Chapter 24 Harper #2
“You wanna tell me what’s really going on? Cam told me something today that didn’t shock me, but I need to know what’s going on.”
We continued walking in silence for a minute. The wind tugged softly at my unzipped fleece jacket, and I was thankful I had put it on over my sweater.
I kept thinking I’d find the words. Somehow, I thought that they would come easily, like ripping off a Band-Aid. But when I looked over at Reed walking next to me, allowing time for me to get the courage to tell him what was going on, tears rushed up before I could speak.
He stopped walking and turned to face me fully.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low and gentle. “It’s okay, Harp. You don’t have to rush it. You know you can tell me anything.”
I nodded, blinking fast, trying to hold it together. “It’s Cam.”
His brow twitched, but he didn’t speak. Just waited.
“There’s… something happening between us,” I said, barely above a whisper. “This whole time I thought he hated me,” I scoffed. “But he didn’t. Apparently, he’s looked at me in a different light for years now.”
Reed’s eyes widened a bit, but he didn’t jump in to speak. Just gave me the space to figure out what I needed to say.
I started walking again. I didn’t know what to say at first, but it’s like everything just started tumbling out after that. There was no thought process, just rambling. “Do you remember the night after the bonfire on the beach at the beginning of summer last year?”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Yes?”
“The next morning, Cam made breakfast. Do you remember him burning shit in the kitchen?”
He looked confused. I’m not sure why I would expect him to remember such a minor detail. “Harper, I don’t get where you are going with this. Can you get to the point?” He was patient, but laced with annoyance.
I huffed. “He burned shit because of me. He said something, and I kissed him. And that night I first came here after my house shit; we had a massive fight that ended with him in my room and he just… held me. It was crazy. It felt like a normal thing we did. Mind you, we have never done that. And when Wren left to go to your place, he came to my room and stayed. He just lay with me until I fell asleep. He makes me feel safe.”
I laughed softly, a bit nervous about his reaction. “And I know you don’t need to hear this, but we haven’t, like, had sex, but we’ve been really close and—”
Reed groaned and held up a hand. “Okay, okay—never mind. You don’t have to tell me everything.”
I bit my lip, cheeks beginning to feel hot. “Right. Sorry.”
He rubbed a hand down his face, exhaled slowly, then looked at me again. “I already knew Cam had feelings for you. I just didn’t know how long… or that it got this far.”
I blinked. “You did?”
He nodded, a small smile creeping onto his face.
“There’s a way he looks at you. Has been for a while now.
Maybe a few years, even, but over the last year, it was way more frequent.
I even asked him if he had feelings for you several times.
I guess I just thought—if anything ever happened—you or him would tell me before I had come to this. ”
I smiled at that. I guess I truly was the only one who didn’t realize.
I felt bad not telling Reed immediately, but I didn’t even tell him about the house.
It’s not that I couldn’t tell my brother anything; it’s the fact that I have been beyond stressed, and if he had freaked out about either, I would have had a mental breakdown.
“I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”
“I know,” he said, voice softening. “You’re not a kid anymore, Harp. And Cam’s not just some random guy. It’s just… a lot to take in. Especially how he handled things when I told him how I felt about Wren. It’s just weird, ya know? Siblings dating siblings.”
I hesitated before telling him even more of my truths.
“I think I could fall in love with him. Or maybe I already am.” I stopped walking and turned to him.
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure how he would take it, but he deserved to know.
“Also, I’m kind of seeing Tucker, too. I think I want to be with both of them. And I don’t think they mind that.”
Reed looked at me for a long second, a faint blush spreading across his face. The only time he looks like this is when he is about to cry. He quickly pulled me into his arms. “Yeah,” he murmured, his chin against the top of my head. “That’s okay, too.”
And it really felt like it might be.
As he held me, he muttered my name, “Harp.”
I took a step back from my brother and looked at him. “Yes?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, which was always a telltale sign that he was nervous.
“Would it be ok—Uh? How would you feel if I proposed to Wren? I know it seems a bit fast, but she's it for me. The time we have spent together has shown me that I don’t want to live a moment without her being my wife.”
My hand flew to my mouth as he kept talking.
“I have been looking at houses, too. We have talked about having our own space, and if she says yes, I think we are going to move in together. What do you think?” He was beaming and rocking from heel to toe. He really loved my best friend.
I had mixed emotions. Of course, I was happy they found love in each other, but what would it mean for me?
For us? I know that’s a selfish thought, but my abandonment issues always make me worry about being left behind.
It had been Wren and me for so long that the realization she didn’t need me the way I still needed her hurt me.
My voice cracked as I spoke, “Make sure you get her a pear-cut ring. And no yellow gold. She prefers white or rose gold. Look for an older house. Something unique and with personality.” I wiped a stray tear.
“I am so happy for you, Reed. I’ve told you for a lifetime that you are worthy of happiness and love. And now look, you found it.”
He pulled me back into a hug. “Thank you, Harper. Love you, kid.”
“And I love you.”
With that, we let go of each other. I wiped my tears away, and we made the short trek back to the Callahans’ house.