Chapter Thirty-Five
Rosalie
“I’ve been abused all my life…” I begin, taking a deep breath.
“My mom abandoned me at the hospital with my aunt. She left me in the hands of a woman who never wanted to be a mother, and my Aunt Kathy handed me over to my dad. He had no idea how to raise an infant while in active addiction, and it made for a horrible upbringing.”
Kairo rubs his hand over his eyes, sitting forward as he rests his elbows on his knees. Maddox is staring into me, his face soft and concerned. Roman’s hand stalls over my back, but I continue.
“I won’t go into detail over what he did, but it was so bad that I often have night terrors about it.
I don’t think they’ll ever go away.” I clear my throat, working past the building emotion.
“When I left Mystic, before graduation, I was in a very dark place…” This next part is something I don’t like talking about.
It almost cost me my future, and it’s hard to think about.
I never want to be in that position again. “I tried to kill myself—”
“Fucking Christ,” Maddox curses, standing as he tucks his hands behind his head. He paces for a moment, his eyes closed as if he needs to gather his thoughts.
Kairo stares at my legs unblinkingly, his chest rising and falling deeply. “How…how did you do it?”
“Kairo,” Roman snaps, sounding like he’s on the verge of a mental break, but I hold a hand up to him.
“I need to say this,” I mumble, playing with my hands in my lap.
I take a deep breath, unable to look them in the eyes.
“I took a bunch of sleeping pills, the ones prescribed to me by my doctor. Charlie found me in our dorm and rushed me to the hospital. They had to pump my stomach, and I was admitted with the intention of being sent to a sanitarium. I was held for seventy-two hours before being brought to a mental health hospital. I was there for a week and released with strict instructions to find a therapist and get mental health care. It took Charlie pushing me in the right direction to take the leap. I haven’t looked back since… ”
There’s a string of profound reactions I never would have expected from the three men who tormented me long ago.
Maddox squats down, burying his face in his hands as he shakes his head.
Kairo stays sitting forward, his elbows digging into his knees as he presses his intertwined fingers to his lips.
My gaze finally shifts to Roman, and I stop breathing altogether.
His eyes are glassy as he rubs a hand across his mouth.
But I can see one common emotion in all of them—regret.
“We thought you were dead…” Roman says roughly, clearing his throat as his hand resumes rubbing across my lower back. “Charlie made it seem like you… fuck, I can’t even say it.”
I glance between them in disbelief. “Did she tell you?”
“No,” Kairo reassures quickly. “This was when we noticed you were missing at school. We thought…”
Holy shit.
Charlie made them think I had died when I had already graduated and was on my way to Manhattan. I told her not to tell anyone what happened to me…
She really is a ride-or-die.
She got revenge on my behalf when I was long past that point. I just wanted out of that town.
“Wait…” I trail. “When did you find out—”
“We saw you at Varsity Vat,” Maddox sighs before plopping down onto the floor. “We came across a video of you performing and were passing through Manhattan at the time. We had to see it with our own eyes.”
My lips part, the air rushing from me. “That was eight years ago…”
“It was,” Kairo agrees before chuckling lowly. “Imagine our surprise when we saw you up on the stage.”
My head whips around to Maddox, the dots connecting. The note left at the bar all those years ago sits crumpled in my dresser drawer. I never got rid of it. “You left me the note.”
His eyes crash with mine, wide and startled. “You read it?”
I snort, my nerves seeming to fizzle out slowly. “I still have it.”
“All these years…” Maddox whispers.
Roman clears his throat, shifting subtly below me. “Rosalie, there’s something we need to tell you.”
The way he says my name, like it’s a prayer, has a shudder wracking my spine. That fluttering sensation returns to my stomach, and I wait for him to speak. I feel small in his embrace, but it doesn’t scare me. Not the way it used to.
