Chapter 19
Ishika
“Say sunrise!” I click a picture of Ryan and I as a huge flock of birds fly past us.
“Say thoroughly fucked!” I smile angling my phone higher so my camera can capture the backdrop. “Oh my God! Can you at least pretend to be happy? Was our dirty sex not satisfactory?” I elbow him in his ribs.
Ryan chews his lip and his frown deepens.
He’s been like this in every one of the photographs I took after our amazing open air dirty sex session.
We are sitting on the rusty bench wrapped in a warm blanket with a flask of hot coffee.
My man is so thoughtful that he brought a blanket and coffee from home.
He gave me his clean sweatshirt to wear because the one I had on was wet and dirty.
My back presses into his naked chest as I scan his face on my phone screen. “What doomsday prophecy is going on in your head that you seem utterly dejected?”
He lifts his gaze to me. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Ishika, I never forget to use protection.”
“GAWD! For the hundredth time, I’m on the pill. I already told you that. Plus, I asked for it.”
“Still. I…” His voice trails off as he swallows. “I’m not this reckless. I don’t know what happens to me when I’m with you.”
“It’s not your fault. I’ve a magic pussy. I’m simply irresistible.” I giggle.
“That’s a definite yes.” He wraps his arms around me. “No regrets then.”
“No regrets.” I kiss his nose then lean into his chest watching the sun light up the world. “I didn’t know this place exists. It’s so beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you,” Ryan says.
“You already got laid, no need to flirt anymore.” His compliments make my heart flutter.
“I give you my heart and you call me a flirt. Tsk. Tsk. My ego’s bruised. I guess now, I have to convince you how serious I am.”
I laugh playing along. “Go ahead convince me.”
Detaching himself from me, he stands. Then he starts walking backward, stepping back and away from me.
When he reaches the end of the cliff he stops.
“You know, babe. You had me from the moment you waved your middle finger at me and called me an asshole. You remember that day, don’t you?
I haven’t felt complete since. Not until last night.
Until us. You complete me, Ishika.” He kisses his palm and blows me a kiss.
I catch his flying kiss, giggling at his crazy antics, feeling warm and fuzzy.
“I could die for you, Ishika. My purpose to live is only to have you in my arms again.”
“Wow, that’s so over-the-top, cheesy, and melodramatic. Your lines suck, Romeo.” I giggle.
“You don’t believe me.” His brow furrows, then he gives me a slow disbelieving headshake.
I shake my head and giggle. He likes this game. He loves the way I tease him.
“Now, what will make you believe that from this day onward, I am compleatly yours.” He taps his finger on his chin thoughtfully for a second. “Stay right here, be right back,” He says.
With that, he jumps.
He fucking jumps.
He does a backflip that pushes him off the edge and down the cliff.
He disappears right before my eyes.
My heart leaps into my throat. “RYAN!” A scream rips out of me as my stomach drops. I run after him. Horror washes over me. He jumped off the cliff.
What the fuck!
I look around and there are miles and miles of lush green forest beneath us. The drop is steep. No way can you jump from here and land on your feet and survive.
Shit!
SHIT!
Oh God.
“RYAN!” I let out a gut-wrenching scream as my heartbeats escalate.
“Right here, baby,” his voice coos. “Stay where you are.”
The minute I hear his voice I fall on my hands and knees. I crawl closer to the edge, the direction of his voice. Mustering up all my courage, I look down the edge of the mountain. There is this little ledge a few feet below and Ryan is right there. Crouching down and picking wildflowers.
He spots me over his shoulder from his crouching position and waves. Standing up, he extends his arm toward me. A bunch of purple flowers arrive right under my nose. “For you, the girl in my dreams.” He grins up at me.
I collect the flowers from him hurriedly. “Ryan Harper, you get back here, right now.”
My heart is still racing when Ryan climbs back up the edge like he is some rock-climbing ninja. The minute he is away from the edge, I dash into his arms, smothering my face in his chest.
“You gave me a heart attack, you evil man. Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“I told you I’d be right back. Do you like the flowers?” he asks excitedly.
“I love them.” My heart is still beating crazily in my chest.
