13. Exodus “Yin” Tan
EXODUS “YIN” TAN
Everyone in the house knew what was raging through my head.
They knew why we were leaving the house.
They all smirked as they listened to me tell Mama that Alisha and I would be spending the night somewhere else.
Even Mama understood. She simply grinned and nodded.
The thought of her knowing I wanted to take Alisha away to make love to her caused my cheeks to burn. I didn’t think my mother knowing I had sex would ever not embarrass me.
Sure, I was more than old enough—but she was my mom!
While Alisha packed, my mother took my hand and pulled me to the side.
“Be good to her.” Mama Tan explained.
“You don’t trust me?”
“All I’m saying is find out what she likes before you?—”
I groaned.
“Boy!” Mama Tan smacked my arm.
I kissed her head then her forehead.
“I promise you, Māmā.” He assured her. “She’ll be very happy.”
Mama eyed me, but my face was still burning from embarrassment.
I planned as much as I could for such an impromptu trip. And after packing a back of my own and a few other things, I took hers from her hands and brought both to my truck.
Finding a hotel wasn’t hard. While Bobcaygeon wasn’t a tourist area, Fenlon falls was—kinda of.
I didn’t mind.
It wasn’t a long commute, and Alisha held my free hand the entire way. While I found a place to park, she wandered inside to check us in then we headed toward our room.
She was bright and played with me the entire way there.
In the room, she darted across the space to peer out the window at the water, the man-made waterfall.
She gasped softly in wander, her face almost pressing into the glass.
I entered slower than she did, setting our bags in the outer area and watching her. She marvelled at the lights that sprinkled the area around us, the soft mist the falls sent upward and the penlights from the restaurant close by.
Leaving her with her nose pressed to the window, I showered again.
The one at the house had been to wash off the gym—this one was more purposeful, to prepare myself for her—hopefully.
I then stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my hips. As I exited, she stopped to kiss my shoulder causing me to shiver. I watched after her until she closed the door before finding clothes then sat on the sofa going through the room service menu.
“Kitty?” I called.
“Mm?”
“What do you want to eat?” I asked.
“You.”
I blushed and laughed while shaking my head.
“Food, Freaky McNasty.” I called. “Or do you want to go out?”
“We’re staying in.”
I was so nervous.
Where did these nerves come from?
“Staying in.” I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.
My chest grew tight every time I thought about the night ahead. And while it excited me, a part of me wondered where I got the audacity to think I could satisfy this woman.
I read from the menu for her and eventually she settled on the lobster meal while I went for a large garden salad with a side of roasted salmon and a baked potato.
I knew I could eat whatever I wanted before training started but I probably shouldn’t.
When she emerged from the bathroom, she was dressed in a beautiful red dress that fell to her mid-thighs, quarter sleeve and smelling like the sweetest thing I’d ever want to put in my mouth.
“Um.” She picked at the corners of her fingers while sticking one foot atop the other. “I wish I had—is what I’m wearing okay?”
Shit—I should take her shopping.
“What you’re wearing is fine.” I assured her.
You won’t be wearing it for long, anyway.
Walking over to her, I held her by the shoulders for a moment to stare down into her eyes. When she licked her lips, I hugged her to me. I cradled her cheek against my chest, her warm face into my neck.
“Ex?” She called softly, rubbing my back. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I remained silent for a breath, merely feeling her.
I wasn’t sure what I was feeling but it was overwhelming.
“Nothing is wrong.” I managed. “Nothing is wrong—ever get that feeling where you just need a hug and only one person would do?”
“Sweet-talker.” She poked my hip.
“Kitty, I’m serious.”
“What can I do?”
“Nothing—just let me hug you. That’s all.”
“Okay.” She sighed softly. “We’ll just stand here—hugging—for as long as you want.”
This wasn’t me—it had never been me.
As much as my mother raised her boys to not subscribe to men’s bullshit definition of what a real man had become, this wasn’t me.
I hid my feelings from everyone because I felt as if it was my responsibility to protect those I loved. While I never met my birth family, Mama, Yang and Sam were my everything and I would burn down the earth to make sure they were safe.
I was their watchdog even though they never once asked me to be.
But I’d lost one family already—I wasn’t about to lose another.
Finally, I released her and she looked up at me. She brushed something from my beard before pushing to her tiptoes. I bowed my head to accommodate her height and she kissed me softly.
By then, our food arrived and we sat on the floor and ate together. We passed the time feeding each other and talking about everything.