He’s gentle with me, his eyes softening as he brushes my hair away from my neck. “We’re sorry. We’re so fucking sorry for how we treated you…”
The bridge of my nose stings with my welling tears. I sniffle quietly, wiping my eyes as something bittersweet erupts in my chest. I never wanted golden and gilded promises. I never wanted pity. I just wanted genuine honesty.
I’ve never asked for a lot. It isn’t in my nature to beg for more than what I’m owed, but this is unexpected. An authentic apology. How many times have I thought of this very moment? Dreamed that maybe one day, someone would see what they put me through and actually feel remorse.
“Please don’t cry,” Roman tuts softly as he uses his thumbs to wipe my tears. “You’re breaking my heart, Siren.”
Kairo rubs up my calf, sincerity in his stare. “We really are sorry, Thorn. We’ll never put you through that again. I swear.”
Maddox’s hand finds mine, and he intertwines our fingers. “Never again. You deserve the world.”
My tears are falling heavily and messily down my cheeks, but I can’t stop them.
This doesn’t erase my past, but it’s a good step in the right direction.
I thought letting all of this out would have pushed them away, but if anything, I feel even closer to them than I was before.
They know it all, and I can’t find it in me to stop.
My head is still partially in the bad place, and the words tumble from my lips without any barriers.
“Dad always said I looked like her…” I blink rapidly, sniffling. “My mother.”
Roman slides his hands up my cheeks, curling his fingers into my hair as he forces me to look at him. “You’re you, Rosalie. No one else. You’re Rose Beckett, three-time Grammy winner, pop star, and a fucking saint. Don’t ever forget that.”
I nod before pushing my chin upwards and capturing his lips in a slow kiss that bleeds my overwhelming gratitude and vulnerability.
It isn’t heated, but it’s sweet and timid.
Where I once feared coming this close to Roman, I now find a new sense of comfort and serenity.
When we pull away, he rests his forehead on mine, and my voice is barely above a whisper. “Thank you.”
He closes his eyes as if he’s in pain. “No, thank you. For letting us back into your life. For giving us a chance when we didn’t deserve it. Thank you.”
I swallow, nodding against him. I’m speechless, but they aren’t expecting me to fill the silence.
Kairo leans down, placing sweet kisses on my legs as he feathers me with soft touches. Maddox lifts my knuckle to his lips, staring into me as he presses my hand to his mouth in a show of his affection.
We sit in the silence for a moment, my three bodyguards treating me like glass before Roman decides it’s time for bed. Before they can head off to their respective rooms, I stop them at the base of the stairs. I feel sheepish as I stumble over my words.
“I-I…Umm…” I play with my fingers, my cheeks heating.
Kairo’s head tilts. “Don’t be afraid to ask us for anything, Thorn. What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath before looking them in the eyes. “I don’t want to sleep alone…”
They exchange a glance before Roman holds his hands out. “Who do you want to sleep with? Take your pick. Maddox fucks in his sleep.”
Maddox whips around to his friends before punching his shoulder. “Seriously? You just had to say something.”
Roman rolls his shoulders. “Kairo hogs the covers.”
“I know what you’re doing.” The blonde accuses, pointing a finger at Roman’s face. “You’re trying to knock out the competition. I think Thorn should be the one who decides.”
I can’t hold my laughter back anymore at their bickering. The sound, carefree and unrestrained, echoes around my living room as my eyes tear up. I have to suck in a breath to regain my composure. When I do, they’re all staring at me. “What?”
Kairo blinks, looking smitten. “I’ve never heard you laugh like that…”
My face heats with embarrassment. “Was it too much?”
Kairo’s head rears. “What? It was fucking hot.”
“Beautiful…” Maddox breathes.
“Even your laugh is like music,” Roman mutters.
Oh.
They liked my laugh?
“Thank you.” I smile before my lips pull over my teeth. “I actually have one tiny request.”
“Anything,” Roman says.
“Can I sleep with all of you?”
Kairo snorts. “I thought you would never ask. Whose room?”
“Mine has a king bed,” Maddox offers.
“We all have king beds,” Roman deadpans.
