14. Violet
Violet
After hugs from Lyric, Mila, Monroe, and River, while the men all greeted one another and talked about the flights, Shaw announced that the women needed some girl time and shooed all the men away.
Everyone but Gian was ready to follow her command.
Instead, he made sure Monroe was comfortable on the terrace overlooking the west side of the island.
Once she was tucked in her lounger with a fruity drink in one hand and a snack within reach, he gently kissed her and reluctantly walked into the house.
Her wistful sigh as her eyes followed him until he was out of sight had her twin and sister-in-law rolling their eyes. “More than a decade of marriage, and it’s still impossible for the two of you to go five minutes without each other.”
“I fail to see why that’s a problem, Mil,” Monroe said as she glanced over at her sister.
Other than their shade of hair, Mila liked to keep hers dyed jet-black whereas Monroe kept hers its natural color, they were identical.
But they also had a third. Their brother, Maverick, who was married to River, was the eldest of the triplets. “You’re the same way with Lyric.”
“I can go a few hours without having him up my ass,” she grumbled. “It’s called not being codependent.”
“And I don’t care what you call it,” Monroe said with a shrug. “You love your husband your way, and I’ll love mine my way.”
“But I want some of your time too,” Mila pouted. “You’re my other half.”
“Ladies.” Shaw clapped her hands to refocus their attention. “We are not here to judge one another for having obsessive husbands. They are all equally hot and loving. Kudos to us all.”
River lifted her glass of rum punch to toast her agreement. “Hear, hear. No one cares that Gian is a crazy, obsessed stalker when it comes to our Mon. He loves and spoils her. She’s happy. Nothing else matters.”
“Speaking of crazy, where are Piper and Cannon?” Mila asked Shaw. “Did they not want to join us?”
“Jags invited them, but my brother’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day. Piper already had something planned just for the two of them.” Taking a sip of her drink, she turned her blue eyes on me. “Ladies, I want you to hear the stupidest thing I’ve ever been told in my life.”
“Shaw!” I cried, fresh tears burning my eyes. “Please don’t.”
“Tell us!” Mila encouraged.
“This one—” Shaw pointed her glass at me “—thinks she’s not sexy.”
All three of the other women gasped and started talking at once.
“Are you blind?” Mila.
“What the hell, you don’t own a mirror?” River.
“That’s absurd! You are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful, sexiest women I have ever met.” Monroe.
Cringing, I sank deeper into my chair.
Shaw held up her hand to quiet the others.
“With all the media following Luca’s retirement, a bunch of old fuckers have been dehumanizing with their rants.
And, of course, everyone on social media has their own bullshit to say.
Violet and I have lived with this stuff our entire lives because of our parents.
But this time, they finally got in Vi’s head. ”
“Because it’s the truth,” I whispered, turning my gaze out to the view of the ocean so I didn’t have to look at the pity on the others’ faces. “I have let myself go. I am a fat, ugly slob. They haven’t spoken a single lie. Those pictures speak for themselves.”
“Violet Hope!” Shaw snapped at me in outrage.
“Stop it, Shaw,” I hissed. “Just shut the fuck up. You don’t know what I’m going through right now.
You will never understand what any of this is like.
Your boobs don’t spill over the tops of your bra.
Your ass and thighs don’t have cellulite.
There isn’t a single ounce of excess weight on you.
You pushed out a baby, and the next day, your clothes fit again.
I haven’t been in a smaller size than a fourteen in years. ”
“Vi,” she said softly, reaching out a hand to me, but I didn’t want comfort. I wanted to vent.
“I know Luca doesn’t care what I look like. But I don’t find myself attractive. All I see is the excess skin and the rolls and imperfections. I hate it!”
Around me, the others had gone quiet. I covered my eyes with my hands, wanting to hide from them and the rest of the world.
From my right, I heard someone shifting, and then I felt a soft hand on my arm.
Blinking back my tears, I dropped my hand to find River sitting on the lounger in front of me.
Of all of them, she was the one I’d least expected to offer comfort.
I barely knew her. Mila was my sister-in-law and my friend.
Monroe was the sweet, understanding one.
But River had always been a little standoffish.
“I don’t understand a lot of what you are going through right now,” she said softly. “Honestly, I think you’re so beautiful, I can admit that I am a little insecure. But what I do understand is feeling like your body has betrayed you. I…”
Clearing her throat, she gave me a sad smile. “I had a miscarriage when I was eighteen. Afterward, it felt like it took forever for us to get pregnant again. I thought it was never going to happen for us.”
The anguish I heard in her voice hurt. I covered her hand still on my arm, trying to offer comfort.
She blinked a few times, fighting tears.
“When Rocco came along, I was so happy, and I wanted more babies. Maybe a daughter to be besties with Mila’s and Monroe’s girls like we are. But then…I had another miscarriage.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s not the same thing you’re going through, but what I’m trying to say is, I get that you feel like your body is letting you down.” She patted my arm. “You’re gorgeous, Violet. Right now, you can’t see that, because you let idiots get into your head.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Monroe sit forward. “What can we do?”
A lump filled my throat. “Thank you for wanting to help, but honestly, I don’t know how to get past this. Maybe I need to start seeing my therapist again. Or get a mommy makeover. I’m sure I can find a good plastic surgeon.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Shaw growled. Jumping to her feet, she stomped away without another word.
None of the others watched her go, but I sank a little deeper into my hoodie. She was going to go tell Luca. I knew she was. And then I’d have to spill all of my insecurities all over again.
“Vi.” Mila spoke up. “Having one baby is hard enough on a woman’s body. But having twins is a nightmare when it’s all over.”
Monroe nodded in agreement. She’d had a set of twins at the same time—the same freaking day—that Mila had birthed her sons. But her girls were the only kids Monroe had.
“You and I, we had two sets,” Mila continued. “And then with breastfeeding and work and just life in general, our bodies have been through the equivalent of war.”
Biting my lip, I had to admit that she was right.
“It took me a good six months after the boys were born before I felt sexy again,” Mila confessed. “But after the girls, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without crying. My stomach is all… And I’m not even going to talk about my ass. God, I used to love my ass.”
Despite the emotions churning inside me, I smiled at that.
“I’ve been on so many diets, I’ve lost count. I joined the gym, started exercise plans. But every time, Lyric gets all grumpy about it. He loves the extra everything. He keeps telling me he did this. It’s his. And he doesn’t want it to change.” Her gray eyes turned dreamy. “God, I love that man.”
“I-I know Luca would be the same way,” I explained. So would Jagger, but I couldn’t tell them that. Our guys were both too territorial of Shaw and me.
“You need to talk to him,” Mila advised.
“I know,” I agreed. “And I have a feeling he won’t let me stay quiet any longer.”
None of them would.