18. Natalie
Natalie
“Luke,” I splutter, frozen in shock.
I didn’t tell anyone he was coming. He didn’t tell me he was coming. And now here he is, and—thanks to what he just said—everyone thinks he’s simply late.
My eyes blink rapidly. I didn’t even tell any of them I was married. And I left my ring at the bed-and-breakfast, stashed at the bottom of my makeup bag.
“Is this the Luke?” asks Mom in surprise.
Luke waves at the group sitting around the table. He’s never seen a single one of these people before, except through photos.
“Yes ma’am,” he says smoothly. “I’m the Luke. Natalie’s husband.”
Mom’s mouth drops open. “I’m sorry, what? Natalie, you’re married?” Her head whips to me, as does everyone else’s when they hear the news.
“I … um—” I stutter, slowly rising from my chair. “Yes, I’m married.”
Juliet looks hurt, her eyes bouncing between me and Luke. “Of all the things you said about Florida, you didn’t mention getting married.”
I turn to Luke, who’s looking slightly uncomfortable now as the center of attention.
His golden hair lays in long wavy folds over his ears, and his five-o’clock shadow is a glorious thing to look at, even in the low glow of the porch lights.
He wears beige slacks that are wrinkled from travel, and the sleeves of his light blue dress shirt are rolled up to his forearms. The top two buttons are undone, like the journey to get here left him itching for comfort.
Tan skin peeks out, and I have to avert my eyes from his chest. He always dresses well, which I’ve always appreciated in a way that makes my blood sing.
But here, on a trip to the backwoods of Pennsylvania where everyone simply wears T-shirts and jeans, Luke’s tailored outfit looks out of place.
“Natalie?” Mom’s voice cuts into my assessment of him.
“Yes,” I repeat, still stunned by seeing Luke here. I can’t take my eyes off him, even when I finally tell my parents, “We got married when we were twenty.”
Mom gasps, and I finally pull my gaze away from Luke in favor of meeting the eyes of both my parents.
“You’ve been married for that long?” Mom’s fingers twitch as she counts the years between when I left, got married, and now. “You’ve been married for seven years?”
I bite my lower lip. “Yup.” My voice is higher than I intend it to be.
Everyone is silent as they take in this new information, eyes scanning one another’s reactions.
Finally, Luke steps toward my dad, extending his right hand to him. “Luke Hamilton,” he says. “You must be Nat’s father.”
Dad stands from his seat at the table and shakes his hand. “Kent Berns.” Dad grips Luke’s hand a little longer than necessary, but I can’t read his face.
“I’m Natalie’s mom,” says Mom, extending her hand, all smiles and excitement as the shock wears off. “Call me Shirley.” Her smile reaches her eyes as she leans over the table to reach him.
“It’s nice to meet you.” He shakes her hand and then Juliet’s next. “You must be Juliet, Nat’s sister?”
“That’s right. It’s good to finally meet you.” She gestures to the table. “I’m sorry, we weren’t expecting you. But we have plenty of burgers left if you’re hungry.”
“Oh, no.” He shakes his head as he smiles, moving his hands to his hips. “That’s fine, thank you. I grabbed a quick dinner at the airport.”
“Did you just get here?” Cam asks from the doorway where he’s been watching the entire time.
Luke turns to him, taking a step back as he does.
His cologne reaches my nose with the movement, and I gladly take a breath.
“Yes, sir. There was a bit of chaos with the flights, but I drove straight here when I landed.” Luke looks at me, a corner of his mouth lifting, and I watch like a doe in headlights as his eyes dip to my shorts and up over my bare shoulders.
My stomach feels like an eagle nose-diving through the air, plummeting at a hundred miles an hour.
“Well, I hope you can stay a few days.” Cam claps him on the shoulder like they’re already fast friends.
“It’s great to meet the brother-in-law I didn’t know I was missing.
I gotta run upstairs to take care of the rascals.
We have two, and one might be pummeling the other right about now.
I hope you’ll be sticking around for a while.
I’d love to take you fishing and get to know you before you head out of town. ”
Luke shakes his hand, accepting his offer to fish if he has the time, and Cam steps back inside and disappears.
I’m speechless. Luke is here in Maple Lake. He’s here at my sister’s house. He just met my parents. Everything has happened so quickly, and I didn’t have time to prepare myself for any of it. My heart pounds in my ears, my chest tightening.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” I say finally, watching my husband as my brain focuses on this one single thought.
He steps closer and takes my hand, his skin warm against mine. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Awww,” Mom coos. She stares at us like we’re a dream she’s been chasing forever. “That’s just the sweetest thing. Surprises are so special.”
I force myself to smile, afraid if I say more I’ll break into a million pieces with an audience watching. Luke’s eyes dissect mine as I look up at him, and I know he can see that I’m feeling overwhelmed. He’s always been able to sense my emotions.
He turns to the whole family. “I hope it’s okay if we call it a night. Traveling drains me. I promise I’m usually much better company.” My parents look at one another with smiles on their faces. Surprisingly, even Dad seems happy.
Juliet stands, stacking the dirty plates.
“Not a problem,” she answers. “Maybe you guys can come over again tomorrow?” She pops her hip out and points at Luke.
“Natalie told us you’re a property investor.
Cam and I have a rental cabin, and we could use some pointers on marketing, if you don’t mind giving us a few tips.
” She raises her eyebrows. To anyone else it would sound like an innocent request. But to me—even all these years later—I see it as Juliet’s version of saying you owe us this.
Luke took her sister away; now the least he can do is lend a hand.
