Yield

6. Max

When I walk out of the bathroom—my hair tightly bound in a white cotton towel, baggy light gray sweats hanging low on my hips, and a loose-fitting pink tie-dye tee—I find Cole waiting with two bowls of ice cream. My favorite, buttered pecan. It’s always in the freezer.

“How’d it go yesterday?” Climbing in bed, I pull the blanket over my legs and take the bowl he’s taunting me with.

“Finished in tenth for the first heat.”

It killed me to miss a race, although it wasn’t the first thought on my mind. It wasn’t even a second thought.

“And LCQ?” He would have needed to place in the last-chance qualifier to move on to the main event.

“Second. The whoops were gnarly.”

“You’re going to make me ask...you came in twenty-second, didn’t you?” I nod, licking my spoon clean. “Worse, high-side?” He flew over the top of the bike.

“Fourteen points, smartass.”

Fourteen, um fourteen...“Ninth...tenth?”

“Ninth.”

“No shit.” A grin takes my face. “I’m proud of you.” He’s come a long way since his accident.

“It’s not first.” He shrugs, holding his empty glass bowl.

“It’s top ten, Cole. Three years ago you didn’t know if you would ride again.”

Injuries come with the lifestyle. Cole being on a dirt bike since he was ten, he’s been through concussions, sprains—he’s sprained everything from his ankle to his wrist—and a torn ACL. The sport is incredibly taxing on the body and he’s had uncountable accidents that he overcame till the accident of all accidents set off a train reaction that cost him both supercross and motocross seasons. He broke his femur and was back to riding in four months. Then injured both of his shoulders in the second round. A pay cut pushed him to pick up work operating heavy equipment in Saluda, near his practice track. One of the worst feelings is watching your dreams slip through your fingers and there’s nothing you can do. In Cole’s case, it made him angry. It fueled his return...along with taking its toll off the track. I don’t know if he’s mentally strong enough to be racing. Not that it matters. Colson Warren comes from a family that doesn’t like to be told they can’t do something.

“I should be performing better than this.”

“I’m sorry.”

Sometimes it’s like it’s my fault that he had to take focus away from riding. I picked the perfect time to leave my job to focus on my small business. I didn’t know any of that was going to happen.

“Babe, I wish you would have been there.”

I wanted to be there too. It didn’t feel right to miss it. I was angry and hurt and...tired. I was tired of this. What we’re doing right now. Making up after a mouth battle of great proportion. I tried not to think about what I missed on the drive home or what I’d be missing when I sign those papers.

My life with Cole is much more now than it was when we were dating. Those days were carefree. We could be reckless without consequence. We thought we were invincible together like he thought he was on his bike.

“Do you remember our first date?” A gentle smile inadvertently takes over my lips, falling back into the hardly fuzzy memory. It’s funny how the moments are better when you reminisce about them.

“I took you to the track.” His hand half moons over my thigh.

“And showed off.”

“That no-hands stunt worked, didn’t it?”

I hold my bowl out till he takes it. “No, it didn’t. I felt bad for you after you wiped out on the landing.”

“Our first kiss was a pity kiss! After all these years, a pity kiss. That settles it then. You have to let me take you on a date and earn that kiss.”

“I think we’re past a first kiss or did you forget we have an almost four-year-old? Which by the way, I’m not happy that she’s still at your mom’s.”

“Shh shh shh.” He gets up and walks around to my side with his hands full. Bending to my level, he whispers. “I know.” Taking the tip of my pointer to his lips, I trace them, drawing down his chin till I sit back and tug my blanket to my neck. “I’ll go get her right now if you want me to.”

“No. It’s late. She’s probably asleep.”

“First thing tomorrow, you and I will go pick up sweet pea and come home, and we’ll make breakfast, listen to your favorite playlist, and pretend it’s a Sunday morning.”

“What about work?”

“Fuck work. I’m taking a mental health day.”

“You need it,” I call as he struts out of the bedroom.

“And you’re going on that date with me,” he yells from the kitchen.

I’m falling back in. I don’t think I’ll ever actually leave him. I’m not afraid to be alone, at least I’m pretty sure I’m not. No...It’s not that. The divorce would be messy, but it’s not that either. It’s him. He has me...and I’m not ready to live without him. We can fix us. I know there’s hope. I know it. We both want it.

“Call one of your friends over to hang with Ri.” He jumps on the bed like he’s doing a belly flop next to me. “And before you say anything, I know she’s been away all weekend, but I owe you this. Two hours tomorrow night is all I’m asking.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“Okay?”

I let my enlarged eyes do the talking. “You have two hours to win me over. Better be on your A game.”

