Chapter Eight
York
I dropped all the bags in Denali’s room, where she was sitting quietly on her bed, watching me with an odd look.
“You okay?” I asked when she didn’t rush over to grab all her toys and start organizing them.
“Mommy said you’re my daddy,” she said.
You could have knocked me over with a fucking feather.
When I’d come in, Runa had been straining pasta in the sink. “Hey, I need to talk to you.”
“Sure. Just let me put these bags down,” I said, wondering if she was going to tell me about what they were running from.
But I guess that wasn’t it.
She’d told Denali about who I really was.
“Yeah,” I said, walking over to her and crouching down. “How do you feel about that?”
She shrugged.
“I feel happy about it,” I told her. “I know we don’t know each other very well yet, but I’ve liked getting to spend time with you so far.”
“The zoo and games were fun.”
“Yeah. And we can keep doing fun stuff.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. Now that you and your mom are here, I’d like to keep hanging out with you guys.”
She contemplated that for a moment.
“And you won’t hurt Mommy?”
Fuck.
That was the second time she asked about that.
What the fuck had happened to Runa?
“Listen, Denali, I would never, ever hurt your mom. Or you. I promise.”
“You pinky-promise?” she asked, sticking out a pudgy hand, her little finger out.
“Yeah, I pinky promise,” I said, wrapping my little finger around hers and shaking.
She was quiet for another second. “You got Mommy’s ice cream.”
“I remember you saying what kind she liked. I got you all your favorites, so I thought I should get her something special too.”
“She said she’s gonna have some after dinner. She’s making sketti.”
“I saw that.”
“Do you like sketti?”
“I do.”
“Can you stay for dinner?”
“Well, I think I have to ask your mom if I can do that.”
“Ask me if you can do what?” Runa asked, making both of us look over.
“Can York…” Denali paused, nodded once like she was making up her mind, then started again, “Can Daddy stay for dinner?”
Fuck.
My hand went to my chest, as that sharp feeling intensified.
Runa gave me a soft smile that said she understood what I was feeling. Maybe she’d felt the same way the first time she heard a small Denali call her ‘Mama.’
“Of course he can stay for dinner, if he doesn’t have other plans.”
“Nope.”
“He likes sketti.”
“Perfect then. Why don’t you go wash your hands?” she suggested, leaving the two of us alone. “I wanted to warn you that we’d had that talk.”
“I think she needed to process it with me,” I told her, getting up and walking toward her. “So, spaghetti?”
“With a side of salad. Which you have to eat even if you don’t like it. I don’t want her thinking veggies are an option.”
“I like salad,” I said with a shrug.
“All clean!” Denali declared behind her mom, making both of us turn and follow her into the dining room.
“So, is this another ranch situation?” I asked as Denali pulled her salad bowl close as Runa went back to the kitchen.
“No. She’s full of surprises with salad.” Runa went to the cooler I’d packed from their mini fridge at the motel. “French or creamy Italian?” she asked, holding up both bottles.
Dinner was full of mostly Denali babbling about the new house, her new toys, the crafts she wanted to do, the books she wanted to read before bed, and how excited she was to see the Aurora Borealis projector.
Her mother and I mostly just agreed with her and made grunting noises when she paused to catch her breath.
“Can Daddy stay to read me a book?” Denali asked, making that all too familiar stitch start in my chest again.
Runa looked to me.
“Sure. I’d like that.”
“Alright. All settled. Go get your stinky self in the shower.”
The water was already running.
“I’m not stinky!”
“Stinky and dirty.”
“Am not.”
“I could grow potatoes between your toes.”
Denali rolled her eyes but went into the bathroom.
“Call me to do your hair!” Runa called. “She actually never gets stinky or very dirty. She’s very into being clean.”
I was about to ask about her being old enough to bathe herself when Runa finished drying the colander and reached above her head to stick it back in the cabinet. The movement had her cut-off T-shirt inching up.
For just a second, I was fixated on the sliver of skin exposed across her belly, my mind flashing back to what she’d looked like back in a motel room years ago, her bare body spread out on the bed, waiting for me to come over her, to touch, lick, and taste every inch of her.
But as she struggled to reach the shelf, the shirt slipped up higher.
And I saw it.
The very distinct outline of a bruise.
It had gone green and yellow around the edges, time spreading out the blood of the initial injury.
A growl rumbled through my chest as my hand shot out, grabbing the material, and yanking her shirt up to her bra line.
She gasped and jolted, but seemed to sense it was too late to try to brush it off, to pretend she didn’t know what I was talking about when I growled, “The fuck is this?”
Because it wasn’t just a bruise you could maybe excuse for ramming into a chair or door handle. It was one that spread nearly from the waistband of her pants to the band of her bra. It was mostly healed, but the core of it stayed a deep purple.
Runa watched my face, then turned and stepped out of my reach. “I was going to—”
“Is that why Denali has asked me twice if I was going to be nice to you and not hurt you?”
Runa’s eyes went sad. “She asked again?”
“When I got back with her toys. What the fuck has she seen?”
“I want to—”
“Mama! It’s too cold!”
“She’s not allowed to touch the taps,” Runa explained. “I don’t want her to scald herself. I’ll be right back.”
She wasn’t, though.
And I couldn’t help but wonder if that was because she was avoiding a conversation with me.
