CHAPTER SIX
– ZORA –
Reality, nightmare, awake, sleep...everything is a blurry world where nothing makes sense. My eyelids feel heavy, my mind feels clouded, and my body doesn’t feel like my own.
“Take a bite, kitten,” the voice from my left makes me wince, and instead of eating I want to hurl.
I try to suppress it, knowing how much I disappoint and anger him if I do.
Yet, I can’t help it. My body might not feel like my own, but I do know the man sitting beside me is the reason.
The why and how I got here is a giant gap in my brain, while the pain this man inflicts is suppressing me into the shell of a person I am now... someone I don’t even recognize.
A gasp rips from me when I feel a sharp tug on my bound wrists, along with the word voiced as sharp as a whip, “Eat.”
I’m about to lean forward and let my lips part when I hear another voice. “You have her eating out of your hand, eh? Weird. She normally isn’t the docile type.”
A sob rips from me and I shrink back. That voice belongs to Grayer. My sweet Grayer. He can’t be here. It’s my imagination. The safe haven I made inside my head to escape the pain. I squeeze my eyes shut and pull the memory from my brain.
“I’m not holding your hand, sawbones. There’s no need to show others that you’re mine.” His smile lights my heart when he adds, “Everyone knows, or I’ll make sure to remind them.”
I can feel the smile on my face, the touch of his hand cupping my cheek, and the look of adoration in his eyes. A moment in time, a memory, mere minutes where I’ve never felt more alive and loved.
“Answer me, Zora,” Grayer says, his voice harder and lacking the kindness.
It’s not part of my memory and it makes me whimper. Not being able to slip into my own mind would be a complete hell. So much has already been taken from me...I can’t...I won’t be able to live without this small escape.
“Zora.” His voice suddenly becomes softer. “Give me your eyes, sawbones.”
Sawbones. My heart jolts inside my chest and a wave of nausea hits. No one has called me sawbones in over a decade. It’s slang for a doctor and the only one who used to call me that is Grayer.
It’s not a memory.
I slowly open my eyes and find the strength to raise my head. He’s sitting across from me and he’s pointing a gun at the man sitting beside me.
“Sawbones,” he gently repeats. “There you are. Now, do you want to come with me? Or are you...”
“Yes,” I croak and shrink away when my hands are tugged under the table.
“What the fuck did you just do?” Grayer barks.
Footsteps, some shuffling, and then the presence of the man sitting beside me is gone, but my hands are yanked hard as well. I scream in pain and hear someone curse just as loud. A hand reaches for me and I quickly scramble back. Panic hits me as I brace for more pain.
“Roux, grab that fucker and handle this shit,” I hear Grayer say in the distance while I’m unable to catch my breath as full-blown panic takes over.
Fading in and out has become a regular occurrence, and not being conscious is a gift. Sounds fucked-up, and it absolutely is, but it’s better than dealing with the pain. I whimper again and try to shift.
Something is different. For one, I can move my hands, but the most important change is the scent. It’s clean, fresh, and the fabric is soft. I slowly open my eyes and see an older woman by my side.
“Hi, I’m Ivy, a friend of Grayer. Well, we’re more like part of a large family, a brotherhood to be precise. I’m Chopper’s old lady. My husband is one of the older generation of Broken Deeds MC, the mother chapter. Grayer is part of the New Jersey chapter.”
Broken Deeds MC? Mother chapter? Grayer is part of a New Jersey chapter? What is she talking about? Grayer is wearing a leather cut with the Xane MC patch, his father’s club. I frown and try to move slowly because everything always hurts.
“I’m rambling.” She steps forward and I move back.
Too damn fast and it makes me wince at the pain shooting through my limbs.
Ivy clicks her tongue. “Sorry.” She holds her hands palm up. “I didn’t want to scare you. Okay, I’m going to sit down and talk some more.”
I nod and glance down at my wrists.
“Again, I’m sorry if I overstepped, but while you were passed out, I tended to your wounds.
Well, the ones I could see because I didn’t take your clothes off.
If you’re able to, and want to, I have some clean clothes and you can shower.
Now, I do need to ask. Would you like me to do a full exam?
I’m a retired ER doctor and can do a forensic exam right here. ”
I shake my head while she points at a leather bag beside the bed and all of the equipment on the bedside table.
“So, no on the rape kit?”
