29. Teddy
TWENTY-NINE
TEDDY
Only about twenty very enthusiastic people visit the library on our first afternoon, and most of them spend the majority of their time playing with Kevin. Apparently, a dog of his size is unusual around these parts. “Good-sized meal for a decent-sized bird,” George had said, squinting up at the sky.
Nellie is in her element. She has helped several of Midge’s grandkids find books highlighting their favorite hobbies, including a taxidermy for dummies book for Devon. He insisted he wasn’t a dummy, but once he opened the book, we’d lost him for the remainder of the day.
“How long can we have a book for?” one of Midge’s grandkids asks me.
“Oh, um,” I stammer, looking around for Nellie who had just been rearranging some books on the one carousel. “Just let me—” I hold up a finger and head towards the Airstream.
Nellie is bent at the waist, rooting through a crate of books, and it stops me in my tracks. It hasn’t been lost on me how the dark denim of her jeans hugs every curve from her waist down, but in this position it freezes me, even my breathing seems to have halted. I shamelessly watch as she shifts her weight and pops a hip before peeking back at me.
“Can I help you, Teddy?”
What I want to say is, “Yes, but you’ll have to remove my pants because I can’t seem to move at the minute. Then maybe we can just bang it out, and maybe, just maybe, this unbearable need I feel every time I look at you will ease a bit.” The skin on my palms almost begins to itch with the need to feel that ass in my hands again, like in her car and all those years ago in the pool. A sensory memory that has never faded.
I finally manage to swallow and clear my throat, “Uh, one of the kids was asking about borrowing time for the books.”
Nellie straightens and slowly turns towards me. “Seven days, although unlike a regular library, we don’t have cards to track or fines for being late. I asked about maybe doing a temporary card system, but that would have been too expensive. And this was already a gamble with the cost of the Airstream and me being gone for so long. Anyway, you asked a simple question, and that was a diatribe. Seven days is the official time.” She looks nervous suddenly. She used to look like that when she’d get lost in a thought. Telling me about a bird or some fact she’d read about. I’m not turned on so much now but I seem to be lost in my astonishment.
She’s so similar to how she was before. The way she holds eye contact with me and the slight tilt of her head. I’m still stuck in place when her face crinkles in concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, no, totally fine, maybe just a bit tired.”
She nods in understanding. “You’ll definitely sleep better in the bunkie.” She turns back to the crate and grabs a few books before moving towards me, or the door.
“Oh no, you can have the bunkie, I’m fine in the truck.”
She stops in front of me, her eyes nearly at the same height as mine as I remain a couple of steps down. “Teddy, I could practically hear the truck rocking last night while you tossed and turned. And unless you had a surprise guest, I’m guessing it wasn’t because you were sleeping well.”
“Okay, so the truck isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but I can’t imagine that two-inch mattress is much better,” I say, pointing up at the just visible flip-down bed.
Nellie’s eyes follow my hand. “No, but my whole body fits on it so I can stretch out.”
“I’m also not leaving you out here alone while I go to wherever the hell this bunkie is.”
“I don’t need your protection, Teddy.” Nellie’s expression has turned stormy. I know she’s about to give me a lecture on how just because she’s a woman that doesn’t mean she needs some man to watch out for her.
“I know you don’t need protection, Nellie,” I cut in. “You’re very capable. I just know that no mattress is going to help me sleep better if you’re not nearby. Maybe it’s me that needs protection, ever think of that?”
Nellie gives me a very long, slow, deliberate once-over before stepping even closer. I can smell the lake on her mingling with her soap. Her breath tickles my ear as she says, “It’s me you’d need protection from, Teddy.”
I’m left wondering what the hell that means as she pushes past me and back outside. I don’t know how she made it sound like a threat and a proposition. And I don’t know how the hell I’m even more turned on now with the thought of it being both. Prying my feet from where they have been stuck to the steps, I close myself in the tiny bathroom just to collect myself.
When my mind and body have calmed down enough for me to leave the trailer, I find Nellie chatting animatedly to a guy only slightly taller than her. Part of my brain tells me to stomp over there, punch the guy, and carry her away. Clearly the less evolved part of my brain. The other part wants me to let things go because Nellie can do whatever she wants, which includes talking to and flirting with whomever she likes.
