XOXO

6. Levi

Living in deluluville and it wasn’t because of my blond hair.

The last few days at work felt like the longest days I’d ever worked.

My date with Vi was one of the best dates I had had...

maybe ever? While I was planning it, I was afraid she would have thought it was cheesy or stupid except she was just as enamored with the library as I had been when I had first seen it.

Our conversation never lagged. She was funny, witty and fucking gorgeous.

On my way to her, I braced for a shitty date, but here I was a few days later already looking forward to seeing her again.

I opened Rendezvous, clicked on our chat again like I had so many times, wondering if it was too soon to ask her on another date.

I finally got the nerve to message her and she agreed to see me again.

My excitement was barely containable as I got ready in something a little dressier than the last time. I pulled on some grey slacks, a white button-down and a grey vest.

“Hey, Levi, pizza or steak frites?” Matteo yelled from his room.

A little guilt rose in me at not telling him about my date, but I took a deep breath telling myself that this was necessary. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done the same to me before.

“Sorry, I have a date,” I yelled, putting a tie up to my neck, trying to decide if I really needed it.

“Another date? I thought we said we were staying in tonight?”

I jumped at Matteo’s voice. “Bloody hell, dude. Scared the crap out of me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he scowled.

He had been scowling a lot more over the past few days, upset over the tiniest things. It was almost like he might have been mad at me for dating.

“Yeah, sorry, another date,” I said, looking back at my ties. “Can I get a raincheck?”

“Same girl or another one?”

“Same girl. I like Vi,” I said, feeling like I had to defend her.

“Black, too much grey,” he said, walking towards my closet.

He came back out lifting my collar and helping me with my tie. I was never good at it, always doing the basic knot, but Matteo was a master at ties. He knew all the best ones and always elevated my look.

“You know sometimes people on Rendezvous are looking for fun for the night,” he said, as I lost track of how he was tying the tie.

“I know. I see what it’s used for. I’m not na?ve,” I said, biting back the retort I really wanted to say.

Matteo always thought I was so innocent and handled me with kid gloves, like I didn’t know the cruelty of today’s world.

“She left without saying goodbye last time,” he said, straightening my collar, smoothing out my vest.

I tried not to notice how close we were standing or how much he was touching me. Matteo had always been like this and it was one reason I could never move past this crush I had for him. He made it so fucking hard.

“She left a note,” I said, keeping my voice nonchalant.

Her note was very impersonal with her signing it XOXO except I would not say shit to Matteo. It was like he had taken an interest in my love life suddenly, making it seem like nothing would be good enough.

“What did she say? Thanks for a great fuck?” Matteo rolled his eyes. “Do you know enough about her?”

“Do you ever know enough about the women you sleep with?” I snapped, wondering what the hell was going on.

He opened his mouth, scowled and closed it, knowing he couldn’t say shit to me.

“Look, I appreciate the worry, but I am a big boy,” I said, stepping away from him. “If Vi only wants to have fun, I can handle that, it's not like I’m looking to get married and settle down.”

Matteo’s intense stare usually held me captive, but today something felt off.

Things had been feeling off for months and I thought I was the reason for it.

Pulling away from Matteo felt like a stab to the heart, and even though it strained our relationship, I was afraid what would happen to me if I didn’t.

“I know you can handle yourself,” he said confidently. “It’s just dating now is so much—”

“I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine,” I said, needing to get out of here, the distance I was creating was killing me. “I’ll see you later, ok?”

I clapped his shoulder while grabbing my wallet.

“Don’t forget cologne,” he said, grabbing my favorite one. “If you need me I’ll be here.”

He smiled mutedly, nothing like the big carefree smiles he always gave me.

“Thanks, have fun having the condo to yourself,” I said, leaving before I took pity on him and stayed.

It would be so easy to stay, spend some much needed time with him, but I couldn’t. I had already lost so many years being in love with him and if I didn’t choose myself now, I never would.

“Levi, this was amazing.” Vi leaned back rubbing her stomach.

“I’m impressed you ate so much,” I said, leaning my forearms on the table, admiring her.

Vi was such a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed her company so much and I know it was only the second time we had met up, but things felt different with her.

“How could I not? This Japanese and French fusion was unbelievable,” she sighed. “The best meal I’ve had…ever.”

“Good, you said you love Japanese food so I was hoping this would be a hit.” I grabbed my Sapporo, finishing it.

