30. Natalie
Natalie
On Monday morning, Luke leaves for work.
There’s a house in Atlanta he’s had for five years that’s always in need of repairs.
His property manager Gray is supposed to take care of everything, but he’s a thirty-something-year-old teenager, who needs to hold Luke’s hand whenever something big comes up.
I told Luke he should just sell the house since it’s more trouble than it’s worth or fire Gray and hire someone who can actually get the work done.
But Luke hates giving up on anything. You tell him something won’t work out, and he’ll prove you wrong.
And, unfortunately for us at the moment, Gray is out with a broken arm. Luke has no choice but to go to Atlanta. Stupid Gray.
Luke will be gone for three days. My brother Tyler is coming to Maple Lake on Thursday, so I made Luke promise to be back by then. I hope they get along. It would mean the world to me for Tyler to befriend his brother-in-law.
The more I think of it, the more it sounds weird that my siblings have had a brother-in-law for seven years that they’ve never met.
I mentally add that to the list of things I’ve done wrong.
My phone pings, so I rest my thermos of hot matcha on the wicker coffee table beside me. I’ve taken to drinking my morning matcha—and occasionally coffee—on the front porch; it’s relaxing, and the fresh air clears my head.
Glancing at my phone, I see there’s a new text from Juliet that says hiking this afternoon?
My shoulders slump, but my heart tells me I should be excited about this.
If I’m being honest, I’m still a little shaken from the trail ride.
After experiencing the scare of my life, Luke and I came straight back to the cabin.
We didn’t go anywhere the rest of the day, or the next.
I’ve been a nervous wreck thinking of all the terrible things that could have happened if Luke hadn’t come back for me.
Sleeping has been a struggle in the past, but right now it’s nearly impossible. The nightmares seep in as soon as I drift off, and I’m jolted awake at the image of myself falling. Only this time there are hooves clomping down around me, caging me in.
I wish the sleeping pills had worked years ago when the doctor prescribed them. I wish they didn’t make the nightmares worse when I finally fell asleep.
I run a hand through my loose hair, wincing when I accidentally touch the spot where hair got ripped out on a passing branch. It didn’t bleed, and I don’t have a bald spot, but my scalp is sore. Like the dull ache you get when you’ve worn your hair in a high ponytail for too long.
I glance back at my phone, picking it up from the table. Hiking doesn’t involve horses; for that I’m grateful. I text Juliet back, hoping this will be the beginning of a new friendship and the mending of a broken sisterhood.
Me: Hiking sounds great! I need a distraction. Luke is on a work trip for a few days. Should we meet at your house?
Jules: Meet me at Le Fou. I’m meeting with Ali for coffee first. But I’ll be ready to go at 2:00. Can you drive?
Me: Definitely. *thumbs-up emoji*
I’m glad to have plans with Juliet. We haven’t hung out just the two of us yet, and I know we have a lot to talk about. Maybe she’ll fill me in on why she’s been so distant.
A bird flutters from a tree, startling me as it lands on the porch railing, tilting its head in curiosity.
With nature all around me, I can see why Cam loves this cabin and why he doesn’t want to get rid of it.
It’s in the perfect location for someone looking for a mountain vacation, somewhere secluded and peaceful.
With careful movements, I reach for my camera where it rests on the little table.
I click it on and bring it to my face. The bird—a fat robin with a brownish back and orange belly—hops along the rail, either oblivious to my movements or sensing I’m not a threat.
I snap a few photos, the camera clicking as it captures the bird’s wings mid-ruffle.
I lower the f-stop to blur the green leaves in the background and enhance the bird’s colors, and I smile as I review it on the screen. It’s a great picture.
I snap another photo, this time with my cell phone, and send it to Emma. She texts back immediately.
Emma: Oh, the American Robin. That’s like the seagull of PA, right?
I laugh and click on the green icon to FaceTime her.
“Basically,” I say, beaming at her bright, freckled face when it appears. “Robins are everywhere. That and chickadees, which are actually pretty cute. How’s Ceecee?”
“She misses you, but she’s good,” Emma says. Her long black hair rests in a braid over her shoulder. “I signed us up for a mommy-and-me dance class. We have the second class this morning.”
“Aww, that’s so cute! How’s she liking it?”
Her nose twitches. “She doesn’t really understand what’s going on.” She laughs, and the sound is like a calming ocean wave. “But it’s cute to see her try. She’s too young for coordination, and it’s adorable.”
“Send me pictures! I can’t wait to get back to see you both.”
Ceecee whines in the background. “Hold on.” There’s rustling off the screen as Emma leans out of view. A second later she’s back. “Sorry about that. Ceecee needed her water bottle. How’s everything with your family? Last time we talked, you said Juliet was keeping her distance.”
I’ve texted Emma about everything, and we were able to talk on the phone a couple of times since I got to Maple Lake, but she’s busy at the salon—and of course with her daughter when she’s not at work.
I sigh. “I don’t know, Emma. She doesn’t always act like she wants me here, but then she invited me hiking today. We’re going this afternoon, so I guess that’s a step in the right direction.”
“That’s great! It sounds like she’s trying. I’m sure it’s hard for her. She probably thought she’d never see you again, and now she’s not sure how to act. I know that would be hard for me if I were her.”
I hum. “Maybe.”