“What about my D game?”

“De-ciding what flowers to pick up? You know I love sunflowers, but I’m pretty upset still so you might want to add some red roses to that bouquet, and while you’re at it, stop at Dahlia Books. I’ll text you the titles and you can pick up what they have in stock.” I snatch my phone from the bedside table. “Oh, and I’m feeling like a long back massage.”

“Then D? Because back massage goes great with a side of D.”

His scruffy facial hair smooths to my palm in my attempt to reel him to my lips. Cole grabs my phone, puts it where it belongs, and pins both of my wrists to the wooden headboard. He dips down, sensually placing a kiss on my lips. His mouth flirts with mine. If he keeps going they’ll get more demanding and my body will melt into a puddle of fuck me right now.

“Cole,” I mutter, sleepily.

His sigh of understanding warms my skin and his nose falls into my neck. “I’m sorry.” He glances up and runs his callused hands through my hair, taking my face between his palms. “I missed you.”

“I miss you, too. Cuddle with me?”

He nods, sliding under the blanket. One arm goes under my pillow and the other falls to my hip. Rough skin sweeps under my shirt, pressing into my tummy, and he drags me back till my ass is shaped to his groin.

We fit like a friendship necklace. Two broken halves that create a whole. Always attracted to one another. Always fitting each other. This is what we do. Fight and forgive. I’m angry with him and with myself, but I want us more than anything.

Amber is going to be pissed.

“Where’s your duckmallow?” He looks around, trying to spot it.

“Oh shit!” I smack his tattooed forearm, decorated with a spur gear with a loose chain. Inside the chain it gives the illusion of the skin torn off his body, showcasing the muscles beneath. “Did I leave him at Ryke’s?”

“Ryke?” His brows raise as if he’s surprised. I’ve mentioned him in conversation before...plenty of times. Maybe that’s the problem. He knows that name. “Your client?”

“Avery, nooo.” I pout.

“Don’t spiral into Max Madness. Text him to ship it.”

Max madness is dubbed when I get upset about one thing and let it ruin my, and everyone else’s entire day. For the amount of years I’ve been talking to a professional, you would think I’d have my emotions more in check. Not when it comes to Cole. Very little fear exists. Some does. Somethings I’m afraid he’s going to judge me for and I don’t know why I feel that way.

“I can’t believe I forgot him.”

“It’s just a pillow, Max.” I glare at him through narrowed lids. “I’m sorry. You’re mom loved Mallards. I wouldn’t forget.” He takes my hand, swiping his thumb over my knuckles. “It doesn’t get any easier does it?”

“No. It never will.”

He wraps his arms around me tighter till I can feel his heartbeat against my back. Every slow thud sounds like thunder in my mind while silence saturates the air. Deep, long kisses coat the back of my neck.

“I love you, lovebird.”

“I love you, too.”

“Hey, if Mom is a little extra this morning...I’m sorry.“ Five minutes away from the Warrens on this gorgeous sunny morning and he wants to slip in that his mom might be a bitch today.

“Why would she be extra?”

“I told her you left...for the weekend...and that you might not come back.”

“Cole,” I practically growl as my eyes balloon. “She’s going to hold such a grudge.” I love Cole’s parents for everything they have done for me, but God, is Colleen ever judgemental and uppity. She believes everything she hears and I don’t bother debating politics or current events with her and she will call people out in public for being rude when they did nothing wrong. It’s embarrassing. I don’t know what she does for Vince because he’s the opposite. The man is quiet and keeps to himself. He’s usually in his office reading when we come over, but as soon as he hears his son is home, he’s taking him out to the garage. Cole’s dad is his biggest supporter and the reason he’s a successful rider.

“She’ll get over it. It’s not like her marriage is perfect.”

“She thinks it is,” I mutter. I’m assuming he’s speaking theoretically as in nobody has a perfect marriage or perfect anything, yet maybe he’s seen things that I haven’t. I unbutton my cardigan and run my palms over my thighs. My excitement to see Ri will not be overshadowed by my mother-in-law’s upcoming dramatics.

“Momma!” Riley runs into my arms.

I squeeze her tight, rocking her side to side. “Ah, I missed you so much. Did you have fun with Nana, sweet pea?”

She nods, her sweet smile lighting up as she begins to tell me all her adventures. “We go to the mew-zee-om.”

“The what?” I blink, letting a chuckle slip.

“Mew-zee-om. We see dinosaurs! Raaaa!” She draws her hands up like a t-rex.

“Oh, the museum. Was it fun?”

