40. Nellie
FORTY
NELLIE
After Teddy does a sweep of the yard to ensure there are no children with snakes ready to jump out at me, we head to the lake.
Teddy sits behind me with his arms wrapped around my body while Kevin gnaws on a stick that’s far too large for him.
It’s the first time we’ve been like this with one another since our reunion. It feels like before, when the reality of just being together was enough.
Sighing, I lean back into his embrace. “This is nice.”
“It is,” Teddy says quietly, tightening his hold ever so slightly and dropping a kiss to the top of my head.
There’s a splash from somewhere at the end of the lake, and we both lean forward trying to see what made it. Kevin, who most definitely has better eyesight, starts barking aggressively. Or as aggressively as an eight-month-old puppy can manage.
“Our protector.” I laugh, reaching over to grab the dog. “See anything?” I look over my shoulder to see Teddy still focused on the distance .
“It’s either a moose or a bear,” he says. “Definitely not a giant snake.”
I jab him with my elbow. “Not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” he murmurs into my neck, no longer concerned with what made the noise. “It wasn’t even alive.”
“Being chased with a dead snake doesn’t make it better,” I insist. “That kid is so weird. Not a bad thing. I mean, weird kids make awesome adults. But he’s unnervingly obsessed with dead things.”
“We need those people, though,” Teddy replies thoughtfully. “Everything dies eventually. It’s good to have people who care about that part of it. And look at it this way: he’s not creating the dead things.”
“That’s true. I guess if he was obsessed with that part of it, we’d have a reason to be worried.”
“There ya go.” His lips glide over the exposed skin of my neck, and I feel myself relax against him more. “So, I was thinking.”
“Dangerous.”
I feel his breath replace his lips, humoring me with the smallest laugh. “When we get home…” I tense at the word “home.” No more bunkie sleepovers or early morning swims. I’ve managed to forget that this isn’t my real life.
“Hey,” Teddy says softly, scooting around so we’re facing each other. He distracts Kevin with a stick and then picks up my hands. “Don’t freak out.”
“I’m not,” I squeak, giving away the fact that yes I am indeed starting to freak out. “Okay, maybe I am a little bit.”
“Why?”
“Because home is real life. This place is”—I look around and take a deep breath—“a fantasy.”
“Your fantasy involves twin beds in a one-room hut?” Teddy’s eyebrows arch comically high .
“No, but this place feels like a vacation.”
He looks down at our hands. “So am I just some guy you had a vacation fling with?”
I’m shaking my head before I even know what I’m going to say. “You’ve never been a fling, Teddy,” I say so quietly, at first I don’t think he hears me.
“When we get home,” he starts again, “we are going to try this thing for real. You and me. No meddling townsfolk or meandering moose. Just Nellie and Teddy going for dinner or a movie. Just us finding each other again.”
“We can’t go back, Teddy.”
“I know,” he says with a sad smile. “But going back was never part of my plan. Once upon a time, I fell for this library science student named Nellie. She had wild auburn hair that she always got her glasses stuck in. She loved books and birds and drove me wild. One day a shadow darkened my world, and not even Nellie’s light could lead me out of the darkness. Then many years later, back in the world of light, I fell for a librarian named Nellie. She has wild auburn hair that she always gets her glasses stuck in. She loves books and birds and driving me fucking wild.”
My face is probably as red as a tomato. “You should be a writer,” I tease.
“I really should be. I didn’t follow my true calling of writing very basic and repetitive fairy tales about the woman I’m in love with.”
“It’s too soon,” I whisper.
“It’s too damn late,” he says with conviction. “At twenty-two, I was too dumb to recognize what it was. I thought it was infatuation or basic feelings. Nellie, it turns out I have felt those things for other people.” I hate those people. “But I’ve never felt what I feel for you. It came back to life in December, this constant reminder of who you were. ”
“And who am I?” I ask, my voice somehow not giving away the nervous excitement bubbling away in my brain.
I watch those pale blue eyes search mine and I know exactly what he’s about to say. “Mine,” Teddy whispers back. It’s not a possessive mine or an expression of ownership. Probably because I feel the same about him. Like he has been mine since the start.
We both reach for the other’s faces at the same time, and a nervous laugh bubbles out of me as he wipes a tear from my cheek because I was about to do the same to him.
“On a scale of one to ten, how corny was that?” he asks.
I pretend to think about it, hemming and hawing until he gives me an exasperated look. “About a nine. But I like corny so feel free to be as corny as you want when it comes to telling me how you feel.”
“So you’re up for trying?”
“Very much so.” I manage to say before his lips crash into mine. I’ve never kissed someone I’ve decided is mine, and it turns out that it’s a pretty spectacular experience. Five stars, would recommend.
Teddy pulls me into his lap, and it doesn’t take long for his back to hit the rock beneath us. I chase his mouth with my own and give over to every instinct in me. His hands grip my hips and pull me so hard against him that he breaks the kiss, gasping for air, his pupils blown wide as I establish a rhythm.
