41. Archer
Chapter forty-one
Archer
Five years Ago- Night of Finals
T ears and squeals of joy echo through the university corridors, the celebration of finals being over and the holiday break breathing new life into the campus. Jessie’s shoes scuff along the linoleum flooring as we walk down the hallway toward the parking lot, a lightness to our step that wasn’t there three hours ago when we stepped into the Chemistry lab for our final.
“Think you passed?” he asks, unlocking his Beemer.
My eyes bounce around behind him, waiting for the moment Tilly finishes and steps out of the building.
“Yeah, totally.” I cross my arms and lean against my truck. “If we failed, Tilly will kill us.”
“I’d rather she kiss me,” he says beneath his breath.
I’ve grown used to the little comments he makes about her, the times he mentions how beautiful she looks or brings her a coffee when we’re in for a long study session. It’s infuriating, but I can’t pretend like I haven’t been doing the same things in hopes she’d notice and maybe want a replay of the karaoke night hallway. We’ve been ships passing in the night with finals happening, but in the back of my mind I wonder if she’s avoiding me because she regrets the kiss. It’s been a week since I felt her soft lips against mine, and I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything except that moment .
I shove my hand in my jeans pocket, fingers sliding against the smooth surface of my brother’s poker chip. It’s been a constant source of stress and anxiety, and somehow also gives me peace when I have it on me. Sebastian didn’t go anywhere without his lucky chip, and every decision he allowed it to make brought him success. If only some of that would rub off on me.
“Here she comes,” Jessie says.
My attention shifts to the dark-haired beauty dressed in rainbow parachute pants and a cream sweater walking out of the building. Her hair is in a messy bun contained by a lemon scrunchie, and her wide smile strikes me in the chest.
She’s effervescent.
“Where are we celebrating?” She stops in front of our cars with an arched brow.
“Why don’t we go to your parents’ restaurant for a nice dinner?” I suggest.
Her eyes light up. “That’s a perfect idea. I have some desserts to drop off anyway. Let’s meet at six o’clock?”
“Great idea,” Jessie says, but I detect a hint of jealousy in his voice.
“You boys go home and get dressed up,” she says. “At night there’s a dress code, so I want you in your finest for our celebration.”
Like soldiers being sent off by their drill sergeant to clean toilets, we salute her and get into our cars. I roll my window down to ask Jessie if he wants to ride together but he’s already backing out. My eyes follow Tilly as she walks to her Corolla, dancing to music that isn’t playing. I chuckle and shift into reverse, heading off to my apartment.
I shuffle through my clothes and realize my closet is filled with too many flannel shirts and cowboy boots and not enough nice dress clothes. I have the navy suit my father forced me to wear to my sister’s Match Day, and even though that feels too formal, everything else is too relaxed for the restaurant.
I dust off the suit, leaving the jacket, and grab the brown Oxfords from the floor before I head into the shower. Being in school for construction management doesn’t afford me many opportunities to dress up, but I’m thankful for my dad’s insistence I have at least one nice suit for special occasions.
My phone vibrates across the sink top, Jessie’s name glowing on the fogged-up screen.
“Sup?” I ask, combing my hair.
“What are you wearing?” he asks.
Nora’s voice sounds in the background as dishes clank around. I’m sure she made dinner already but won’t chastise him for missing it in favor of going out with us. She loves Tilly, too.
“The navy suit I wore to Claire’s Match Day. You?”
“Black dress shirt and khakis.”
Silence encompasses the phone, and the weirdness of calling to check up on the other’s outfit choice isn’t lost on me. We’re both looking to impress Tilly, and I know after tonight there will be a different dynamic to our friendship. Jessie is my best friend, my brother. He nearly sacrificed his own life to save me, and I’ll be forever in his debt. But I’m not sure I’m ready to give up my chance at a happily ever after.
“All’s fair in love and war,” Jessie chirps. “Let’s meet at the restaurant’s bar for a drink before dinner.”
“See you there.” I snort and hang up.
