Chapter 46 – Lily
LILY
ONE HOUR EARLIER
My head pounds as loud voices blur into my consciousness.
A groan escapes me when I roll over. The light is painful, and I blink, eyes struggling to readjust. Where am I? The memory of my fight with Jackson flickers in my mind, and panic courses through ever fiber of my being. A shuffling noise comes beside me.
“Hey,” Jackson says, touching my arm, and I jerk away. He puts his hands up. “Lil, it’s me.”
“Don’t touch me.” I shuffle to a sitting position on the couch, blinking in my surroundings. I’m in the cabin Aster and I cased. The boots by the door are gone, as are the magazines on the table.
Did they remove the evidence?
“You killed Violet.” My voice is weak, eyes bouncing around the small space. “Why? Where is she?”
“Lily,” Jackson says. “She’s…” His gaze wanders past me.
“Look at me!” I shout, scrambling off the couch to stand. I stumble, and he reaches out but I slap him away, our eyes connecting. “Where is Violet?!”
“I can explain.” His expression is full of sympathy that’s pissing me right the hell off. “You just need to calm down.”
“Calm down?!” I’m murderous. Screaming, I rush to Jackson, grabbing his shirt and punching his chest. “Where is she?!” My fists connect with his hard body, but he doesn’t fight back. “Where’s Violet?”
“I’m right here,” a familiar feminine voice says, and I freeze. Every hair on my body stands. My heart stops in my chest. Tears prick my vision, and I turn to the figure now taking up space in the doorway to the kitchen. I release Jackson, bringing a hand to my head. Am I hallucinating? Concussed?
In the doorway, very much alive, is the person I’ve mourned for almost a year.
My best friend. The platonic love of my life—Violet.
Beautiful green eyes. Black-and-purple hair freshly dyed and angled around her face.
My eyes drop to her feet wearing the boots that were by the door.
Angel jean jacket on her shoulders. My chest cracks in two.
She looks… healthy. Normal. Not like a prisoner. And definitely, indisputably, not dead.
Violet takes a step my way, and I retreat on reflex. Her expression turns to hurt. “Lil?” she says, and the single syllable of her voice cuts straight through me.
“How are you…?” My voice trails off as I look between the two of them. Violet is alive. Violet is alive, and they kept it from me. “I don’t understand.”
“I missed you.” Her eyes well with tears. As if that should answer the atom bomb of questions running through my head.
“You’re not real,” I whisper, and she laughs. The sound is light, airy, familiar, and it wraps around my heart like a noose, restricting me until I can’t breathe.
“I promise you I am.”
I bring two fingers to my wrist and pinch it. Oww. Okay, so not dreaming.
“Someone needs to explain to me what is going on right the hell now,” I say, my hands trembling.
The two of them share a look, and it only fuels the fury inside of me. I stumble, still feeling woozy from the sedative my brother’s partner gave me. Asshole.
Violet rushes forward, catching me in her arms. Her scent surrounds me, and I slowly raise my gaze to meet hers. Soft green eyes filled with moisture meet mine. Fuck, I missed her too. And she’s here. She’s right here. She’s alive.
For a moment, I allow myself to forget the anger.
The questions. The life-altering information I’ve just become privy too.
And I collapse into her arms, a loud sob escaping me.
She grasps me tight, her own whimpers matching mine.
We sit like that for what feels like hours.
Both of us afraid of what letting go would mean.
Afraid she’d simply disappear as quickly as she came.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers against my hair, rubbing my back. The way she’d always comfort me after a bad breakup or when I’d had a bit too much to drink.
I nod, no words escaping, because how can I accept her apology when I still have no goddamn clue what’s happening? When I don’t know if she deserves it?
Pulling away, I say, “I need an explanation.”
Violet clears her throat. “Last year, I was doing a job…”
“Vi,” Jackson says, and she cuts him off with a look.
“I’m doing this,” she says, then returns her attention to me. “I got into a little bit of a difficult situation and ended up getting a shit deal with the Westerfords.”
“What does that even mean?” I ask.
“I got in trouble with some dangerous people.” She swallows hard.
“What? Did you fall into the middle of an illegal art ring?” I scoff, and she and Jackson share a look. One of my earlier theories comes to mind. “How could it be that bad? I don’t understand.”
“Lil.” She takes my hands. “The details don’t matter.”
“Details are everything!” I rip out of her hold. “I thought you were dead!”
“I know,” she says, eyes dropping to the floor. “It was the only way.”
“What was?” I throw my hands in the air. “You’re not making any sense.”
“The deal I made with Jude… what I had to do in return required faking my death. I needed to remain anonymous. No one’s looking for a dead girl.”