It’s getting dark, and I know we are very alone out here, so I do something I have wanted to do since the day we were caught hugging. I reach between us and undo his shorts. Teddy catches on quickly and does the same with mine. Seconds later and after some slightly creative maneuvering, I’m sinking torturously slowly down onto him. When I’m fully seated, I hold still and watch him try to stay in control. Bending down I kiss him slowly, our moans trapped between us. When I give my hips the smallest swivel, Teddy’s head drops back, his mouth open in a silent moan.
When his gaze meets mine again, I smile down. “Mine,” I say and watch as his eyes darken ever so slightly.
His grip goes from feather light to bruising and I love it. I want his fingerprints seared into my skin. I want to feel them for days so that when I get home I can remember this wasn’t all a fever dream. My head tips back, and his left hand reaches under my shirt to pull me free from my bra. I’m almost too sensitive as he tweaks and pinches. He shifts beneath me, and his hand goes to the back of my neck.
“Look at me.” His warm breath hits my throat and the added sensation makes me shudder.
He’s sitting up now, his arm like a vice around my hips while his other hand maintains a light grip on my neck. “Hey there, pretty girl,” he purrs when our eyes meet. “This feels like a dream.”
“A good one?” I ask, the tension building to an impossible height.
“The best,” he exhales against my lips right before he kisses me.
“So close,” I murmur against his lips.
I’m only vaguely aware of his hand moving down my body, but when his thumb connects with me, I feel every part of me come alive. Every tiny hair stands on end, every single cell is engaged as pleasure detonates within me.
“So beautiful,” he rasps, burying his face into my chest and letting out a strangled cry.
“Betty and Joshua have a lake not far from their place,” Teddy says as we head back to the bunkie, batting mosquitos the whole way.
I look down at where our hands are connected and lean into him. “You should have mentioned that earlier. I would have said yes immediately.”
“That felt like cheating. I wanted you to want to stay for me, not the lake.”
“Can’t I have both?” I look up at him, and I’m greeted by that serene smile I haven’t seen in years.
“You can have everything you want,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss me.
Kevin is trotting in front of us, his little tail wagging away. “Do you think we’ve traumatized him?” I bite my lip with worry.
“He chewed on that stick the whole time. I don’t think he knew anything was going on,” Teddy reassures me.
I head to the bathroom when we get back to get ready for bed. Halfway through brushing my teeth, my phone lights up with a text from Teddy.
Teddy
DON’T LEAVE THE BATHROOM
I smile down, thinking he’s about to come in and ravish me in here too. The counter is the perfect height for bending me over, or sitting me on and—
Morticia is in a standoff with a bear right outside the bathroom.
The fire that had started to reignite turns to ice. I look at the door that now seems a bit too flimsy, and try to figure out what to do if a bear or a moose decide to use the bathroom as an escape route .
“How did she die?”
“Oh, she was run over by a moose in a bathroom of all places.”
“Shame.”
At least my death, while tragic, will be kind of funny. I decide to huddle on the floor of the shower. The walls in here seem a bit more reinforced.
George is getting his gun.
No, don’t kill them!
I don’t think he’s planning on shooting at them, just near them, to scare them off.
Okay, good.
You okay?
I’m sitting on the shower floor hoping nothing comes through the wall.
Also, I kind of want to watch.
Don’t you dare open the door, LG.
Distract me.
Please.
When we get home, we are going straight to my very sturdy bed.
To sleep?
To tire ourselves out!
What happens after we do that?
I slide my left hand down my body and into my shorts. I’m still sensitive from earlier, but I can’t help touching myself as I eagerly await his reply.
I get to pull you into my arms and sleep with you there all night. Then I’m going to crawl under the covers and wake you up with my mouth.
The fire has reignited as my breathing quickens. My phone rings.
I answer with a breath.
“Are you distracting yourself with your hand, pretty girl?”
I barely manage a breathy “Yes” as my fingers go to work.
“Good. Imagine your fingers are my tongue.”
“Teddy,” I whine, just as a loud bang comes from outside and I drop my phone and scream.
“Nellie? Nell?” I hear Teddy’s voice through the phone and then from outside.
The door flies open, and he slides over to me, pulling my shaking body to him.
“I’m so sorry. Fuck, I didn’t expect it to be that loud. You’re okay.”
“I know. I don’t know why I’m shaking,” I croak, leaning harder into him. “Kinda pissed I didn’t get to finish though.”
“Hurry up in here, and I’ll help with that back in the bunkie. I don’t want to end up trapped in here for the night.” His eyes catch on the counter, and I watch him realize the same thing I had earlier. “Although…” He looks at me as a wicked little grin appears.
“It was a far better thought when there wasn’t a threat of a bear bursting through the wall,” I say, shaking my head.
“Fair.”
Teddy helps not once but twice back in the bunkie, and I fall asleep no longer hearing the gunshot.