Luke rests his hand on the skin of my upper back, and I feel the pleasure of it radiate through my body. “I’d love to help,” he says, his eyes sparkling. “Anything for Nat’s family.”
I smile through the tension. Luke loves talking about work, and I love that he loves his job. But I wonder if Jules will make this easy or use his expertise to make his life hell.
“I appreciate that.” Juliet smiles at him, then winks at me when he looks away.
The little girl under my skin leaps, and a hint of our old connection floods through my body as I catch a glimpse of the relationship we once had a long time ago.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
A smile tugs at my lips. Luke pulls me to his side, and I lean into the warmth of him.
I have everything right here in this moment—my family and Luke.
So I let myself feel full just for a moment because I know it can’t always be like this.
My husband and I still have much to talk about before anything is the way it should be.
But he came … for me.
With this flood of oneness filling me up and pouring through my veins, I realize with full clarity that I want to fight for us.
My five days away from Luke has opened my eyes to things I didn’t understand until now.
Like the fact that I can’t not love him, even if I try.
He’s a part of me; he always has been. And even though we don’t see eye to eye on having kids, it’s something I want to work around in order for our relationship to thrive.
But it’s how we pursue a life together from here on out that will determine if I can see past my desire to be a mom or if he can meet me where I am.
In the past few days I’ve realized I missed PA more than I thought I did—this town, the mountains, the scents and sounds of nature in a forest. It’s so vastly different from what I’ve gotten used to at the beach.
I never expected to come back to Maple Lake, but I always hoped to one day see my family again.
“Are you okay?” Luke’s voice is husky as he slides his hands over my shoulders, pulling me back against his chest. In the bedroom mirror, I watch as his light eyes turn dark in the glow of the lamp.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I’m just tired, and there’s been a lot going on these past few days.”
He nods and his hands still their motion. “Is it okay that I’m here?”
“In Maple Lake, or in my bedroom?” I meet his eyes in the mirror’s reflection.
His nose brushes my hair. “Anywhere. Both.”
I close my eyes and tip my head back toward his warm breath. “I don’t know. I want to say yes, but I don’t even know what I want anymore. Coming back here was maybe a bad idea.”
He turns me around until I’m facing him, and he holds me gently at my elbows. “Was it, though? Your family looked excited to have you back.”
I let out a deep sigh. “I know. And I’m happy to see them. I mean, I’m happy to be here.” I push a hand through my hair, pulling at it in frustration. “This place just has a lot of memories.”
“Bad memories?” He squints.
I shake my head. “No, not bad memories. Good ones.”
He takes my hands and lifts them so my wrists rest on his shoulders. His fingers slide down to my waist. “You grew up here. You have good memories here. So what’s the problem?”
My teeth find my lower lip, and I give myself a headache with how tightly my brows pinch together.
“It’s hard to explain. I don’t really understand it.
But it’s like I’m two people trying to fit into one body.
Seeing my family again and being here. My brain is just all mixed up between who I was and who I am. ”
“I don’t see two people. I see one strong, impressive woman. The one I fell in love with in this town nearly ten years ago.” He smiles. “It’s almost like fate’s brought us back here to work everything out.”
He walks backward, tugging me along with him until his legs hit the bed and he sits on the edge.
I want to fall into him, but we haven’t made it back to that point yet.
Luke notices my reluctance as my body stiffens, and he loosens his grip on my waist. I stand between his knees, my hands resting lightly on his forearms.
“Natalie, I love you. And from what I saw tonight, everyone here loves you too. No one wants you to be two people. We just want you to be you, whatever that looks like. I just think—” His words cut off as he takes my hands, sliding his thumbs over my fingers.
He frowns, raises my left hand, and stares at my finger.
“You’re not wearing your wedding ring.” His piercing eyes stare into mine as I pull my hand back. His jaw settles.
In a rush, I turn to the bathroom, where I left my wedding band. “I didn’t want my family asking questions about you or why you weren’t here,” I shout from the bathroom. “I just wanted to deal with one thing at a time.”
Digging through my makeup bag, I find both my engagement ring and wedding band sitting at the bottom. The diamonds catch the light as I hold them up as proof that I took care of them—that they were safe.
“See?” I shove them on my finger and come back to him, holding my hand out so he’ll see the rings.
“I just didn’t want to start more drama.
I didn’t want them asking why I left you.
” Tears prick my eyes and heat fills my cheeks, rushing up my neck.
“I’m sorry, Luke,” I say, choking on my cry.
“I’m so sorry I left. I didn’t want to. I got upset and didn’t see how I could stay.
But I don’t want to lose you. Don’t let me go. ”
Luke stands from the bed. His tall frame envelops me, and I sag against him, letting him hold me.
Once again, I’m the one who dealt out hurt on the person I love, yet Luke is the one who’s comforting me.
For the moment I can’t bring myself to care that I’m a terrible person.
I just want to be held together. A little tape here, a hug there.
Even villains want to be cared for, right?
He tugs me onto the bed, and I let him pull me down and tuck my back against his chest. We fall asleep together in our clothes, not bothering to change.
Luke holds me as I cry, and I apologize a million times for leaving.
He soothes me with his voice and tells me he loves me.
He kisses my neck, my cheek, and wraps his arms around me from behind.
We don’t talk about kids. We don’t talk about my family or Maple Lake or what life will look like after tonight. There’s just this moment, and I fall asleep feeling truly safe for the first time all week. And of course, with Luke’s arms protecting me, I don’t have a single nightmare.