Chapter 12
Before Dell returned her host’s body, she walked outside to summon a rideshare. It wasn’t until she opened her rideshare app
that Dell learned the woman’s name. Stella.
“Thank you, Stella,” she said to herself. “I’ll return the favor by saving you from going back to your date.” She punched
in an order and saw a car was one minute away.
Cole stood beside her on the sidewalk, waiting. Given they were fully in public now, not hiding in a freezer, it was best
they didn’t speak in case anyone thought Stella had lost her mind.
When the car pulled up, Dell opened the back door before removing herself from Stella’s body. Stella blinked a few times,
looking dizzy, and then climbed in without a fuss.
“Now what?” Cole asked when Dell turned to him. She was back in her nightie, barefoot, and looking up at his handsome face
framed by the glowing city lights. The thought of how close she’d been to kissing him in the freezer momentarily made her
head swim.
“Now I spiral out thinking of what Jason said about being happy,” she responded with a frown.
The open expression on Cole’s face said he knew that would be a heavy journey, but he was willing to join her and help carry the load. “I noticed you sidestepped his question back there. Is that because you don’t know the answer, or because you don’t want to face the answer?”
Dell turned to him, feeling winded again. “Wow. Way to go for the jugular.”
“Sorry,” he said with a soft laugh. “But I think he might be right. We’ve tried everything else and haven’t gotten anywhere.
Maybe it’s worth considering.”
He might have been right, but Dell wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to consider it. “Before we go down that road, let’s recap what we’ve learned today. Maybe verbalizing the wrong turn will do the trick.”
Cole gave her a look like he could tell she was stalling, but played along anyway. “All right. Well, I’d say your murderous
fiancé was a pretty obvious wrong turn.”
“Ex-fiancé,” Dell corrected.
“Sorry. Ex.”
“And yes, that is obvious. I still can’t even wrap my mind around it. It feels like a movie. People don’t actually plan to off their spouses for personal gain in real life. But apparently, they do. The lesson there is, obviously, Tommy is
not who I thought he is, nor is his mother. But that revelation didn’t bring me back to life.”
“No, it didn’t,” Cole said with a note of dismay. “And quite frankly, prison is too good for him. He deserves much worse for
what he planned to do to you.”
The protective undertone of his voice sent a pleasant tingle up Dell’s spine. She gave him a sly grin. “Is there someone you
could talk to about that? You know, on the . . . other side?”
He may have been an adamant rule follower, but his eyes said he’d willingly cross the line if it meant coming to her defense. “There might be some calls I could make,” he said, and straightened his tie.
“I’d appreciate it,” Dell said, knowing he wouldn’t actually have her ex zapped out of existence but enjoying the thought of it anyway. “So, if sidestepping my own murder isn’t the wrong
turn, where does that leave us?”
“Well, tied to that situation, there is what you’ve discovered about your tendency to pressure yourself into success and achievement.”
She sourly frowned, not liking this lesson. She prided herself on her achievements, but she could admit she got carried away
sometimes. “Okay, fine. Yes, I do hold myself to high standards.”
“Impossible, some might say.”
She shot him a look. “Lesson learned to back off conquering the world. What else is there?”
Cole paused, and then spoke cautiously. “Well, there is the news from Jason.”
Dell winced. “Yeah, pretty bad I didn’t realize my own best friend had aspirations higher than following me and my career.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we see people only in the context we know them best. He’s your best friend first
and foremost. It’s forgivable his career advancement wasn’t top of mind.”
“Still. I feel bad,” she said, feeling like a deflated balloon. “Let’s walk. I think better when I’m moving.”
“I would be worried if I saw you sitting still,” Cole said, and fell into step beside her.
Saturday night in the city glowed and pulsed around them.
Cars whizzing down the one-way streets. Cables crackling above them as the buses with accordion centers inched around corners like lumbering caterpillars.
Pedestrians out for a good time. The occasional late-night dog walk.
Dell should have been cold barefoot and hardly dressed, seeing everyone else was in coats and sweaters, even in summer, but if she wasn’t borrowing someone’s body, the barrier of whatever realm she existed in kept her immune to temperature.
