Epilogue
DAX
Fuck. This. Shit.
I was not one for lovey-dovey shit, but watching my best friend propose to his girlfriend had me crying in his little sister’s bathroom. It was a mix of happiness and jealousy.
I stared at myself in Harper’s bathroom mirror as they celebrated their engagement.
I splashed my face with cold water, willing the ache in my heart away.
I fucking missed her. I missed Lena. The time we spent together was so magical, but it wasn’t nearly enough.
I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t want to hold her back.
I didn’t want her to regret staying in Sawyers Cove with me if she truly wanted to be in Oregon.
I couldn’t let myself spiral. Not here, anyway. I sighed, drying my face with a paper towel. I muttered to myself, “Keep it together, Deacon.” Then headed back out to celebrate with my family.
As I joined them in the kitchen, Cameron clasped me on the shoulder. He was drunk and uttered the sentence that changed my life.
“I guess now it’s your turn to fall in love, huh?” He patted my shoulder again before sauntering off and pressing a kiss to Tucker’s cheek.
Little did he know I was truly, madly, and deeply in love with his cousin. And I think it was high time I did something about it.
* * *
Future note to self: Never buy a plane ticket during the holidays. The things we do for love.
It was the day after Christmas, and within the span of eight hours, I bought a plane ticket and was in Portland. This whole “confess your love to Lena” could go one of two ways. Either she feels the same and comes home with me, or tell me to fuck off. I am hoping for the former.
I was thankful to know where she stayed, but it felt weird showing up unannounced. This seems more and more like a bad idea. I was definitely too old for this shit, but I needed to say this face-to-face.
I took a rental car from the airport straight to her apartment. When I got to her apartment, it took me ten minutes of pacing to finally knock.
I knocked and then waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Until I heard the latch on the other side click, and the door slowly opened.
“Yeah?” Was the first thing she said. Lena clearly hadn’t realized who I was, but when she did, her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped.
She looked fucking beautiful. Le had cut her hair, and it lay cropped against her shoulders.
She had gotten a neck tattoo that crept under her chin.
Because of the height difference, I couldn't get a great look at it, but she looked badass.
Her hair was all one color now rather than the three it had been.
The red color suited her. She was wearing a pajama set, even though it was noon, that consisted of a pair of cute emerald green shorts and a matching tank top.
She had makeup smudged around her eyes, and I assumed she had gone out to a Christmas party.
It was so surreal seeing her in person. “Holy fuck. Dax? What are you doing here?” She practically hissed the question.
“I- I need to tell you something.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling pretty stupid now for showing up.
She folded her arms, clearly upset. “So, you show up at my place rather than just call?”
“I know. It’s insane, but it couldn’t be done over the phone. Please, just hear me out.”
She sighed, dropping her arms. “Okay.”
“I regret letting you go, Lena. I should’ve told you I wanted you to stay.
That I needed you to. I wanted to propose to you, but didn’t want you to regret staying in Sawyers.
I didn’t want to be the reason you gave up everything, all of your dreams. But I regret not telling you how I feel.
I took away the option of being together, and it wasn't fair to you. I am sorry. I’m not sure what I am asking here, but I want you.
Long distance or not. I cannot handle not being in your life. ”
Her face was a bright red as tears streamed down her cheeks. My hand flinched as I fought the urge to pull her into my chest and dry her tears.
“I loved you. More than I have ever loved another soul, Dax.” I didn’t understand why she was whispering, but she continued. “If you did this a few months ago, I would've dropped everything to be with you, but now it-” Her sentence fell short when another voice called from inside the apartment.
“Baby, who is it?” The familiar feminine voice asked.
I wanted to throw up. No, I wanted to implode. Nope. I wanted to disappear. This was a mistake. She loved me because now she loved someone else. I wasn’t prepared for this. I shouldn’t have come.
The door opened wider to show a very happy… Vesper?
“Dax?” she asked.
“Vesp? What are you doing here? Is this what you quit the shop for?” I was Vesper's mentor, and she worked at my tattoo shop for almost half a decade, as a professional piercer, before she left to “find herself”.
Vesper was now twenty-three and stood quite a few inches taller than Lena.
Vesper had long, blonde hair and big brown eyes that were hidden behind wire-rimmed glasses.
She had a tiny frame that was more noticeable given she was wearing an identical pajama set to Lena but in blue.
Her teeth were perfect, almost as if she had veneers.
She had always been beautiful, but our relationship was always professional.
I never viewed her as a kid, but I also never considered her more than someone who wanted to learn a new skill.
“Yeah, actually. I met Lena a few months ago while on set, and come to find out I had done a piercing for her in the past, and we just hit it off.”
I looked from Le to Vesper, trying to piece together what she was saying.
“Dax, meet my girlfriend. Vesper.”