46. Natalie
Natalie
I’m glad I brought extra clothes to change into. Coming over to Jules’s house wasn’t a part of our day’s plans, but when Luke said Tyler had some kind of surprise for Sandra, I knew I had to be here.
With my leg draped over Luke’s, I lounge back on the patio chair, letting the sun bake me a little more than it already has.
I really have missed the Florida sun and all the beaches, like I told Luke, but there’s something to say about the way the sun feels almost as good here in Pennsylvania when I’m by the water.
I’ve never been a fan of lakes, opting for salty ocean breezes and fine sand between my toes, but the lake behind Juliet’s house is beautiful and serene.
Today the water is a deep blue, framed with freshly mowed green grass and tall sturdy maple trees.
The surface of the water, sparkling in the afternoon sunshine, rests perfectly still as the air provides no breeze.
Jules pokes my arm, taking a seat in the vacant chair beside me. “We should do this every summer. You’ll come back for stuff like this, right?”
My eyes soften at the corners as I look at her. I nod. “Yeah. I’ll be back every year for a sibling summer.”
Ty throws a fist in the air. “Sibling summer! Yes, dude!” He claps Luke on the back. “You’re officially a sibling, bro.”
“Thanks, man. I’m glad to be here.” Luke’s blue eyes shine.
I feel guilty that I kept our families apart all this time. Luke slid perfectly into this world, and it’s my fault he never got to know his in-laws sooner.
I watch him with intensity, so much so that when I hear my name called, I have to shake my head and blink to come back to the moment.
“What? Who called me?” I say, looking around for the voice.
“I did,” says Ty. “You were doing something weird with your face. Also, can you get your camera? Where is it?”
“It’s in the car. What do you want me to take photos of?”
“You’ll see.” A playful smirk graces his lips, and his eyes dart to Luke’s.
I look between them. “Do you know what this is about?” I ask Luke.
He shrugs. “Maybe.”
I lift a scrutinizing eyebrow at his secrecy. “Are you keeping secrets from me?”
He grins, his eyes warm. “Just get the camera,” he whispers. “I promise you’ll want to shoot this one.”
After a few seconds of searching his face, I say, “I’ll be right back.” I retrieve my camera from the car, thankful I bring it just about everywhere with me. I took photos of the six of us after our float down the river, with plans to frame one when I get back to my house in Fort Lauderdale.
Camera in hand, I step back out onto the back porch.
Sandra exits the house behind me, looking around for a seat at the table, but Tyler stands, waving us all down the steps toward the yard.
“Let’s go down by the water.” He grabs Sandra’s hand. She looks adorable in a frilly light blue dress that reaches just above her knees and white sandals that sport a big leather bow on each foot.
“Should we bring chairs down?” she asks him, following him down the stairs.
“Nah” is the short reply he gives.
We all stand, Mom and Dad included, and Cam calls for the boys through the screen door. Their footsteps travel through the house until they’re in front of me.
“What are we doing?” Levi looks around expectantly, spotting his uncle on the lawn below. “Are we playing football?”
“I don’t know yet,” I say truthfully. I have a hunch, but I haven’t been told any details, so I follow the crowd downstairs.
Archie looks up at me with big round eyes. “Can you carry me?”
I chuckle. “Sure, bud. Just hold on tight, okay?”
I heft him into the air and rest him on my hip.
It isn’t easy since he’s four and pretty solidly built as far as kids go, but I manage to grip him tightly with one arm and rest the other hand on the wooden railing, making my way slowly down the ten steps.
When we reach the ground, he squirms from my arms to walk beside me.
He slides his little hand into mine, and my heart skips a beat.
I want this, I think. But I also know in my heart that Luke and I are in a good place now, with or without kids. I don’t want to mess anything up anymore.
Tyler and Sandra step onto the dock as the rest of us reach the water.
I stand back, waiting for a cue or something from Tyler, but he’s not looking at any of us.
His tousled blond hair drifts over his brow, and the sun illuminates Sandra’s auburn curls.
Tyler isn’t dressed up in any special way, but he looks nice—put together enough for photos in his tan shorts and deep purple polo.
And then I know exactly what’s about to happen.
I drop Archie’s hand and lift the camera to my eye, a smile cracking across my face.
Sandra and Ty stand in the center of my lens, the blue water and sky framing their bodies.
They’re too far out on the dock for us to hear what they’re saying, but there’s no questioning his motives when Ty bends down on one knee and produces a little box from his pocket.
I click away on my camera, trigger-happy at seeing my brother proposing to the love of his life.
Mom gasps, and Juliet’s sniffles are heard nearby.
Sandra’s hands cover her mouth as she smiles.
She nods frantically, and when Ty removes the ring from the box, she extends her hand, letting him slip it over her finger.
Mom, Dad, Cam, Jules, Luke, and I all cheer and clap, shouting our congratulations.
Sandra screams with joy, fanning her face and kissing Ty.
Luke appears beside me, sliding a hand across my lower back. I’m almost in tears, overjoyed for my brother and his future bride, but also thankful that I can be here for this moment with Luke by my side.
Sandra looks back at us, seeming to notice the whole family standing along the edge of the lake for the first time. I continue to take photos of the couple as they walk down the dock toward us, their hands intertwined and smiles glowing on their faces.