I blink as another argument breaks out between them, but that’s not what stuns me. It’s how easily they agreed that’s surprising.
“Okay!” Kairo interjects, using his hands as a diagram as he smashes them together. “If we take the bed from Maddox’s room and push it together with Roman’s, then we should all fit.”
They all look at me for confirmation, and I shrug. “Sounds good to me.”
I’m left reeling in the doorway of Roman’s room as they all scatter.
Roman and Kairo handle the bed, moving it into the room effortlessly and smacking the mattresses together as Maddox grabs extra blankets and pillows.
They assemble everything without me lifting a finger, and I can only watch in amusement.
Kairo motions to the large bed, proud of their work. “Ladies first.”
I cross my arms. “I’m not sleeping in my robe.”
The blonde’s eyes light up. “Naked?”
I bite my lower lip, considering the offer. Tonight has been a lot, but my shoulders no longer feel heavy. My tears have long dried, and if I want to pursue this, I have my own testing to do.
I delicately work the tie of my robe, sliding it off until it hits the floor. They’ve seen me naked so many times, but it doesn’t stop the nerves that eat away at me every time.
Kairo’s head tilts, his eyes darkening. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”
I preen under his compliment before sliding under the covers. I situate myself in the middle of the bed while the guys practically trip over themselves to undress. Roman takes his shirt off as he faces me, and my mouth falls open in shock at the ink over his heart.
“Roman?” I ask.
He turns to me, lifting a brow.
“Why do you have my name tattooed on you?”
His mouth moves, but no sound comes out before he hums. “Umm…”
Over his heart, my name is spelled in delicate, gentle curling cursive. It’s expressive and beautiful in its design, the black, thin ink contrasting with all of his other sharply etched tattoos.
Kairo shoves Roman’s shoulder, getting a good look at my name. “How the fuck have I never noticed that?”
Maddox’s brows hit his hairline. “How long have you had it?”
Roman looks away from us, his neck turning red. “I got it right after high school. It was my first tattoo.”
Oh, my god.
“Did you get it in—” I begin, only for Roman to finish my sentence.
“Remembrance of you? Yes.”
There’s no hesitation behind his words. Only pure truth and certainty.
He got the tattoo to remember me by, and sick satisfaction uncurls in my chest. Is it wrong of me to find this so achingly sweet?
Maybe, but I can’t help my reaction. They’re ruining any emblem of sanity I thought I once had, because I find this adorable.
This big, burly man has my fucking name tattooed over his chest.
“Is it too much?” He asks as he scratches the back of his neck.
I smile. “Not at all. I think it’s cute…”
His shoulders sink with relief. “I planned to tell you before this, but I wasn’t thinking.”
I pat the spot beside me, beckoning him to lie down with me. All three men join me, Roman slides in on my left side, while Maddox takes the right. Kairo is closer to the edge, next to Maddox, and he grumbles as he pulls the covers over him.
“Shut up,” Roman says lightheartedly as he flicks the bedside lamp off.
“I’m sleeping with Thorn tomorrow night.” Kairo proclaims as we settle in.
To appease him, I slide my hand under Maddox’s pillow and intertwine our fingers.
This way, I have a hold on all three of them.
Our bed is warm and comfortable, and I feel fully protected with all three of them crowding around me.
My night terror is a distant memory now as Roman wraps an arm around my waist, fitting my backside perfectly in his lap as he holds me.
Maddox faces me, an arm curled under his pillow as he snakes the other over my hip.
Kairo holds my hand tightly, brushing his thumb over my knuckle as I begin to lull.
Going to sleep is always the hardest for me.
I usually spend the first hour tossing and turning with the lurking suspicion of whether I’ll have a bad dream.
But tonight, I can feel the relaxation weighing me down.
It could be how tightly I’m snug between them, but it calls me to sleep much quicker than any other night.
As I begin to drift, all I can think of is how perfectly I fit between them, and how I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sleep alone again.
Not after tonight.