Chapter Four
~Georgie~
Three months later
The April sun feels good on my skin as it streams in through the window of my small apartment, warming my skin that’s icy cold from the air conditioner that blasts a little too hard despite my best efforts to fix it and the many calls to the landlord.
When I left Landry Ranch a few months ago, I thought I might take myself on a mini vacation, see the country.
After the first hour of driving though, I quickly realized how bored I would be.
I was used to working from sun up to sundown and beyond, so sitting on some beach alone with nothing but my thoughts didn’t sound as enticing as I first thought.
My car only took me about one hundred miles away to Oklahoma City when I decided to stop, boredom and regret already setting in. As badly as I wanted to turn around and go back to the ranch, I still felt like I needed this time on my own, time to figure out a few things.
The first thing I did when I got to the city was look for a job.
Finding ones that were available were easy enough, but finding an employer who wouldn’t call your previous place of business wasn’t.
I tried diners, bakeries, hotels, and just about everywhere else I could think of to get a job, but they all wanted to know why I left and talk to Sawyer about how well I worked.
I understand their need to do that, but I wasn’t willing to deal with any of the Landrys just yet.
Rolling over on my bed, I glance at the clock on the nightstand I grabbed from a thrift store.
It’s almost ten o’clock in the morning. Normally, I’d have been up for at least five hours by now, but since my new job is as a waitress at one of the bars in the city and my shifts don’t end until midnight, I’ve been sleeping in more and more.
Sitting up, I rake a hand down my face and look over at my reflection in the mirror that hangs above the small bookcase that holds all my romance novels. My face looks the same as it did three months ago, but I don’t feel like the same person.
In some ways, I feel a little stronger than I did before.
I left everything I knew and made a life for myself as best I could.
My job isn’t as amazing as my old one and the bar is pretty rundown, but the people who work there are nice and treat me well.
In other ways though, the ways that really matter, I feel weaker.
My heart is heavy with how much I miss my family.
Leaving felt brave at the time, but feels less so the more time passes.
It took less than twelve hours of being gone before I broke down and called Scarlett, crying and telling her how sorry I was that I was going to miss her birthday the next week.
She tried to convince me to come home, and I almost did, but then I remembered Wyatt laughing lightly and telling me he was drunk when he kissed me, and I knew I had to stay gone, at least until I could face him without feeling the same humiliation I felt the night of my birthday.
When I told her I was staying gone, she said she understood and that she would be there for me whenever I needed. She’s the best friend a girl could have, and I miss her so much it hurts.
My phone vibrates against my nightstand, and when I see Scarlett’s name flashing across the screen I smile and make a grab for it. It looks like our bestie telepathy is as good as it ever was even though we’re over an hour away from one another. “Hey, Scar.”
I hear a huff of breath over the speaker.
“Don’t ‘Hey, Scar’ me,” she grumbles. “It’s been three months to the day, Georgie.
Can you please come home now? Or at least tell me where you are so I can run away and come live with you?
My brothers are driving me up the damn wall.
Every time I try to go out, they find some excuse for why I can’t go. I need space.”
I laugh at her complaining because it’s basically the same refrain I hear every day when we talk to one another.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that,” I say, standing up and heading to the tiny kitchenette and turning on the hot plate so I can fry an egg.
My mind drifts back to all the times I cooked in the Landry kitchen and I add another item to my must have list for the next place I live. Must have a stove and oven.
Scarlett’s snort brings me back to the present.
“Please. Albie is teething, so Sawyer is dog tired all the time and acting like a lion with a thorn in its paw. Lacey is damn near ready to pop and Brooks is freaking out that they haven’t picked out names yet.
Mav isn’t as bad, but he keeps bugging me to go to one of Violet’s yoga classes and gets all mad if I don’t.
It’s been hell. I swear if my brothers don’t stop acting like a bunch of angry bears I’m going to lose my shit. ”
“Sounds like you already have,” I tell her, smiling at her flustering when I know she wouldn’t trade her brother’s for anything.
I notice that once again she hasn’t mentioned Wyatt.
It’s not unusual. Aside from the first conversation we had where she tried to get me to tell her what he said that made me run off and I told her I just needed to get over my crush on him, she never brings him up and neither do I.
I miss Wyatt. I miss him so much that it hurts and I spend most of my nights tossing and turning, either upset that he so casually kissed me and then brushed it aside, and also turned on at the memory of that kiss and just how much being with him, even only for those few seconds lit up my soul.
I’ve managed to quell my curiosity about him over the last little while, but for some reason, I just can’t anymore. Maybe I miss him too much or maybe I’m over the whole thing enough to not feel a slice of pain in my heart every time I hear his name. “How’s your other brother?”
Scarlett stays quiet for a long moment for answering.
My thoughts immediately go to him having met someone special and getting ready to marry just like his brothers have.
The Landrys seem to be dropping like flies when it comes to being single, so it wouldn’t be a shock, just another little stab to the heart.
“Wyatt’s actually doing really well,” she says, a small bit of surprise in her voice. “He’s been working on a few things here and there, always talking about working towards his future.”
