Chapter 27
Theo
“I think that is enough for today, Theo.” I looked up at him and then toward the window. Shit it was dark. How long had I been here? I got up and hastily walked toward the door.
“Theo! Hold on a second and I’ll walk out with you.” Before I walked out the door, I stopped and waited for him to catch up. When he got to me, we walked down the hall together. The silence could cut through glass. Having spent the last few hours telling this total stranger different parts of my life, you would think that I would be able to say something to him, but I couldn’t. We approached the front doors and I suddenly got this very anxious feeling because I was about to go back to my reality.
“Let me give you my personal number in case you need to get a hold of me for anything.” I looked at him and again realized that I still don’t have my phone. When he saw the look on my face, he took a card out of his pocket with a pen and wrote something down.
“Here, I wrote it on the back. I mean it, if there is anything that you need don’t hesitate to call me. I will be back here tomorrow if you want to come back and talk some more. My door is always open.” All I could do was look down at the card, then I smiled back up at him.
“Thanks.” That was all that I could give him. I turned to walk away, but he yelled at me.
“Theo! Just remember, you made progress today. Keep it up and each day will get easier. I promise you that.” I looked back at him and raised my hand in a bye gesture. I hoped he was right because I did want to do better as a person and a man.
I started to walk and thought about Serenity. Maybe I could go to her hotel and see her? Maybe she wanted to see me too? I started to walk my path back to my bench in the park. I needed to sit and process everything that had happened today. I actually felt pretty good right now. I kept looking down at the card that was in my hand. I could be better. I could do better.
“You forgot something at my house the other night?”
That voice. Why was I hearing that voice? I was suddenly feeling sick and wanted to get high to clear out all the thoughts that came with that voice. I looked up and Claire was standing there in front of me, with one of her fur coats on. Why was she wearing that? It was like sixty degrees out here. She reached out and was handing me something.
“Did you not want this back?” I looked and realized it’s my phone that she was handing me.
“How did you know that I was here?” I never told her that I stayed in the park. I looked past her and saw the car and her driver standing outside, waiting for her.
“Come back with me sweetheart, we have some business to talk about.” What the fuck was she talking about? I had no more business with her.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. I’m done with this life. I’m going to get help.” She started laughing hysterically. Not just a laugh though, but a straight up belly laugh. I didn’t know what’s so funny about that. All of a sudden, she stopped and crossed her arms.
“I suggest you come with me if you know what’s good for you. Don’t you remember, you killed your fiancé, Theo. That’s not something that you just get over. It was all your fault. She’s dead and can’t have a life now, all because of you.” I looked down at the ground and tried to remember everything that Mario and I talked about today. How it felt when I realized that it wasn’t my fault, but a true accident. But maybe she was right. Maybe it was my fault. We shouldn’t have been out that night. We should have been home. Maybe she was dead because of me. I was starting to feel sick and that fantastic headache was coming back.
I grabbed my head to try to push it away. I kept trying to remind myself of the conversations from earlier, but Claire was filling my head with all this negativity. Maybe I should call Mario.
“Let’s go, Sugar. We have things to talk about.” I looked up at her in disbelief. She was so emotionless. I shook my head and got up.
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I turned and started to walk away from her. I needed to get away and clear my mind. I needed darkness.
“I’m sure that your little girlfriend would love a call from me. I’m also sure she would love to hear everything that we have done together and for what? Oh right, money for you to get high.”
I stopped in my tracks. Girlfriend? What was she talking about? I looked down at my phone and squeezed it, and my eyes shut as hard as I could. Of course, she went through my phone. She must have seen Serenity’s name and thought… who knows what.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I said with my most calm voice with no emotion. I needed her to leave her alone.
“Oh really? Serenity is her name, I believe. What a doll. Hot shot lawyer and doing very well for herself, I might add. Reminds me of my late husband. Oh, that girlfriend, Theo, if you needed reminding.”
She was mocking me now. Shit. How did she know all that about her? I didn’t understand why she was so focused on her now. I needed to keep her safe. Fuck.
“Fine, you need to leave her alone.” I turned and looked at her. I didn’t know if I could trust her, but what else did I have?
“Fine, now get in the car, Theo.” I started to walk toward her, trying to figure out who this person was that I was going with. There was something off about her now. Maybe I just didn’t see it before because I was so focused on everything else, like getting my next fix. I always knew that Claire was dark in her way, but I was getting the feeling that there was something else that was happening.
“Promise me that you will leave her alone.” I stopped before I got into the car and looked down at where she was sitting now.
“As long as she stays away from you, she will be fine.” I didn’t like that answer, but it was what I had to deal with. I got into the car and the driver closed the door.
“Here, take these. They will calm you down.” I hesitated for a second because this was going against everything that I want to do, like get clean.
“What are they?” I asked.
“Be a good boy and do what you’re told.” Fuck it. I reached and took them. I tossed them in the back of my throat and swallowed. I watched out the window. I noticed that we were about to drive by Serenity’s hotel and when we got close, I saw her. She was walking toward the doors. Hair falling over her shoulders while holding two white containers. Looked like she just ate at the diner. She paused as we drove by and turned. I knew she couldn’t see me because of the tinted windows, but she looked right at me as if she sensed me. Time stood still, and it just felt like us. And just like that, she was gone.
Another turn and we were heading toward Claire’s house. I sat back and closed my eyes because I was starting to feel the effects of these pills. But when I had my eyes fully closed, I saw Serenity staring at me, still. Then I felt peace followed by quiet. Last was darkness, just darkness.