Finding a parking spot at five o’clock on a Friday night is a struggle as I pull into the restaurant’s lot, eyes scanning the rows for Tilly’s or Jessie’s car. Taking a lint roller to my pants before I get out of the car helps calm the anxiety flooding my system. Tonight could change everything. Tonight could be the beginning of the rest of my life with the woman I’ve fallen for, or it could end up a dumpster fire with me embarrassed.
I touch the poker chip in my pocket to make sure it’s still there. My shoulders ease down from my neck, the smooth surface reminding me Sebastian’s always with me, encouraging me, as I walk inside.
Chatter fills the area around the bar, men in business suits wheeling and dealing over top-shelf liquor, figuring out a way to screw the working class. I order a Jack and Coke and wait for Jessie to arrive.
He walks in a few minutes later, hair perfect, pleats pressed. He’s got this air about him, this confidence I’ve never quite figured out how to attain. Envy rises in my chest at how relaxed he is, how he exudes this friendly, outgoing personality that has people wrapped around his finger.
“Sup, Arch?” He signals to the bartender. “I’ll have a tall Guinness.”
We find a spot where we can see Tilly walk inside. Our bodies are angled just so, eyes flitting to the door every time someone arrives. Even though tonight is a big night, it’s nice to have a beer with my best friend.
“Did Nora ream you a new one for coming in drunk the other night?”
“You know damn well she did.” He laughs. “She made me clean the kitchen and organize the garage during the Cowboys v. Buccaneers game.”
“Oof.” We clink beers in a moment of silence for the ending of that game. “You ready for your interview next week?”
He shrugs. “It’ll be a good foot in the door, but you know me, always looking to move up.”
“You’re gonna be running that company soon enough.” And he will. Everything Jessie puts his mind to, he completes.
We fall into easy silence, and the tick of the clock seems to resound inside my head, drowning out the cacophony of voices in the bar. Tension hangs in the air, and subconsciously my thumb swirls around the smooth chip in my pocket to quell the rising pressure in my chest.
Light spills into the room when the door opens, and I swear the entire bar quiets when Tilly walks into the room. Her hair is pulled into a low ponytail, and curls cascade down her back. My pants strain as I take in the tight black dress hugging her curves, ending just below her knees, highlighting the yellow polka dot high heels she’s wearing. I’m sure if I could take my eyes off her, I’d see a version of Jim Carrey during the club scene in The Mask on every male face in here, eyes popping out, mouth frozen open, heart beating out of their chest.
“You look beautiful,” Jessie says, breaking the ice.
“Absolutely stunning,” I add.
Her cheeks pink, and she swipes a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “Thanks, guys. Y’all clean up well, too.”
Drinks paid for and forgotten on the bar top, we accompany Tilly to the host stand where she hugs the bubbly girl. My heart beats all over my body as we follow behind her, both struggling to keep our eyes from being glued to her perfect ass.
The host seats us at a table Tilly’s dad reserved for us. “Your server will be with you in a moment.”
Nervous energy streamlines through my body. Adjusting the utensils keeps me focused in the short moments as we wait for the server. A warm hand wraps around mine, pulling my eyes from the crooked fork.
“Thanks for being my partners this semester,” Tilly says, eyes bouncing between Jessie and me. Her hand is covering his too, and my jaw tenses at the surge of jealousy that rushes through my body.
“No way. Thank you for partnering with us,” I say, emphasizing the ‘you’ portion of my statement .
Jessie nods. “He’s right. We couldn’t have survived this semester without your magnificent brain.”
The server comes over and Tilly removes her hands from ours to order. I immediately miss the warmth of her touch. My eyes lock on Jessie across the table, and I can tell he’s feeling the same by the way he’s staring at his hand. How did I not notice how apparent his attraction to her has become? Was I so blinded by myself falling for her that I neglected to see my best friend was in deep too?
“I’ll have the white,” Tilly says, handing back the menu.
On autopilot, Jessie and I repeat our orders from the bar. Tilly doesn’t notice the tension at the table, or at least she doesn’t mention it as we wait for our drinks. Her dad stops by to say a quick hello but is drawn away by the line at the door. Tilly bites down on her lip and focuses on the menu, ordering the moment the server comes back to the table.
