Chapter 9 A Welcome Distraction
“A WELCOME DISTRACTION”
Never had I missed my conversations with Laura more than I did right then. She would be able to talk me through this. She always did. She would tell me to ditch any guy who shut down a first date because his ex-wife showed up, and that was probably exactly what I needed to hear.
I texted her, trying for a sly approach that conceded everything and admitted nothing. Hey, I miss talking to you. can we just talk? I texted, I feel like we’re fighting, but I’m still here for you.
I didn’t say, I need you. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to say that to Laura, not when she might be having troubles with Nick, too. Her life could come first if we had a discussion; her problems would be the headliners. I was happy to slip mine in at the end of the conversation as a post-script.
She called me fifteen minutes later. Her voice sounded scratchy. “Abs?”
“Yeah, hon?”
“This is a mess.” Laura’s tone was flat.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I found a comfortable seat, clicking back into supportive sister mode and mentally pouring myself a cup of tea. She was dealing with Nick, after all. This would take a while.
“This whole thing about buying a house,” Laura began.
“He’s still pushing that?”
“He wants me to take money out of my retirement account. He says we have to do it right away before the market goes up, and he only leased this place until September, so he wants us to find something so Hannah can stay in the same school that she’s starting.”
“Whoa, what? So she started school already, but you can’t keep renting the same place?”
“Soon. Georgia schools start really early. But I think Nick thinks that if we buy a house together, it’s a way for Hannah and me to have to stay. But I’m not ready to make that kind of a commitment. I mean, I haven’t even found a job here yet. I’m interviewing, but…”
“It’s too soon for you guys to buy a house together.”
I heard her sigh. “I know, but he makes a really good point about getting settled. That way Hannah could be in one school all the way through high school, you know? I mean, in New York, the kids keep changing schools, and they have to apply to middle schools and the magnet schools…”
“Laura. You’re not ready to buy a house with him yet. End of story. Nothing to stop you guys from renting another place in the same school district together.”
“I know, and that’s what I told him. But I understand why he keeps pushing it—he’s trying to make up for lost time.”
“But you aren’t ready for that, and he has to prove himself to you. And one month isn’t going to cut it.”
Laura went silent for a long moment. “Yeah. I just don’t know how to tell him ‘no’ without making him feel like I’m rejecting him. And I want him to know that I really want to work this out.”
“Tell him ‘I’m not ready.’ That’s it. That’s what you say.”
“I’ve missed talking to you.” Something rose inside me when she said it. A tidal wave of relief.
“I’ve missed talking to you, too,” I said.
“So how are things going with the improv group?”
“Okay.”
“You okay?” But after letting Laura pour her heart out, I suddenly didn’t want her to feel like the only reason I’d called was so that I could do the same. “I’m okay. Just lonely. How’s Hannah doing?”
Laura and I talked for a few minutes until she said she heard Nick’s car pulling up and had to go.
I could tell her about Paul another time. The important thing was that it felt like we were sisters again.
My phone rang again a few minutes later. A Newfoundland phone number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Abigail. It’s Mark. I was unexpectedly in the city tonight and I’m in your neighborhood. I wondered if I could stop by.”
“Oh, um…”
“Just to check in on you. Assuming you’re just sitting there by yourself on a Saturday night.” I wondered how pointed the remark was.
“I am just sitting here, but it’s okay. I wanted a quiet evening.”
“Let me come by. Just for a quick chat?”
“Okay, sure.”
Mark arrived a few minutes later. I felt nervous waiting for him, though I wasn’t sure why.
When I opened the door and saw him standing there, rubbing the back of his neck, I realized the problem: I found him attractive, though in a very different way than Paul.
Paul was funny, clever, polite. Mark was a misplaced New Yorker, all cynicism and dark humor.
He felt familiar in a way that Paul never had.
He stepped inside and deposited a box of pastries on the table.
“These are for you. Had to get some business done in town today,” he said. “It’s gotten nasty out there. Figured I’d stop in and check on you after our chat the other night.”
“Check on me?”
“See if you changed your mind about a date.”
“Oh.” His reckless confidence was charming, in a way. I let myself wonder if I was making a mistake, picking the wrong guy, but it didn’t matter. I had fallen for Paul whether I wanted to or not.
I opened my mouth to say that Paul and I were dating but then wondered if that was still true.
