Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
As much asI didn’t want to indulge in a shopping spree on Xander’s dime, the harsh weather made it difficult to hold on to my resolve. The scarf I had borrowed from him was comically long on me, and his gloves engulfed my small hands. Investing in proper winter gear was a necessity to survive the Canadian winter rather than a luxury.
However, I was also determined to change my fate, especially after Xander flushed my birth control pills down the toilet. And when Jamie casually dropped a brand new MacBook in my hands—claiming it was a gift from Xander—it propelled me right into work mode. I’d never been a “kept” woman, even during my marriage. If there was any chance at rebuilding a new life, I couldn’t keep relying on unsolicited gifts or his Christian charity. Instead, I needed to guarantee myself a weekly paycheck and pay Xander back for everything he’d spent on me. Given that he was my own client, it did complicate things somewhat.
Purchasing winter clothes took less than thirty minutes, and once Jamie dutifully stowed away the shopping bags in the trunk of Xander’s car, I asked to be driven to a nearby café. I pulled out the laptop from my Marc Jacobs Tote Bag, yet another gift from Xander, and spent the remainder of the afternoon with a singular focus in mind—advancing Xander’s career.
I reached out to my liaisons at various companies and kept at it until I had secured Xander three new endorsements. It wasn’t a difficult task because his work ethic, charm, and manners superseded his name. I couldn’t bring him up without him being adored and revered. After spending the afternoon listening to people moon over him, an odd emotion adjacent to pride stirred in my heart.
I felt it the day before as well when I saw how quickly his teammates welcomed me into their tight inner circle. I knew it was because of Xander, not me. Today, too, they talked to me like I was one of their own, and I couldn’t deny that I had never felt so much like a part of the group within any of Henry’s cliques. It warmed my heart.
It also gave birth to a perspective I hadn’t considered since arriving in Canada. If everyone loved Xander, could he really be the monster I painted him out to be?
I spent enough time with him while he was in college to attest that Xander was a good man, but I hadn’t particularly appealed to that side of him. Instead, I’d been distracted by my hurt feelings over him controlling my life and anger at his recent possessiveness. We hadn’t engaged in a conversation with compassion to understand each other’s perspectives.
Maybe if I put myself in his good graces, he would relax around me and exercise some of that maturity he was known for. Only then could I make him understand it’d be a terrible mistake to take over my guardianship or to have a baby with me? Instead, he should be advocating that I no longer needed a conservator at all.
I couldn’t—No, I wouldn’t fall into the same trap again. Whatever was driving his need to possess me had to stem from something. Arguing with him had gotten me nowhere, and as my liaisons reminded me today, I was an excellent diplomat.
It was time to test out the theory.
By the time I closed the lid of the MacBook, the glare from the screen left me with a migraine. The several drinks from last night didn’t help the matter, while the marathon sex this morning still had my body throbbing. I was exhausted and hadn’t wanted to return to the stadium, but I knew arguing with Xander wouldn’t fit my new motto of playing nice.
The fatigue, however, faded the moment we stepped inside the arena. The crispy, cold air greeted me, along with the delicious aromas of beer, snacks, and… humans. I hadn’t seen this many people in years. Where it should’ve been overwhelming, the chaos had the opposite effect. The energy of the crowd revitalized me.
Gone was my lethargy, replaced with flamboyant excitement. As I got to my seat, my eyes pulled to the vibrant colors flashing across the jumbotron. It wasn’t just me. The entire stadium was bursting with enthusiastic fans in orange jerseys, many with Xander’s name on their backs or waving signs that read “Go Trojan Warrior!”
Jasper hadn’t arrived yet. I didn’t know how his conversation with his brother went last night; by the time Xander finally let me up from the bed, he was gone, and I hadn’t seen him since.
The security guards also maintained their distance. The only other people in my section were a few girls who looked half my age. I assumed one must know the players to score seats in this section as it appeared to be more exclusive than general seating.
