Chapter 17
ARAVIND
I could have done this for the rest of my life. The week stretched out, long lazy days by the pool or walking the beach. Going shopping because Tiago had forgotten half the important things he needed—like a full tube of toothpaste and deodorant.
We had meals, which he mostly cooked because he was better than me, and he even managed to follow my auntie’s recipe for saag paneer, which we found ingredients for at a boujee little boutique grocery store not too far from the ferry station.
He did this happy little wiggle every time he got something right, and the first time I complimented his rice, he dropped to his knees and sucked my dick until I nearly cried.
“If that’s what good rice does to white people,” I gasped, “remind me to teach you how to make a proper paratha.”
He shut me up with a possessive kiss. And I filed that away for later.
It wasn’t worth it to dwell on what we weren’t.
We existed in a bubble away from the rest of the world, occasionally infiltrated by his family’s need to get his attention.
It felt a bit like they were trying to flaunt how close and together they were, as some sort of punishing reminder that he was nothing more than the shame-baby his mother had cursed the family with.
But Tiago either didn’t care, or he was an expert at not showing it.
And I did my level best to make sure that I buffered him from any of that pain.
For every sharp word, I would layer him with kisses.
For every moment he lost his words, that night I would make him lose them again for very, very different reasons.
And it was nice.
It terrified me because while I had been gutted after my relationship with Leon fell apart, it wasn’t because I was going to miss him.
Or that I really loved him. It was more an acknowledgment that my pride had been stomped into little bits because somehow, I’d given him the power to fucking humiliate me.
But I didn’t think handing power to Tiago would end the same way. Even if this didn’t become anything real.
“Your hair is very long,” Tiago murmured as we lay on the beach.
It was near dusk, and the stars were starting to come out. I had my camera set up to take some timed shots because out here without streetlights, I could see the arm of our galaxy.
Tiago was curled up against me, playing with my hair, which I had finally let down. His fingers were tender and careful as they toyed with each lock, tracing the length from my scalp to the ends.
“I don’t like to cut it,” I told him. “My parents used to make me when I was little, and I would cry until I threw up.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
I hated that he apologized for everything all the time, even if it was more often than not meant in sympathy.
“When I was in middle school, they finally quit fighting me about it. They said as long as I learned to take care of it, they wouldn’t make me cut it anymore.
It became kind of an obsession of mine.” By high school, I had several dozen silk bonnets and an entire array of products to keep my soft half waves in order.
Most of my spending money had gone to indulging in what made me feel good, and I had no regrets about it. For as rich as we were, my parents didn’t freely give me cash to do things like movies and shopping with my friends, so I sacrificed a lot on myself.
And maybe if I’d had better, more understanding friends, I would have made different choices.
But most of them were long gone, and I still remained.
“It was one of the first things I noticed about you,” he said softly.
He toyed with the baby hairs on the back of my neck that never seemed to get any longer.
“It was all up in a bun and kind of messy. There were pieces that had fallen around your face and…” He went quiet, and I didn’t ask him to finish his sentence.
Instead, I turned into him and kissed him, slow and soft, keeping the same rhythm of the waves that were lapping at the shore.
“We should build a fire,” he said. “And maybe we can play out here.”
“I’m assuming you don’t mean sandcastles,” I whispered. My dick was already getting on board, thickening in my shorts.
He laughed and kissed me again. “I don’t mean sandcastles this time.”
Groaning, I reached down and cupped him, and oh, he was hard too.
“Okay. Start digging a pit, and I’m going to run up to the house for some wood and kindling.
” There were a couple of beach fire kits in the deck storage container.
“When I get back, I’m going to suck your dick, but I’m not going to let you come. ”
He grunted softly. “Oh.”
“I’m going to make you so fucking desperate for it, and maybe—after we shower and get into bed, if you’re very, very good for me—I’ll let you jerk off on my panty-covered dick.”
“Fuck,” he gasped. He kissed me again, rocking his erection against my thigh. “Aravind.”
The way he said my name like a fucking psalm was going to stick in my head for the rest of my life. No one would ever measure up. How could they?
