Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
At some point I must have dozed off because, suddenly, the air is warmer and the forest is changing. I can feel the trees thinning around us, and the daylight is fading again. He must have carried me for hours.
The rushing of the river greets us as he sets me down on my feet and steps back. I look towards the sound to see if I can catch a glimpse of where we are, but when I turn back to ask him—he’s gone. Disappeared without a trace back into the woods without a goodbye or even a “fuck off.”
Some small part of me can’t help but wonder if he ever existed at all. But the pain gripping my heart and soreness between my legs are visceral reminders of just how real he is.
I follow the sound of the rushing water, blinking back more tears, unsure how I have any left. I settle my pack more securely on my shoulders, freeing my hands to grip the rope railing of the precarious bridge that spans the river.
Once across, I climb up a small hill and get my bearings.
A cold gust pushes me back towards Eryon, but it would take more than the north winds to bring us back together.
I lean into it and head towards the familiar guest house that I spot just ahead.
As if Eryon knew exactly where to bring me back to.
I slog my way through the snow and slush, and make my way over the stone path to find my door still locked with my own lock. I fish the key out of the side pocket of my pack and let myself in.
Everything is just as I left it. I drop my bag by the door and glance longingly at the bed. The idea of crawling under the thick quilt and letting heartbreak and exhaustion take over is almost irresistible.
But I owe it to Sita and Tenzig to check in, let them know I made it back safely, and ensure Sita did the same. With a final reluctant glance at the bed, I close the door behind me and head to the lobby to find my friends.
I let myself in and head straight for the fireplace, holding my hands out towards the welcoming heat. When they thaw, I spin around to warm my backside and barely have time to brace myself as Sita barrels into me, crushing me in a fierce hug.
She pulls back, hands on my shoulders, to study my face. “Hai Migaia, I can’t believe you’re alive. We looked for days but had given up hope of finding you!”
A trickle of guilt courses through me at the thought of my friends searching for me, believing me to be dead while I was busy getting busy with a Yeti.
“I’m so sorry, Sita! I can’t imagine what that must have been like. I’m so happy to see that you made it back okay.”
Tenzig brings us steaming mugs, and we all sit by the fire together. I sip the sweet chai, the liquid heat a comfort after the ordeals of the past few days.
“How did you survive?” Sita asks.
“I was able to get out of the avalanche and then I found a cave to rest in.” The simplest explanation is usually the best. And I’m not lying, just leaving out key details.
She eyes me up and down, shaking her head in disbelief. “I know you’ll find your plant now. The gods have surely smiled upon you.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her I did, only to lose it again. So instead I reply, “I don’t know that the price is worth it anymore, Sita.”
“What do you mean? You must find it! You’ll die without it. Dahlia, your life is worth any price. And not just yours, this will help others, too,” she says, concern and urgency coloring her words.
I place a gentle hand on her arm, my voice soft but firm as I say, “It’s okay. I’ll have to find another way.”
She says, “I’m sorry, I don’t blame you for not wanting to search the mountains anymore. Surviving an avalanche must have been traumatizing. Forgive me.”
Now that I’m back, numbness is starting to creep in. I tell myself that I’m just exhausted and things will look better in the morning. But I can’t help but think they won’t. That, in fact, nothing will ever look better again.
After my third yawn, Tenzig bids me goodnight, and Sita insists on walking me back to my room.
After she leaves, I stand by the window, staring across the river, straining my eyes to look for any movement in the dark woods beyond.
Eryon hadn’t even said goodbye, so I doubt that he would be out there, watching me.
The memory of his eyes, silver and luminous, flashes in my mind, as vivid as the first time I saw them on the edge of the forest I’m facing now. I ache to see them again, to know he’s out there, that he hasn’t truly disappeared from my life.
I stare into the night, unblinking, as if my will alone could bring him back so I could somehow explain not just why I need the plant but how I feel about him.
But as the minutes stretch on, my eyes begin to water, and with the sting, I realize I’m staring at nothing but the same empty darkness that stands between us now. A great, gaping chasm.
Despite the ache in my heart, the scientist in me powers up my laptop so I can enter my notes.
Now that I’ve finally seen the plant, I don’t want to forget a single detail.
The real life version matched the description I had found several years ago, but nothing could have explained the beauty of its luminescent blue-violet color.
Although now that I know how the specimen was originally obtained, I see its promise through a different lens.
But tonight, my heart isn’t in moving forward.
I finish logging the details and then power down my computer, unable to make any decisions without sleep.
Hoping things look clearer in the morning, I surrender to restless dreams of endless caverns and elusive silver eyes.
A few days later, I wake to grey winter daylight streaming through the window and the sounds of voices. All I want to do is burrow under the covers, but before my eyes can close again, I bolt upright in bed.
Although it would be unusual for new travelers over winter, that isn’t what is raising alarm bells. It’s one voice in particular that shocks me to my core. I would know it anywhere after all these years.
