Chapter Six
Sidney
Waking up to Hattie naked in my bed is a dream come true. She's a koala in her sleep, clinging to me like her life depends on it. I lay awake for the longest, just watching her, trying to convince myself that this is real.
It feels too good to be true. But last night damn sure happened.
I was all over her until she was too exhausted to move.
I probably should have let her rest long before then, but apparently, I'm a selfish bastard.
I'll have to work on that. I can't have her leaving me because I can't keep my hands off her.
I'm not honestly sure I can keep them off her, though. It kills me that she doesn't know how fucking beautiful she is. I'm not the kind of man who goes around calling women bitches, but some women have earned that title. Her mother is at the top of the list.
How dare she look at her own daughter and not see perfection? I can't wrap my mind around it. I know my mom is going to love her. She'll teach Hattie exactly what it means to be loved unconditionally, exactly the way you are. The same damn way she taught me and my siblings.
That's what my girl needs right now—to be surrounded by people who see her for what she is, not as an unfinished project. She will never be that to anyone again. If her brothers can't ensure it, I damn sure will.
"Oh, cranky," she whispers and then giggles softly.
My lips quirk into a grin when I realize she's still dead to the world, dreaming. About me? Christ, I hope so.
I slip my hand beneath the blankets, running it down her side.
She doesn't move.
My dick does, though. He twitches against my thigh, stiffening.
I bite back a groan, dragging my fingertips along her thigh, fascinated by how soft she is. I don't think she has a problem with her size—at least, none beyond the world trying to convince her that she should have with it—but her curves are so perfect it hurts.
Literally. My cock is aching.
My hand drifts between her legs, my fingers parting her slit.
She sighs in her sleep, her legs parting slightly. I take that as an invitation and play with her clit, running my thumb in circles around it. Within seconds, she's drenched, soft little mewls whispering from her lips.
Jesus. Even asleep, she's begging for it.
I want to roll her onto her back and slide myself inside…but what'd I say about being selfish? Gotta learn to do better.
Instead, I slip one finger inside her and then another.
Her mouth falls open on a moan.
I watch her, fascinated, as she rocks her hips, chasing the pleasure. She's in that place between being awake and asleep, her body coming alive before her mind. I love her like this—so soft and open, not trying to hide or worry. She's just Hattie in this moment, just mine.
I grind my thumb against her clit.
"Penguins!" she shouts suddenly, her eyes popping open.
I chuckle, my eyes locking with hers. "Penguins, huh?" I grind my thumb against her clit again. "Penguins can't do this to you, Hattie baby."
"I…Oh," she moans, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. "Jesus, Sidney. Don't stop."
"Didn't plan on it," I murmur, curling my fingers inside her. "Not until you have a very good morning."
"Yay for me," she whispers, making me chuckle.
I roll her onto her back, hooking one leg up over my hip to open her up to me. She pants, clinging to the blankets as I play with her, driving her right to the brink. When she's ready to go over, I dive between her legs, licking and sucking until she grips fistfuls of my hair and shouts my name.
I don't waste a drop she spills. I lick up every single one, savoring the way I taste on her. Who knew I'd fucking love that?
When she falls limp beneath me, I crawl up her body, grinning. "Told you that penguins couldn't do that, butterfly."
She covers her face with her hands, laughing softly. "They weren't doing that, Sidney. You're playing them tomorrow."
I tug her hands away from her face. "Yeah, and you're coming to the game."
"Are you sure?"
I growl softly.
"I just meant…I don't want to be a distraction," she says softly. "Do you really want the whole world to know we're sleeping together?"
Sleeping together? Is that what she thinks we're doing? I mean, fuck yeah, we're sleeping together. But if that's all she thinks this is, clearly, I did not say the right things last night.
She isn't a hookup. This isn't temporary.
I don't tell her that again, though. For whatever reason, she just isn't hearing me. So I need a new plan. Preferably, one that strips away all the bullshit that's been put into her head and makes her realize that she isn't some fucking inconvenience, problem, or favor. She's exactly what I want.
"You're coming to the game tomorrow, Hattie. When it's over, I'm kissing you as soon as I'm off the field. And then, we're coming back here, and I'm going to do what I did last night and will do again tonight, all over again."
She stares at me for a long moment before her lips curve into a soft smile. "Okay," she says sweetly. "But…um…can we go to my place tonight?"
"Why?"
"My fish is probably lonely."
"Did you just say that your fish is probably lonely?" I ask, grinning at her.
"Don't judge me, Sidney Hawkes." She pokes me in the chest. "Fish have feelings too.
I mean, probably." She makes this adorable huffing noise that tells me she's making shit up as she goes along.
"You know what? That's beside the point.
The point is, he's my fish, and he can have feelings if I want him to. "
I'm marrying this girl. There's no other choice. I'm marrying her wild ass. I won't survive any other outcome.
"Yeah, butterfly," I say, leaning down to brush my lips against hers. "We can stay at your place tonight."
"Yo, Hawkes!"
"Fuck," I mutter, scowling as soon as Tye shouts my name while we're standing on the side of the field. Whatever he has to say, this isn't the time or place. The entire team is here, and so are several reporters.
As expected, the photos of his sister and me getting tacos are all over the place. There's no way he hasn't seen them. Frankly, I expected him to confront me earlier, but we've both been busy all goddamn day.
I reluctantly turn to face him as he stomps up to me. "Tye. What's up?"
He leans against the separation barrier, his arms crossed, his expression rife with suspicion. "You took my sister out last night."
"I did."
"Huh," he grunts. "And is there a reason you didn't bother fucking mentioning it beforehand? We talked yesterday. You didn't say shit about it."