Mostly, she wanted to know about my career and my family.
“Funny enough, I didn’t like fighting as a kid.” I explained. “I just—I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, we got into some scraps. Nobody is going to mess with my brothers?—”
“But you.”
I laughed out loud.
“Right.” I agreed. “But I’m not remotely good at anything else. Yang heals. Sam nurtures future minds—me?”
“Makes sense—balance out the karma. You break their bones, Yang fixes them.”
Again, I laughed.
“I didn’t think about that—” I paused to shrug. “Works for me!
She smacked me playfully on the thigh.
“All I’m saying.” I continued. “My brothers build the world up so I can tear it down.”
“I don’t think so.” Alisha chewed. “I think you give other men a challenge. Force them to lift themselves to a level they wouldn’t have if they didn’t know you were coming. And think of all the little Exodus’ out there?”
I scoffed.
“There’s only one me.”
“Mm.” She nodded. “But one day, when you’re gone, they will talk about you. They will remember you, aspire to be like you. Don’t underestimate the light you give them.”
I stared at her for a moment, wondering if they truly made women like this anymore.
Unable to stop her, I poked her with a finger and waited.
Alisha laughed.
“I’m real.” She jutted her fork at me. “Stop that.”
What did I do in a previous life to deserve this light?
“You know your mother is very proud of you?”
“Oh yeah?” I lifted my drink to my lips. “How do you know?”
“Come on.” She laughed, pointing her fork at me. “You just have to look at her. I think she’s happiest when she has all three of you in that house. All of you make her complete—I like that.”
I flushed.
“I know she loves you—all three of you. And Sam—you and Yang are the lights of his life. He may not say it out loud, but he adores you.”
Hearing someone say those words filled my heart.
She was curious about Mama Tan and how growing up with her affected my life. She was curious about me, a topic I’d never been really comfortable talking about.
Maybe it was because no one was ever genuinely interested. For the most part, they saw me as a zoo animal—this black kid being brought up in an Asian home and nothing else.
They saw the strange phenomena of a black kid speaking fluent Mandarin with a smattering of Cantonese while using chopsticks and they found it funny—weird,
But Alisha was different.
She asked questions and listened to my answers while nodding as if she was mentally digesting them.
Others asked but didn’t really care—they asked to ask and moved on.
“My dad?” I asked then rolled my eyes to the ceiling in thought. “He was funny. We were always laughing. He was warm and loving—no matter how late he got home, we always received a hug, a kiss to the forehead and was tucked in again.”
“Aww.”
I smiled.
“I used to stay up, pretending I was sleeping.”
“Waiting for that hug and the forehead kiss?”
I nodded.
“We weren’t well off. But Papa worked his ass off to make sure we weren’t aware of it.” I explained. “He did a lot of late nights.”
“Which meant he missed bedtimes.”
Again, I nodded.
“But he would come home and the first thing he would do was kiss Mama.” I smiled at the memory. “Then he’d shower and before eating, he’d make his rounds—Yang and I shared a room—the twin thing. He’d stop by Sam first and then us because?—”
“You were together.”
I grunted my answer.
“He was a good man and I miss him.” I admitted out loud for the first time. “I get very sad for Mama sometimes. He was the absolute love of her life. And she lost him.”
She reached over to rub the back of my hand and I winked at her.
Alisha had follow-up questions and little anecdotes to go along with my answers.
But enough about me?—
“I’ve never been to Jamaica.” She admitted at one point. “We weren’t very rich as you can guess. Couldn’t afford to.”
“Do you have family there?”
She shrugged.
“Maybe. I never talked about it with my mother. It was just her and I—we kinda just accepted that it was just us against the world, you know?”
“I’m sorry—would you like to go one day?”
“Of course.” Alisha answered. “Everyone wants to know where they come from, right?”
“True.”
At some point, we started a movie, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. Alisha crawled into my lap, pushed her body to sit on my thighs and braced her elbows on my shoulders.
When our eyes met in the dim light, I knew what she wanted.
Tilting my head to the side, I nibbled at her neck until she allowed her head to fall backward. As her skin heated up, she began smelling like heated cinnamon. Sliding my palms down her sides, I cupped her ass, loving the way she filled my palms, wanting more.
Slowly, I pushed upward causing her to wrap her legs around my hips as I moved toward the bedroom. Our mouths were still fused, like if I pulled my lips back, the world would end. I moaned and dropped her on the bed.