Chapter 2
DAHLIA
She lives.”
Marisa’s voice pulls me out of a dead sleep, and for a blissful second I don’t remember why I’m on her couch with mascara cemented to my lashes, my sinuses stuffed like I have a head cold, and a crick in my neck that I already know is going to take days to get rid of.
Then it hits. The bathroom. Two girls at the sinks, reapplying lip gloss, voices bouncing off the tile like they were alone.
Can you believe how Jason treats his girlfriend? I swear she must be the only person who doesn’t know he’s been fucking Jackie.
And the other one, casual as commenting on the weather. Yeah, I heard he’s about to dump her. To be with Jackie.
I was in the stall. Hands frozen on the lock. My whole life collapsing in the time it took two strangers to wash their hands and walk out. I thought Jason and I were good. I even thought he was going to propose to me.
That just makes me feel like the biggest idiot in the history of clueless idiots.
Then I remember texting my brother, only to find out it was his best friend.
I typed his name into my contacts and clicked the one that said “Cole—Jared’s friend” instead of just “Jared.” But Cole Barrett showed up and walked me out of that restaurant and brought me to Marisa’s like it was no big deal.
I press my face into the throw pillow and groan, especially because I was not prepared for how he looks now.
It doesn’t make sense that when he was dropping me off, I wanted to kiss him.
He’s so tall and muscular, but he was also so kind and gentle and didn’t try anything with me.
My brother would probably kill him if he tried, but still.
A giant, sexy Navy SEAL whisks you to safety, you’d have to be dead not to notice.
Marisa rounds the corner from the kitchen with two mugs.
She’s already dressed and ready for the day like a normal person.
I look like something the cat dragged in.
Speaking of which—Whiskers is watching me from the armchair with the specific contempt only a Persian can deliver. I sneeze and reach for a tissue.
“I’m alive,” I say, gratefully accepting the mug of coffee she offers. “Though it’s debatable if I want to be.”
“Drink.” She takes a seat on the other end of the couch and Whiskers curls up on her lap. “Now. Tell me everything. And I mean everything, because I still can’t believe it.”
So I tell her. Jason. The cheating—not a one-time slip, not a drunken mistake, but months of it.
How I stood in that bathroom stall with my heart breaking while two girls I’d never met gossiped about what everyone but me has apparently known for months.
Then I tell her how I tried texting my brother, and Cole showed up instead.
Marisa leans forward. “Cole. As in the SEAL. As in the guy in the photo on Jared’s fridge. That’s who dropped you off last night?”
“You remember that?”
“Dahlia. That photo is a man holding an assault rifle in front of a helicopter and somehow looking like he belongs on the cover of a romance novel. Yes, I remember the photo.” She sips her coffee. “How did you even end up texting him?”
“Jared gave me his number a while back. For emergencies. I had it saved as ‘Cole—Jared’s friend.’ When I searched for Jared, I wasn’t seeing clearly and I got Cole instead.
” I stare into my mug. “He didn’t even hesitate.
He didn’t know who I was, just that I needed help.
I sent him my location and he showed up. ”
“That’s impressive. Most people would have ignored it.”
“Yeah. He asked for a pin and showed up immediately. He got me out of there before Jason arrived.”
I wrap both hands around my mug and try not to think about the way he held my coat open for me.
Jason certainly never did that. How his knuckles grazed the back of my neck and every nerve ending in my body stood at attention.
How he didn’t ask a single unnecessary question—just handled it, like rescuing an emotional woman from an engagement party was just another night for him.
Something must be wrong with me if I’m lusting after Cole like this.
I just found out my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—has been cheating on me for months and was about to dump me.
Fantasizing about another man should be the last thing I’m doing.
Though maybe it says something about my relationship with Jason that it is.
“He’s Jared’s best friend,” I say, like that settles it.
“And?”
“And nothing. He gave me a ride. That’s the whole story.”
Marisa gives me the look she’s given me since we met freshman year of high school, the one that says I know you’re full of shit, but I’ll wait for you to figure it out.
I sneeze, and that triggers even more sneezes. Whiskers flicks his tail.
By noon, we’re one cheesy movie down on Netflix, but my eyes are now swollen half-shut, and my throat feels like I swallowed a cactus.
Whiskers owns everything in Marisa’s apartment, and my allergy meds are in the bathroom of the apartment I used to share with my cheating ex-boyfriend. Used to. Past tense.
“I’m not sure you should stay here another night,” Marisa says, handing me a box of tissues. “You’ll asphyxiate.”
“I can’t afford a hotel. Not right now.”
“So stay at your brother’s.”
I blow my nose. “Cole’s there.”
“And?”
“And—” I sneeze again, hard enough that my ribs ache. “I’ll call Jared.”