“I love that you remember small details,” she said softly. “You’re kind of amazing. I’m honestly wondering why you are single?”

I shrugged, not loving where this question was going. “I’ve prioritized work a lot the past few years. I travel a lot. Before that, it was school and I figured someone would come along when the time was right.”

The lie I made up felt disgusting, but if I told her I was in love with my best friend, I didn’t think that would go over well.

“I think you’re right, sometimes it’s about being at the right place at the right time,” she said, as she looked lost in thought. “Things happen for a reason, right?”

“I’d like to think so,” I said, studying her, wondering what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.

She shook her head, looking at me with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Sorry, apparently after amazing food, I contemplate the meaning of life,” she chuckled, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

“I love a good talk about the meaning of life,” I smiled, hoping to ease her embarrassment.

“Now is not the time, we’ve just had the most amazing food and the present company is fucking fantastic,” she grinned, drinking the last of her beer.

I tried not to blush from her praise, but it was hard not to admire how beautiful she was and how she was making me feel.

“Ok, but I’m always willing to go down the rabbit hole,” I grinned. “Are you ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah, what else do you have planned?” she asked as I got up, holding my hand out to her.

“Wait, don't we have to pay?” she asked, looking around.

“If we hurry they won't notice we are gone,” I whispered.

Vi’s big eyes looked around in alarm. “Levi, we can’t—”

I chuckled, unable to keep up the ruse. “Relax, they have my card on file.”

“Oh my god, you are bad,” she said, shaking her head as she got up.

“I couldn’t help myself.” I grabbed her hand as the chef from the restaurant came by with a bag.

“Mr. Burgos, it was a pleasure serving you again,” Haruo said, bowing.

“It was delicious as always.” I bowed back, seeing Vi do the same.

Vi said something in Japanese and Haruo's eyes widened. He talked animatedly as Vi did the same even though it was clear she was struggling a little, but she sounded amazing.

“She’s a keeper,” Haruo said, looking at Vi with hearts in his eyes.

I chuckled, thinking the same thing as Vi blushed again.

“I’ll try my best,” I said, grabbing Vi’s hand. “Thanks again for a great meal.”

“Bring her back soon,” he said, waving as we left.

Vi waved back, following me out of the building.

“So, now you have to come back with me,” I grinned, glancing at her.

Her cheeks were still rosy pink, looking up at me seriously. She bit her lip, looking around before looking at me.

“Are you ok?” I asked, wondering if I was coming off too strong.

“Look, I’m sorry,” she said softly. “This can’t be anything more than a right now kind of situation. I don’t even live here, I’m traveling through Europe.”

I knew she didn’t live in Paris, but technically neither did I, but long distance wasn’t a hard no from me. I guess it didn’t matter since she was just vacationing.

“I thought we’d just have fun.” She bit her lip. “And then we’d go on our merry way.”

“Wait, then why did you answer serious on your profile on Rendezvous?”

“I didn't, I put casual,” she said, pulling her phone out, opening her app and showing me.

“I have serious on my profile,” I stated, keeping the disappointment out of my tone. “Maybe it was a crazy glitch.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, Levi,” she said, placing her hand on my bicep. “I should have said no to tonight. I liked your company, and it was nice to go out with someone who wasn’t a complete douchebag who was foaming at the mouth to get me into bed.”

I chuckled against my will as she looked up with her hazel eyes full of remorse.

“It’s fine,” I said, pulling her in for a hug. “I’ve had fun with you too and I don’t regret asking you out again. I guess I never asked where you lived, I just assumed you lived on this side of the pond.”

“I wish. I honestly thought you would know I was from the United States. I feel like I have a sign everywhere I go that says ‘American here!’” she sighed.

“I knew you were American, but I don’t know,” I said, feeling stupid that I assumed she lived in Europe. “You sound and feel European.”

I shrugged, wishing this embarrassment would go away.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She snuggled closer to me, sighing, making my stomach swoop with butterflies and for a second I was sad that she wasn’t looking for something more.

“You should,” I said, kissing her head.

“I can pay you back for dinner.” She pulled back, peering up with those pretty hazel eyes.

I scowled, offended she would even suggest that.

“Okay?” she laughed. “I won’t pay you back, but I do feel bad.”

