Scarlett
The phone won’t stop buzzing. It’s face-down on my desk, screen flashing like it’s trying to pull me under, every vibration another reminder of him. Of Tyler. Of the words I don’t want to read but can’t stop hearing anyway: slut. liar. Mine.
I pace until my throat burns, until I don’t know if the shaking in my chest is rage or fear. My hands curl into fists like I could punch the sound out of existence. But it doesn’t matter how hard I press my nails into my palms, the messages are still there, waiting.
Kai hasn’t said a word. He hasn’t moved either. He’s just sitting at the edge of my bed, hunched forward, elbows braced on his knees like he’s holding up the weight of the ceiling with his shoulders. His hair falls into his face, hiding him, but I can feel the storm in him, anyway.
The silence claws at me until I can’t stand it. “Kai…” My voice is nothing. Cracked glass.
He doesn’t look up. He doesn’t even breathe like he wants to answer. Then, slowly, his voice drags out of him, rough and ruined.
“I was supposed to protect you.”
I freeze. His words slice me open because they’re everything I don’t want him to say.
“I was supposed to fucking know,” he goes on, voice sharper, like it hurts him to push the words out.
“That’s what a brother is meant to do, right?
Keep you safe. Make sure no one touches you.
Make sure you’re not crying yourself to sleep because of some piece of shit.
” His jaw clenches, a tremor running through his arms. “But I didn’t.
I didn’t see it. I didn’t stop it. I fucking failed you. ”
My throat closes. “Kai, stop—”
He shakes his head, still not looking at me, as if his eyes meet mine he’ll break apart completely.
“Don’t tell me it’s not my fault, Scar. Don’t tell me that.
Because I can’t hear it. I should’ve been there.
I should’ve ripped him apart before he ever had the chance.
Instead…” He drags in a breath, broken at the edges.
“…instead I was too busy being the one who hurt you myself.”
The words rip through me like fire. I want to scream at him that he’s wrong, that I wanted him, that I still want him. But my mouth won’t move. The guilt strangles me too tight.
“It wasn’t you,” I manage to whisper, but it’s drowned in my own sobs. “You didn’t fail me. I did. I let him—”
“Don’t.” His head snaps up then, eyes wild, bloodshot. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for that.”
I flinch, tears burning down my cheeks, because part of me still does. And he sees it. He sees everything.
The silence after is worse than the words. His shoulders quake once, twice, before he forces the words out through his teeth. “I don’t deserve you, Scar.”
And yet, in the way his eyes hold mine, in the way his chest heaves like he’s drowning, I know—deserve has nothing to do with it. He’ll never let me go.
I don’t even remember moving, only the ache in my chest breaking me forward until I’m climbing onto him, knees braced against his thighs, my arms looping around his neck as if I don’t hold on I’ll disappear completely.
He doesn’t stop me. Doesn’t push me away.
Just sits there, wrecked and heavy, like my weight belongs there and destroys him all at once.
His breath shudders hot against my ear.
“You still shouldn’t want me, Scar.” His voice is gravel, hoarse, hollow. “You shouldn’t… fuck, you shouldn’t even be able to look at me.”
My nails curl into the back of his shirt, clinging tighter.
“I’m no good,” he says, broken, like the words cut his throat on the way out.
“I’m supposed to protect you. That’s all I ever should’ve been.
And instead…” His chest rises hard under me, his jaw clenching as he stares past me like the truth is something rotting in the corner.
“Instead, I touched you. I ruined you. I don’t deserve your arms around me. Don’t you get that?”
The tears sting my eyes, spilling fast and silent, because I can’t let go of him even if every word is a knife. My lips press against his shoulder, muffling the sob, and I whisper, “I don’t care. I don’t care, Kai.”
He grips my waist like he’s trying to pry me off, but his hands won’t obey him. His head falls forward against mine, all heat and ruin. “You should hate me. You should push me away.” His voice cracks again, raw, desperate. “You don’t know what I’ll do if you keep holding me like this.”
His head is bent low, hands gripping his thighs as if he lets go he’ll come apart, and maybe that’s what he wants—maybe breaking would feel easier than holding all of this inside. His voice is still hoarse in the air between us, I ruined you, Scar… you shouldn’t want me.
I reach for him anyway. My fingertips brush his jaw, and he flinches like the touch burns, but I don’t stop.