“Have you seen your brother yet?” Little hands grab at Emma’s long black hair. Ceecee gets lifted into her lap, cheesy orange fingers clapping.
“Hi, Ceecee!” I squeal, waving through the phone.
Ceecee gives me a toothy smile, and then proceeds to ignore me for her cheese crackers.
My matcha warms my throat as I take a sip. “Tyler’s coming on Thursday,” I say, answering Emma’s question. “Cam and Jules are going to grill dinner, and Ty’s bringing his girlfriend. Apparently she’s a couples therapist or something.”
“Oh,” says Emma. One perfectly manicured brow arches up her forehead. “I’d love to be a fly on the wall at that barbecue.”
I laugh, setting my cup down. “It’s not like Luke and I will be talking to her about our ‘problems.’” I make finger quotes by my head with one hand. “We’ve been making progress on our own. He actually said he’s been thinking about having kids.”
“Really?” She shakes her head. “He’s been so adamant about not having kids, I’m really surprised. But, I mean, great for you, of course! What had him saying that?” She leans toward the screen as Ceecee changes her mind about being held and slides to the floor.
“Believe it or not, I think being around my family—especially my nephews—has been really good for him. Sort of eye-opening, you know? He’s impressed with how Cam is as a father and how he treats the boys.
And Luke actually looks like he really enjoys being around the kids.
They love him. It’s …” I trail off in thought, remembering his words from the other day as we imagined what our own kids might look like one day.
“It’s encouraging,” I finish. “It’s really sweet to see him that way. ”
“That’s really great, Nat.” Emma smiles, her big blue eyes shining on the screen. “I hope it all works out for you. Seriously. You’d be an amazing mother.”
A huge grin pulls at my lips. “Thanks, Em.”
“And,” she adds, “how’s the summer in Maple Lake? Have you guys done anything fun lately?” She moves around her kitchen before propping her phone against something sturdy.
I tell her about the horse incident and how terrified I was. She gasps when I tell her that a tree ripped out some of my hair.
“You could have gone bald,” she says, both hands pressed to her cheeks.
I roll my eyes but allow myself to smile at the crazy situation. “Let’s be real, Em. I could have been decapitated.”
“Oh my gosh, you totally could have been. But I’d still be friends with you.” She shrugs. “Head or no head.”
“Thanks, Emma. That’s probably the nicest thing I’ve ever been told.” She cackles, which in turn makes me laugh more. “I miss you,” I say on a sigh.
“I miss you too. But this trip has been good for you. Even if you did start it off on the wrong foot. And I’m glad Luke decided to go after you when I talked to him. This would have all been very different if he hadn’t. Thank you for not turning off your location sharing with me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh please, don’t pretend you didn’t know I helped him chase you down.” Her black braid slides off her shoulder as she shakes her head.
“I really didn’t know,” I whisper. “You told him to come after me?”
She leans her elbows on the counter and is silent for a whole ten seconds. “Don’t be mad, okay? You needed him. I could hear it in your voice, even when you said you didn’t want him there. I knew you did.”
“I’m not mad,” I say quickly. “I’m … grateful actually. Thank you.” I tug my legs under me, trading the phone to my other hand.
Relief shows on her face. “Of course. What are best friends for besides telling your husband where you’re hiding? He needed Juliet’s address somehow, and I was able to send him your location when you got to that dinner.”
I’d totally forgotten that we share our locations on our phones. I’d turned off that setting for Luke so he couldn’t see where I was when I left, but I never imagined Emma would send him the address. Now it makes sense how he found me at Juliet’s house.
It takes a few seconds of silence for me to process all that’s transpired since I got here, and Emma clears her throat, pulling me back. “Are you sure you’re not mad about it?”
“Definitely not.” I shake my head. “If you hadn’t told him to follow me, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Maybe I still wouldn’t be with Luke. He probably wouldn’t have come here, and we wouldn’t be having discussions about children. You telling him to come here was the best thing.”
“Well, no—wait. I didn’t tell him to go there.
I mean, I encouraged him to, yes. But it was all his idea to go find you.
The day I went to check on him, he asked about you.
I only said that you were struggling, which clearly you were.
I mean, you literally left. And then he got a look in his eye and said he had to go find you.
I just sent him your location when he landed in Pennsylvania. ”
The day he showed up, I wondered how he knew exactly where to find me.
But with everything going on between us and my family, asking him about it didn’t seem important.
If I had been at the bed-and-breakfast, he would have shown up there because that’s the location Emma would have had.
If I were on the lake, he would have been waiting on the shore when I got back.
I know he would have showed up wherever I was at that moment because that’s who he is—he never gives up.
To know he flew all the way to PA without even knowing exactly where I’d really be is another layer added to all the reasons Luke is the perfect man for me.
He doesn’t give up when things get hard.
He’s a problem solver. Things work out for him because he pushes through.
And he does it all for me because he loves me.
My heart swells.
“Thanks for telling me,” I say. “It means a lot that you helped him get here.”
After a few more minutes, Emma has to go help Ceecee, who’s started crying. When she hangs up, I text Luke.
Me: I miss you.
He’s in the air at this point, flying over the clouds in a distant plane somewhere. And I can’t wait to have him back in my arms as the thread that ties me to him cinches around my beating heart.