“I also learned two of my closest coworkers are in love,” she said, continuing their task. “I guess I failed to see them outside
of their jobs and realize they are full people with full lives. But that doesn’t seem like something worth holding me hostage
in purgatory over. I also forgot my parents’ anniversary and to congratulate my brothers on finalizing their new real estate
deal. Wow, I’m a jerk. This is not a fun game!” She turned to Cole with a pout.
He let out a little chuckle and placed his hand on her shoulder. His thumb gently traced her collarbone. “Perhaps you could
try being a little more observant of the lives around you,” he said.
Dell nodded. The gentle brush of his thumb had her forgetting what she was upset about. The urge to say yes, sir boiled up inside her. Maybe she was right about him being a teacher of some sort because she’d happily take lessons from him.
He looked at her pouting lip like he might want to bite it. “There’s also what you learned about Robbie,” he said, and, to
her dismay, let go of her shoulder.
“Who?” she said, still spinning.
Cole quietly laughed. “Robbie. You know, the poor kid you’ve possessed multiple times now and have probably sentenced to a
lifetime of therapy?”
“Oh, right. Robbie,” she said, having not forgotten at all.
She’d simply been caught up in the feel of his hand on her skin and the way he was staring at her mouth.
“Yes, he turned out to be nothing like Jason and I thought. He’s caring and weirdly sweet and obviously dealing with a difficult hand in life.
So I guess the lesson there is don’t judge people until you get to know them?
” Her voice pitched up at the end, in hopes voicing this revelation would correct her wrong turn.
But nothing happened.
Cole gave her a half smile, like he’d hoped it would solve their problems too.
“So, to recap,” Dell said, still hoping. “Murderous ex-fiancé, misjudged acquaintance, coworkers in love. Self-inflicted pressure
to achieve at everything. Overlooking my best friend’s aspirations. Not paying enough attention to other people’s lives. Check,
check, check. What else is there?” She looked to Cole again as if he held the answer.
He reached out and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. His soul-deep eyes were open windows she wanted to dive through.
“Perhaps we should circle back to where we started this conversation: Are you happy?”
Could that really be it? she thought. Was her wrong turn that she’d veered off course from her own happiness at some point? She certainly had everything
she needed in life—and a list of impressive accomplishments for someone so young. But had doing all that come at the expense
of even considering if she was happy? She honestly hadn’t ever paused long enough to think about it.
Sure, she liked her life, and was very proud of all the things she’d done.
Cooking and feeding people brought her joy, but when she thought about it, so many of the other things in her life—the restaurant, the book, her house, her engagement, her stake in her family’s company—felt a lot like checking boxes.
And in checking all those boxes, she was only living for the next box.
The target was always moving, and if she kept setting the bar higher and higher and never actually reached it, would she ever be satisfied?
Would she ever feel accomplished? Would she ever be . . . happy?
The heavy thoughts felt like too much to carry on her own. She looked back at Cole with an expression of pure honesty. “I
don’t know,” she told him.
She watched his face crack with an ache that slowly spread. His eyes said he wanted to both answer the question for her and
be the solution. He gently took her hand.
“Are you happy right now?” he asked.
She considered.
Having dinner had made her happy, not just for the menu, but for getting to talk to Cole while they were locked in the freezer
and learn more about him. The hustle and bustle of the city around them was making her happy. The way Cole automatically walked
on the street side of the sidewalk nearer to traffic, as if a reckless car could do any damage to their ghostly bodies, was
making her happy. Holding his hand was certainly making her happy.
It wasn’t hard to see the common thread through it all: Cole.
“Yes,” she told him with a smile.
“Great. Anything I could do to make you even happier?”
They turned a corner and came upon a view of the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance, hovering like a mighty orange soldier guarding the mouth of the bay. At this time of night, the towers were underlit, and a steady stream of traffic made for a golden ribbon going one way and a red one the other.
A wild thought struck Dell.
“Yes. Can we go there?” she asked, and pointed.
Cole followed her extended finger and frowned in confusion. “Where?”
“The bridge. I’ve driven across it a gazillion times and walked across it half as many, but I’ve never climbed on it.” She smiled at him with excitement dancing in her veins.
He looked at her with wide eyes. “You want to . . . climb the bridge? That bridge?” He pointed at it in shock.
“Yes. It’s not like we can fall off and die.”
“True, but, Dell, that’s the Golden Gate Bridge, and it’s . . . very high.”