Chapter 7
Theo
“Where the hell did you go? I had all sorts of people who were talking to me and you were nowhere to be found. Do you have any idea on how embarrassing that is? To just look like I was there by myself?” She was pissed, but I couldn’t take myself away from Serenity. She was definitely the angel that I thought she would be, but she seemed to have some devil in her too, which made me hard just thinking about it.
“I’m sorry. I needed some air. I’m not sure if those pills you gave me were making me sick or something.” I don’t normally talk this much with Claire, but I needed to get her off my back and get back into her good graces because I still needed that money.
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry. Do you think I should feel bad for you? Some junky who comes to me for money because he can’t do anything else for himself. How pathetic are you?” That hit a little harder than I thought it should. I still thought that I deserves to die, but something about Serenity brought me back a little bit tonight, until that guilt sank back in and I remembered Camie.
“Do I need to tell everyone about how you killed your fiancé because of your reckless driving? Maybe get you arrested and put in jail?”
I looked over at her and tried to relax my face because if there was any other option, I would walk away. But I can’t. She kept reminding me of that dreadful night and I couldn’t get past it. I just kept looking out the window into nothing but the night. I needed the darkness and soon.
“Are you planning on giving me the money for tonight or not?” I was being bold, but I needed to know what I was getting myself into when we got back to the house. I needed to mentally prepare myself. I glanced down and saw the pen marks showing through the side, but I didn’t want to risk Claire seeing it, so I kept my hand closed tightly.
“I haven’t decided whether I am giving you anything tonight, but you did go with me without a fight, but you will owe me another night.” She was glaring at me and I knew that when that night came, it wouldn’t be good.
“I’m too tired to deal with anything else tonight, so do we have a deal or not?” I looked up and nodded because what else was I going to say. Then we pulled up in front of her house and got out of the limo. The night sky was hard to see from here because of all the lights, which was rather depressing to me because I always loved looking up at the stars. I followed Claire up the stairs, but she stopped me as I went to walk into the house with her.
“Wait here. I don’t want you coming in here tonight.” I felt a little relieved. I just stood there, waiting for her to come back. I turned and saw the limo leaving and nodded as he drove off. I breathed in the fresh air and tried to clear my mind.
Then Serenity came to mind. Her dark hair that covered her shoulders and her green eyes that could see my soul. That kiss that we shared that I could still feel on my lips. All the sensations that I hadn’t felt in so long were right there at the front of my mind. I didn”t even mean to grab her ass, but it was as if it was calling to me and she wanted it. I hadn’t wanted to be with another woman in so long and it felt weird to actually want that again. I heard the door open and Claire was standing there.
“Here is half now and when I get my favor back, I will give you the rest.” Fuck. That was not what I wanted to deal with tonight. I stood there, debating on fighting back, but then concluded that something was better than nothing. That just means that I have to come back and see her sooner than I previously wanted.
“Fine,” I said as calmly as I could. She handed over the money and I went to turn away.
“You sure do look nice all cleaned up, sugar. Maybe we will do this again sometime, but next time you won’t leave me alone.”
I turned and looked at her and nodded once more because I didn’t have anything else to say to her. I started to walk down the street and felt a little relieved because I had some money.
Now, I needed to find my dealer.
I realized while walking down the sidewalk that I was still in the five-piece suit and laughed a little. I looked ridiculous, walking down the sidewalk late at night. Luckily, I was a big guy and few people would mess with me.
I came up to the park where I normally spent a lot of my time, and I saw my dealer ahead. When I walked up to him, he looked me up and down like he didn’t recognize me.
“I only have half. What can I get with that?”
“What the fuck are you dressed in? Did you hit the lottery or mug someone for those clothes?” I shook my head because that’s not the story that I was about to tell.
“It’s nothing. What can you do for me tonight?” He looked me up and down as if trying to figure out if there was something that he needed to worry about. I felt myself getting impatient.
“Do you want my business or not? I have had a really shitty day and I’m not in the mood.” He paused for a few more seconds and reached into his pocket before pulling out a pill bottle.
“This is what I got tonight. I know it’s not what you’re used to, but you take one of these and you’re going to feel great.”
I looked at the pill bottle and remembered that pills used to be my drug of choice until I tried the needle.
“Fine.” I gave him the cash and took the bottle of pills. Hopefully, I could make these last a while until I figured out my next move. I couldn’t go back but deep down I knew that I didn’t have a choice.
I opened the bottle and grabbed one of the pills. I looked at it, trying to examine it because one pill could be it for me. I put it in my mouth and swallowed it before turning away from my dealer. We never exchanged names. That was something that was just known from the beginning. He didn’t know my name, and I didn”t know his.
I started to walk toward the area where I spend a lot of my time. I didn’t have much else to do these days other than run sometimes, but mostly I people watched, trying to give them the lives I thought they should be living.
It was so late and quiet here. Looking around, I took a seat on the bench. I went to take the jacket off and realized I still had the woman’s number on my hand. I quickly took out my piece of shit phone and put the numbers in before it could wash off my hand. Thinking back, when Serenity asked if I had a phone, I really don’t know why I said no. Maybe it was the shame of who I really was or something else.
I get the first wave of the drug that washes over me. As I closed my eyes for a second, I felt the instant calm that came over me like the smell of rain before a storm.
When I opened them, I looked at my hand again. Would it be so wrong to go and find Serenity tonight? My mind was starting to clear , and the darkness was coming in slowly. My body felt like it was sinking farther than it had ever gone. I laid my head back. My eyes started to feel heavy. Maybe I could just take a little nap then think about this more when I woke up. Yeah, that’s a good idea. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me to my green-eyed angel.