“Don’t be, like I said, I don’t regret asking you out again,” I said, grabbing her hand. “I have something else planned if you want to go, it's kind of romantic.”

My cheeks heated from her grin. “Levi, you are going to make someone very happy.”

“How about we go and finish that movie we started,” she suggested. “I’ve kind of been wondering how that ends.”

“That sounds great,” I said, happy to do whatever if the night didn’t end.

“What’s in the bag?” Vi asked as we walked back to my condo.

“Some desserts and a bottle of champagne I wanted to share with you in front of the Eiffel Tower,” I said, as my cheeks heated with embarrassment.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” she said, giving my hand a squeeze. “If you like we can go to the Eiffel Tower.”

I shook my head. “A picnic in my room sounds a lot better.”

Vi embraced my arm, leaning her head against my shoulder as we walked in silence. I liked her like this, affectionate and touchy-feely.

The ride up to the condo wasn’t awkward. I basked in her presence feeling like this might be the last time I was able to. Vi kissed my shoulder softly, and I turned to look at her. I wanted one more kiss as I glanced at her berry lips, I knew it was now or never.

Our lips touched when the elevator dinged and I wanted to groan at the inconvenience. I led her down the hall, pulling out my keys to open the door when Vi kissed my jaw as I slid the key in. She kissed closer to my mouth and as I opened the door, I captured her lips in a soft kiss.

She moaned, granting me access to swipe my tongue against her own. I opened the door needing to lead her into my room because I wanted more even if all we did was kiss. She followed me as I walked backwards, never breaking the kiss, afraid that if we stopped, she’d come to her senses and leave.

Someone cleared their throat and I jerked back.

Matteo was with a beautiful woman seated on the sofa. They stared at us while we did the same, the silence awkward and thick with tension.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you would be home,” I said, as my surprise went away.

“Well, we had plans to stay in and I didn’t really want to leave the condo,” Matteo said, glancing at Vi.

“Sorry,” I said, feeling guilty all over again.

I felt Vi looking at me and then looking at Matteo like she was trying to figure something out. Did she feel the tension too?

“We were just going to watch a movie.”

“I think I should go.”

Matteo and Vi spoke at the same time.

“I thought—”

“I think I should go,” Violet said, interrupting me.

I wanted to say something, but with Matteo and this woman in front of us, it felt weird.

“The offer still stands,” I said, holding the bag up.

She gave me a small smile. “Enjoy it. I should get going.”

Vi waved at Matteo and his date, who didn’t even have the decency to say or do anything back.

“Please take it,” I said, as I walked her to the door. “It’s a great dessert and a great bottle of wine.”

“No, you—”

“Take it please,” I said, giving her the bag. “Something to remember me by.”

She fidgeted with the handle of the bag. “I had a great time with you and I don’t think I’ll ever forget you. Maybe if I can, I’ll make a stop in Paris before I go back home.”

“That would be great,” I said. “Message me on Rendezvous and we can have a friendly meet-up.

She leaned up kissing me softly, ending it just as quickly.

“Bye, Levi,” she smiled. “Thanks for everything.”

“Bye, Vi,” I said, hating she was leaving and feeling like I was missing out on something great.

Reluctantly I closed the door taking a deep breath as I turned around to go to my room and maybe wallow for a minute.

Matteo and the woman he was with were walking towards the front door speaking in Italian very quickly.

My Italian was decent, but when Matteo talked like that, I had a hard time keeping up.

I walked past them ready for the night to be over, but apparently I hadn’t suffered enough.

“Levi,” Matteo called out to me before I walked down the hall toward my room.

I took a deep breath, turning around. “Yeah?”

“You ok?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” I said, getting annoyed.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you guys were coming back so soon or else we would have headed—”

“It’s ok, probably for the best anyways,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “She’s leaving Paris, on to the next city on her vacation.”

“European vacation?”

“Yeah, or at least I think she is,” I said, needing this conversation to end. “We didn’t talk about the details, just that she didn’t live here and she wanted to keep thing light.”

“I’m sorry,” he said with remorse in his tone. “I have macarons in the fridge and I’ll make us espresso martinis and we can watch that new movie you’ve been wanting to watch.”

Matteo didn’t look like his confident self. He was fidgeting looking at me with those brown eyes like a sad puppy dog.

“Ok, let me go and change,” I said, turning to go to my room.

I needed some comfort and for one night I’d let this space disappear. I missed my best friend.