Chapter 6 She Comes from Dildo #3
“And I’m told it has excellent seabirds.”
Paul looked away, embarrassed.
We got back in Paul’s car to wait to unload onto the island, and then Paul drove us off the ferry and up through the ring of cheerful houses that tumbled around the terminal like nesting gulls.
Before long, Paul’s car was wandering through a stark and beautiful green landscape with empty stretches of scratchy fields and tiny houses tucked low against the wind.
It reminded me of photos I’d seen of places like Ireland or Maine, those northern stretches of the Atlantic where the light seemed to hit the world sideways.
Eventually, Paul found a place to pull over, and we all climbed down a rocky cliff staircase to get down to a beach together.
It was low tide; everyone on the coast of Newfoundland seemed aware of things like tides and sea levels, and I realized I had never, not once, clocked a high or low tide in New York.
Here, though, there were treasures to be found when the sea drew back: starfish and sea anemones and a rocky cave that we wandered into together, still occasionally planning out our Newfoundland love story.
“It starts raining,” Lisette said, “and they get stuck in a cave together.”
“Like Dido and Aeneas,” I offered, “but with access to condoms.”
Paul shot me an impressed glance. “Classical references.”
“I only remember the things I read in college that felt like porn. Ask me about Samuel Richardson’s Pamela sometime.”
“The two leads should make love in a tidal pool,” Lisette suggested.
“No,” I said, “they should be arguing the whole time, and then they suddenly kiss, and a big wave crashes in the background.”
“And they get soaked,” Lisette said, “and get hypothermia on the way back to the car.”
“They get caught in a cave by high tide,” Paul suggests, “and have to cling to each other all night to stay warm.”
“One bed,” Lisette cried. “Only it’s a mussel bed!”
One thing that became clear was that Lisette, Paul, and I worked well as a little group. It was fun to be with the two of them, keeping the game going.
“Too bad Mark is missing this,” Lisette said. “He never comes out to play.”
“Should we go find him?” Paul offered. “He lives up in Torbay. We could drive there and ask around.”
“He would hate that. I don’t even want to know what he does all weekend,” Lisette said.
“Probably works on an old car, or an old house, or an old girlfriend,” I offered.
“Right? You’ve seen him put the moves on girls at the Puffin?” Lisette asked. “He’s shameless.”
“He does okay for himself,” Paul said. “Not quite sure why.”
“He keeps asking everyone until he gets a yes. That’s what you need to do, Paul.” Lisette turned her blinding enthusiasm toward him again, and he turned away as if to shield his eyes. “Throw yourself at women constantly!”
“Don’t I get another few months of being a sad sack?”
“Just promise you aren’t lying awake at night waiting for Trish to return.”
“I promise you I’m not.” Paul’s gaze on the horizon seemed a little too careful, too emphatically not in my direction.
It felt a little insulting, somehow, the constant care about not giving me any ideas, like he was a movie star, and I was his eager intern whose expectations needed to be kept in check.
When I finally did catch his gaze, I smiled. “So what’s our ending for the movie? A big church wedding? What do you think, Paul?”
He looked a little wary at my tone and didn’t answer.
“Nah,” Lisette said. “Twist ending. They’re both spies and now they have to kill each other.”
When we got back to St. John’s, Paul dropped off Lisette at her new place and then drove me home. We sat together in the car for a moment.
“Well, thank you. Today was lovely,” I said. “All that island needs are a few more chain restaurants and it could really be something special.”
“You’re going to keep coming to improv practice, right? This Thursday?” Paul asked.
“Do you really want me to?”
“Of course.” He looked serious.
“Okay, then.”
He spoke again just as I reached for the door handle.
“Wait a second. There’s something I wanted to tell you.
” He took a breath. “My ex-wife…” The words came out of nowhere.
I waited for Paul to finish the blow. …is the love of my life?
…may be coming back any day now, which I’m desperately hoping for?
“…messed me up a bit.”
I nodded cautiously. “Divorces will do that.”
He shook his head as if I wasn’t quite understanding him. “So I’m trying to be really careful about…”
I waited. His eyes were full of something that I couldn’t read. He took another breath. “What Lisette said about me dating again, I’m not sure if—”
“We can just be friends.” I cut him off as quickly as I could. I didn’t need him to let me down easy, if that’s how this was going to go.
“Okay.” He smiled, the rueful look appearing just for a moment. “Okay, sure.”
There. That had saved us both from a lot of suffering. I got out of the car and walked to the door, telling myself I was happy that things were settled.
Good for him, to be that healthy. Good for him to be able to set boundaries that a therapist would approve of. Good for him that he knew he needed more time to process his divorce. Good for him that as soon as he met a woman he actually liked, all of that would go out the window.