Chapter 5 Noah
Five: Noah
Guilty as Sin? - Taylor Swift
“Is Paul coming with her?” I ask Connor as I put my wallet into my pants pocket, trying to act casual despite the fact I’ll be seeing Audrey tonight for the first time in years.
“Apparently.” Connor sounds annoyed as he gels back his dark hair.
A part of me wants to pry, but I know that will be like opening Pandora's box. He’s been off since he called her the other day, and I know Connor likes to internalize—especially when it comes to Audrey.
We’ve always had that in common.
Audrey might be my best friend's little sister, but I don’t think she ever realized I considered her my best friend too.
She was never subtle about her crush, but I think I somehow managed to be.
I love Connor, but so many of my favorite memories include her. She always tagged along with us and tried to “show off” in front of us. It’s like she didn’t realize that she could show up in a paper bag, sit on a rock for twelve hours, and I still would’ve adored her.
Numerous people told me they thought the two of us would be a good fit, but I didn’t want to lose Audrey as a friend.
Yet somehow I still did.
Distance doesn't do good for anyone, that's what I told myself when I got into college, and again when I was drafted to the Texas Rangers. My dad “kindly” taught me that lesson in eighth grade when he packed his bags and we never heard from him again.
That’s what I was telling myself when I called Audrey drunk all those years ago.
She’d be fine if I just kept my distance.
“Okay, let’s go,” Connor says, grabbing his keys. “We’ll be late.”
No, we won’t.
The Mendez family are sticklers for being early. Thirty minutes early is considered being on time in that household.
I won’t complain though, it’s been almost three years since I’ve seen Audrey in person. We got word a few weeks ago that I’ll be joining Connor in Kansas City, playing on the Royals, and Connor wants us to tell her the news together before pre-season starts and news officially breaks.
When I asked him why she’d care after all these years of barely talking, he gave me a smug smile and said, “Because, it’s you.”
I know he meant it’s because I’m part of the family and they just want to celebrate, but my heart wants to believe something else.
That we’re still destined for each other.
I’ve always maintained the hope that we’d end up together someday. But, I know that me moving away and never telling her how I felt made me lose her.
That and Paul.
And the damn phone call.
Now, it’s too late to go back to rewrite history and I have to live with that regret.
I have to live knowing that I’ll never find another love like hers.
Connor and I drive through the city chattering about his parents' current pickleball obsession but a weird energy fills the car, making me wonder if this is actually a good idea.
When Bert’s Steakhouse comes into view, a subtle knot forms in my stomach.
I’m suddenly nervous to see her, especially with Paul in tow.
Everything I know about this version of Audrey is what I’ve seen on social media or overheard from phone conversations with Connor.
We’ve texted over the years—mostly birthday wishes and holiday greetings, but it's never been enough for me.
Not seeing her every day has felt as if a chunk of my heart is missing.
I hated every minute of the day I first met Paul because he was holding her hand and kissing her.
He had what I so desperately wanted.
I’ve tried to date other people over the years but none of them lived up to my expectations. None of them loved baseball the way she did, or kicked my ass at Mario Kart or stayed up all hours playing cards with me.
None of them felt like home to me.
Connor parks the car and we move to stand outside the restaurant. He taps his foot anxiously, even though we’re ten minutes early.
“I’m surprised she didn’t beat us here,” I comment. Connor is usually the “tardy” one in the family—though still always early.
“Paul's slow to wrangle sometimes,” Connor mumbles while scanning the street, the overprotective brotherly tone is hard to miss.
Connor and Paul have never been best buds by any account, but it’s strange for Connor to be so on edge.
I’ve known him for over twenty years, and he’s been mad all of six times.
He’s always hidden his distaste for Paul from Audrey pretty well.
After she followed him to college in Chicago, Connor and I rarely talked about them.
I never knew if he was trying to protect me, but I appreciated not hearing about their relationship nonetheless.
I catch a familiar figure in my peripheral vision and my heart starts to race.
I see her before she sees us. My eyes land on her face, expecting to see her million-dollar smile that I love so much.
Instead, her mouth is in a thin line and her body looks stiff as she says something to Paul, but he doesn’t even glance up from his phone.
It feels wrong—me watching her, while the man she loves doesn’t even seem to notice her existence.