“Dad!” I hear Devon call out, and I look up to see the guy squat down as Devon approaches with a book. The guy looks up at Nellie and smiles, and I watch as she lowers herself to join in on the show and tell. She doesn’t want kids , I remind myself. But she had admitted that to me at twenty; my brother changed his mind at thirty. People change their minds.
“He’s a flirt, just like his dad,” Midge says, making me jump halfway out of my skin.
“Sorry?”
“My son.” She nods towards the guy. “Only one of my boys who’s single, but that’s his own doing.”
“Because he’s a flirt?” I force myself to look down at her.
“That, and he let his wife leave. Didn’t fight for her.”
“Maybe she didn’t want to be fought for,” I suggest, looking back at Nellie who is laughing at something Devon is animatedly describing.
Midge is quiet for a minute, and when I look back she’s studying me. “Hmm.” She narrows her eyes. “You’re not together.”
“Nope.”
“But you want to be together.”
“Nope.” I shake my head.
“Liar.” She smirks up at me. “But then again, you are a man, so it’s a habit.”
“I’m not lying.”
She studies me some more before shaking her head. “Then you’re a dumbass.”
“Wow.” I can’t help but laugh. “I don’t know what’s worse.”
“If you’re lying about wanting to be together, there’s a reason. If you really think you don’t want to be together, then, Mr. Wiener Handler, that’s all you’re ever going to be, a wiener handler. You can take that however you’d like to.”
She walks away from me to join the remaining grandchildren gathered on the rug, fawning over Kevin.
Instead of trying to figure out how I’ve just been insulted, I begin to take some pictures of the setup, careful not to get any faces in the images. Kevin’s nose poking under a thigh and then over a shoulder, through a fan of hair. Nellie crouched down, laughing with a kid and his flirtatious father. A moose wandering across the road towards us. Holy shit.
“Um, Midge,” I whisper as loudly as possible. “A moose is heading our way.”
Midge stands quickly and looks towards the road. I watch in awe as she squares her shoulders and marches towards the giant creature. “Now, Morticia, we’ve talked about this. You stay on that side of the road until the people are gone, missy.” Midge is still heading towards the moose, and she’s got her finger out wagging away. She appears to be lecturing the lumbering animal. “I know you’re starved for attention, but you’ll simply have to wait.” She stops at the edge of the road and plants her hands on her hips. The moose, to her credit, has stopped halfway and seems to be weighing her options. She’s massive, and honestly it seems likely that if she wanted, any option at all is open for the taking. But after a few seconds of deliberation, she seems to decide with a great sigh to turn around and head back into the woods she came from.
Midge watches her disappear into the bush until no sign of her remains before turning and heading back towards us. “That’s our cue to head home, troop,” she hollers. “Let’s help Nellie and Teddy get things cleaned up, and we can lead them back to the homestead.”
“Staying in the bunkie, eh?” I hear Midge’s son say.
“Well, Teddy is. I’ll be back here.” She points at the trailer, and I watch in horror as a slow smile creeps along the guy’s lips. People look at me and think I’m the kind of guy who has gotten into my share of brawls, but the truth is I’ve never actually thrown a punch that wasn’t at Will. I’m the kind of guy who would walk towards a prospective fight and have to repeat, “Your thumb stays on the outside of your fist” the entire time.
“If you want any company, just say the word.” I overhear him say, and I cannot contain the disgust I feel that he just said that to her in front of his kid.
“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” Nellie smiles at him as she walks away, her hips swaying more than usual. The guy with no boundaries watches her walk away, his eyes glued to her ass, his tongue clenched between his teeth.
When I turn my attention to Nellie, it’s obvious by her expression that the tone and way she’s walking away is not conveying how she feels. Her jaw is clenched tight and her brow is furrowed as if she’s holding herself back from letting the guy know how she really feels.
Twelve years ago, Nellie lied to me about having a boyfriend to avoid being hit on. Today, she could have easily used me as an excuse and didn’t, despite being visibly uncomfortable. If she thinks for one second that I’m sleeping farther from her than I have to be, she’s in for a rude awakening.