17. Exodus “Yin” Tan
EXODUS “YIN” TAN
We weren’t awake yet when from somewhere, in the deepest darkest part of my brain, a strange ringtone began. For a few seconds, I lifted my head from the pillow, waiting for the fog to clear.
Alisha moaned and snuggled closer to me. With my eyes still closed, I eased closer and closer to reality and kissed her forehead.
“Shh.” I shushed her. “Go back to sleep.”
I fumbled around on the bedside table for my phone and answered it.
“I found him!” Bambam cheered.
“What time even is it?” I moaned.
“No time to sleep, Yin!” Bambam was still cheerful. “He tested my genius and lost. But I found him!”
“Who?”
“Moses! I found Moses!”
I almost jerked upright but remembered Alisha was sleeping in my arms. Instead, my eyes widened and I tried keeping down the excitement.
“Where is he?”
“Forest Hill.”
I blinked.
“Say what now?” I wanted to know. “That man hasn’t had a job for a millennium. How does he live in one of Toronto’s wealthiest neighbourhoods?”
“He has a woman up there.” Bambam was typing again. “The house is under her name. According to this, he has a kid—ten years old. A little boy.”
“Wait, he abandoned one then go have another?” I was awake now.
“I don’t know what to tell you, man.” Bambam replied. “The woman is a nurse and from the looks of it, she doesn’t make enough for that house, and Moses doesn’t have a job.”
“So, either she knows he’s into some illegal shit and doesn’t care.”
Alisha moaned.
Holding her tighter, I kissed her between the eyes and she settled down.
“Or she genuinely doesn’t have a clue.” Bambam finished for me. “You’re going to have to tell your girl.”
“I know.”
I wasn’t looking forward to that. But if she found out that I knew something and didn’t tell her, it didn’t take a psychic to tell me she would try kicking my ass.
“Right now, let her sleep.” I managed when Bambam called my name to bring my mind back to the conversation at hand. “Moses isn’t going anywhere. Who knows the next time she’ll sleep this soundly.”
Bambam murmured her agreement.
“Go to bed, Bambam.” I told her. “We’ll plot world domination tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
“And, Bam?” I called before she hung up.
“Hmm?”
“You did good, kid.” I told her.
Bambam giggled.
“You owe me a reward.” Bambam told me. “I like cookies and anything technological.”
I laughed softly.
“Okay, love.”
She hung up.
But long after she was gone, I couldn’t fall asleep again. Instead, I clung to my heart tighter, brushing my lips against her forehead repeatedly. I wanted to remember this moment.
This silent moment that felt like a cool breeze against my skin after a heatwave.
Whatever the plans were tomorrow, only meant we were closer to breaking Alisha’s heart again.
We were closer to having the reason behind all of this come to light and I was certain it wasn’t anything good.
It was going to hurt her—and I didn’t want that.
All you can do is be there for her when the world is mean to her. You have to be that wall that blocks out the dark and the demons. That’s what she will need the most.
Mama’s words floated inside my head.
A major part of me wished it wasn’t true. But as the clock on the wall ticked louder and louder to daylight, I knew she’d been right. As much as I wanted to shield her from the darkness in the world, I couldn’t do that.
And that thought alone angered me.
Rolling to my side, I eased her down, so her head was now on my chest, over my heart.
“I promise you, Kitty.” I brushed her forehead with my lips. “That I will keep you safe. There isn’t much I’m good for, but I’ll keep you safe—even from your father.”
The meaning behind my words slammed into my chest like a two-by-four. I’d been shying away from love for a few years, and this one woman broke down my wall in less time than it had taken me to erect it.
How am I supposed to accept that?
But the fear of this relationship wasn’t nearly as strong as the fear of losing her. She’d never once asked me for anything that was overwhelming or scary. She’d asked for my thoughts, my words, my body—but as simple as it all seemed, in my head and heart, fear pulsed around and through everything.
In my fight to remain cold, I’d fallen for Alisha Quinn.
Before she woke the next morning, I’d ordered breakfast. There was nothing to cook in my place since we hadn’t been there in a while. After breakfast was delivered, I poured some of the rice porridge into a bowl, added a spoon and walked over to where my bed was sitting.
I sat on the side of the bed and set the bowl on the floor.
Slowly, I eased some hair off her forehead and kissed her forehead, her nose, between her eyes.
I woke her with the softest kisses and gentle touches.
“Zǎoshang hǎo.” I whispered.
She sighed my name.
“Good morning.” I translated.
“Zǎo-shang hǎo.” She repeated in shaky Mandarin.
She opened her eyes and instantly covered her mouth. When she pushed at my chest, I laughed and eased back for her to get up and run to the bathroom. I waited, listening as the toilet flushed before water began running.
“Sorry.” Alisha climbed back into my bed.
She kissed me softly.
“Had to clean the breath. I used some of your mouth wash. You don’t mind…”
“Of course not.” I handed her the bowl. “You’re welcomed to whatever you want when you’re here. Even me.”
She giggled. “Stop.”
“Eat something.” I smiled.
“Rice porridge? Did Mama Tan stop by?”
“No. I ordered in.” I answered.
The disappointment on her face was as bold as a billboard.
“You miss her.” I realised her sadness.
Alisha smiled but nodded before taking a sip from the porridge.
“Soon, I’ll take you back.” I promised.
The light immediately returned to her eyes, and I received a kiss for my promise.
While she ate, I dug through my clothes for a shirt. I settled on a plain back t-shirt and turned to see that she was watching me in that way that told me she could gobble me up. I smiled and stopped fumbling with my shirt for her to get a good look at my body.
True to form, her eyes roamed down to my belt and she frowned.
“Disappointed?” I wanted to know.