He gave me wild purple daisies. These are my new favorite because he picked them for me. And knowing him, I am guessing this place means something to him. These flowers hold some significance; he has put some thought into his gift.
“The first time I saw you, you wore a purple dress like the color of these flowers,” he says, biting his thick bottom lip and looking into my eyes. “They are wild, just like you. Be wild for me, Ishika.” He kisses me.
“Tell me about this place? How did you find it?”
“My dad used to bring us here to watch the sunrise.” I give his hand a squeeze when his mood turns somber.
“He was an amazing dad. He used to bring Owen and me here so Mom could sleep in on Sundays. He would pick wildflowers for Mom. Not the purple flowers like the ones I gave you. Mom’s were yellow. ”
I grip the flowers closer to my chest. He is opening up to me. He is giving me a piece of his past.
“He brought us here the weekend before he died. We picked flowers for Mom and he promised me he would be there for my soccer match. I had a few schools interested and they were coming to watch me play in two weeks’ time.
My coach was sure that my prospects of landing a full ride to a good college looked promising.
My dad bought a bunch of tickets for my game and distributed them to all his friends.
He was so pumped, Ishy. He would talk about how I would become a soccer star and play for the league teams overseas.
“His last Sunday, we watched the sunrise sipping hot chocolate from his flask.
He talked about his new restaurant, the new recipes that he was working on; he spoke about how in the next two years, he would be able to buy Mom her dream home.
A big family home with a big pool. That man was so positive, so full of life and had so much zeal for the future.
He was my rock. Then he was gone and I was so angry.
“I haven’t been here since that Sunday. It’s been years but I didn’t want to come here and remember him promising us all those things and then breaking those promises.
But when I woke up this morning, I wanted to come here with you.
After all these years, I’m finally okay to stand here and not be angry anymore.
“You know the day he died; I caught my parents showering together. I gagged and yelled at them. Then I ran upstairs and told Owen what I saw. Dad cooked us pancakes while Owen and I gave him the shits. Owen said, ‘Next time remember to lock the door. Children with impressionable minds live here. After what my brother witnessed this morning, you two should be ashamed of yourselves. You both have now tainted Ryan’s brain forever.’ Mom doubled over and started laughing.
Dad couldn’t keep a straight face either.
We were happy that morning. That was the last time I saw him alive.
“They said he was depressed. They said he was suicidal. They said he jumped off the roof of his restaurant building because he stole from his own business. Because he was afraid of being caught red-handed. I screamed, yelled, and cried to every single person I could find. I told them they were wrong, those accusations were wrong. There was no way my dad would take his own life. No one listened. They told me he had debts. That he had borrowed money and gambled it away. That he had stolen from the restaurant to feed his gambling addiction. I didn’t believe them.
I rejected the evidence the police showed me.
There was no way my father would do that to his family. ”
He hides his pain so well that I never knew he was still hurting.
“I didn’t know your father personally, but I know from the way you speak of him that he loved you.
I believe you, Ryan. Your father would never do anything to hurt his family.
But you need closure. I don’t know how you’ll get there, but you are not doing this alone.
Not anymore. You have me on your side.” I touch his DAD tattoo on his bicep.
“He was my anchor. He was my teacher, my coach, my motivator. He told me to follow the right path, even if it wasn’t the easiest. He told me to never give up. How could he not follow his own advice?”
I want to take his pain away but I don’t know how. I hold him close and kiss his chest.
“You are brave. You made a respectable life for yourself, even after what happened. You didn’t give up. No wonder Owen adores you. You’re a hero, Ryan.”
He winces as if I slapped him across his face. He pushes away from me as his features twist with guilt.
“I’m not brave. I’m a coward, Ishika. I won’t let you build me up with lies.
I want to tell you my truth. I want you to hear about my weakness.
Did you know I tried to run away from home, from all my troubles?
I fucking hated walking in my father’s shoes.
I hated the responsibility that fell on my shoulders.
I hated the shitstorm I was left to deal with.
I told myself, I didn’t sign up for this.
I never asked for a mother who was drowning in grief.
I didn’t want a clingy brother, who looked up to me as if I had answers to every fucking problem.
Somehow, I became the man in charge when all I wanted to do was be a kid, get a scholarship and get out of this town for good. So one night, I decided to escape.”