Chapter 23
Three weeks later Ellie and Becca were in Florida, and the day-to-day felt a million miles away.
Their rental was in Rosemary Beach, a community that had the aesthetic of a very wealthy person's idea of a charming coastal village…
white clapboard, tin roofs, cobbled lanes, bougainvillea everywhere.
It was beautiful in a surreal way, as if someone had designed the town to film a romantic comedy then decided that afterwards they may as well keep going.
“Holy shit,” Becca said when they got to their house, standing at the door with her bag over her shoulder. “Ellie.”
“I know.”
“The pool.”
“I know.”
“The view.”
“I know.”
“The house.”
Ellie laughed. “I know. You chose well.”
They looked at each other and both started smiling. Becca dropped her bag, walked to the pool's edge, and looked down at the water, then back at Ellie.
The house was more than they needed and exactly what they wanted.
Two stories, pale wood floors, an open-plan kitchen that opened onto a back terrace, and beyond the terrace a pool.
The pool made it. Rectangular, lit from beneath, screened on all sides by a dense tropical hedge that guaranteed privacy, with a gate through to the beach beyond.
They could pick and choose how sociable or how private they wanted to be.
"We're going to have fun here," Becca said.
"That's the plan."
***
They spent the first two days going nowhere near their rental car, staying local, and those days were wonderful.
They were the sort of vacation days that exist outside of normal time, where the only decisions that matter are where to eat and whether to swim in the ocean or the pool.
They walked the white sand beach, ate shrimp tacos, rode bikes, and swam naked in the pool after dark under stars that didn’t seem quite as bright after Kelly and Colt’s ranch but were still beautiful.
On the third morning, over coffee on the terrace that had the usual effect on Becca that a shot of adrenaline would have on most humans, Becca said, "What would you think about us going to Panama City Beach today?”
Ellie stopped mid-sip, looking out at their very grown up and very sensible view. “The whole day?"
"Why not? It's spring break. We've never done spring break. Let's be idiots for a day."
Ellie thought about it. It was going to be full of exactly the sort of people that Becca and her had steered well clear of back when they were at college, but…
they were twenty-five now, they were old enough to know what to avoid and handle the idiots.
They’d never experienced the great American spring break tradition, and they were twenty minutes down the road from it.
What was one day to head down there and see what the fuss was about?
"Let's be idiots," Ellie agreed. “Adorably, ever so slightly geekily hot, older idiots.”
***
They got a taxi over late morning and it was chaos from the moment they stepped out, but in the best way… the alive, buzzing, everyone's-here-for-a-good-time kind that was impossible not to get swept up in.
The beach was packed. Not just busy but dense, a solid mass of humanity on white sand, the spectrum running from groups of frat boys playing beer pong on folding tables, to packs of women in matching bikinis taking photos of each other, to couples lying on towels pretending they couldn't hear the DJ playing at a volume that suggested he might be trying to communicate with another dimension.
Ellie and Becca laid their towels down in a spot near the water that required some friendly negotiation with a group of guys from Georgia Tech who'd built a sand fort that was encroaching on several neighbouring territories.
Negotiation was probably overstating it though, considering that it took the form of Becca stood asking nicely in her string bikini and the Georgia Tech guys falling over themselves to make room, because Becca in a sexy bikini asking nicely was a force that Ellie reckoned most men couldn't resist. Probably most women too.
"They're sweet," Becca said, lying down and pulling her sunglasses on.
"They're nineteen. They reckon they’ve died and gone to heaven because two actual women in bikinis have come to lie down next to them.”
"Don't be mean. I, for one, think that their fort is impressive." It was, Ellie had to admit to herself, a pretty good fort. “Plus,” Becca lowered her voice conspiratorially, leaning closer, “they’ll definitely give us as much beer as we want.”
The day was, Ellie found, simple, pure, genuine unironic fun.
They swam in the Gulf along with what felt like half the college aged population of the US, and Ellie found her and Becca laughing at the absurdity of it: a girl on an inflatable unicorn drifting past, a group of guys trying to do more and more ridiculous dives off a pier in the distance, some women trying to do synchronised dance moves for their social media in the shallows to a song that Ellie didn’t know but it felt like everyone else did.