Paul and I had been together for a Friday and a Saturday afternoon; we weren’t exactly a twenty-episode K-drama miniseries.
If Paul broke up with me after one date, I would be allowed to grieve for twenty-four hours and then move on, according to my friend Jasmine.
It might be better not to say anything to Mark.
“That seems like a no,” Mark said ruefully. “Fair enough. Chocolate éclair? They’re from a bakery across the street from my house called the Chocolate Fair. I have to buy some every week or the smell torments me. I feel like a priest living next to a whorehouse.”
“I wouldn’t peg you as a man of the cloth.”
“A fallen priest. Like that fellow in Fleabag.”
“Or Dimmesdale in The Scarlet Letter.”
“Exactly. Self-flagellating about my éclair addiction.”
I made him a cup of coffee, and we sat at my table eating pastries. They were slender, rich, and lighter than air, and did a nice job of earning their sinful reputation.
“So I know this may not matter to you,” Mark said slowly, “but Paul’s ex-wife is back in town.” I froze at Mark’s malice, then wondered if it was indeed malice or indirect kindness.
“Oh, yeah. She stopped by.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Paul told you?”
“I was with him. At his house.”
“You were with Paul? On a date?”
“Sort of.” I didn’t want to admit to Mark that it was our first one, officially.
“Sort of.” Mark chuckled. “Paul is something, isn’t he. So how did that go? When she stopped by, I mean?”
“He spoke to her for a few minutes outside. He seemed surprised.”
“I’ll bet.” Mark leaned back, looking delighted. He could lounge in the stories of other people’s misery like a cat on a sunny windowsill.
“So how did you hear about it?” I asked. “Did Paul tell you?”
“Trish called me. She and I used to work together. She was putting out feelers for jobs and wanted to know if I hated her.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said I hated everyone, but I didn’t have it in for her in particular.”
I took this in, trying for Mark’s casual irony. “So it sounds like she has fallen out of love with documentary filmmaking.”
Mark snorted, then looked into his coffee mug. “If you want my opinion, it sounds like she wants to get back together with Paul. That was another thing she wanted to talk about. How he was doing.”
I tried not to look like any of this was affecting me. “Well, it’s up to Paul what he wants to do. If he still loves her, he should be with her.”
“Sure.” Mark sighed. He looked tired. I felt like I was seeing the real person, suddenly, under the sarcastic facade, and I felt a wave of affection for Mark.
He took a breath. “You know, I feel for Paul but I’m also jealous of him.
I got married way too young, and I feel like I missed out on playing the field, on dating.
I don’t think anyone should stay with the person they met when they were fifteen.
You miss out on too much of life. So the last couple of years, I’ve been making up for lost time.
But…with you, I feel like I actually connect.
I actually want to date you, not have a one-night thing.
So I guess I’m being persistent, because I think you’re a tiny bit attracted to me.
And if you could be leaving soon, I have to make a move. Am I completely off-base?”
“I may have to leave soon.”
He raised his eyebrows, catching the dodge, a tiny smirk on his lips. “I’m not young anymore. I have to put myself out there instead. And I don’t want to see you get hurt by whatever is happening with Paul.”
“I appreciate that.”
He leaned over and took my hand and then leaned over and kissed my knuckles once. In spite of myself, my body reacted just a little. He slid his chair a little closer.
I wondered if Paul was with his ex-wife right now.
Mark leaned over and carefully kissed my cheek. Then Mark leaned a little closer and I pulled back and shook my head.
“No, no, Mark.”
What was I doing? I didn’t even know if things were over with Paul. I wasn’t even sure I liked Mark.
Mark observed all of this with a gimlet eye, then shrugged, shaking off the spell. “Well, if anything changes with Paul, or goes wrong, I just want you to know that I’m here as a friend, or a date.” He stood up and smiled. “Or just as a welcome distraction.”
Oh, he’s good, I thought.
He grinned, grabbing his coat on the way to the door. I showed him out with a little heat flushing my cheeks red, irritated that he’d managed to get a reaction.
Paul had made me like him, and it made me angry that I was being loyal to Paul even though Mark was offering me a perfectly good no-frills fling. What if it was the wrong call?
Tomorrow I would call Laura and tell her all of this. Well, most of this, anyway.