He answers on the second ring, and I tell him what happened.
“I’ll kill him. You deserve better, sis. Just go over and stay at my place, if Marisa’s cat is bothering you. You already have a key.”
“Cole’s there, Jared.”
“I know, Dahlia. Cole is the safest person I know. You don’t have to worry about him. He got you out of that mess, didn’t he?”
“You’re probably right. I’ll head over there soon.”
“Good. You need anything, call. Or just ask Cole.”
The problem is all of my dreams last night were X-rated and featured Cole doing things it would make me blush to say aloud.
Safe isn’t the problem.
My fantasies about Cole are the problem.
“Hey,” I call out as I unlock the door and walk into my brother’s apartment.
I hear a muffled sound from one of the bedrooms, and Cole walks out and stares at me.
“Hey.”
I pull my coat tighter over my chest. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he was just being nice last night and won’t take kindly to me being here. “Jared said I can stay here. Is that okay?”
“He’s your brother. Of course it’s okay,” he says, but there’s a hesitation in his voice.
“Unless you don’t want me here.” Marisa isn’t my only friend. Though after hearing the girls in the bathroom say everyone knew but me, I’m not sure what other friend I could trust right now. What if all my friends also knew and didn’t say anything?
“Why wouldn’t I want you here?”
“I don’t know.” I push my hair behind my ear. “It’s just… My life just exploded. I don’t know what I should be doing right now. I don’t even know why you’re here.”
He’s quiet for a moment, then his voice softens. “You don’t have to know right now. I’m in the spare room, but give me a sec and I’ll make up Jared’s room for you.”
I start to protest, but he grabs sheets from the closet and then is a man on a mission in my brother’s bedroom.
“Done.”
“Thank you, Cole. I’m just going to hang out for a bit,” I say, frustrated that I feel like I need to apologize for needing space. But Cole doesn’t say anything or make me feel guilty, just nods and leaves me alone.
I sit on my brother’s bed and tell myself this is fine, and try not to cry.
How could I have missed Jason cheating on me?
Then the weight of dread settles over me, as I think about how I have to figure out how to get my stuff from Jason’s, find my own place, rebuild my life, and start all over again.
I’ve done hard things before, but I thought I was past breakups and having to find someone new to start over with.
I hear Cole moving around in the kitchen, then I’m drawn out of the bedroom by the smell of something that makes my mouth water.
Suddenly hungry, I head to the kitchen and find Cole at the stove, the scent of garlic and butter filling the air. I lean against the doorframe and watch the muscles in his back flex as he moves, and all the dreams from last night loop in my brain and I squeeze my legs together.
I haven’t seen this man since high school.
I barely remember him from back then—he was just Jared’s friend, older and quiet, someone who existed in the world of my brother and whom I barely saw.
I don’t understand how my body lights up and comes to attention when we’re together.
Shouldn’t I despise all men right now? But it’s like my body recognizes something in Cole that says, YES, HIM, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
He’s dangerously sexy and gentle with me in this careful, unhurried way, and every second of it reminds me of how different he is from Jason.
We were together for two years, and if I’m honest with myself, I never felt this way with Jason. Jason was safe.
Cole feels dangerous in a way that makes me want to run straight at him and throw myself into his arms.
My core flames to life, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anywhere else to go. Somehow, this has to work. He probably still thinks of me as Jared’s little sister and considers my being here a nuisance. What happens when my brother comes home?
What is wrong with me?
“You cook?” I say from the doorway because I’m aware I’m now staring at him, and I don’t want to make this any weirder than it already is.
“Yeah. You might not think it, but a well-stocked grocery store and kitchen are luxuries when you’re on a mission. I learned to cook and appreciate it when I can.” He glances over his shoulder and looks at me, then back to the pan. “Sit down. This’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
When we’ve finished eating, he asks how I’m doing and doesn’t push when I say I’m fine. He doesn’t offer unsolicited advice or even talk trash about Jason. He just nods, clears the table, and puts the dishes in the dishwasher.
Cole goes out for a while, and I’m pretty sure it’s to give me space.
I try to watch a movie, but everything ends up making me cry, and I turn it off.
I go to bed and try to sleep, but the last twenty-four hours replays in a cruel loop in my head, and a new wave of anger and sadness crashes over me.
Will I always be single? Am I unlovable?
Would Jason have left me if I was skinny?
Without realizing I was asleep, I startle awake, and it takes me a moment to realize where I am.
Through the wall, I can hear that Cole is back and that he’s moving quietly. The walls aren’t particularly thick here, so every sound carries.
I’m wide awake now. My mind rapidly cycling between cursing Jason for cheating on me, then fantasizing about Cole.