CHAPTER SIXTEEN
– ZORA –
The sound of the shower pulls me from my sleep.
Grayer has been gone for...my eyes hit the alarm clock and I realize it’s been hours.
After I took a shower, I crawled into bed and fell asleep.
I rub my eyes and slide out of bed. Light streams from the slightly open door of the bathroom and I inch closer.
Today felt like a personal victory. When I wanted to confront Ramiro, I wasn’t completely sure I could go through with it. Facing that fucker meant reliving what he did, even if some parts are still a gaping hole in my memory. Having Grayer there made me feel invincible.
My breath gets stuck in my lungs as I glance inside the bathroom.
Steam is wafting up from the hot water, surrounding his naked body.
His head is thrown back and he braces himself with one hand against the tiles.
The fingers of his other hand are wrapped tightly around his penis as he jerks back and forth.
Grayer is a sight to behold with his taut muscles, tattoos, and the groans tumbling from his lips.
He feels so familiar and yet his body has changed a lot over the years.
We were one another’s first, but the way his penis is littered with piercings?
Everything will be a new experience from here on out.
Hell, I don’t know if I’m ready for any of it, and yet simply seeing him naked makes me crave to be with him.
Some of the stuff Ramiro did to me is a gaping hole in my memory.
In my nightmares I sometimes get flashes of Ramiro assaulting me, but some things might just be my own mind terrorizing me.
Though, nothing is tainting my vision now.
He groans my name on a mere whisper, and it makes my heart skip. Me. He’s thinking about me while he’s pleasuring himself. This realization makes me crave him. To reach out and touch...to feel his hard length in my hand while we kiss.
I step forward and bump against the door, making it squeak. Grayer’s eyes flash open and glance my way. His hand disappears from his penis and I’m instantly disappointed. My gaze is still locked on his groin and his erection is still pointing up with all the piercings on show as he faces me.
Neither of us are embarrassed as we stare at one another.
Grayer clearly isn’t ashamed of his sexuality or his needs, and to be honest?
I respect him so damn much for taking matters in his own hands instead of seeking out other women.
I know he said he wouldn’t...but still. This is my reasoning for the lack of embarrassment, and if I’m honest with myself? I think it’s sexy as hell.
I lick my bottom lip and whisper, “Keep going.”
His gaze lingers on my mouth as he fists his length again and slowly starts to stroke himself. I’m completely mesmerized and take a step closer. My breathing intensifies as if Grayer’s pleasure is my own. I can only stare and watch how his hand speeds up.
“Zora,” Grayer groans. “I need your eyes, darlin’. Give ’em to me.”
My teeth sink into my lip as I take another step closer, still staring at the way he strokes himself while flicking the thick ring that goes straight through the slit of his penis.
I barely manage to pull my gaze away for a heartbeat or two to let our gaze collide.
The intense fire of desire staring at me is cocooning me with warmth and longing.
I feel treasured and adored when he says my name with so much emotion. I instantly look down to watch him come. Thick lines of cum rip from him and splash down on the tiled floor. I swallow at the dryness in my throat and drag my gaze up.
Grayer reaches for a towel and is still giving me a heated look.
The kind of heat I can feel between my legs.
This very thought gives me hope for our future.
One where intimacy doesn’t hold the distance we had between us just now.
All while it felt like we were closer than we’ve been in over a decade.
Taking a deep breath, I gather all my nerves and walk right up to him. I place my hand against his cheek and rise on my tiptoes to kiss him. He groans into my mouth and I quickly end the kiss and walk out of the bathroom.
A smile is on my face and I grasp the front of my shirt, right above my racing heart.
My panties are clinging to my center and my breasts feel heavy.
All of it shows my mind and body aren’t broken.
Ramiro’s intention to break me into his submissive slave failed. Grayer saved me in more than one way.
“Are you hungry?” Grayer questions from behind me.
I turn to face him and notice the gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips. The sight of the bulge in his pants, knowing...having seen him with my own eyes...has made me hungry in a completely different way. Yet, I’m not ready to take the next step.