When she emerged, she had Denali with her. She was clad in long pants and a tee with a princess print all over them. Her wet hair was pulled into two braids, and her face was flushed pink from the heat of the shower.
“Ready for books?”
I only remembered the singular. But I was down for plural. Then a long talk with her mother about what was going on in their lives.
“Yep.”
“You have to do voices,” Denali demanded, making her mother snort.
“I’m afraid it’s a nonnegotiable,” she told me.
“I’ll… do my best.”
“I’ll bring your water in,” Runa said, keeping her gaze away from me as she moved past me and into the kitchen.
She wouldn’t look at me as she dropped off the water a moment later, either, while Denali was still trying to rearrange her stuffed animals on the bed.
It didn’t escape my notice that there was nowhere for me to sit.
But, like seemingly everything, Runa anticipated that and brought in one of the chairs from the dining room set.
Alone, Denali handed me half a dozen books, demanding I read each one of them, even as her eyes got heavier and heavier and she started yawning.
“Daddy?” she called.
“Yeah, princess?”
“The light.”
“Right,” I agreed, putting the book back in the bookcase and fiddling with the astronaut until he cast brilliant lights across the walls, ceiling, and her bed canopy.
Denali gasped. “Purple?” I asked after sorting through all the colors.
But when I looked down at her, she was fast asleep, clutching the capybara stuffed animal.
I brushed her dried bangs to the sides of her face, pulled her blanket up over her, but left the light on as I left the room.
It was time to have an important talk with Runa about her bruises, about the man that Denali had seen hurt her.
All the ruminating I’d been doing on what their lives had been like before coming to Florida, and I’d somehow never considered that there might have been another man in Runa’s life.
And then, by extension, in Denali’s life.
Another possible father figure who got to witness all the things I’d missed: first words, first steps, first Christmas.
There was a burning sensation in my gut as I considered that while walking down the hallway toward the living room.
I expected to find Runa standing in the kitchen, arms crossed, guards up.
But she was sitting on the couch with her legs cocked to one side, her head resting in her hands, dead asleep.
It had been a long day. And she was probably getting the rest of someone who finally didn’t have to be on edge and worried every moment of every day.
There was no way I was going to interrupt that.
I made my way into the kitchen, grabbing a receipt out of my back pocket, then grabbing one of Denali’s crayons and writing my name and number on the receipt before quietly making my way out of the apartment, making sure the door was locked before I headed back to my bike.
Not wanting to startle either of them awake, I walked the damn thing out toward the edge of the lot before turning it over and driving back toward the clubhouse.
I heard the music when I turned down the street and was surprised by the sigh that escaped me.
You’d think after finding out you had a kid for years, getting to know her, then figuring out how to take care of them to try to make up for lost time, I would be chomping at the bit to release some steam, to have some drinks, relax by the pool, maybe even take someone upstairs for some real stress relief.
All I felt as I pulled in the lot, though, was a mild sort of frustration.
It was still early. The party would be going on for hours. I just wanted a single drink, a shower, and an early night. I had plans to see Runa and Denali again soon… and get those answers I needed about the bruises and a man whom Denali saw hurting her mom.
I made my way toward the front door only to find myself in a cloud of weed smoke.
Then there was Maud in a red polka dot bikini and a brand new green-haired dye job.
“You got a medical card?” I asked.
“Nope,” the old woman said, popping the ‘p.’ “Just love me a nice toke. I was a teen in the sixties, you know. Lots of free love and drugs. Then I decided to settle down and be a good wife and mother. Forgot how much I loved grass.”
Grass.
I almost laughed.
“What’s got you looking all hangdog?”
“Not hangdog,” I said, sitting down beside her when she patted the empty chair. “Just a little… overwhelmed.”
“You’re too young and handsome to feel overwhelmed.”
“I just found out a one-night stand I had years ago resulted in a child that I have spent the last few days getting to know.”
“In that case,” she said, passing the joint toward me.
“No, thanks.”
“Well. It’s a lot to take in. Being a parent is good, important work.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“Haven’t known you long, but you seem like a man who understands his responsibilities.”
“I like to think so.”
“Is it a little boy?”
“It’s a little girl.”
“Oh, I love a big, strong, scary guy turning into putty for a little girl. She’s going to decorate your beard. And ask you to have tea parties.”
“I’m game. I missed so much already.”
“I’m confused. If you are glad to have a little girl, why are you so tense?”
“I’m just worried about what her mom might have gone through recently. There are a lot of bruises.”
Maud’s face tightened at that. “I had a sister who had a husband that used to put his hands on her. Of course, back in my day, that wasn’t unheard of. Some men are so small that they need to beat everyone around them down to feel big.”
“Yeah. I hate the idea that my daughter seems to have seen that.”
“That’s hard. Kids are resilient, though. And you have the chance to show your daughter what a good man is.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, exhaling hard. “That’s true. Thanks for the talk, Maud.”
“Thanks for showing me how to live again,” she said, getting to her feet. “I’m going to go drag my husband into the shooting range for a quickie.”
Thanks for that visual.
“Have fun.”
“Be gentle with your daughter’s mom. It sounds like she’s been through a lot. Don’t try to bully the information out of her, either.”
That was some solid advice.
I had to let Runa open up to me in her time.
I just hoped it was soon.
Not knowing was going to drive me crazy.