10. Exodus “Yin” Tan
EXODUS “YIN” TAN
The stab wound was really minor.
In all honesty, it was more of a scratch but because of my fame, the doctors insisted on keeping me overnight to watch it. Then they talked my mother into booking two follow up appointments to check it for infections and tried giving me a bunch of painkillers I didn’t think I needed.
“Māmā.” I called patiently after reading the labels on the bottles. “Wǒ bùnéng jiēshòu.”
“Why not?” Mama Tan asked. “It will help with the pain.”
“Steroids.” I pointed out, handing the bottle back to the doctor. “I’m not trying to end my career yet.”
She sighed.
“The pain is manageable, right now.” I promised her. “I should be fine. Besides, all I’m going to do now is sleep.”
Again, for what felt like the millionth time, Mama fixed the blanket over me and patted it.
I looked toward the door.
“She’s in the hall.” Mama told me.
“Why won’t she come in?”
“Well, she had a moment with Tha’lab and Squirrel after she heard what happened to you.” Mama explained. “It wasn’t pretty.”
“Oh God.” I groaned, already imagining what had happened.
Alisha must have blamed Squirrel for my incident and with Tha’lab, well, the jealousy thing.
I still didn’t understand what that was about.
We’d managed to get the others to leave and after a bathroom break, Yang returned to get Mama. She kissed my nose, adjusting my blanket and told me she loved me—very much.
She insisted on stressing that part.
I smiled at her.
“I know you love me, Māmā.” I grinned, widely. “After all, I am your favourite.”
“Boy!” Mama laughed, kissing now nose again. “I love you.”
I waved at them.
“We’ll bring you coffee tomorrow when we come to get you.” Yang promised. “And if you’re nice to your nurses, candy.”
“Get out.” I laughed.
Yang chuckled and with Mama’s arm looped at one of his elbows, he walked her to her vehicle to go home.
I settled in the dimly lit room, watching the door, wondering if Alisha would come in now. It made sense why she hadn’t before. She was either still angry at Squirrel and Tha’lab, ashamed or unsure.
I was banking on anger.
About half an hour after I was alone and watching a replay of a football game on the television with the volume low, I felt her presence at the door like a spectre. I didn’t acknowledge her presence.
“I’m sorry.” She finally said before inching further into the room, allowing the door to close behind her.
I didn’t look away from the television or mute it.
“What are you sorry for, Alisha?” I questioned.
“You don’t normally call me, Alisha.” Her voice was tiny, almost like a squeak that didn’t happen.
Sighing, I paused the game and turned my head to frown at her,
“Are you here to waste my time tonight?” I wanted to know.
“You wouldn’t have been very proud of me.” She drew closer, head down. “I wasn’t very nice. I heard you were hurt and everything just went dark. I panicked. I didn’t know—I was scared.”
“You thought my friends would, on purpose, allow anyone to hurt me?” I demanded. “And not just any friends, Tha’lab and Squirrel?”
“I—”
“The truth is, right now, Alisha, in all of this, I trust them more than I trust you.” He told me. “Tha’lab has me, forever and Squirrel dropped his life to come here just because I asked him to. Hell, I just told him that I thought I had trouble and he was on a plane. You have no right!”
“I get it. They love you and I can’t compare with that.”
“No one is asking you to compare yourself to anyone.” I snapped. “And you being scared isn’t an excuse to act like an asshole.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?” I wanted to know. “Do you really? Do you know what Squirrel went through because of me?”
Silence.
“He killed a man.” Exodus reported. “Not for shits and giggles, but for me. You have no idea how heavy taking a life is.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Of course not! You just assume everyone around me is out to get me. But you’re aiming at the wrong people. He’s a fucking fire fighter. Merc’ing a man isn’t ever on his bingo card. But he had to—for me. You don’t think he’s hurting right now? You don’t get to take that away from him.”
“Exodus—I’m sorry, okay?”
“That doesn’t make it better.” I growled at her. “How do I explain to Blythe that she sent her man over here to have my back, and I return him with a head full of trauma?”
“I didn’t mean to come off like an asshole. I felt helpless and I don’t handle helpless well.”
Silence.
I exhaled a long breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding as I closed my eyes. Reeling myself in was hard—as much as I was falling for this woman, she had no right to come down on my friends as she had.
But I could understand why she’d done it—when I allowed myself to calm down a little.
“These people are important to me.” I cleared my throat, gritted my teeth and eased up against my pillows. “There’s never been a time when they’ve disappointed me. They make up my entire world. And as much as I understand you were scared, I can’t have you hurting them like this.”
She said nothing.