I trace over the line of stubble, his cheekbone, up to his temple, forcing him to lift his eyes.
They’re raw and wild, blue split open with pain, and something inside me clenches so hard I can hardly breathe.
“You’re wrong,” I whisper, leaning in to press my mouth to his temple, soft, desperate. “You think you broke me? You’re the only thing holding me together.”
His breath shudders, but his hands don’t move, fists locked tight. I kiss his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, light and trembling, my voice breaking against his skin. “I do want you, Kai. I don’t care what you say. I don’t care how fucked up it is.”
He shakes his head, but I can feel him unravelling under every touch. His throat works as if he’s swallowing glass. I slide both hands to cup his face, forcing him to look at me. “You don’t get to tell me what I feel. I want you. All of you.”
His hands finally rise, rough palms closing over my wrists, not to push me away but to hold me there, his forehead pressing to mine, his breathing jagged. “Scarlett…” The way he says my name—it’s like he’s begging and warning me all at once.
His breath is a storm against my lips, ragged and broken, and then the restraint tears right out of him. One second he’s clutching my wrists like I’m porcelain, the next he’s shoving me back against the headboard, his mouth crashing into mine.
It isn’t gentle. It’s bruising, punishing, filthy—his teeth scraping, his tongue claiming, swallowing the gasp that rips out of me. My fingers claw into his hair, dragging him closer, because I can’t get enough, not when I’ve just shattered him and he’s shattering me back.
“You shouldn’t—” he growls into my mouth, grinding his body against mine, every word lost to the way I arch under him. His hand fists in my hair, jerks my head back, and his lips are at my throat, sucking, biting, marking. “—but you fucking do, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I sob, and my legs hook around his waist, pulling him closer, daring him to stop lying to himself. “I want you—”
“Say it filthier,” he snarls, dragging his mouth down my collarbone, his hand already sliding between us, rough and claiming, finding me through the thin fabric. His fingers press hard, and I moan so loud I don’t care if the whole damn house hears.
“I need you,” I choke, bucking against his hand, shameless and trembling. “I need your cock, Kai.”
His growl vibrates against my skin, and his fingers tear the barrier aside, slipping over me—hot, slick, desperate. “Fuck, Scar, you’re drenched,” he whispers, filth wrapped in reverence, like he can’t believe it’s real. “All this for me.”
The guilt that was tearing him apart a moment ago is gone, burned to ash by hunger. He’s grinding against me, fingers working me open, his other hand pinning mine above my head. His eyes are feral when they find mine. “Tell me again you want me. Tell me so I never forget.”
His grip on my wrists is bruising, his breath ragged against my mouth like he’s seconds from snapping, and maybe that’s why I do it—why I move. Slow at first, dragging my hips against him, feeling the solid length of him through denim, the heat that pulses between us.
He groans low in his chest, a sound like a warning, but I don’t stop. I grind harder, pressing myself against him until my pulse is a drum in my ears. “See?” I whisper, breath catching. “You feel it too.”
His head falls back against the couch, eyes shut, jaw clenched so tight I think it might crack. “Scarlett—” It comes out like a growl, half-plea, half-threat.
But I roll my hips again, harder this time, dragging myself over him like I need it to survive.
My thighs shake, shame and hunger tangled together, but I can’t stop.
His hands slide from my wrists to my waist, digging in, as if he wants to lift me off—but instead he jerks me down tighter, grinding me cruelly against the thick hardness beneath his jeans.
I gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders, my voice breaking against his ear. “You can say it’s wrong all you want… but your body’s telling the truth.”
His eyes snap open, furious and wrecked all at once, and the way he drags me harder against him nearly rips a sob from my throat.
It’s dangerous, the way I keep moving on him—like every drag of my hips is playing chicken with a live wire. My body begs for fire, and Kai is the match.
His hands are iron at my waist, trying to hold me still but only forcing me down harder. I can feel how hard he is, straining against denim, and the cruel press of it has me whimpering before I can bite it back.
He leans in, his mouth brushing my ear, voice rough enough to scrape my bones. “You want to set me off, Scar? Keep grinding like that. Keep begging me to forget we’re supposed to stop.”
My thighs tremble, but I don’t stop. I rock forward, back, forward again, my clit dragging over the thick ridge in his jeans. Each grind sends sparks through me, shame clashing with heat until I’m dizzy.