“Be right back,” I whispered.
It took real effort to pull away from him, and each step in the sand felt heavier and heavier. But the time it took to get everything would be worth it. He was worth it. And I was starting to think that maybe I should tell him that.
Maybe I should let him know that, pretend or not, this was starting to mean something and…and god. Maybe we could talk about it.
My breath hitched as I made my way up the hill and across the pool deck, and I was just reaching for the lid to the storage container when I saw movement in the house.
Panic dashed up my spine, but before I could do something wild, like rush into the kitchen and grab a knife, the porch light flickered on, and a familiar face appeared in the window.
Soma looked the same as she had last year—her hair in a tight braid down her back, her eyes bright, smile even brighter. She was in loose blue linen pants and a matching top, and the fabric fluttered in the breeze when she threw the door open and flung herself into my arms.
“Oh my god, look at you! You’re so thin,” she immediately started bitching. “I swear you’ve been starving yourself. I told your dad you needed a meal service, and of course he didn’t listen. He’s so American now…”
“Auntie.” She gave me the look for interrupting her. Leaning in, I kissed her cheek. “We’ve been cooking all week.”
“We?” she asked and shook her head. “That hockey player your dad said you brought home? The blind one, right? Where is he?”
Oh, fuck. He was on the beach, horny as hell, waiting for me to come down there and edge his dick and balls with my mouth until he was crying. This was an unexpected development.
“You’re early,” I told her. “Is Ankita with you?”
“Yes. She’s getting our bags. We brought someone with us.”
Oh, good. More aunties. “Okay…?”
“Her name is Manisha. We met in Toronto last year. Her son is playing on your dad’s team.
I don’t know if you know him. He’s a goalie,” she babbled, tugging me back into the house.
Fuck. I needed to get back to Tiago before all hell broke loose.
Or before he came back here with his dick out, looking for me.
But then I realized what she was saying, and I froze.
“Wait. Ferris’s mom?”
Soma looked back at me. “Yes. I’m glad you know him.
Your dad invited him and his husband to come stay with us too.
They’ll be here on Wednesday. They’re planning a big wedding—a Pakistani wedding, which you know is just like our type of wedding,” she babbled as she began to unpack a massive cloth cooler full of plastic containers.
I didn’t need to ask what they were.
“The wedding’s becoming a big deal because people know his husband.
Maybe you’ve met him? He used to play hockey too.
Very pretty for a white boy. They’re looking for something private, so your dad suggested out here, of course.
It won’t be big enough for the entire family, but there are places for them to rent, and oh! Manisha!”
An unfamiliar woman walked into the room. She was dressed in a yellow sari, and her hair was halfway falling out of her braid. And she looked a lot like Ferris.
“Come meet Aravind. Rohan’s son. He knows all about hockey players. He was born after Rohan got drafted,” Soma said.
Well, I supposed that if Tiago was going to give me any sort of real chance at a relationship, it was probably good he got thrown into the deep end. The last week had been the exception, not the rule.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I told her, extending my hand.
She tugged me in, kissing my cheek. “You’re very sweet. Ferris told me all about you. He was very excited to be playing under your dad.”
I smiled, which was probably more like a grimace because I really didn’t want to talk about hockey while we were here. But also, it was inevitable. “Ferris is amazing. He crocheted me this adorable elephant seal. I have it on my nightstand.”
Manisha immediately went soft all over. I could see it in her eyes she was waiting for me to say something about her son being weird. I got it. More than anyone. And it was probably why my dad liked her so much.
They could relate on that level.
“He’s a little nervous about coming out with us, but when I told him you’d be here, he felt better.”
It was going to be a tight squeeze. Everyone was going to be up each other’s asses, which was something I was used to, but Tiago…
“So, I kind of left my friend on the beach,” I told Manisha and Soma. “I’m going to grab him.” I started to turn, then froze. “Also, he’s blind. Not…not totally, but he doesn’t have a lot of vision left, so can we be super careful about leaving stuff on the counters and out around the floor?”
Soma’s eyes went wide. “Do you think we’re monsters, beta?”