They realised early that the best way to enjoy the day was to go with the flow and let themselves get pulled into whatever was happening.
The Georgia Tech guys wanted to know where they were from, what they did, whether they wanted to join their beer pong tournament (they did, and were terrible at it, but at least it was in a hilarious way).
A group of nursing students from Alabama shared their cooler and their gossip about a party they'd been at the night before that had ended with someone's ex showing up uninvited. Two very tanned men in their thirties who were clearly not college students (not that Ellie and Becca could exactly complain) tried to hit on them, realised they were a couple, and pivoted seamlessly into friendly conversation about the best bars in PCB. Whether that was progressive of them or simply them trying to play the long game in the hope that they’d recant their sexuality neither could quite decide, but either way it was fun.
Becca was radiant, genuinely enjoying herself.
She was laughing, talking, being the open, magnetically charming person she was without any agenda beneath it.
Ellie watched her chat to all these strangers, half-expecting the familiar loop to fire up but it never materialised because, Ellie realised, there was no threat here, no one Becca was going to leave with, just the pleasure of watching her wife be happy.
"I love this," Becca said at one point, lying on her stomach, chin propped on her hands, watching the beach spectacle. "I can't believe we've never done this."
"We were too busy being serious."
“And in love… don’t forget the in love bit.” She leaned over and kissed Ellie. “I’m glad we came.”
"Me too."
***
As the sun started to set the energy changed.
The music got louder and the beach started to thin as people migrated towards the bars and clubs along the beachfront.
Ellie and Becca stayed for a while though, not ready to leave, enjoying watching the sunset across the water, pleasantly buzzed from an afternoon of social beers and sunshine.
When it was time they ended up at a beachfront bar that seemed to be the natural destination for everyone from their part of the beach: open-sided, a large outdoor terrace, a band playing something loud and vaguely recognisable.
The crowd was still in swimwear and they fit right in as they found stools at a high table, settling in to people watch for a bit.
“Those guys will die, surely, if they drink all of that?” Becca said, nodding towards a vast array of shots that seemed to be for six guys to share between them. “Should we be the grownups and, you know, intervene or something?”
"Absolutely not. This is natural selection in action."
"I’m more worried about everyone else. Imagine them on the dance floor after all of that.”
"Don’t worry. Everyone here has survival instincts.” Ellie paused and grinned. “Except for them maybe.”
As the evening went on the bar filled up and the music got louder.
Ellie felt the mood change from daytime fun to night-time possibility, even though everyone still seemed to be in their beachwear.
Her and Becca were themselves still in their bikinis with shorts pulled on over the bottoms, still sandy, still tasting of salt and sunscreen, but so was everyone else, and there was something democratising about it: everyone at the same level, no one dressed up, no one trying too hard.
One of the nursing students from the Alabama group appeared at their table slightly worse for wear but grinning widely.
"Hey! Bikini ladies! You're still here!"
"Still here," Becca confirmed, smiling.
"Come dance! We found the DJ and he's actually good now, he was terrible earlier but either he got better or we got drunker. Probably drunker. Come dance!"
They went, because why not? One day of spring break in their whole lives, why not make the most of it? The music was actually pretty good, and the crowd on the dance floor was a swirl of tanned bodies, cheap cocktails, and unbridled joy.
Ellie danced with Becca and with the nursing students.
At one point one of the guys with the shots danced with her, surprisingly steady on his feet still although his conversation was terrible, while Becca danced with everyone, utterly unconcerned by whether she was dancing well or not (she was) or who she was dancing with (anyone).
It was while they were queuing at the bar a little later that Becca asked. She leaned in close, quite drunk by that stage just like Ellie, and half-shouted over the music, “So how married are we feeling tonight?”
Ellie felt that familiar stab of jealousy but smiled, knowing what followed. “Pretty married. Why? You found someone?”
Becca waggled her head from side-to-side. “Not a plausible girlfriend situation, but some of our nursing student friends are cute and I’ve noticed a couple of them looking at me like… you know.”
“What are you asking?”
“You can say no… but if I made out with one of them, would you hate me?”
