Chapter 3
Theo
Every time that I come here, I shut down. No emotions mean no connections. I don’t feel when I’m in this house because then I don’t get hurt. Same routine, same everything. Get undressed. Stand in the middle of the room so she could look at me, then she will send me to the shower which I don”t complain about. I tried to spend as much time as I could in the shower, enjoying everything from the hot water to the feeling of normalcy.
“Let’s go, sugar. I don’t have all night,” Claire yelled into the bathroom.
That was one good thing about her, she let me have my privacy but it was probably because of all the fucked up shit she liked to do. I took a deep breath and looked down at my fingers and remembered all the blood that is on them. I deserved everything that I was going through—hell I deserved to die, but something was keeping me going day by day.
“Fuck,” I whispered to myself and felt a tear come to my eyes, but I wouldn’t let it fall. I shook back all the emotion that was trying to make its way up. I got out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I started to dry off but just wrapped it around my waist. I realized a long time ago there was no need to get re-dressed after the shower because Claire would just take more from me if I did extra work.
I took one last breath and looked into the mirror at myself. Time to shut it down, Theo. As soon as I turned my head away, the door opened and I saw Claire pissed as all hell.
“You know I hate waiting.” I bowed my head down in submission because I couldn’t fuck this up. I needed that money. Say nothing and be quiet, I chanted over and over in my head. She took her finger and ran it down my chest.
“You know it’s so hard to come by a man with this body who is willing to do anything that I ask just for some measly money. Too bad you’re so damaged because you would actually be quite the catch for a young lady.”
That stung a little more than it should. I didn’t make eye contact, I just waited for the next thing. She dropped her hand and walked away. I glanced up and saw her walking toward a chair. She picked something up and started to walk back to me. It looked like a garment bag. Great, what the fuck was she going to make me put on for her?
“Change into this. We have an event to go to. I will pay you tonight as long as there is no trouble.”
I’m shocked. An event? If this is one of those sex party things, I really needed to consider getting money somewhere else, because I could deal with her doing whatever to me but not any more than that. I took the bag and bowed my head and turned.
“No, baby, get dressed right in front of me.” I turned back to her and I knew why she was asking this. She wanted to see all of her handiwork. Let”s just say Claire enjoyed inflicting pain, which is why I was okay doing it. Because I deserve as much pain as possible for what I had done.
I took off the towel and grabbed the briefs that were in the bag and pulled them on. My dick was limp as fuck, but she could see the small scars that line my inner thighs from the past year.
Never knew cigarettes could do so much damage. The smell of my burning skin made me completely sick, but I stuck with it every time.
She rubbed her fingers down my stomach and over to the scar that stretched across the side of my ribs. That one was when she got a little too happy with a butter knife. I almost passed out with that one, but she didn’t care. I pulled on the slacks and grabbed the white button-down shirt. There were more, but I’m happy she wasn’t trying to relive all of them tonight. To be honest, I was not sure if she did it because she was crazy or if she actually got off on giving pain.
“You need to shave your face. I need a proper-looking man, not a beast,” she said with disgust on her face. I preferred a beast, to be honest, but again I do as she said.
I paused on putting the shirt on and walked back into the bathroom and saw a razor sitting next to the sink. Over the past year, I have been wondering if maybe Claire was actually the one responsible for her husband’s death, because she is one crazy bitch. I paused for a second because the itch was coming back. I reached over and rubbed my arm so I wouldn’t make it all red. I don’t want to give her another excuse for any more scars tonight.
I shaved my face and I looked so unfamiliar to myself. I almost looked normal. I didn’t look like an addict, but if you stared into my eyes, you could see that they were filled with nothing. I walked out and I saw that she was dressed in a long, silky red dress. She did a single turn and I saw that it dipped in the back. It was a dress that was made for someone a bit younger than her, but I didn’t tell her that. She looked up at me with a smile.
“All the other women will be so jealous of me tonight.” She gave me a side glance and seemed a little too excited.
I ignored the fact that she seemed way too happy with me like this, but I didn’t know how much longer I could last without something to tide me over. I pulled the vest over the shirt and buttoned it. I felt like I was in a straitjacket with how tight all these clothes were. As I was getting my shoes on, Claire came over and held her hand out.
“Take these. It will hold you over until the night is done so we don’t have any unwanted attention toward us.” She meant ‘take these so you don”t fuck up my night and start tweaking out because you need a hit.’ I grabbed them and tossed them back. I swallowed them down like they were candy and grab the jacket.
“Let’s go, stud, and remember: don”t fuck this up for me or there will be consequences before you get your money.” All I did was nod, because what else could I do? I needed that money and if this was the only way to get it, then so be it. She linked arms with me and we walked toward the front door. When we walked out, I saw that there was a limo waiting for us. The driver opened the door when we get closer. I hesitated a little because I didn’t like being in vehicles of any kind anymore, but Claire turned back to me and gave me a look.
Breathe, Theo, breathe. I had this on repeat in my head and stepped in after Claire. I felt the pills starting to work which I was happy about. The sensation of them made me relax a little, which was soothing. I sat on the seat and just looked out the window, watching the trees pass, before seeing a random bird flying by himself. Why was he by himself? Setting those thoughts aside, I started to feel a little bit of the darkness coming back to me and at that point I was grateful.