going to have that nightmare again,” Jake states, sounding frustrated.
I have had a fair share of those in the past. “What nightmares?”
“It’s singular. It’s always one recurring dream that threatens to suck the soul out of my body.
In my dream, Mia is dancing with some asshole at her wedding.
She looks like an angel dressed in white.
Then her new husband says, ‘Lemme get you a drink, baby.’ They walk to the bar and he snaps his fingers at the bartender.
Guess what? I’m the bartender at her wedding.
It’s always the same fuckin’ dream, man.
I wake up soaked in sweat and wanting to punch someone hard. ”
Aariv and I chuckle together.
“Assholes,” Jake whines. “This is a serious problem.”
“Have you tried to change your dreams?” Aariv asks casually.
Jake and I both turn to him shocked.
“What the freak did you say? How do I do that?” Jake probes.
Aariv reads a lot of books about mind hacks, psychology, and cognitive behavior therapy to rewire the brain.
After my father’s untimely death, everything in my life took a downward spiral.
My best friends Jake, Mason, and Aariv, were the few people who stood by me when I was struggling.
I was in a dark place for a while, and Aariv had my back every time my mental health took a tumble.
He did push his self-help books at me asking me to read them and give them a try.
Those books absolutely helped me cope. They gave me hope.
“If your nightmares are affecting your quality of life, then you should see a therapist. But in the meantime, you could give this a try. I’ll send you some material to read about lucid dreaming,” Aariv continues.
“You’re telling me it’s that simple. That if I tell myself I don’t want to dream about Mia, my mind will listen?” Jake asks.
Aariv continues, “I think it’s worth a try.
There is a process to do it right. It takes multiple tries.
First thing is to acknowledge that these nightmares are not real.
Second is don’t fight it. Live the emotion.
Let it run its due course and see where it’s going.
Third is testing reality and challenging it.
There’ll come a point in your dream when you’ll know that it’s not real.
You’ll become aware that you’re dreaming.
It’s powerful when you learn to gain some sort of control over the narrative and environment.
You can change its course and break the cycle.
You’re reengineering your dreams and telling them you’re the boss. ”
“Did you ever try this?” I ask.
“When Zoe and I broke up, I had nightmares. I tried lucid dreaming then and had some success with it, but I was still miserable. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that Zoe hated me. My nightmares stopped the day Zoe agreed to be mine again.” Aariv grins.
“Well, that’s not gonna work for me. Too much work, my brain is already exhausted, bro. I need a different solution.” Jake drums the table impatiently.
“Jake, have you tried writing a book about your emotions?” I tease.
“Asshole, I can’t wait ‘til you fall in love,” Jake remarks. “I just want to see that insufferable look on your face when it happens.”
“That, my friend, is never ever gonna happen,” I reply confidently.
Sometime later we finish our dinner and head back to the parking lot.
“I got something for you, R,” Aariv says.
He pulls out a cardboard box from the trunk of his car and hands it over to me. I open the lid and my eyebrows shoot up. Then a laugh escapes my lips. Aariv has a gleam of pride in his eyes.
“Fucking. Genius,” Jake says, inching closer to the box. “It looks exactly like the original one.”
My fingers grip the box tight. “Aariv. Thanks, man. I…”
“Consider it your birthday present. Wait ‘til you see how it works. It’s got motion and noise detection sensors. The audio quality is second to none.” Aariv grins in excitement.
Sitting inside the brown box is a Drakkar Viking Ship in a handmade limited-edition glass bottle. The bottle itself must have cost him a fortune. The hours it would have taken Aariv to put together this masterpiece.
My birthday is six months away, but today I will celebrate. One more step, one more hunch, one more glimmer of hope to finding the truth.
We are both naked and she is on top of me. She kisses me wildly while her fingers run into my hair. My body temperature rises with the strokes of her tongue.
“Ryan, I’m so wet for you. Will you finger my hole, please?”
“Fuck, Ishika, what a dirty mouth you have.”
“All the better to blow you with, my dear.”
“Yes. Please blow me.”
She moves from my cock to crawl up my body, planting kisses on my face. My hand moves to my cock as I fist myself.
Usually she is very good at driving me crazy.
But today, her kisses are all over the place, wet and sloppy.
Her breath stinks like she chewed on a dead rat.
For an aspiring dentist, she could have used mouthwash.
Her licks on my face get faster with every thrust of my cock.
I can ignore bad breath when I am so close to my release.
But she starts to whine and pull on my blanket, I fight back, pulling on the sheet to keep us covered.
But the panting and growling follows with the bark.
Woof!
And…it’s fucking over.
This is my recurring wet dream. It’s one of the good ones. I didn’t wish to wake up from that dream, especially with a raging boner.
“Fuck!” I open my eyes, letting go of the blanket.
“Rufus. What the hell? What did we discuss about bro code and cockblockin’? I was getting to the juicy bits, man, and you couldn’t wait for five more minutes?”
My dog, Rufus, lowers his head and averts his eyes with his tail between his legs; he waits for my next move.
I get off the bed and open the windows to let fresh air in. I need to buy some probiotics for his bad breath.
My 6:00 a.m. alarm rings. Rufus wags his tail and pants looking cheerful again. That alarm is when he should have woken me up.
Rufus is a rescue dog, a Labrador, he has been in the family for seven years. I pull out a dog treat from the box on my shelf and throw it at him. He jumps to grab it midair and then gets busy chewing while I head for the shower.