My stomach dropped when I saw some of them sporting Maxwell jerseys… just like me.Perhaps Xander invited these puck bunnies?
Nausea swirled in my stomach.
My eyes were glued to the youthful girls, meticulously studying their manicured nails and highlighted hair. They tied their jerseys in the back to show off their slim bodies while I swam in mine like a figureless whale. They were vibrant and jovial. In comparison, I resembled a washed-up actress whose best days were behind her.
I wasn’t delusional.
I knew there couldn’t be anything real between Xander and me. If our familial ties hadn’t done it, his age and celebrity status sealed the deal. If the emails and phone calls today were any indication, I should be counting my lucky stars that one of the most sought-after players in the NHL gave me the time of day.
I presumed he had been with plenty of women before me, and there’d also be plenty after me.
I just assumed there wouldn’t be anyone else during me.
The evidence suggested the contrary, and why shouldn’t that be the case? He was a young athlete with his whole life ahead of him, and he should be with one of these girls—someone his age.
They kept giggling as they alternated between filming themselves and photographing the players as they skated onto the ice. After an initial dismissive glance, the girls hardly appeared to notice me at all.But they pulled themselves out of their little bubble long enough to see the dark thundercloud building up inside the rink. That thundercloud was, of course, Xander, who had skated onto the ice and was looking directly at me. Once more, I hadn’t been looking at him because I was distracted by the puck bunnies. He looked like it took every ounce of self-control not to skate over here and punish me for the transgression.
Thoughts of the other women disappeared in the shuffle of the unmistakable sound of skates scraping on the ice, the announcer’s voice booming through the speakers, and the jumbotron displaying player statistics. The atmosphere was simply too electric to be concerned with girls half my age.
My attention was suddenly hijacked by something else, or rather, by someone else. On the ice, the hockey players were making rounds. I couldn’t quite place everyone through their protective helmets, but Xander was easy to recognize since he was so damn tall. He was also the only one who wouldn’t stop staring in my direction.
For once, I was returning the favor. I couldn’t take my eyes off him had I tried. I saw him play yesterday, but there was nothing like game-day adrenaline. He was a natural on the ice, gliding like he owned it. Like he was home.
I was submerged in a sudden bitterness toward Henry. Why did I let him bully me into missing this monumental moment for years?
I dismissed the thought once Jasper joined me. “Isn’t it exciting to watch this live?” he asked, sipping on one of the drinks someone had brought us.
“I can’t believe I’ve never been to one of his games.” I stared at Xander in awe, begrudgingly abiding by his demand to keep my eyes on him.
Xander zoomed across the ice, his movements so swift it was almost impossible to track. Within minutes of the puck dropping, he crashed into someone with immense strength, and the other player audibly collided against the glass.
I winced when his coach screamed his name loud enough that it echoed off the humming rink, though unlike yesterday, he didn’t sound quite as angry. Apparently, he agreed that Xander was magnificent on the ice today. Because I wasn’t the only one frantically tracking him like a madwoman. There was a reason the team’s owner had paid an exorbitant amount to sign him, and the proof of that was present this evening.
The energy was electric, and I was caught up in the exhilaration of it all, though my eyes kept chasing after the same man. I’d see and then lose him again in the flurry of bodies moving in synchronicity.
It might be a crazy thought, but I got the acute sense that Xander was purposefully going out of his way to ensure this game was legendary, and he was doing it because I was in the audience. I had seen clips of his games before, but I’d never seen him play like this.
He pursued the puck relentlessly even when it seemed his heart was about to give out from exhaustion. He kept going when I was sure there was nothing but sweat left of him. He took every shot he could get his hands on. At times, he even seemed to outdo players from his own team, not giving anybody else an opportunity for glory.
Every time he possessed the puck, I dug my nails into my palm as I waited to see what he’d do next, how he’d maneuver around opposing players, all while retaining flawless control of the puck. My adrenaline spiked as he neared the opposite team’s goalie, and I jumped out of my chair and screamed my heart out.
