CHAPTER SIX IESHA
CHAPTER SIX
IESHA
“He said he wished he wouldn’t have fell in love with me, Ayzjohnna. Then he walked out of the door. He left me in shambles.”
She slowly shook her head. It had been two days since Seven left my place, and I hadn’t recovered from what he did.
I couldn’t believe that nigga jacked off on my damn floor!
I was so angry and hurt. I was ready to fucking explode on his ass until he said what he said.
My tears were only the precursor to me cussing him the fuck out.
I didn’t just cry when I was sad. I cried when I was angry as well.
That night, I was feeling both emotions at dangerous levels.
Him saying he loved me crippled me. It left me speechless.
He came in my apartment, trying to demand sex.
I was feeling it, but I wanted to talk first. It was like he was planning to fuck me and leave me.
Had I given it up to him and he ghosted me afterward, I would have lost my mind.
If I had held out all this time, why would he think I would be cool with a goodbye fuck?
“Iesha, do you love him?”
I rolled my eyes, then took a sip of my drink. After swallowing, I huffed. “Yeah. I don’t know why though, because he gets on my damn nerves.”
“Search your soul. What made you fall in love with him? Dwell on that for a while and then text or call him.”
I’d already repeatedly analyzed that. Seven Storm Henderson Junior was unlike any other man I had ever dealt with. The nigga was unhinged. He was crazy. Quincy said he had to be a psychopath. I could only chuckle about it. That nigga was definitely borderline.
“Have you had sex with him?”
“No.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “How long has it been?”
“Two years, since we met. Almost five years since I had sex.”
“Damn! That nigga been holding out the whole time?”
“That’s what he told me a while ago.”
“No wonder he acting a fool. The nigga dick has probably been cussing him the fuck out.”
“Shut up, fool. We weren’t a couple for like the first six or seven months after we met. Then we were only a couple for like six months after that.”
“So for six months, what did y’all do?”
“He took me out to dinner at least once a week. We even went to Houston so I could ice skate. He took me shopping a couple of times—”
“And you still didn’t give up the na-na?”
“It seems like whenever I had it in my mind to give it to him, he would do something to piss me off. I took that as a sign to not do it. When he’s around me, he gets on my nerves, but when he isn’t, I miss him. Ugh!”
“Either you crazy, or you need to decide if his flaws are dealbreakers. Maybe if you give him some and actually act like you love him and want him, he will be different with you. He probably feels like you playing with him.”
I took a deep breath and gulped the rest of my drink. “Okay. I’m done with that conversation. I can’t take anymore discourse about Seven right now . . . with his sexy ass.”
She fell out laughing as we finished up our lunch.
She had to get back to work, and I needed to do the same.
The Hendersons had me designing a page on their site for steer rentals for rodeos.
They were already doing that, but only to people or organizations they knew locally.
They wanted to expand. They also needed a flyer for social media.
There were a lot of rodeos popping up, especially Black ones.
They needed to know that Henderson Ranch and Farms was Black-owned.
I was pretty sure Seven and Mayor Storm were spearheading that.
Mr. Mayor was already involved in that, and it was his idea to start doing that before their father, Seven’s grandfather, passed away.
I knew I would have to be in the meeting about that to be able to provide ideas for marketing flyers and web design.
Honestly, I felt like they could do this without me.
They didn’t need me to design anything. Their name spoke for itself.
I felt like they were only being nice to me and supporting my business because I was with Seven. Since we wouldn’t be together, I should probably move on when my contract ended. That meant I only had about three months left, right before my birthday.
We were supposed to go on a cruise for my birthday.
Seven had already purchased the package.
He would probably give that shit to one of his sisters or married cousins.
God, I was getting so depressed. My sister was making me feel like my boundaries were too much to ask for.
My biggest mistake was hanging around him for so long.
Him carrying a gun everywhere he went gave me pause.
I looked past it when he told me some people had tried to rob him, and he had killed one of them.
“Sis, you okay?”