Ellie thought for a second, checking in with herself. Jealousy at the thought? Check. Arousal? That was there too… “You want the full spring break experience?” she asked.
“Drunkenly making out with someone that I think is cute?” She shrugged. “Maybe.”
Ellie laughed. “Go for it, so long as I can see. But…” She put her hand on Becca’s necklace.
“Keep it on. First, because we’ve had too much to drink not to accidentally lose it if you take it off.
” Becca grinned and nodded. “And second, there is no way that any of them tick the plausible girlfriend box.”
“Yes boss.” She leaned over and kissed Ellie on the cheek. “And thank you. Best wife ever.”
Nothing happened for a while. They got their drinks, talked to a few people, but then Ellie saw that Becca had spotted their new found friends dancing again and was making her way over to them.
It was maybe the third or fourth song, and when Ellie glanced over again she didn’t see Becca for a moment.
Then she spotted her, at the far side of the dance floor, dancing alone with one of the Alabama girls, not the one who’d dragged them to the dance floor earlier but another one.
She was a pretty brunette and while Ellie couldn’t remember her name she did remember that she had a southern accent so thick that it was almost a parody.
They were close, and they’d stopped dancing.
The brunette was shouting something into Becca’s ear over the music and Becca was nodding her head in agreement, then Becca said something back and didn’t really pull back much.
They were very close now, and Ellie realised that they were holding hands, it didn’t even look deliberate, just like it had happened in the alcohol fuelled haze and neither had noticed but nor would either have cared if they did.
And then… then Becca glanced over, her eyes scanning the bar until she saw Ellie, and her gaze fixed on Ellie for a couple of seconds, deliberate, even as she stood so close to the brunette.
You sure? the look said. Last chance to say no.
Ellie gave a little smile and nodded, go for it, and saw Becca smile back before she turned to her companion.
She watched as Becca said something into her ear, saw the brunette grin and look at Becca, nodding, and then Becca’s hand went to the brunette’s hair and pulled her slowly closer until their lips met.
It was sloppy and spontaneous, the kind of kiss that happens at spring break a thousand times each night between people who’ve been drinking in the sun all day and are running on endorphins by that stage of the evening.
The brunette kissed her back, hard, clearly not wanting to waste a moment, and they made out, stood right there on the dance floor.
Ellie had to stop herself laughing when she saw that the guy with the shots had noticed and was stood staring, slack jawed, all his fantasies come true.
Ellie herself had felt a spark, an objective arousal at the sight of Becca kissing this pretty woman, but it was too drunk, too performative to trigger those deeper, braided emotions.
Becca and the brunette broke apart, breathless and laughing, and then the brunette’s friends had seen and started cheering…
Ellie went over to a grinning, buzzing Becca and put her arm around her, kissing her, reclaiming her a little to the sound of more cheers.
It was fun, silly, and they all knew it meant absolutely nothing beyond the moment.
"I just got kissed by a nursing student from Alabama," Becca announced, as if reporting a scientific observation and as if she hadn’t checked that Ellie was watching.
"I saw."
"She tasted like margaritas mixed with sunscreen."
"Romantic."
"Incredibly romantic. I think she's already forgotten it happened." Becca leaned against Ellie, happy. "Can we get food? I'm starving." She paused and grinned. “And then, take me home…”
They found burgers at a place near the bar and ate them standing up.
Ellie called a taxi and by the time they were in the back seat heading back west along the dark coast road Becca was half-asleep against Ellie's shoulder, muttering about how the burgers were almost as good as Austin but not quite.
Ellie held her and watched the dark ocean through the window, thinking about the evening.
The kiss had been nothing. A spring break moment, forgotten by the brunette and her friends before she'd finished her next drink. But it had happened, and it had been hot. It made Ellie wonder… maybe there might be an opportunity this holiday to get the loop properly fired up.
Maybe.
Not tonight though. Tonight was done, and it had been perfect in its own way… they’d done spring break, a few years late for sure, but they’d done it and it had been fun, really fun.
So maybe one more time before they left. One more evening, see what happened. Keep an open mind.
She'd suggest it tomorrow. After the hangovers.