I drag my hands through my hair, hoping it can ease my aching brain. “Why can’t you just leave?” I ask, and she glances at Jackson again. “Would you stop fucking looking at each other and having all these silent conversations? I’m. Right. Here!”
“Jude said if I ever left, he’d take you to replace me,” Violet admits, and I suck in a breath.
“Me?” I scoff. “Why me?”
The corner of her lip quirks upwards. “Do you really think no one in this city has figured out you’re Karma?”
My heart stops. She knows I’m Karma? He knows? “Jude knows?” She nods. “How long? How the hell does he know?” Memories of running into Jackson outside the masquerade party flash before me. My eyes meet his. “How do you know?”
“Liam told me earlier this year.” Liam?! Is no one trustworthy? “I was intrigued by the whole idea, and he was worried I’d go looking into it.”
“But you never said anything.”
He shrugs. “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”
Anger thrums through my veins. “Well, clearly my radar was right not to because you went and told Jude?!”
“He has eyes everywhere.” His face drains of color. “Then he asked me point blank a few months ago and told me if I lied, he’d put a bullet in your head. I couldn’t risk it.”
“So he knew the entire time,” I say, eyes wide. “Anything else I should know?”
“We…” Jackson shares a look with Violet. “We may have tricked Aster into thinking you were dead.”
“What?!” I shout. “Why the fuck would you do that? Do you even understand what you’ve done?” Aster is going to kill them. He’s going to kill all of them.
“We thought if we could get him to Jude’s… he might be able to take Violet’s place.”
“Place as what?!” Fury flows through me, and I shove Jackson. “You sold him out! He trusted you!”
“I was trying to protect Violet,” he argues. “Help her find a way out.”
“In exchange for Aster?” My voice cracks, eyes wandering to Violet’s, and I can’t express the overwhelming gratitude that she’s alive. But there’s an all-consuming ache at the thought of me getting her back at the expense of him. He said I’m the love of his life.
Turns out he’s mine.
“Screw you!” I shout at Jackson. “I understand, partially, all the theatrics and how dangerous Jude is. I understand you were trying to protect yourself,” I tell Violet. “But why not just go to the cops?”
“In case you haven’t been able to tell, the Westerfords own this city,” Violet says.
“Do they own you?” I ask, and neither of them deny it. “That’s what I thought.” I pace the room, sick of the runaround. “Stop the bullshit.” My eyes meet Violet’s. “What were you doing for Jude? What job did he need you to replace?”
“Last year…” Violet sighs. “I got a tip about a hitman in Cleosville… so I took him out.” I freeze in place, my skin buzzing.
“What do you mean you ‘took him out?’” I ask, using air quotes.
She gnaws on her lip. “I killed him.”
“You?” My jaw drops. “Little Miss ‘don’t step on the ants, they’re just bringing food home for their tiny little families?’ You killed a man?”
She nods. “Yes.”
“And so Jude made you…”
“Replace him.”
My mind is well and truly fucked. “Jude made you… become a hitman.”
Her and Jackson share a look. “Kind of.”
Pieces fall into place. “Which is why he wanted you to fake your death.” She nods. No one’s looking for a dead girl.
“This is insane.” I shake my head, the air in the room turning putrid and suffocating. I need fresh oxygen. Turning for the front door, Violet grabs my arm. “Wait.”
“What?” I ask exasperated. Exhausted. “I… I need some space.”
“Please, I wanted to tell you so many times, I tried, I just—”
The door bursts open, nearly off its hinges, and I turn to find a furious Aster flying through it, gun raised. He hates guns.
His eyes find mine, filling with relief, rage still simmering beneath the surface. He points his weapon past me, and I throw my hands in the air, stepping directly in his way. He lowers it instantly and says, “What the hell are you doing?”
“Don’t shoot,” I tell him.
“They kidnapped you!” Aster shouts, anguish etched in his features.
His eyes are wild, and by the dark circles under his eyes, I think he hasn’t slept in days.
“They faked your fucking death!” He rushes to me, using his free hand to touch me, squeezing my arm, as if checking I’m real.
I know the feeling. Then he nudges me behind him.
“I know,” I say, exasperated, clutching his arm. I struggle to find words to defend them, but I know I don’t want them dead. “They’re… Jude’s forcing them. They don’t have a choice.” The words feel ridiculous. I’m not even sure if I believe them myself.
“Well, Jude’s dead,” Aster says, and everyone in the room audibly gasps.
“What?” Jackson says. “How?”
“Bullet between the eyes,” Aster replies with a dangerous smile, and my stomach sinks. He broke his rule. For me? That’s a conversation for another time. One that’s going to be paired with a massive apology on my side.
“What does it mean?” Violet asks, turning to Jackson.