“We had a blast.” I look up at Colleen standing in the formal living room. “Why don’t you go tell Pawpaw that daddy’s here, pumpkin.” Riley runs off through the hallway on the left towards Vince’s office. “Don’t you think you overreacted?”

“Overreacted? I’m sorry, what?” I do my best to stay monotone, giving her less reason to bitch. The living space that always looks far from lived in is lit by the large windows. I walk past her and sit down on the edge of the golden burnt couch, making sure to not disturb the perfectly placed throw pillows in all their white and Earthy accents. Fancy plants border the room on glass accent tables that she admires. Cole ran to the detached garage on the left side of their two-acre lot, leaving me to enter the dragon’s lair on my own.

“Threatening to leave Colson is a little ridiculous, hun. And falling to temptation, letting another take your attention?”

“With all due respect, you don’t have a clue about my relationship with Colson.”

“Pardon me. I’ve only raised both of you and tried to avoid this disaster for years. Now I think you owe it to yourself and my son to be committed.”

“Like I…” I stop myself, remembering who I’m talking to. “We have some things to work on that we are both committed to dealing with and…“ Don’t do it, Max. Stop while you’re ahead. Stop. Stop, Max! “Whatever we decide to do, stay together forever or choose to separate, it’s for both of our best interests and we don’t need anyone else telling us what we should do.” Oh, shit.

Her eyes bug out, her hands take her hips, and she’s about to ask for my manager or uh, husband, to come put me in my place. “You don’t think I have your best interest at heart? I’ve had your best interest at heart since you were a child, Maxine. It offends me that you wouldn’t care about my opinion.” Her voice grows louder and Cole finally walks through the front door. “Colson Grant Warren, you need to have a conversation with your wife. Right now.” She points to the floor.

“There’s nothing to discuss. We’re fine.”

“That little pumpkin pie deserves a happy home. If we need to talk..”

“We don’t need to talk,” he cuts her off. “Did you make pie?”

“Sweet potato.”

“I can smell it.”

Cole reaches out for my hand. His eyes rake over my body, settling on my face. I take his offer and he pulls me to my feet.

We make our way to the kitchen, where he sniffs out the fresh pie. Colleen has always been like this. She gets up at the ass crack of dawn and bakes. She’s one of those women who has dreamt up the day when she would be that grandma that everyone brags about her cooking. She could have had a restaurant or a bakery, but she settled for something with less risk in human resources. The lessons the Warrens have taught me have been as valuable as those that were ingrained by my Mom and Dad, I only wish Colleen would keep her nose out of our relationship, but it’s been like this since she caught us kissing a few months after we secretly started dating. That was the last time I took Carly’s advice. Her scolding me as an adult is much tamer than the frustration that erupted when we were sixteen. Shockingly, she only ever lost control when Cole got his arm tattooed on his eighteenth birthday. That was the first time I heard her yell.

“You prick,” I mutter under my breath. “You told her I left you for another man?”

He continues moving around the kitchen, getting two plates from the cabinet. “Max, how did it feel when you saw that girl dancing on me?” He stops, facing me, deadpan. “That’s how I felt...I was pissed and let it slip to her when I asked her to keep Ri an extra night.” Headed for the knives, he walks to the right corner of the U-shaped kitchen.

“No. Don’t even try to compare my friendship with a man to hiring private dancers.” I look behind me, double-checking that Colleen isn’t walking in, yet I can’t help it...if she only knew what Cole was doing while she had Ri. If she only knew half of the things we’ve done. “I left for my sanity. Somewhere that I didn’t have to talk about you or be reminded...never mind, you’re never going to get it.”

“You always say that. How am I supposed to get it if you don’t explain?”

“I have explained and I’m tired of explaining.”

“Then, I don’t know how you expect me to give you what you want.” His fork meets his mouth, taking a bite of the pie.

“I thought we were going to make breakfast?”

“Well, Mom already has pie and pastries. She’ll make eggs if you ask her.”

“I don’t need your mom to make me breakfast.”

“Don’t be so defensive. She’s trying to help.”

“What she thinks help is and what I think help is are two different things.”

“Momma, I’m hungry.” Ri runs into the kitchen, grabbing my leg. Her lashes flutter over her big blue eyes that match her daddy’s. Her adorable ponytail is full of the same thick black straight hair that I hold and got from my mother. Her little hand clings to mine and she swings it back and forth.

“What do you want?”

“Waffles!” She hops. “And booberries!”

“There are waffles in the freezer. I made a batch Saturday morning.” Colleen sits at the table, picks up her reading glasses, and puts them on.