“Future?” Maybe he has met someone and is trying to build a life for them. That fact hurts more than I thought it would, and I have to rub at my chest to ease the pain in my heart. “What kind of future?”
Scarlett exhales slowly. “I don’t know exactly. He’s always talking nonsense,” she tells me, brushing whatever her brother is up to aside. “Honestly, I stopped listening after a while.”
“Course you did,” I say, wishing she had paid more attention so I would have more information.
Even though her brothers are annoying her, it sounds like everyone is doing well.
When I told myself they didn’t need me anymore, a small part of me hoped that wasn’t true, but I guess it was.
I’m glad that they are all happy, but I’m still a bit sad that my leaving wasn’t as big a deal as it could have been.
“Seems you’re all okay. That’s good, real good. ”
“Is that what you got from all I just said?” Scarlett asks, her voice high-pitched and irritated.
“My brothers are on a tear and I am miserable here without my best friend.” She huffs into the speaker and the guilt I feel at having abandoned her is immediate.
“Can you at least tell me where you are so I can come and see you or something? I know you won’t come back here, but I need a break from these goons and a hug from my ride or die. ”
It’s the same question she’s asked me almost every time I hear from her. I think over her request and just how amazing it would feel to have her come and visit me, even if only for a little while. “Well…” I say, trailing off as I feel all my resolve crumble.
“Pleeeaaasssee,” she whines into the phone, and I laugh at just how much she sounds like she did when we were younger and she was begging her daddy for a ride on the tractor. Her old man never gave in, but I’m not as strong as he was.
“Okay, fine,” I tell her, putting her on speaker as I text her the address to my apartment. “I have to work tonight though, so maybe you can come up tomorrow. Sunday is still your day off, right?”
“Yup,” she says happily. “Now that I know you’re in…Oklahoma City? You’ve been that close the whole time?!” She asks incredulously. Before I can answer, she’s already talking again. “Where are you working? Sawyer told me no one’s called to ask for a reference, so I know it’s nowhere that great.”
I grumble at her words even though they’re true.
It’s not the best place, but the people are decent to me, and I get good tips from the customers, even if they do tend to get into arguments and bar fights with each other.
“Oh, um…” I mumble the name of the bar into the speaker, but of course she doesn’t hear me.
“What was that?” She asks, and since I know she won’t let me off the hook until I say, I go ahead and give up the name of my place of employment.
“The Angry Cock,” I say, bracing myself for her giggles. Even saying the name of the bar with a red rooster as its logo still makes me blush.
I can hear Scarlett trying to contain her laughter on the other end, but eventually she gives up and starts to cackle. “Are you for real? The Angry Cock?” Her laughter gets louder and louder until I have to hold the phone away from my face. “What kind of place even is that?”
Straightening my posture to look as proud as can be even though she can’t see me, I try to explain things as best I can. “It’s a bar, and I hate to disappoint you, but the logo is a red rooster, so it isn’t that kind of cock.”
Scarlett’s laughter dies off. “What kind of bar? Is it safe?” Her voice sounds genuinely worried, so I do my best to ease her mind.
“It’s a safe as anywhere else in the city.
The guys who work there are really nice and the bouncer looks out for us waitresses, so I feel okay working there,” I tell her.
“Besides, I saved up a lot while living with you guys and I live pretty frugally, so I only need to work a few hours each night to make enough to pay rent and stuff.”
The pan is finally hot enough and I crack an egg into it, listening to the sizzle as I fry up my breakfast for the day. Cooking for one is certainly much easier than cooking for nine, but I miss making more complicated meals that what I cook for myself.
“Well, I don’t like it and when I come up there the first thing we’re going to do is get you a new job,” she commands, her voice all authority. “Or you could just come home.”
“I could,” I tell her, sliding my egg onto a plate. I would love nothing more than to take her up on her offer, but I need to think about it first before I make another rash decision like the one to leave Landry Ranch in the first place.
“Well, think about it. I better go. It’s my turn to make lunch and it takes me way longer than you to whip up some sandwiches,” she says, a smile in her voice.
I keep telling her to get her brother’s to hire a new housekeeper and cook, but she said they refuse to for whatever reason.
Maybe they’re trying to save money for all the incoming babies. “I’ll text you later about tomorrow.”
“Sounds good. Bye, Scar,” I say, and after she says her goodbyes and is off the phone, I make my way over to the futon to eat my breakfast of a fried egg and dry cereal I snatched from my cabinet.
Looking around at my bare essentials apartment, I sigh and dig into my meal.
Maybe going home isn’t such a bad idea. The fact that I still think of the ranch as home is indication enough of where my heart lies.
Will it be hard to live there again and see Wyatt every day, knowing what almost could have been but never will be?
Yes, but living here without my family has been hard too, and I’m tired of dealing with it.
Life at the ranch may have been about caring for other people, but I loved all of them and it filled my heart with joy to know that I was a part of something.
Even though I’m stronger for it in some ways for living alone, I feel empty, the only things filling my heart are memories and the small scraps of information I get from Scarlett over the phone.
“Nothing needs to be decided today,” I tell myself as I eat up and think about how to fill the rest of my day before my shift starts. Even though I know that’s true, I feel in my heart that I’ve already made the decision.