Chapter 33
AJ
Life. It’s pretty great so far. I’m spending so much time at Kyle’s place that I even have a drawer there now.
The press only takes photos of us when we’re out with the public.
We’ve had no grainy photos exposing our “seedy rendezvous,” which I’m shocked about.
I have even overtaken Kyle in the scoring charts for the league, which he is not happy about—like at all!
He is now claiming that because he’s setting up more goals—which is true—and because he has the worse squad—also true—his goals should count as double, seeing as he’s doing the work of at least two players.
Okay, that’s also kind of true, but I’m not letting him have that point.
Outside of football related things, we are happy.
My mum keeps asking if I feel forever about him.
As I sit across from him now on the living room sofa, with the evening sun shining on his face and making his green eyes shine like emeralds, I can categorically—without a shadow of a doubt—say yes.
Yes, I do feel forever about him. My dad is slowly coming around to the idea, but is still being overprotective.
We have decided to come out together after the European final.
That way, if something happens, it cannot be misconstrued in any way.
Kyle has agreed, but he still needs to tell his parents.
I offered to be there with him when he tells them, but he said it is something he needs to do alone, and I respect that.
The sun moves its way across the room, creating long shadows on the hardwood floor. Kyle is still in his own world, listening to one of his “classic rock” albums on his vinyl player. I breathe out a sigh of contentment and put my legs under his.
He strokes my inner thigh with the tips of his fingers, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I move closer to him and envelop him in a hug. He leans back, I run my hand through his hair and gently kiss his neck.
“This is nice,” I say, wrapping my arms around him.
“It is,” he says, still staring off into the world.
As happy as I am, I’m still worried about him. He seems distant at times, like he’s waiting for bad stuff to happen. I kiss his neck again, and he leans into it, moaning softly.
“You know I will protect you from anything, right?”
“I do,” he turns to me slightly, and I can see a whole world in his eyes.
A whole swirl of emotions too. Like he’s trying to fight all these battles by himself.
Turning him around, I take his hands in mine and look directly into those big, beautiful eyes.
“I’ve got you. You don’t have to be brave for the both of us.
I’ve known you most of our lives and I’m going to protect you for the rest of it.
You and me, together against the odds. You and me, living out our dreams, and coming home to be in each other's arms. Nothing in this world is going to take this from us. I won’t let it. ”
He looks at me—really looks at me—and his eyes fill up with tears. I place his head on my chest and stroke his hair.
I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but by the time he pulls away, it’s full dark outside.
“Thank you,” he says and plants a kiss on my lips, before heading into the kitchen to make us a drink to take up to our bed.
Game day.
Today is a must win to keep the pressure on Kyle’s team.
He is playing away today against the Singers.
They’re as tough—if not tougher—than my opponents, the Potters.
Gaffer has run through the team talk, making me and my height the focal point against the smaller opposition.
He hasn’t asked me to take a dive again like he used to.
He must have seen how much it affected me.
Whatever his reasons are, I’m thankful for it.
We run onto the pitch, and we are serenaded with our traditional song. The fans are in full voice today, and they quickly start chanting my name as I sprint to the center circle.
The tackles come flying in thick and fast, and the ref shows some early yellow cards.
Every time I have a chance to shoot on goal, I’m closed down.
Every time I try to spread the ball out to the wingers, I’m pressed by two or three players.
It’s bloody frustrating. I can’t do fuck all.
I take a deep breath; this is exactly what they want.
They want me to lose my cool. People have been trying to rattle me all season, and I’ve not let them have a nibble.
Fuck. I’m so focused in my head that I give the ball away. I try to chase them down, but they have already played a great ball over the top of our defense. Fuck. They’ve scored. I run my hands down my face in frustration and let out a scream.
“It’s all right. We still have time,” Millers says, patting me on the back.
With virtually the last kick of the game, I finally find myself one on one with their keeper, but I shank my shot wide. Much to the delight of the away fans.
Defeat—and I can’t help but feel it’s all my fault.
0–1. I’m the striker, I should be scoring the goals. I’ve failed today.
I head into the changing room. I pull out my phone with the intention of checking the scores and to see how Kyle’s team got on. I see instead that Kyle has texted me, and my heart speeds up with worry.
My ??
I’m telling my parents tonight.
AJ
You know where I am, if you need me.
My ??
I’m hoping you’ll be in our bed, waiting for me.
AJ
You can count on it
My ??
P.S…WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE, SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!
AJ
??
My ??… and a bit of a tosser
??
I put my phone away, get changed, and drive to his house, where Trish has lovingly made dinner for me.
I move the food around on my plate, my thoughts elsewhere. The food is good, it’s some kind of wild rice and chicken with a zesty rub handmade by Trish. It’s certainly better than the food I cook myself.
“Still thinking about the game or do you have other matters on your mind?” Trish says from across the table.
“A bit of both,” I say truthfully. I’m still a little pissed about the game, but I want to know how Kyle is doing, how his parents are handling the talk, if he’s had it yet, etc., etc.
“Well, you can’t control any of it, if it makes you feel better. The game is over and you lost. And Kyle’s parents will react in a way they see fit.”
“If you’re going for the pep talk kind of thing, I have to say, my pep has left the building.”
“I’m being realistic,” she says, taking a sip of her drink before continuing.
“The only thing you can do about the game now is focus on being better next game. Learn from it and carry it forward. With Kyle’s parents, the most important thing is to be there for him no matter what happens.
You know what he’s like—you’ve known him most of his life.
Be there for him when he’s ready to open up. ”
She’s right. Of course, she’s right.
“Until he gets home, try and relax. You can start by cleaning the dishes.” She drops me a wink.
“Hey, I’m a guest here, I shouldn’t have to do that,” I say, getting up and collecting the plates.
“No guest spends more time here than you. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but besides Mel, you’re the only guest that’s ever been here. I don’t think he will take too kindly to you calling yourself a guest either.”
“Do you think he wants to be more?” I ask in hope.
“Wow, guys really are thick, regardless of their sexuality.”
I blink at her, the words smacking me across the face like a sheet of ice. “What? Wait. He’s never said he wants to be more than we actually are…whatever this is…”
“He talks about you all the time, stalks your results like an internet troll, mopes around the house when you’re not here. Yeah, I think he wants more.”
I grin from ear to ear.
“And don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look either or how obsessed you are with his smile.” She drops me a wink. “You really shouldn’t leave your phone unlocked while on social media, it’s a cute handle, I’ll give you that.”
“Does he know I’m ‘Kylessmile?’” I ask, suddenly this being the most important question in the world.
“I sincerely doubt it, but maybe you should tell him. I know he appreciates the positivity from that account.”
I scrape the leftover food from the plates into the bin, run the sink with hot water and bubbles, and look in the cupboards for some rubber gloves.
I manage to find a vibrant pink pair, and the look I get from Trish is priceless.
“What? I don’t want the gross food to be soggy and wet in my hands and get under my fingernails. That’s an ick.”
“He says the exact same thing, that’s why he has around two dozen packs under the sink,” she says with a smile. “Finish this up and we’ll chill on the sofa with a movie until he comes home.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I say as I continue to wash the dishes and then wipe the counters down. My thoughts are fully back on Kyle and how he is holding up.