I squat to Riley’s level. “Oh, so you have been on a waffle kick all weekend, right?”

She grins, nodding. Her nose concaves the slightest like Cole’s, but the bunny lines that rise to the bridge are all mine. “You’re so messy, Dad!”

I glance over to see Cole’s shirt wearing a piece of pie. He lifts his shirt, licking it into his mouth, then wipes his finger across his plate, dabbing Riley’s nose. “Now you’re messy too.”

Her eyes widen, cracking me up. Next thing I know, a tiny handful of pie is being thrown into my face. “Food fight! Food fight!” She yells, running around the kitchen with her hands flailing in the air.

“It’s not funny,” I lecture Cole. He keeps laughing.

See how you like it.

I grab a chunk of the pie from the pan and smash it in the middle of his face. He blinks, nodding as the pie drops to the floor and he runs his fingers across his nose, sucking them clean.

He grabs the entire pie dish, holding it up in one hand.

“No!” Colleen stands, yelling at him. “Colson don’t you dare!”

“Listen to your mommy, Cole. Don’t waste a perfectly good pie,” I laugh.

“There’s another one in there.”

Oh, shit. I take off running, but he wraps his free arm around my waist pulling me back. The pie smashes to my face as he rubs it back and forth. I slump backward, knocking him to the floor.

“Colson Warren!” Colleen yells like he’s fifteen again doing donuts on his bike on the front lawn. I wipe the pie from my eyes, laughing. “And you, Maxine. Thirty-year-old adults acting like children! You can clean this mess and bake another pie.”

“Momma, you are very messy. You need a bath with bubbles!”

“Riley started it,” Cole claims.

“Riley is three!”

I don’t say anything, smearing pie over the floor, trying to stand.

Colleen takes Riley’s hand, leading her to the sink. “You two go wash up and get back out here. I’m not cleaning this mess up,” she calls over her shoulder.

“Hey girl, you look awfully sweet.” Cole stops in the doorway of the bathroom. “I think I should taste you.”

“Terrible pick-up line—” He pushes my back into the vanity. His hands are pressed to the cool granite and mine fall on top of his. “The door is open.”

“So.” His tongue darts out, licking up my neck to my cheekbone.

“How’s that makeup taste?”

“Pie overpowers it.”

He always makes me laugh. Together, we never have to grow old. We’ll age with teenage souls.

“Your mom’s not joking. You know that right? She’s expecting a new pie.” I peer up into his blue eyes. They’re beautiful even with pie gunk stuck to his lashes.

“There’s a freezer section at Roy’s two minutes down the road,” he thumbs.

“When she murders you, would you like me to cover it up or make it national news?”

“Lock the bitch up.”

“You’re a terrible son.”

“I’d be a, really, terrible son if I—”

“If you smashed your mom’s pie in your wife’s face and—

“Fucked said wife on the bathroom sink.”

“That’s not where I was going, but I do have some pie you can eat.” I lean forward into him, laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was, well that was terrible.”

He shakes his head and takes my face between his hands. “Best friends forever?”

“Besties.” I softly kiss his lips. “Let me wash my potato head.”

“Mrs. Potato Head.”

“It’s better than Mr. Potato Head. The guy has some serious anger issues.”

I walk into our kitchen, fiddling with the top I changed into. After a few hours of biting my tongue at Colleen’s, I’m relieved we’re doing this. It’s been a while since Cole planned a date.

“Melody took Ri out back to play if you want to say goodnight to her before we leave.”

“Okay. Can you hook my top?”

My navy short-sleeved blouse has a cut-out in the back with a hook and eye that fixes it together at the base of my neck. I’m fed up, trying to get the little ball inside the loop for the last five minutes.

“Yeah, babe.”

I turn around holding the two ends behind my neck. His fingers feel like the wind, gently kissing my neck as they travel down my spine.

Lower.

Lower.

Feathering out to my waist, he takes hold, yanking me back into his chest. Soft kisses pressed one by one into my skin.

“Fuuuck…” The soft word destroys me, turning my stomach. “Why are you always so goddamn sexy? I wanna take you over the counter right now.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Seven inches.”

“And?”

A short laugh vibrates my shoulder. He slips the loop over the knot. “I know what you like.”

“Mm...tell me what I like?”

“Oh, my little lovebird...I’m gonna fuck you so hard and then...slow...and gentle, over and over till you can’t take it anymore...till you’re begging me to stop. Fuck,” he sighs. “The moans that came out of you last week are still in my head.”

I turn around, looking down to see his erection fighting with his jeans. Thirsting eyes cut off my oxygen. When he looks at me like this I melt, every single time. The way he makes my body feel is hard to resist.