I blinked rapidly and turned to her. I had literally zoned out. Not only had Seven buried himself deep within me, but his family had also. There would be no more lunches at the diner, no more bullshit to laugh at with his sisters and his father, no more hugs from Maui . . . I just missed all of it.
“I’m okay. I need to go home and get busy doing what these people pay me to do.”
Ayzjohnna nodded. “Yeah, me too. If that man has you zoning out and not finishing one of your favorite meals, you need to figure out how to get this shit together. I love you, and I want to see you happy. You haven’t been happy, Iesha.
Stop being fearful and take risks. You won’t know what you are capable of otherwise. ”
I nodded as we stood, begging the tears to stay in place, at least until I could make it to my car.
We walked out together, then hugged and went our separate ways.
Once I got to my car and had cranked it up, I thought about all the things I wanted to say to Seven that I didn’t get to say.
His mom and I used to talk a lot, and she said it took her leaving Mr. Storm behind for him to see what he was missing.
I did that already, but that didn’t seem to work.
Seven was rude for no reason. It was in his genetic makeup.
That meant it would be a lot harder to tame.
She said he was ten times worse than Mr. Storm, and I truly believed that.
She said Mr. Storm had mellowed out some over the years, but I could see it was there when I met him for the first time at their house, after Seven got shot.
She was trying so hard to put Seven and me together.
Seven said he loved me, but I felt like he was only infatuated.
Love was patient. Love was kind. It didn’t dishonor others.
I felt like Seven just wanted to be with me simply to say he was in a relationship.
His best bet was to be with someone who could deal with all his bullshit.
I was tired of it. My mind was constantly trying to decipher if I was being too harsh, but then he would end up doing something else to have me pissed at him all over again.
He stared me right in the eyes and nutted on my fucking floor.
He was going to just leave it there too.
I supposed his conscience kicked in, causing him to wipe it up.
I wanted to assume that my tears moved him to do so.
If he only knew . . . Those tears were the beginning of the end.
Deciding to take my sister’s advice, I grabbed my phone and opened our thread.
He needed to hear everything I had to say, so he could see just how much of an ass he’d been.
Hello, Seven. I wanted to be cordial in this text, but I don’t know why.
You wouldn’t care how whatever you wanted to say affected other people.
The other night, you were such a jackass, I didn’t get to say everything I needed to say.
I know I contributed slightly because it was hard to resist you, but I was prepared to be with you . . . in every way . . . after our talk.
Seven, I need a man who can use emotional intelligence.
You are so smart. You have the degrees to prove it.
You’re responsible when it comes to your finances.
I notice how tight your fist is, but you still splurged on me.
I loved that. When it’s just you and me, away from everything and everybody, you’re sweet, passionate, and loving.
The problem is whenever someone enters our bubble.
You can be rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate.
That type of behavior is uncalled for. Now, if that person was messing with us or one of us, it would be warranted.
The way you spoke to my brother . . . There was a better way to handle that.
The way you ejaculated on my floor the other night was hurtful.
I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to tell me that you would at least try to work on those things.
To me, your behavior is a red flag. I try to live a peaceful life.
Somehow, I thought I could have that with you.
The other night proved that you’re spoiled, selfish, and an all-around jackass when you can’t get your way.
Seven . . . God this is hard. I don’t want to feel like I wasted two years of my life fooling around with you, but that’s exactly what it feels like.
I fell in love with you too . . . the amazing parts of you and even your petty.
So, I’m heartbroken, baby. You broke my heart.
Still . . . I want you to be great and be all that God has called you to be. Like you said, see you around.
I read over what I’d typed, then hesitantly hit send. I closed my eyes and visualized his face when he saw my name on his screen, then when he saw how long the message was.
My phone vibrated, indicating he’d already responded.
I’m in a meeting. I’ll read your four-page letter when it’s over.
This nigga . . .
I huffed loudly like he could hear me, then left the parking lot. While I knew I needed to go and work, my body wanted to sleep, and I wasn’t about to argue with it.