“Ben,” I hiss.
I crawl out of bed and quickly dress. Goosebumps that have nothing to do with the chill in the air cover my skin as I bundle up in warm clothes, hoping enough of me is covered that even if I do run into Ben, he won’t recognize me.
I have to get to Sita and tell her that he can’t know that I’m here and see if she can suss out just why the hell he is. Sita was wrong. The gods haven’t smiled down on me.
I’m cursed.
Fuck my life, I think as I lace up my boots with their tattered laces that only serve to remind me of Eryon. I wrack my brain, trying to recall if I had told Ben the name of the guesthouse I was staying in. But I must have, because how else could he have found me?
Pulling my scarf up and my hood down to better hide my face, I ease the door open and peek out. The glare of the winter sun on the glistening snow has me squinting, but the coast is clear. I creep to the main lobby and quietly enter.
The air whooshes from my lungs on a startled gasp when I find Ben cozied up next to the fire, sipping a cup of tea. Like he’s been waiting for me. Like he belongs here. Not a flicker of surprise even crosses his face. Instead, a satisfied smirk sits on his lips.
Shit, I was not expecting this. Despite me thinking he wouldn’t recognize me all bundled up, I should have known better. His being at the same guesthouse is no coincidence.
I rip my hood back, pull down my scarf, and clip out, “Ben, what are you doing here?”
“Oh, Dolly. I’ve come to obtain the Silene vitalis,” he sneers.
“Don’t ‘Dolly’ me. I thought I made myself clear enough when I broke your nose. I want nothing to do with you. And I don’t need your help,” I retort.
He lets out a humorless chuckle. “I didn’t say I was going to help you. I said I was going to obtain it.”
My mouth falls open as my mind churns, trying to piece together what he is saying. He’s not here to help me, but he’s here for the plant. Why?
“Well, good to see you, Dolly, but my crew is heading out now.” He repeats the term of endearment with a sneer, just to needle me.
“You’ll never find it,” I say, lifting my chin in defiance.
“Lucky for me, you already did. And unlike your feeble attempt at a one-woman research expedition, I have the backing of not only the university, but a pharma company funding mine. Unlimited money and manpower. Turns out you stumbled on an enzyme they are very interested in. The drug they will develop will be worth millions. Maybe more.”
“No,” I cry, horrified by the thought of pharma sweeping through Eryon’s caves, destroying his home, his paintings, the heart of the mountain where the Silene vitalis grows. I bite back my fear for my Yeti, but I can’t help but say, “This area will be ruined. The people, the environment—”
He cuts me off and says, “You still don’t get it, do you? You could have been something with my backing. Instead you’re nothing but a stupid fucking girl chasing stories instead of science. You should have stuck to plain botany, no one cares about people or culture when there’s money involved.”
I stand frozen, shocked by the sudden turn of events. He knocks into my shoulder as he passes by, spinning me around to watch him leave.
He pauses at the door and throws over his shoulder, “I’ve told you before, you really should secure your files better.”
I gape after him even after the door swings closed. My files. He was in my fucking files. This whole time, after being so dismissive of everything I had ever worked on, he had been keeping tabs on my work.
Of course he did. He had always fallen back on me “helping” him with his, both when he was getting his degrees and as a professor.
When in actuality, everything had been my ideas, my research, my hard work and long nights.
I’m not a stupid fucking girl. I was always the woman with the brains in this relationship. And I need to be the brains now.
“Think, Dahlia. Think!” I coach myself out loud. I try to remember what I had typed into my notes when I had returned. But I hadn’t known where exactly the cave system was which means Ben doesn’t know either.
If I can make it back to Eryon before Ben, I can warn him. I only hope he will listen to me after I’m the one responsible for bringing this threat to his doorstep. My heart breaks for him as the price of this plant just keeps getting steeper.
The sound of voices has me pressing my face to the window, trying to see what is going on without running into Ben and risking another confrontation. As I see his large, well-outfitted group heading out, I hold my breath, waiting to see what direction they head in.
To my relief, they don’t head towards the river. As the last bright parka turns the corner, I burst out of the door and run to my room.
Once inside, I power up my computer. While it boots up, I grab some extra supplies and shove them into the top of my pack. I don’t have time to take everything out and organize it and I have no idea what’s still in there from my earlier trip. This will have to do.
I turn back to my laptop, planning to download my files and then wipe them from my online drive only to find I’m locked out of the University’s system. I slam the lid closed, cursing, “Damn you, Ben!”
Swinging my pack onto my shoulders, I head out again, not willing to waste a single moment. I have to get to Eryon first. Ben may have unlimited resources and manpower, but I have something on my side he’ll never understand.
The sudden threat has made me realize I love Eryon, and I’m going to protect him. No matter the cost. He’s paid enough. It’s time for someone to show him that he is worth saving, too.