Chapter 31 Cam
CAM
“Can we at least start heading back to the car? It’s getting too cold to stay out here.” Yeah, I definitely regretted not layering up.
“Of course,” Tucker responded, helping both Harper and me up.
As we walked, Harper in the middle with me closer to the shore, I couldn’t help noticing how small she looked between us.
I was a foot taller than her, standing at six feet three, and Tuck was a few inches taller than me.
It would be so easy for either one of us to hold her up and for us to both just bury ourselves inside of her.
She’s back to one of our fronts and–shit, I need to stop.
I adjusted myself in my pants, hoping they wouldn’t notice, and quickly got my thoughts in order.
She’d just told us how hard her childhood was.
My girl never got to be a kid, which kind of makes sense as to why she’s always so silly now.
And don’t get me wrong, I love that about her, but it clears things up for me.
Harper telling me she’s had a crush on me since she was nineteen, almost ten years, blew up my whole world. And now the ball was in my court.
I looked down at our hands, her fingers warm in mine, and felt that old nervous itch start to creep up my spine. But I didn’t want to hide anything from her. I’m sure she knew a lot about my past, too, because after all, her best friend is my little sister.
“My favorite color’s green,” I said. “Like the deep kind, almost forest.”
“Aw, is it because my eyes are green?” Tucker said, batting his lashes at me.
Harper looked up at him, smiling. “Hush. Plus, yours are not that dark.”
He rolled his eyes and motioned me to continue.
God, talking to both of them was so easy.
His personality fit hers perfectly. It made me wonder where I fit in, but when I glanced down at Harper holding my hand, it eased the nerves that had been creeping up.
Whatever I had to do to keep this, I would.
She looked up at me and smiled, soft and knowing, like she was tucking that piece of me away for safekeeping.
“My birthday’s January third, but I’m sure you both can imagine how that goes. Everyone’s too partied out by then, so we’ve always just celebrated it on New Year’s Eve.”
“Well, that won’t do this time around. How old will you be?” Tuck asked, meeting my gaze.
I blew out a breath; fuck, I was getting old. “Thirty-four.”
He laughed, “Fuck, man. I really am getting old. I’ll be thirty-eight on the twentieth.”
Harper’s neck turned so quickly I thought her head would roll off her shoulders. “OF OCTOBER?” The pitch was one that only dogs could hear.
“Yeah, Sugar, the twentieth of October.”
“And you’re just now telling us?” She huffed and mumbled something under her breath, turning her attention back to me.
“Wren told me once that you hated birthday cake, too.”
I huffed a laugh. “It’s dry half the time.”
She bumped her shoulder into mine gently, “Well, you haven’t had mine yet.”
I smiled down at her, shaking my head. I swear, she already had me wrapped around her finger. She could serve me a plate of rocks, and I would eat them and say, “Thank you”.
“I’m nervous about being thirty-four,” I admitted. “I know I’ve accomplished stuff, and I’m proud of what I’ve built, but… I still feel like I’m running out of time.”
Harper slowed a little, causing us to slow down as well. I think she was buying more time since the parking lot was coming into view. Truthfully? I’m glad she did.
“I spent so much of my teenage years and twenties focused on Wren. Making sure she had what she needed, trying to be the one who never fell apart. Not spending money unless absolutely necessary, just in case she needed something. I didn’t even realize how much time…
how much of my life was passing by until recently. ”
I rubbed a hand down my face, feeling the wind pick up again.
The sun was now set, and the full moon lit up the sky, reflecting against the water.
It shimmered, and the waves rolled in. It was beautiful.
I loved this time of year because it got dark earlier.
Could be eight at night or midnight, who knows.
“I hate to admit it, but I’m glad she has Reed. Not because I want to be replaced, but because it means I can finally…” I trailed off, then found Harper’s eyes again. “Be a little selfish. Live for me. Figure out what I want, instead of always worrying about if she’ll be okay.”
Harper’s gaze was soft. She looked so proud. It melted my heart.
“That’s not selfish, Cam,” she said gently. “That’s brave. And honestly? About damn time.”
I gave her a faint smile, heart thudding in a rhythm I was still getting used to. One that beat a little faster around them.
“You’re still young,” Tucker added with a smirk. “Don’t act like thirty-four is ancient. There’s still so much time to figure things out and to experiment.” He added with a wink.
“I feel ancient some days.” I laughed.
“That’s honestly not a bad thing! I prefer old men,” Harper gushed, earning scoffs from both Tuck and me.
Then she tilted her head up at me, looking more serious. “Do you want kids? You’ve given a lot to your kid sister. Do you think you could give a bit more to a kid of your own?” The way she went from joking to serious gave me whiplash.