“Well—yes. I mean, isn’t it a little early to be wearing pants?”
Laughing, I went back to her and scooted into bed beside her.
“Let me make you a deal.” I pulled her into my side. “We can cuddle for another five minutes. Then we face the day. Once the craziness is over, we’ll go somewhere and I’ll walk around naked for you all you want.”
Alisha covered her face.
“Don’t like that deal? Okay, then. I’ll take it off the table.”
“Now, now!” She dropped her hands and climbed to sit astride me. “Don’t get too hasty. I’ll take that deal!”
I laughed and accepted her kiss, her lips tasting sweet from the porridge.
“I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, Yìchén.” She relaxed against me, looking around. “But you’re going to need some furniture.”
“Where did you hear that name?”
“Isn’t that your Chinese name?” Alisha asked.
“Well, yeah. But no one calls me that.” I went thoughtful for a bit. “Well, except at school. Freaked the fuck out of my home room teacher the first time she called it and I answered.”
“So, wait. What is your legal name—the name the government calls you?”
“Yìchén Exodus Tan.” I replied.
“In China, they would call you Tan Yìchén?”
I nodded, kissing the side of her head.
“Mama Tan wanted Andros and I to have a little bit of both cultures—hence the middle names.”
“Ooo.” She cooed. “He is Jiahao Andros Tan?”
“Mm. Sam is Li Fan Samuel Tan.”
“So cool. Don’t worry, I think I love calling you Ex.”
I smiled.
“How about mine?” I teased her.
“Call you mine?”
I nodded.
She giggled.
But we couldn’t stay in that bed and moment forever.
And when the time came for me to tell Alisha what Bambam had told me about her father, it was like a rock blocking my throat.
“He has a kid?” Alisha’s voice shook. “After walking away from my mother, from me, he went and had a child with someone else?”
“I’m sorry, Kitty.”
“A child he stayed for? Did you know when I was a little girl, I had questions about my father, but I didn’t dare ask my mother because talking about him made her sad? And in all those moments when a little girl needed her father?—”
Alisha bowed her head and a tear slid down her left cheek.
She boxed it away and turned her face from me.
“Baby.” I framed her cheeks, bringing her eyes up to meet mine. “This—this space is where you break down if you have to. There’s no shame here, no blame—nothing to be afraid of. If you want to cry, then cry.”
“I can’t.” She sniffled. “Because if I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
I waited.
It took a few seconds before she called my name, fell against my chest and sobbed.
Holding her, I said nothing.
Sometimes, speaking wasn’t necessary.
This was one of those moments.
I simply held her and waited.
I allowed her to break, wallow in the sadness then slowly scraped herself back together.
We stole another day of peace before we all descended on a hotel to finalize our plans. It would take all of our friends to carry it out. Even Bambam had to leave her cave and while we congregated , Bambam was on speaker, in her car driving to Mama Tan.
We weren’t taking any chances.
Though Yang was on call, he was with us.
“He seems to like playing this fucked-up game.” Tha’lab mumbled. “Enough is enough.”
I couldn’t agree with her more.
Once we were all caffeinated and had used the bathroom, we piled into our vehicles and set out.
In the wee hours of the next morning, Tha’lab who was paired with Squirrel sat on Moses’ new house.
From the photos I’d seen, it was grand.
Five bedrooms, two and a half baths, a library, finished basement—they still had the listing up online.
Once Moses left the house just after seven, they followed him with Alisha and I taking over. The wife left the house just before eight wearing hospital scrubs, carrying their child. She looked like your typical mother with a number of bags, too many for her arms to manage.
She had a piece of toast between her lips as she juggled everything.
I could see she was much younger than Moses.
Alisha watched but said nothing.
That worried me.
The overwhelmed woman rested her coffee mug on the roof of the car to stray the child into the back, then climbed in forgetting the coffee.
After she’d started the vehicle, she climbed back out to grab her java then got in again.
She drove from the neighbour hood and we waited a little, just in case she’d forgotten something, before leaving our vehicle and crossing the street.
I picked the lock on the front door and let ourselves in a little suspicious as to why the place didn’t have more security. I expected cameras and the like—hell booby traps, but after Bambam had swept the place twice, she found nothing.
“Maybe he’s trying to keep the life away from her.” Bambam had suggested.
I made a sound of disbelieve in the back of my throat.
As we wandered through the house, I kept my eyes on Alisha. The more she saw of how normal the house was—family photos, messy breakfast dishes in the sink, kids’ toys scattered about the house, pictures with ice-cream cone magnets on the fridge—the straighter her spine became.
“You doing okay?” I asked after fitting a in hole camera in a figuring in the living room.
“Fine.” She replied a little tersely. “Fine.”
“This can’t be easy for you.”
“No.” She set a framed picture back where she took it from. “It’s not. But he brought me to this place. I have no choice but to deal with it.”
Sam arrived about lunchtime to allow Alisha and I a break and after I picked up some food for us, we found a park where we ate under a large tree. Then, Alisha took a short nap in my lap but her nightmares were horrible.
Even as I caressed her cheeks, and whispered soothing things to her, she still screamed for me.
“I’m here.” I pulled her up and into my chest. “I’m right here.”
The tighter I held her, the calmer she became until finally she woke up. Without speaking, we used the bathroom at a nearby restaurant then returned for Sam.
That evening when the woman returned with the kid, Yang joined us and while Sam, Yang, Alisha and I headed for the woman’s door, Tha’lab remained behind as backup.
Alisha knocked and my heart raced while we waited.
“Yes?” She opened the door and asked.
“My name is Alisha Quinn.” Alisha introduced herself.
The woman blinked.
“Okay?” She asked.
“Or should I say Alisha Halston.” Alisha corrected. “I think we need to talk.”