We weren’t always like this—dying to rip each other’s clothes off. We were and then we weren’t, and then I found a new passion...reading. It opened an entirely new world to me that I didn’t know existed, and I didn’t know I needed. I found a community of supportive and informative women who encouraged; communication and consent. I never got to talk about sex things with Mom. The talk came two years before she was taken from me, but everything else I knew was from the internet and my girlfriends. Colleen was the last person I wanted to discuss sex with. I think this new place is why I was also open when Ryke approached me to work on his website. He wasn’t my typical client. Selling fantasy doesn’t make you a bad person. How you do those things and hold yourself as a human does.

“Stop making me wet. I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too.” He bites the smile growing across his oval face.

“Dessert later.”

“You’re mean.”

“I’m going to need my energy.”

“Okay. Go on.”

I step back, contorting my face. “What?”

“Don’t what me. We both know you need to run to the bathroom before we leave.”

Rolling my eyes, I begin to walk off. “It’s your fault,” I call.

“No, it’s your fault for looking that fucking good.” He chases after me and grabs my arm, pulling my body into his. Cole laces his fingers along my lower back. “You tease.”

I toy at the stubble along his neck. “Note to self, wear sweats and don’t shower for our next date night.”

“Guess what…” His mouth brushes my ear. “I’d still want to fuck you,” he hums.

“Where are my flowers?”

“Shit.” He hangs his head. “I forgot them.”

“No, you didn’t.” I bite my frustration back. He has to be lying, has to be.

“If you want to find out, you better hurry up.”

I open the door to Cole’s blue 1979 Ford F150.

Nothing. Not a single rose.

I thought he was full of it and the flowers would be waiting for me on the bench seat. It’s not even about the flowers. It’s how I told him what would make me happy and he didn’t do it.

I climb in and slam the door, not looking at him for the next ten minutes.

We pull down a dirt road I’m familiar with. We used to come over here in our late teens to hang out, listen to music, and sneak booze we hijacked. “Why are we stopping?”

“This is the date.”

“It’s a fucking field.”

“Come here.” He grabs my hand, pulling me across the seat. “Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you.”

“Ugh,” I groan. “You know how I feel about surprises.”

“Babe, close your eyes and your mouth, and let me do my thing.”

“No driving,” I negotiated.

“Look.” He pulls the key from the ignition and puts it under the visor. “It’s you and me.”

Soft fabric covers my eyes when I close them. It’s a bandana, tightening in a knot as he smooths my hair down. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’m supposed to sit here blindly waiting?”

“You can manage. Right back.“ The door clicks shut and I hear him moving around in the bed. I trust him, I do. The unknown scares me. Things happen when I don’t expect them, far too often.

My door opens and his hand takes my knee along the rip in my jeans.

“Give me your hand.” He grasps me, jerking me forward. I heave and inhale, being hoisted over his shoulder.

“Cole, God.”

He sits me down on the tailgate, pulling off the blindfold. “Turn around.”

Holy shit.

The bed of the truck is packed full of blankets and pillows. My yellow and red flowers sit in a beautiful square vase next to a wicker picnic basket in the middle of the bed.

“Is that?” I point, looking back at him.

“Your mom’s picnic basket. Yeah. I was going to buy one and then I found that in the garage storage.” I fling forward, wrapping my arms around his neck as I slide off the truck. “I did good?”

“Very good. I love it.” I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face if I wanted. He heard me. Finally.

He pulls himself up into the bed, holding out his hand to help me up.

“I remember coming here when you’re mom would get pissed off back when JB was around.” Jake Baslin Jr was always JB. Cole stole me from him.

“That’s because JB was a troublemaker from South Port.” A bordering neighborhood of broke kids with absent parents. “Who invited him over anyway?”

“You. He was your friend remember?”

“That was a mistake.” Was it a mistake because I slept with JB or because he snapped when I broke up with him and two months later started dating Cole, his best friend? He lit the garage on fire with Cole’s bikes in it. I was fifteen and acting out when I couldn’t resist the bad boy that I knew Colleen couldn’t stand. If my daughter would shit on me like that...it would hurt, and she saw me as a daughter. She still does...but I still can’t stand her overbearing tendencies.

“It was a long time ago.”

“I know and JB is long gone.” He joined the military after he dropped out of high school and got his GED. He rarely visits this town. There’s not much left for him here besides his grandfather. “Do you remember that time he got stuck in that fucking tree?” I laugh, pointing at the massive White Oak at the end of the field.

He chuckles. “Took me, Timmy, Andy, and Blake to get his ass down.”