Chapter Three
~Wyatt~
My hand reaches up and rubs my chest as I watch Georgie’s retreating form as she scurries up the stairs.
Seeing the look on her face when I told her I was drunk was like a knife to the heart.
She looked so hurt, so defeated. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them, but what else was I supposed to say?
I can’t tell her how I really feel, that she makes me feel like a better man, that being near her and kissing her felt so right, so much like coming home that it scared me. Instead of facing that fear, I panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“Why else would you have kissed me?” Her sad words play over and over in my head and I want to go back in time and kick my own ass for putting that kind of pain in her eyes. I’ve had less than one beer tonight, and had a totally clear mind when I kissed her.
If I was drunk on anything it was her. Her beauty and natural goodness that shines through all the damn time is intoxicating.
Instead of saying any of those nice words though, I ruined the most wonderful kiss I’ve ever had by being my jackass self.
If I didn’t know it already, I know it now.
Georgie definitely deserves better than the likes of me.
Clutching onto the chocolate bars like a lifeline, I make my way back out to the campfire, keeping my eyes low so no one can tell that I just made a monumental screw up.
I toss the bars on the table, grab a beer from the cooler, and plop back down on a log.
Popping the top off the bottle, I take a long gulp of the amber liquid.
I wasn’t drunk before, but I will be soon enough.
I’ll do anything to erase the memory of hurting Georgie from my mind, if only for a little while.
“Where’s Georgie?” Scarlett asks, her head turning to look back at the house. “It’s her twenty-first and she hasn’t even had a drink yet.”
I try to ignore the concerned look on my sister’s face and the renewed sense of shame it brings. I ruined our kiss and her birthday. Way to go, Wyatt. Trying to brush that aside and appear nonchalant, I shrug a shoulder. “Went up to bed. Said she had a headache.”
Scarlett’s brow furrows. “Without saying goodnight? That’s not like her.” It’s not like her. Georgie is always the last one to bed usually, making sure everyone is taken care of before she even thinks about herself.
“Yea, well. It’s her birthday so it’s her prerogative to go to bed early,” I grumble, finishing off my beer and standing up to get another.
When I’m back in my seat, beer already open and ready to be consumed, I look around to see all my siblings staring at me.
“What?” I bark, causing baby Albie to stir in him mama’s arms and start crying.
Sawyer cuts me a fierce look and his chest puffs out angrily, but one touch to his arm from his wife has him calming and smiling down at her and their son. “It’s about time we got this little one to bed,” she tells him, nodding over at me before standing and walking towards the house.
Sawyer glares at me and then tilts his head at Mav who gathers his wife and bustles her inside. “Why don’t you head in baby,” Brooks tells his wife Lacey and helps her up before planting a kiss goodnight on her lips. “I’ll be in soon.”
Lacey smiles at him and walks away, but not before grabbing Scarlett and dragging our baby sister in along with her. “Alright, I’m coming,” she grumbles, shooting me a death glare. Scarlett knows I screwed up, and once Georgie tells her what I did, I know there will be hell to pay from her.
Once everyone is gone, Brooks sits on the log next to me and bumps my knee with his. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really, no,” I tell him, finishing off my second beer and cursing my body mass and alcohol tolerance for not erasing the sight of an upset Georgie from my mind yet.
My head tilts back and I look up at the stars, wishing my mom and dad were here to tell me they love me despite all my screw ups, though even they would take issue with the way I treated their surrogate daughter.
Brooks knocks my knee again, drawing my attention over to him.
“Do it anyway,” he commands. Brooks is a good five years older than me, but he’s always been easy to talk to.
He’s fairly easy going, is less quick to get frustrated like Sawyer, and is less gruff and better at listening than Mav or Scarlett.
I suppose I’m going to have to talk to someone.
I need to make things right with Georgie, and I don’t have the first clue on how to do that.
After releasing a harsh breath, I fill him in on everything, how I’ve been thinking differently about Georgie for the last year or so, how I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her, and how I screwed up because I know I’m not anywhere near good enough for her.
When I’m finished, I look over at Brooks and see exactly what I expected. He looks pissed. “What the fuck, Wyatt?”