Mom embraces Sandra, Dad shakes Ty’s hand, and soon we’re all hugging and laughing and crying. Even Archie and Levi run circles around us, although I don’t think they grasp the significance of the event.
Ty bumps my shoulder with his. “Did you get all that, sis?”
I beam at him. “I got all of it. Even the part when you fumbled with the ring and almost dropped it in the lake.” I wink at him.
“Yeah, that would have been a bummer, huh?” He runs a hand through his hair. “Thanks for taking the photos. I know Sandra will want to have them.”
“Of course. I’m happy I got to be here for this.” I hug him.
“You were right,” he says. “About just going for it. Making it official. Thanks for the talk.”
I just smile at him, feeling like the proudest sister in the world.
Sandra walks up and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
I hug her back—my new sister. “Congratulations,” I sing. “Did you know this was going to happen today? You look amazing.” I gesture to her dress as she steps back, linking her arm with Ty’s.
“No. I had no idea. I’m just glad I packed something more than athletic shorts and flip-flops.” She looks up at him with the happiest smile.
“Babe, you’d look amazing in anything,” Ty says. She swats at his chest, and he tips down to kiss her, pulling her chin toward him with a gentle hand.
“I’ll just be …” I thumb my hand toward the house, but they don’t bother looking up, lost in their kiss. I can’t blame them.
I leave them to their private moment, stepping across the grassy yard while tapping through the photos I captured on my camera.
Luke appears, brushing his hand against the lower part of my back once more. I secretly can’t get enough of all the ways he keeps touching me.
My eyes lift to him. “So you knew this was going to happen today?”
He shrugs. “Ty said he had a surprise for Sandra and wanted us to be here, but I didn’t know what it was. I had a hunch, though.”
“You know,” I say, lowering my voice. “This basically happened because of me,” I joke. “I’m the mastermind behind getting him to propose.”
“How so? They’ve been dating for, like, seven years, Nat. Getting hitched was bound to happen at some point.”
I shove him with my arm. “Yeah, but I talked to him at the fair about why he hadn’t popped the question yet. We had a little heart-to-heart.”
“Little sister advice. I like it. What was his reason for waiting so long?”
“He was scared.”
He screws up his face. “Tyler? Scared? That guy doesn’t seem scared of anything.”
“It seems that way because he’s so outgoing and funny. But he said he was nervous about the stuff that comes after the proposal. He wasn’t scared of marriage or the wedding itself, really, just the planning and how stressful all that might get.”
“But the bride does most of the planning,” he says. “What’s there for the groom to be scared of?”
I scoff. “That may be true—although it shouldn’t be. Brides need all the help they can get, especially from their groom.” I give him a pointed look, and his footsteps slow as we reach the wooden steps to the porch above. I stop to look up at him.
“Tyler said he was nervous about how planning the wedding and waiting for the actual wedding day might turn Sandra into a bridezilla. He didn’t want to see her change.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t happen to everyone. It’s only a few brides who actually act like that, right? It’s more of a reality TV hoax thing. They do it for the show.”
I look across the yard to where Mom and Dad have started kicking a soccer ball with the boys. Bright smiles reach across each of their faces, and Jules and Cam stand by the lake talking with Ty and Sandra.
“Sometimes,” I say. “But sometimes the reaction to big changes and the stress of it all is real.” I pause, forming my next words carefully.
“I can’t help comparing his reasoning with the way you see the potential of losing a baby.
He was scared of the in-between, just like you.
But he took a leap of faith, trusting it will all turn out the right way.
Not every bride turns into a bridezilla, and not every pregnancy ends badly. ”
I reach out and rest my palm, featherlight, against his cheek. He hasn’t shaved in a few days, and the scruff prickles at my skin. He’s quiet, watching me. Taking me in.
“I just want you to know, I’m not afraid of the in-between,” I say.
“I’d be with you through whatever happens.
If we have a healthy, perfect baby, we’d be the happiest people on Earth.
And if we get the chance to raise a child who maybe needs a little more help and love than others, we’d be equally as blessed.
I don’t know what will happen if we try, but I also know I won’t let myself change.
I know you don’t want to imagine losing a baby, but if it happens, I’ll be okay.
I have you, and you have me. We’re a team.
I’m not saying we have to have kids anymore—I’m not giving you an ultimatum.
I’m simply saying everything good usually comes after a leap of faith. ”
He looks at his shoes, then up at the clouds floating across the blue sky. I watch him as he thinks, the thoughts all silently crossing his face as his tongue presses against his teeth and the shadow under his brows deepens.
“I don’t want you to be afraid,” I say.
“I don’t want to be afraid,” he murmurs. “But I need some more time. Maybe I need therapy, or just to talk to my mom about it. Get it all out of my head—I don’t know.”
My teeth catch my lower lip as I chew on it, my anxiety showing itself. Luke’s hand moves to my face, and I shiver as he brushes his thumb over my lip. The touch is so gentle, so tender.
“Can I have more time?” he asks.
I nod. “I’ll be here when you’re ready. You don’t have to be afraid I’ll leave again. I’m not running anymore, no matter what you decide. I promise.”