I stopped dead in my tracks, causing them to stop too.
Tuck looked over, concern lacing his bright green eyes. “Cam?”
The question hit harder than I expected. Not because I hadn’t thought about it, but because I had never had someone in my life that I’d truly considered having a family with. I dated a few women throughout my adult life, but it was never anything serious.
Looking at her, I tried to find the answer in the truth that lived behind my ribs. I let go of her hand and turned toward the lake, trying to gather my thoughts. I am not sure why I felt so overwhelmed.
Questions raced through my head one after another. Was there still time to have a baby? Would I be a good dad? If something happened to my child’s mother, would I end up a mean old drunk like my dad? Do I want to be a father? What if something happened to my partner during childbirth?
The waves lapped the shore in their steady rhythm; the sky streaked with soft gold and rose. My chest felt tight. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. The worst part? I had no idea why I was reacting like this.
“Cam,” Harper said gently, her hand brushing my arm, immediately grounding me.
I turned back to her, and the words came easier than I thought they would when my gaze met hers.
“Yeah,” I said, voice low and rough, a smile on my face. I cleared my throat, willing myself to calm the fuck down. “Yeah, I want a kid or even kids.” I looked between her and Tucker, a small smirk on his face.
Her face stayed soft, unreadable.
“I want to be someone’s safe place. I want to give a child what I didn’t always have.
A home that doesn’t feel temporary. Love that doesn’t come with conditions.
Stability.” I swallowed hard, heart pounding.
“And if I ever got to do that with someone like you…” I trailed off, breath catching. “That would be everything.”
I didn’t expect her to say anything back. But when I looked up, her eyes were glassy, as if she were holding back tears. It damn near broke me.
“Harper,” I murmured, stepping forward.
Before she could say anything, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in. Her cheek pressed to my chest, and her hands curled into my jacket. She needed me just as much as I needed her in that moment.
I rested my chin on top of her head and just held her. Words weren’t needed. I just wanted to be present with her and whatever she was feeling.
“That’s the best answer ever,” she whispered against my shirt.
I closed my eyes, breathing her in. She still smelled of strawberries, vanilla, and something else I couldn’t quite name. It was a scent so specific that it was just her.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t running out of time. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
The moonlight was casting long shadows across the beach as we turned to walk back toward the car. I kept her hand in mine, thumb brushing over her knuckles every so often, just to remind myself this was real.
“Good thing we are heading back,” Tuck said, glancing at the sky.
Harper smiled but didn’t say anything, just kept walking beside me, her pigtails dancing in the breeze again.
“What do you guys want to do for dinner?” I asked.
She let out a breathy laugh. “I can grab something when we get back, don’t worry about it.”
As if I would have let that happen. Both Tucker and I spoke in unison.
“Harper.”
She looked between us, innocent, like she didn’t know what she did.
“That wasn’t an option. Answer the question, Shortcake.” I said with a firmness in my tone.
She bit her lip, then said quietly, “Tacos.”
The way she said it, soft and a little shy, made me smile like an idiot.
“Good choice,” I said. “I can drop you guys off and then I’ll hit that little Mexican place down the road.”
She gave me a look. “You don’t have to—”
“Harp,” I cut in, smirking. “Let me feed you. It’s part of my charm.”
Tucker laughed loudly, “What isn’t part of your charm, loverboy?”
That made her roll her eyes, but her smile was real. We made it to the parking lot, and I had totally forgotten that Tucker drove separately.
“Hey, Tuck?”
“Yeah, Cam?”
“First, why don’t you ride back with us? Harper or I can drive you back in the morning to pick up your truck. Second, it’s your turn to talk about yourself.” I smiled at him while opening the front and back doors for them.
He crossed his large arms over his broad chest, and I swear I started drooling. Getting used to being into men was going to take some time, honestly, but damn, I loved it here.
“I work early, but honestly, that's not a bad idea. I will talk about myself on the ride home. How about that?”
“Good. Now get in.” I said, giving him a small smile.
I felt Harper's eyes on us, and she sat in the back seat. He took a step closer to me. He lifted a hand and held my jaw tightly, surprising me.
“You’ll be sure to make note that I don’t like to be told what to do, yeah?”
His words immediately made my dick hard. Fuck, why was that so hot? “Yeah, okay,” I replied, a bit frazzled.
His smile grew. It was feral-looking, and he looked like he wanted to eat me alive.
He loosened his grip on my jaw and kissed the crown of my head.
When he pulled back, he gave me a gentle slap on my cheek.
“That’s my good boy.” And then he was crawling into the back of my old Bronco with Harper, leaving me fucking hard as stone and stunned.
I shut the passenger door, the seat staying empty, and Tucker shut the door after him.
Well, what the fuck?