“Let’s go, Trojan Warrior!”
Jasper was at my heels. “Shoot it! Shoot the damn puck!”
He shot the damn puck, and it soared straight into the net. A deafening horn blasted through the arena to announce the goal, followed by the earth-shattering screams of the crowd.
The hiss of skates made me straighten as Xander glided to a halt right in my eye line. Despite the hefty gear, he was graceful, making his bulky frame seem downright massive. His coach screamed another bout of obscenities, this time from excitement. Xander paid him no mind. He threw a thumb at the net and then pointed at me. Almost as if he were saying that goal was for me.
The entire stadium seemed to come to a halt at his pointed gesture. At first, the other girls in my section thought he was pointing at them and jumped for joy. One of them flashed her tits, but his eyes never deviated from mine. An unseemly satisfaction warmed by blood when they picked up that he was silently communicating with me, but even their glares couldn’t topple my mood.
Jasper was watching me as well, inquisitive eyes studying my new vibrant personality, which I supposed he hadn’t witnessed during the entirety of my marriage to his father.
“Do you know those girls?” I couldn’t help asking him, especially since the one to flash Xander hadn’t put her shirt down yet.
“No. But I’m assuming they were invited by Kai and Logan. They’re generally the ones who invite puck bunnies to their games.”
“Oh. Then why are most of them wearing Xander’s jersey?”
Jasper scoffed. “Probably because they’d rather be here for Xander, but my brother never invites girls to his games. So, they try to meet him through the other guys by flirting with them.”
I tried to laugh it off but couldn’t quite manage it. “Brilliant tactic. Does it ever work?” I shouldn’t be pressing the topic. Why couldn’t I drop it?
“On Xander?” Jasper asked as if I had gone mad. “I can’t even remember the last time he looked at a woman.”
I didn’t know my stomach had been swirling this whole time until he said it, and it finally settled. That feeling of nausea subsided, which couldn’t be a good sign if I was this affected by a few girls vying for Xander’s attention.
Fuck. What was happening to me?
Jasper had picked up on it, too. I felt his quiet eyes warming the side of my face.
I didn’t know what he thought of my inability to look away from his brother or of Xander dedicating the goal to me, but I could no longer find it in me to care. I knew at that moment Xander had been waiting to share this part of his life with me, and I didn’t want to miss a second of it.
Xander was having the game of his life, and I was incredibly honored to witness it. It was only the first period of an unimportant game, but he played like it was the deciding game of the Stanley Cup Finals.
By the second period, he had scored another goal and then another, resulting in a hat trick. The fans thundered with excitement, and there seemed to be a customized cheer made up for the Trojan Warrior. Like a zombie, I chanted his name as his fans threw their hats onto the ice in honor of his hat trick.
This time, Xander raised his stick to me, and the camera zoomed in, displaying Jasper’s and my face on the jumbotron. The announcer recognized Jasper from previous games. He commented that Maxwell was playing exceptionally well this evening with the support of his family, thankfully attesting the hat trick to both of our presence in the audience, not just mine.
However, those three goals didn’t satiate Xander’s bloodlust. He returned for the third period with such a vengeance that Jasper finally asked, “Do you know if everything’s okay with Xander? He’s playing kind of intense tonight.”
I couldn’t find it in me to lie, so I asked him a question of my own. “Has he ever played like this before?” For the first time, I peeled my eyes off Xander and spared a glance in Jasper’s way.
He searched my face. I had a sneaking suspicion that he knew something wasn’t right between me and his brother, but if I knew Jasper, he wouldn’t embarrass me by bringing it up. “He has never played like this before,” he said.
My gaze returned to the ice, unwilling to dissect Jasper’s comment.
I was also under Xander’s spell and didn’t want to miss a thing. A comet could’ve hit us then, and I wouldn’t know the difference. I was on my feet, hypnotized like the rest of the fans, and screamed his name as he scored the last game-winning goal of the evening.