After a round of appetizers and chit-chat, we move onto plans for the next year.
“What classes are you taking next semester?” Tilly asks.
Jessie sets down his beer. “I have my last semester of upper-level business classes.”
“I have industrial internships to complete.” I leave out the fact that I’ll be working for one of Dad’s friends on their new hotel. I’m already feeling the pressure of his expectations, and even though I could’ve gotten my own internship, some things aren’t worth the fight. I’ve tried to keep the peace between us for the sake of mine and Claire’s relationship, and to be honest, I know his connections can help bolster my resume.
She smiles and lifts her wine glass. “To finishing our degrees.”
We clink glasses, and I notice the small frown that touches her cheek right before she tilts the glass to her lips, draining it in one gulp .
“What are your plans?” Jessie asks, not picking up on the fact that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
Her delicate fingers dance along the rim of her glass. “I’m still waiting to hear back if I got into culinary school.” She shrugs and pastes a smile onto her face. “Until then, I’ll keep baking for the restaurant.”
The server drops off our food, and we dig in, chatting about our holiday plans. Before I know it, the restaurant has cleared out except for a few people at the bar. Tilly’s dad comped our meal, which had to be at least two-hundred dollars with all the alcohol we ordered and the expensive entrees.
Jessie’s eyes meet mine when Tilly goes to the back to chat with her dad for a few minutes. Watching as she disappears out of view, my heart lurches into my throat.
“I want to ask her out,” Jessie says, staring at his half-empty glass.
Anger simmers beneath my skin. “So do I.”
The proverbial gauntlet has been thrown, and we’re two cowboys on opposite ends of a small western town, hands ready to draw our weapons. With a glance in the direction of the kitchen where Tilly is, my heart thrums inside my chest.
“What do we do?” Jessie asks, bringing my attention back to him.
My hand moves to the poker chip in my pocket. All the biggest decisions in my life have been made with a flip of this chip in hopes that my brother would guide me toward the right answer, to the things I deserve.
I remove the chip from my pocket and stare down at it, battling with my own inner demons.
“What are you doing?” Jessie’s brows cinch, his lips pinched together.
All the debasement from my parents, the underhanded comments about not deserving what I have, what I took from my brother, come barreling back in, and it’s clear in my heart that Tilly probably wouldn’t choose me. Why would she want someone whose own parents despise him? Someone who knew his brother was struggling and didn’t get him the help he needed before it was too late. I can barely take care of myself and my emotions, and Tilly deserves much better than me.
A calmness settles over me, and in that instant, I realize that if Sebastian thinks I deserve a shot at Tilly he’ll make it so the poker chip lands in my favor. I hold my breath as I fling the chip in the air.
The soft clink of it against the table sets my stomach at the top of the highest roller coaster drop. Every muscle is tense, robbed of the air I’m holding in my chest, willing the chip to be on heads.
Jessie’s sharp inhale is all the confirmation I need. I don’t even look at the chip. I can’t bear to see my unworthiness staring back at me from the table, a constant reminder I’m not good enough, undeserving of love.
Swiping the chip back into my pocket, I stick my hand out to Jessie.
“Treat her right, or I’ll break every bone in your body.”
Reluctantly, I meet Jessie’s eyes. I expected him to have a shit-eating grin on his face, but he doesn’t. His expression is earnest and sincere.
“I will.”
I nod, emotions strangling my words. The taste of copper fills my mouth, and I realize I’m biting on my cheek to stem the gutted feeling wreaking havoc on my stomach. “Good.”
A few awkward moments of silence pass between us before Tilly bounces over to the table. “Ready to go dancing?”
Her smile rips my paper thin heart, and I momentarily consider forgetting everything I just said to Jessie and going after the girl of my dreams. Instead, I place my napkin on the table, and infuse my voice with a chipperness I don’t feel. “I’ve got some stuff to do in the morning, so you guys go ahead without me.”
I don’t miss Jessie’s nod to me, like he understands I’m accepting this as the new status-quo. I hate it, but in my heart of hearts, all that matters is that Tilly is loved and taken care of, and I know she will be with Jessie. I just have to find a way to sever the ties binding my heart to hers.