“A bit,” I murmur and firm my voice. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Even if I had one before I fell asleep, I feel all hot and my panties are clinging to my center.
“I’ll grab us a snack.” Grayer walks out of the room and I rush into the bathroom.
I take the quickest shower in history and am back in bed when Grayer comes back into the room. He’s carrying a tray with slices of pineapple, cashew nuts, tuna on grain crackers, and cucumber slices. A smile tugs my lips when I reach for the fresh pineapple.
“I knew you’d go for the pineapple first.” Gryer shoots me a grin.
My mouth is filled with juicy sweetness and I’m unable to tell him, “Just like you’ll go for the tuna on grain cracker,” when he reaches for one and shoves it in his mouth.
Grayer takes the remote and turns on the TV.
After flipping through a few channels, he settles for a true-crime show.
We munch on the snacks while watching in comfortable silence.
This right here is friendship. The kind we had growing up, without any influences from the outside.
Another mental acknowledgement Grayer has always been the one for me.
My eyes feel heavy and I snuggle closer to Grayer. He wraps his arm around my body and pulls me flush against him. My head is lying on his chest when I fall asleep. We’re still a tangled mess of limbs when I wake up.
There’s no tightness in my chest from the way I’m caged in Grayer’s arms. My body doesn’t panic, neither does my mind. I rub my cheek against his muscled body and inhale his masculine scent. His arms slightly tighten around me and I feel his lips pressing a kiss on the crown of my head.
“Mornin’, darlin’,” he rumbles. “It’s still early, but I need to get dressed. There were some developments yesterday. I have to go and track some leads, pay some people a visit, and get shit going.”
I push off his chest and stare down at him. “Why are you telling me stuff without actually saying anything?”
A deep sigh releases from him. “I know you should hear the details, but it’s killing me to throw that shit at you.
Fuck. This is all new for me too. I have no clue how my club brothers keep their sanity when it involves their old lady.
Spence and Dion fell first, both women were tied to the case they were working on, so they were actually smack in the middle of it.
Then there’s you, and I feel partly responsible for what that fucker did to you. ”
I jerk my head back. “Why should you feel responsible while I was the one who accepted a date with that asshole before you were even back in town? If anything, you were the one who truly saw me when I needed help and rescued me. Besides, none of it matters because we’re here now.
All of it is in the past and we’re moving forward, right? ”
Grayer squeezes his eyes shut and after a deep breath he finally nods.
It’s then I realize, “You can’t put it behind you, can you? Sharing details about the case reminds you of what Ramiro did to me?”
He jabs his fingers through his hair. “No...yes...it’s not...
fuck. Last night was fucking amazing, and I don’t want anything causing a setback.
Fucking hell, I want to protect you so damn bad and I don’t know how.
It’s going to get a lot worse before we can close this case, Z.
A lot fucking worse. This cartel isn’t just drugs, and weapons.
They also don’t blink twice about putting a bullet into anyone who so much as looks at them the wrong way.
I need to keep you safe, know you’re protected at all times so I can take these fuckers down. ”
His ramblings make sense. “How can I help? What can I do so you know I’m safe?”
“Complete lockdown.” He snorts. “Insane, I know, because you don’t want to leave the clubhouse anyway.”
I place my hand against his cheek and stare into his loving eyes. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”
He leans in and softly kisses me. “And I’m right here for whatever you need.”
My smile is genuine and shows how this man can warm my heart with a single look.
I’ve always loved this man and over time it developed.
When he left my senses might have dulled, but what I feel for him is rooted deep and burns hot.
It flows through my veins and affects my body in a way no one else is able to.
He’s simply ingrained into every cell of my body.
“I love you,” I murmur.
He sucks in a breath and closes his eyes as if the impact from my words just collided with his heart.
When he opens his eyes the words are already there before he voices them, “I’ve always loved you, and will until my dying day.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Let’s not mention your dying day with all the shit you just mentioned, okay?”
He chuckles and places his forehead against mine to touch my nose with his before he echoes, “Okay.”