Audrey’s wearing a long black jacket over jeans and bright blue heels, her dark brown hair is tied back from her face in a high ponytail. The beauty radiates off of her the same way it always has, but she looks tired and beaten down.
Then her eyes land on her brother.
“Connor!” Her whole demeanor changes when she notices him. She runs full speed towards her brother with a giant smile and arms wide open. She crashes into him, giving him a tight hug.
“Hey, Auds. You good?” I hear him mumble into her hair as he gives Paul the side-eye.
She nods, straightening up as she pulls back from him, trying to compose herself. “Yup, I just missed you more than I realized.” Her tone is light but her eyes look watery.
I hate seeing her get emotional.
Audrey blinks rapidly when she turns to face me, her big brown eyes sending a shock right to my core, especially when she steps towards me and wraps me into a tight hug. “Hi, No.”
I try to keep my emotions in check when she calls me by her special nickname. One that she hasn't called me since the night of her high school graduation, but as we stand here, it feels like it was only yesterday.
My arms wrap around her quickly, and I try to savor the smell of her lavender perfume as I cling to her, hoping she can’t feel how fast my heart is beating with her head resting against my chest.
A lifetime of memories come flashing back to me.
“YOU CAN’T CATCH ME, NOAH!” A wide smile crosses her face.
“Hey, I wanted the red popsicle! No fair!” Smack to my arm.
“Don’t fall, Noah.” Giggles fill the space.
“There’s a spider. Ew! No, get it! Noooaaah!” She hides behind my back, hands clinging to my shirt.
“Noah, look at all the fireflies, aren’t they pretty?” Twinkling eyes meet mine.
“Happy eighteenth birthday, No.” Soft lips land on my cheek.
As I focus back on reality, I say, “Hi, Auddie, long time, no see. You’ve gotten taller.”
Ignore the sparks. Ignore the way she smells.
Ignore it all, dammit.
“It’s the heels …” She pulls back from me, giving me a playful smile, and I catch a glint in her eye. “You’ve gotten taller, too.”
I look down at my own feet briefly before looking back at her with a smirk. “It’s the heels.”
Without fail, her gaze slips downwards, as if she was expecting to see heels, and a soft giggle follows. “Still a comedian, I see.”
God, I’ve missed her.
But the sight of Paul reminds me to compose myself. I step back from her to shake Paul's hand, hoping I’m not wearing a guilty expression.
The four of us head inside to claim our table.
“How’s work been going, Paul?” Connor asks, barely letting any of us sit down.
Paul finally puts his phone away as I snag the chair across from Audrey.
I force myself to focus on Paul’s face, knowing that if I stare too long at Audrey, my heart will explode or I’ll say something I probably shouldn’t.
“Not bad, keeps me busy.” He shrugs, pulling out the drink menu, clearly disinterested.
He couldn’t even ask about Connor or maintain eye contact?
Connor rolls his eyes before turning his attention to his sister. “How about you? Everything good with you?” He raises an eyebrow at her.
Again, his words are full of hidden meaning.
I let my eyes land on Audrey’s face, noticing that her jaw tenses momentarily.
She nods slowly. “We’re apparently dropping a high profile client soon, so that’s hot gossip for everyone who actually cares about the company.”
Connor and I both chuckle. Audrey has always been a math and technology whiz, she’s the only reason we didn’t fail out of calculus and computers in highschool.
I was surprised when I learned she was working in data entry.
Growing up, I always joked that she could be my accountant when I was in the big leagues, and I’d make all my teammates hire her too.
But math was never her true passion. Not the way baseball is Connor’s and my passion.
Or the way she had been mine.
I stare at Audrey, wondering if she still crafts at all, she always found joy in that. She got a Cricut for her fourteenth birthday and for the last few weeks of summer she spent her time making stickers, mugs and T-shirt designs.
A few times, she even roped me and Connor into helping her make stuff.
She jokingly told me one time that she dreamed of opening a shop for her crochet and Cricut creations. But as she said it she shook her head as if it was a stupid idea, and said math was safer for her to stick with.
I turn my attention back to Audrey, who looks at her brother with admiration. “I’m so glad you had a stopover. I’m tired of weeks or months passing between visits.”
“Yeah, well maybe stop missing my phone calls so often,” Connor replies with raised eyebrows.
Audrey’s cheeks redden the smallest amount. “I’ll try to be better at answering.”