I consider lying to him, but I actually respect him. We've been tight since we both signed to the team in the same season. I don't want to fuck that up. But frankly…I've let our friendship stand between me and his sister for long enough already.
I figured since she didn't even want to be in the same room as me, there was no reason to rock the boat.
Why tell him that I was feeling her when she clearly wasn't on the same page?
Turns out, I was fucking wrong about that.
She is on the same page. She's just afraid to let herself feel it.
For some goddamn reason, her mother has convinced her that she's less than her brothers and will never fit into this world.
Fuck that noise.
She fits. She was made to fit in the crook of my arm, right up against my side.
"Yeah, actually, there is a reason," I say, eyeing him. "It wasn't your business."
"She's my sister," he growls.
"You don't own her, man. Hattie is her own person. She can make her own decisions, and her decision last night was to get tacos and go to the ballet with me."
He glowers at me and then mutters a curse. "Why? So our mother would see the photos and back off?"
"Maybe she just wanted tacos." I turn to glance out onto the field before looking at him again. "But while we're on the subject of your mother, the way you let her treat Hattie is fucked up."
"What the fuck?" He narrows his eyes at me. "You think I let her treat her that way? Motherfucker, I've been fighting for Hattie for longer than you can even imagine."
"And yet, she's still miserable. You know she thinks there's something wrong with her? That your mother told her that she isn't beautiful?" I scowl at him, pissed at the reminder. "She hides in your shadow because it's where your mother convinced her that she belongs."
His jaw clenches hard enough to shatter.
"You think I don't know how fucked up it is?
" he asks, his voice soft. The guilt in his eyes says he knows all too well.
"You think that shit doesn't eat me alive?
She's my sister, man. I hate my own mother most days because of the way she treats Hattie.
It's not any different for Harlan and Briggs, either.
We've cut Mom off so many times, refused to even speak to her.
It never changes a goddamn thing. It only makes Hattie sad.
" He rakes a hand through his hair, his expression ravaged.
"Shit." I pinch the bridge of my nose. I knew things were tense between him and his mom.
I just never knew why. When we talked after she asked me to date her, he wasn't surprised to hear about their mother trying to pawn Hattie off on some prick.
He was pissed, but he wasn't surprised. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"You're right. You don't know," he says, his jaw pulsing.
"Your family is perfect. Ours is a fucking mess, but it's my family, man.
That's my sister. I'd kill for her." He meets my gaze.
"Don't be the one I have to kill because you think this is all fun and games and no one will get hurt.
I know her. And I know that, if it weren't for our mother, she wouldn't dare be seen with you. "
"What the fuck does that mean?" I growl.
"It means that she's lived in our shadows her entire life, just like you said," he mutters.
"And she wants nothing to do with this world.
She only shows up because she loves us, and no matter how hard we try to convince her that she doesn't have to deal with it, not a goddamn thing in the world stops Hattie when she loves you.
" He holds my gaze, his eyes boring into me.
"In a week, you'll be gone. And she'll be the one left to deal with the fallout from being linked to you.
But she isn't thinking about that right now.
All she's thinking about is surviving our mother. "
This time, my jaw clenches hard enough to shatter.
I want to tell him that I'm not going anywhere, that once the wedding ends, I'll still be right by her side.
But just because I want that, doesn't mean she does.
And right now, I'm not entirely sure that is what she wants.
She thinks what's happening between us is just sex.
Somehow, we went from fake dating to fucking in the blink of an eye, and that's all she's ready to let herself have. Unless I can change that, the sad truth is that Tye is right. In a week, I will be gone. She'll kick my ass out of her life to protect her own peace.
And that peace doesn't involve a cranky football star with a fanbase.
Fuck.
My heart thuds unevenly, something that feels a lot like panic surging through me. I have a week to strip all of that away and make her see me—to make her fall for me—or this is it. This is all of her that I'll ever have.
It isn't enough. It won't ever be enough.
"I can't lose her."
"Motherfucker."
I glance over at Tye in time to see his expression go thunderous.
"You motherfucker!" he growls. "You slept with her, didn't you?"
I grit my teeth, trying to keep my temper in check. "That's not your business, Tye."
"The hell it isn't!" he roars loud enough for half the team to turn in our direction. "You stood in that locker room on Monday and swore she'd be safe with you. You didn't even keep your word for a fucking day before you had her bent over the nearest fucking surface like some che—"
My fist slams into his face before I even give myself permission to move. Pain lances up my arm as he stumbles backward, but I ignore it, grabbing him by the collar of his jersey.
"Shit!" someone on the field yells.
"Disrespect her like that again, and I'll break your fucking nose next time," I snarl.
"Get the fuck off me!" He tries to throw me off, but I cling to him, my heart pounding.
"Be pissed at me," I growl. "Say whatever the fuck you want to say about me. But don't ever minimize her importance or talk about her like that ever again."
"Sid!" someone shouts behind us. "Let him go, man!"
Several of our teammates are on top of us a second later, trying to pry me off of him. I don't let him go, though. I hold on, our gazes locked.
"Goddammit, Sidney," Marco growls. "There are reporters here, man."
Shit.
I let Tye go like he burned me, whipping around to face the line of reporters standing against the fence, snapping photos like this is a goddamn fashion show.
Jesus. How much did they catch? Judging from the grim look on Marco's face…too much.
Hattie is going to fucking kill me.
I step away from Tye, my heart somewhere near my feet.
"I'm marrying your sister," I say quietly. "When you're ready to deal with that fact like a goddamn adult, come find me."
Tye grunts, but doesn't say anything.
I shrug Marco off, stumbling away.
Christ, I shouldn't have hit Tye. Hattie will be devastated when those photos hit the news, especially when she's plastered all over the news right beside them.
I fucked up.
I fucked up so goddamn badly.