The nod comes instant. I should. I know it would help if I press charges, but I’m not sure if he actually raped me.
It’s why I croak, “Drugged.”
“Fucker. I hope Grayer makes him suffer and at least cuts off his dick. Shit. He’d better cauterize the wound so the fucker doesn’t bleed out. So, I guess we have no use for the rape kit because he won’t be alive for long anyway.”
I rub my eyes and try to process what she says.
Ivy gives me a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I should go slow. Let’s start over.
Your arms were bare so I took some blood and it’s already at the lab so we’ll get the results soon.
You’re a doctor yourself, which makes it easier.
I don’t have to explain everything, and yet you do have to answer some questions for the sake of technicalities and treatment. Are you up for it?”
I want to say no, curl into a ball, and ignore the world for the rest of my time.
“You mentioned you were drugged. The injuries on your wrists show you’ve been wearing handcuffs for days. You’ve struggled which made the lacerations deep. The wounds haven’t been taken care of and are infected. I’ve cleaned and treated them.”
“Thank you,” I croak.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Her smile is warm, and I instantly like the older woman.
“I’d like a shower, clean clothes,” I whisper and slowly scoot off the bed.
She turns her head. “I brought some of my clothes since Grayer only gave me one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants. You can totally put those on if you want, I just wanted you to have options.”
“Thank you,” I croak once more.
“Sweetie, no need to thank me. We’re all here for you and we’ll all make sure this won’t be happening again, okay?”
I swallow hard and can’t stop the tears from falling. “It’s really over?”
“Definitely. I saw the fucker tied up in the basement. He’s not going to be breathing when Grayer is done.
The look in that man’s eyes? Nah, torturing and killing the fucker won’t be enough for Grayer.
I don’t know the man personally. I’ve only seen him a few times over the years when we visited the New Jersey chapter.
Though, the look in his eyes I know very well.
It’s one I’ve seen in many of the men who have an old lady.
Come on, you don’t have to worry about anything other than taking care of you.
A hot shower to start, but let me cover those bandages on your wrists first.”
A hot shower sounds perfect. Yet, I know what has to be done first. I glance longingly at the shower before I let my gaze shift to the door of the room we’re in.
“Is it locked?” I whisper.
Ivy glances over her shoulder. “Not yet. Would you like me to go so you can lock it yourself?”
“No.” I swallow and push out the words, “I’d like you to lock the door so you can do a full exam.”
“You got it, sweetie.” She slowly gets to her feet.
Her eyes are gray, like the sky on a stormy day. She has long dark green hair, and it’s pulled back into a braid hanging over her shoulder. Once she’s locked the door, Ivy walks to her medical bag and takes out a pair of gloves.
I start to undress while she rambles, “I’ve talked to Angie. Grayer said I should call her because she was concerned about you. She says hi and to take your time coming back. They didn’t accept your resignation and knew there was something fishy going on.”
My heart is racing and I feel awful. Nauseous, exposed, dirty, angry, vulnerable. My breathing becomes erratic.
“You’re so damn strong, you know that?” Ivy’s gray eyes hit me, and I get another warm smile.
Her touch is gentle as she takes my hand and slowly lifts my arm. More tears spill as she checks my body, and I lay back down on the bed so she can complete the exam. Once we’re done, I move to the bathroom and take a shower. I ask Ivy to stay with me because I feel faint.
I close my eyes and let the warm water rain down on me.
My voice is a mere whisper when I tell her, “I have gaps in my memory and can’t be sure if he raped me.
He did keep me drugged, but wanted me alert when he punished me.
He...he was training me to become his good woman.
He killed Alex, my cat, right before my eyes with the threat to kill anyone else connected to me. ”
“I’m so sorry about Alex.” Ivy’s voice is warm and filled with sadness before it turns to an icy calm when she states, “That motherfucker had no right to kidnap you, touch any part of you, or do whatever he fucking did. I found no injuries when I examined your genitals, and the absence of it doesn’t mean rape didn’t occur, but what you described with the whole punishment and submitting?
He might have waited for sex for you to submit to him willingly.
But that motherfucker will pay. And I assure you, he will beg for death.
Though, I’m pretty damn sure your old man will prolong it for as long as he can.
Because that asshole doesn’t deserve death. ”
I agree with her, except for the old man part. I have no clue what she means. For now, I let the water dull out everything and am thankful to still be alive...for now.