Epilogue
Hattie
Six Years Later
"Daddy, I hab a question."
"Fire away, baby girl," Sidney rumbles to our daughter, Alice. He's supposed to be getting her ready for bed. But Sidney is a big pushover. Alice always has questions at bedtime. And her daddy will spend an hour answering every single one she thinks up, just to delay closing her little eyes.
I was the same way when I was little. And my dad was just like Sidney, answering every single question.
I linger outside her door, listening.
"You hab parents, and I hab parents," she says. "How come Mommy and Uncle Tye and Bwiggs and Harlan doesn't hab any parents?"
"They do, baby girl," Sidney murmurs. "Remember us telling you about your grandpa in heaven?"
"Yeah…"
"He was their dad."
"Oh," she whispers. "Is their mommy in heaven, too?"
My heart clenches.
"No, sweetheart," Sidney says, his voice gentle. "Your grandma is still alive."
"How come we don't see her?" Alice asks, her soft voice rife with curiosity.
Sidney is quiet for a moment. "You know how your mama is the best mama in the whole world?" he asks. "Well, her mom wasn't. She made your mom and your uncles sad. So they put her in timeout until she learns to do better and not make your mama sad."
"Oh," Alice whispers. "Will I eber meet her?"
"Maybe someday," Sidney murmurs. "But not until she learns to say that she's sorry, baby girl. We don't want your mama to be sad. She deserves to be happy."
"I wanna make Mommy happy," Alice says.
"You want to know a secret?" Sidney asks her.
"What?"
"You make your Mommy very happy already," he whispers to our daughter. "You and your baby brother are her world, Alice. She loves you with her whole heart."
I cover my mouth with my fingers, trying to stifle a quiet sob. He's telling her the truth. Alice and Drew are my world. They're the biggest gifts I've ever been given. But Sidney? God, this man is my universe.
There hasn't been a single day since I walked away from my mother where I've missed her or wanted her back in my life.
But there have been hundreds of days when I've felt more worthy, more loved, and more beautiful than ever.
That's because of Sidney. It's because he worships the ground I walk on and makes no secret of it.
People still sometimes say that we don't fit, but it's not really an insult anymore. Sidney never let them get away with that, not for a single second. They say it with smiles, like our love story gives them hope for their own.
God, I hope it does. I want our story to be a reminder to the world that, no matter how awful people sometimes make you feel, everyone deserves to feel worthy. Everyone deserves love. And no one should ever have to ask for it. The right person won't expect them to.
"I lub her too," Alice whispers and then yawns.
"It's time to sleep now, baby girl," Sidney whispers to her.
Surprisingly, she doesn't argue or come up with another question. She just yawns again. "Kay, Daddy. Lub you."
"I love you too, baby girl."
I wait for him to finish tucking her in. When he emerges into the hall, his eyes immediately find mine, his expression soft.
"Hey, Cranky Bear," I whisper.
"You hear all of that, butterfly?" He strides across the hall, tugging me into his arms.
"Yeah," I murmur, melting into his embrace as he dries my eyes. "I heard."
He tips my head back, scrutinizing my expression the same way he always does when anyone brings up my mother. It's like he's looking for any hint that I'm still not healed or that she's still hurting me. But there is none to find. I let go of her the day she showed up on my doorstep.
I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm loved.
Maybe, someday, she'll decide she's ready to be the mother I always deserved. But if that day never comes, that's okay. I'm surrounded by people who love me. They never try to shrink me. They never try to hurt me. They simply…love me.
That's all I need.
"Come on," Sidney murmurs, swinging me up into his strong arms.
"Where are we going?"
"To bed, Hattie baby," he breathes, his lips brushing mine. "I need to remind you that you're perfect."
"You already do, Sidney. Every single day." It's nothing but the truth. Every single day, in a million different ways, this perfect, beautiful, fierce grump makes me feel perfect.
"Good, because it's true. I love you."
"I love you, too."
His green eyes burn with intent as he carries me into our bedroom before pressing me up against the wall. Within seconds, my shirt is on the floor, and his hand is in my panties. "I still think you need me all over you again, reminding you just how worthy you and this gorgeous body truly are."
"Don't let me stop you," I moan, my hand sinking into his hair. "Please, don't let me stop you."
"Didn't plan on it," he breathes, sinking to his knees in front of me. His wild eyes meet mine. "Don't let them hear you."
I clamp my hand over my mouth, trying like hell to obey.
All night long, I try to obey.
I'm not sure I succeed, but when Sidney hauls me across his chest, our skin damp from sweat, our bodies exhausted, I fall asleep with a smile on my face. The same way I always do in his arms.