With my elbows on my knees, I rest my head against my closed fists. “I know. I know I messed up so bad. I should never have kissed her, but more than that I shouldn’t have lied about why. How do I fix it?”
When I peek my eyes over at Brooks, he’s got a thoughtful look on his face. “I agree that you shouldn’t have lied about the reason why you did it, but not that you did it in the first place.” When I raise a brow at that bit of news, he continues. “Why do you think you aren’t good enough?”
I shrug a shoulder. “I’m a screw up, a joker,” I say, my voice getting lower. “A clown.” Brooks scoffs and punches my shoulder, hard. “Ow, fucker. What was that for?”
“For being a dumbass,” he says, shaking his head at me. “Wyatt, we all know that you’re kidding around is to keep us smiling, keep things light so we don’t all fall back into feeling how much we miss mom and dad.”
My eyes widen at this new information. “I never figured you guys knew that. You were always giving me shit for being such a goof-off that I guessed that was all you saw me as.”
Brooks winces, his expression turning contrite. “That was kind of our way of showing you we love you,” he tells me, tapping his leg with his hand. “I guess we went a little too far with that. I’m sorry, Wy. If I would have known that’s all you would think of yourself, I never would have done it.”
“S-okay,” I tell him. “Nothing we can do to change the past.”
Brooks smiles. “Exactly, but you can change your future,” he says, nodding up at the homestead. “You’re a good guy, Wyatt. Funny, yes, but also smart and hard-working. Someone I think Georgie would be proud to be with, especially considering she’s been in love with you for the last ten years.”
I rock back on the log, damn near falling off. “What are you talking about? She’s not in love with me,” I insist, even though in my heart of hearts I want it to be true so badly.
A snort sounds next to me. “If you think that, you’re a blind fool,” he says, shaking his head.
“Either way, you’ve got to make things right with her in the morning.
Apologize and tell her how you really feel, Wy.
She deserves the truth, and you deserve a chance at happiness.
” Brooks slaps my back and stands, grabbing the bucket to pour water and dirt on the fire.
I stand up to help him, leaning away from the smoke that rises as we douse the flames. “When the hell did you get so wise?” I ask as we walk up to the house.
Brooks smiles sadly. “I almost lost my chance, almost lost Lacey entirely,” he tells me, reminding me of how his now-wife was in a car crash and got amnesia for a while. “I don’t want to see the same thing happen to you.”
When we’re on the porch, I turn to my older brother and pull him in for a hug. “Thanks, Brookie. You’re the best.”
He laughs and slaps my back a few times. “You’re welcome,” he says, opening the door to the house and heading inside. “But if you call me Brookie again, I’m going to kick your ass.”
I chuckle and lock up the house. As I make my way up the stairs, I try to think of exactly how I can apologize to Georgie.
A simple “I’m sorry” isn’t going to cut it.
No, I need to go above and beyond to make things square between us, and after that I can tell her how I really feel.
That I love her and want to be with her.
I may not feel totally worthy yet, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be.
***
The alarm on my phone sounds a bit earlier than normal, but that’s okay.
I’m used to waking up during the early hours of the morning.
A rancher’s work starts early and ends late, but it’s all worth it to be able to work the land and be your own boss.
That work will wait today, though. This morning, I’m up early to get started on breakfast and clean up from the night before.
Georgie is normally up early, getting the coffee pot going and prepping for the morning meal, so I had to wake up an extra hour early to beat her to it.
My eyes are dry as hell and my back aches a bit, but it’s worth it to take a little bit of the load off her plate and show her that I care about her.
After a quick shower, I head downstairs and check the calendar to see what meal she planned for today, sighing with relief when I see it’s just scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. No doubt Georgie planned something light for the morning after her birthday, knowing how tired and possibly hungover some of us would be.
My girl’s is a smart one, I think to myself as I go to grab the bacon from the fridge.
My girl. It feels right to think of Georgie that way, and if everything goes as planned, I won’t just have to think it because she’ll be my girl for real.
Trying to tell myself I wasn’t in love with her was dumb, and I’m trying not to be that anymore.