“If it gets to be too much, I walk away. I’m too old for your bullshit.”
“You’d choose her over me?”
“In a heartbeat.”
I saw her heart sink.
“Exodus.”
“Your reason for this shit, is ridiculous. And me walking away wouldn’t be because of Tha’lab. It would be because you don’t trust me. I’m too old for that kind of fight. You make your decisions and live with the consequences—that life.”
Silence.
“Look.” I sighed, the exhaustion, pain and frustration sitting on my chest like a truck. “You’re never going to like Tha’lab. For whatever reason you think I’m fucking her, and I can’t change your mind or convince you otherwise. And you know what? I don’t care to at this point.”
She looked away from me.
“What you have against Squirrel is beyond me, but I choose my friends.” I carried on. “If it’s between you or them?—”
She winced.
“Don’t…”
“Don’t what, Alisha?” I snapped. “You don’t want to be the asshole who ask me to pick, right? So, I’m doing that for you.”
“That’s not what I—I screwed up, okay? It won’t happen again. I promise.”
For a moment, I stared at her, my mind going a mile a minute.
But in the end, I crumbled and pulled her into the bed with me on my uninjured side. I wrapped my blankets over both of us and allowed her to rest her head against my chest, under my chin.
As I caressed the side of her head, she sobbed softly in the room, her body shaking.
“I don’t understand why you’re like this, Kitty.” I told her, softly. “I don’t—but you have to know that I trust these people with my life. Things are going to happen but there is never any blame. We get through it and come out stronger on the other side.”
“Okay.”
“No, don’t just say okay.” I sighed. “I want this to be a learning thing, not a submission thing.”
“I thought men like it when a woman gives in.”
“Kitty, I’m not one of those men.” I explained, feeling as if I needed to hold her tighter. “I never want a woman that way. I don’t want her to submit to me. That is not what any of this is about.”
She trembled, tossed her arm across me and sighed softly.
“Even in my bed, Kitty—I don’t want your submission unless that’s something you want to give me. Depending on the situation, it gets me off having her fighting back.”
She said nothing—the vibration of her frame told me everything.
“Are you saying you want to take me to your bed?” Alisha asked.
I smacked her shoulder.
“Be serious.”
“Sorry.” She whispered, her voice cracking. “I’ll apologize to your friends. I really didn’t mean to. I’ll fix this.”
“I know.” I caressed her hair, too tired from our argument. “I know. I know you worry about me—get some sleep.”
Alisha nodded against me and after a breath that caused her entire body to tremble, I waited a little longer until she was breathing evenly.
Still, I couldn’t sleep.
I understood her—honestly, I did. But I had to stand up for my friends because they’d done nothing wrong. She had to know that I would always pick sense out of nonsense and react accordingly.
Especially when it came to those I loved.
Long after a nurse checked on me, I remained there, awake, the television on mute, the moon shining through the window.
The next morning, Sam and Yang walked into the room calling out for me. They stopped short when I pressed a finger to my lips and they saw Alisha cuddled into my side, fast asleep.
“Is she—” Sam wanted to know.
“Tired.” I whispered.
Yang gave me a look but set bags gently on the only table in the room. Silently, he began going through them and the smell of Mama’s wonton soup filled the room.
Sam set down the tray of coffee he’d been holding, and they sat.
Alisha shifted and groaned.
“Something smells good.” She mumbled.
When she saw my brothers, she tried scrambling out of my arms. I winced at the pain of her sudden movement but didn’t release her. Since she couldn’t get away, she pressed her face into my neck.
“Exodus.” Her voice was muffled by my skin. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
I laughed.
“They’re my brothers.” I pointed out. “Trust me, this is not the worse thing they’ve caught me doing.”
“Huh?” She lifted her head.
“They’ve seen me naked.” I explained. “Sam walked in on?—”
Alisha pressed a hand over my mouth then sat up.
“I need to use the bathroom.” She told me and I released her.
Quickly, she scrambled from the room.
“You’re smiling.” Sam pressed his palm to my forehead. “That means you feel better—no fever.”
“Yeah—Yang?—”
“I know.” My brother nodded. “She cares about you and she was scared. I get it.”
“The tough love?—”
Yang lounged backward in his seat.
“She tattled on me?” Yang quirked a brow.
“No.” I replied. “She didn’t have to. I know you, remember?”
“She gets one chance.” Yang pointed out.
Fear tremored down my spine.
He’d said that to me before about one of my other dates. When she cheated on me, Yang ruined her life—the last time I saw her, she was working at a fast-food joint looking as if life was kicking her ass.
“Yang—.”
“I said what I said and I’m pretty sure I didn’t stutter.” Yang replied.