Chapter 26
When the bar started to get louder and more crowded they decided to move. Mia had strong opinions about where to go next (“there’s a strip of places two blocks over that are less frat-house, more actual music”) and they spilled out into the warm evening air.
Ellie was hungry and she persuaded the others that they needed food before anything else.
Alexa knew a place, she claimed, a little further down the waterfront and when they got there they found a line of food trucks doing brisk business.
Ellie and Becca ordered for everyone and when Mia reached for her bank card Becca waved her away.
“We talked about this. We have jobs.”
“You can’t buy us food and drink all night.”
“Watch us.”
Mia protested once more, a token effort, and Alexa said, “Just let them, Mia. We’ve been living on ramen and gas station snacks for a week. Take the gift.”
They ate standing on the sidewalk, watching the crowd flow past them.
Alexa talked to Ellie about her plans for graduation and an internship that she was hoping to get, and Ellie tried to offer some advice although she was more than a little buzzed by then so couldn’t vouch for her advice being up to much.
Becca and Mia meanwhile were engaged in a friendly argument-debate about something that Ellie couldn’t quite catch but suspected neither of them really understood either.
“Right, next bar?” Mia asked when they’d finished.
“Lead the way.”
***
The second bar was good: darker, louder, the music less generic.
The crowd was a mix of spring breakers and what looked like a few locals, so that for the first time that day Ellie and Becca weren’t the oldest in there.
The four of them stood around a table, the drinks flowed, and the conversation got looser and funnier.
At one point some guys came to talk to them and their chat was good so they hung out for a while, keeping it to themselves that they only really had a chance with Mia and Alexa.
After a while though Mia came over and shouted in Ellie’s ear over the music, “Let’s get out of here. I know somewhere way better.” She glanced over at the bar. “And those guys are going to start thinking we owe them something for the drinks they bought us any time now…”
Ellie saw one of them sidling over to where Becca and Alexa were stood, and saw exactly what she meant.
Very much a first world problem that Mia and Alexa had, being hot and desirable in the environment of spring break, but she could see the challenges.
They’d been getting a lot of attention from guys. A lot.
They made it to the third bar sometime after ten and it was the best of the lot, a terrace out front, a courtyard bar and dance floor round the back, and in between another bar and dance floor.
It was packed but good packed, the DJ playing something with a heavy bass that Ellie could feel deep down, lights low and strobing, a flash of face, a glimpse of shoulder, hands in the air.
Mia grabbed Becca’s hand. “Come on, I love this song.”
Becca looked at Ellie: coming? her expression asked. But Alexa was already steering her towards the bar. “Shots first. I’m not dancing sober in there. House rules.”
Ellie laughed and let herself be led. They found a spot at the bar and Alexa ordered tequila, one each, salt, no lime because “lime is a crutch.” They clinked glasses and knocked the first back, and Alexa immediately ordered two more.
“Pace yourself,” Ellie said, grimacing at the taste. She could hold her tequila but she’d never been a fan.
“It’s Thursday of spring break. We can pace ourselves on Monday.” They did the second round and Alexa shook her head like a dog after a bath. “Ok. Now I can dance.”
“Wait.” Ellie was feeling a little reckless by then as she turned to the bartender and held up four fingers. “Four kamikazes.”
“Four?” Alexa asked, laughing. “What were you saying about pacing ourselves?”
“They’re my favourite, I’ve got them for the other two as well.”
The drinks came and Ellie looked at Alexa. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
They downed them at the same time. “God, that is nicer,” Alexa admitted.
“Can you see the other two?” Ellie asked, picking up the remaining two shots and looking around.
Alexa didn’t even bother looking. “Their loss,” she joked as she took one and held it up. “Cheers?”
Ellie shrugged… why not? “Cheers.” She clinked her glass against Alexa’s then they downed them, watching each other’s reaction. “I’m going to regret that in the morning.”
“Spring break,” was Alexa’s reply. She took Ellie’s hand. “Now we can dance?”
They pushed into the crowd from the bar side, quickly getting lost in the throng. The room was dark and packed enough that Ellie still couldn’t see the other two… just bodies, lights, movement, the really surprisingly good DJ building something that was pulling the whole room into it.
Alexa danced well, her body moving naturally, any self-consciousness seemingly eliminated by the shots they’d done and Ellie danced near her, feeling liberated by the sudden hit of alcohol flooding through her veins, the music good enough that she didn’t need to think about anything.
Other people drifted in and out of their orbit.
A guy danced with Alexa for a bit until his hand went to her hip and she dismissed him with a shake of the head, another danced with Ellie but she soon turned back to Alexa.
At some point Alexa shouted something about finding the others and disappeared into the crowd, and Ellie kept dancing, alone now but not feeling it, the press of bodies around her creating more than enough company.
Then a hand found her hip.
Not from the front but from beside her, a hand that settled on the curve of her hip. Ellie turned in surprise and Alexa was there, right there, having reappeared out of the crowd, her face close, her eyes catching the strobing light.
“Hey,” Alexa said, or mouthed… the music was too loud for it to matter which.
“Hey. Where’s Becca and Mia?”
Alexa nodded vaguely behind her, somewhere in the crowd, and then she was dancing with Ellie again, but close, closer than she needed to, her hand still on Ellie’s hip, their bodies finding a rhythm that had nothing to do with anyone else in the room, both of their inhibitions blown away by the sheer, semi-drunken euphoria of a good dance floor on spring break.
The song changed to something slower, heavier.
The crowd moved around them. Alexa’s hand slid from Ellie’s hip to the small of her back and they were pressed together now, Alexa’s thigh between Ellie’s, their faces close enough that Ellie could feel Alexa’s breath and see the light catching the faint freckles on her nose.
Alexa was looking at her. Not a glance, not casually, this was direct and steady, a look that cut through the dark and the noise, and Ellie felt the realisation hit her, the sudden, dizzying recognition that this wasn’t friendly dancing.
Alexa wanted to kiss her.
What shocked Ellie, even through the buzz, was that she didn’t feel panic, she felt no instinct to step away or go to Becca, instead she felt something else: a deep, breathless need of her own that she hadn’t seen coming.
She’d spent the whole evening enjoying the group, enjoying the four of them, and she hadn’t been watching for this, hadn’t been reading the signals, hadn’t let herself imagine that she was the one someone would want tonight.
That was Becca that other women wanted, not her.
And now Alexa’s face was inches from hers, and Alexa’s hand was on her back, and the desire was unmistakable.
Then Alexa leaned in and closed the gap.
Her lips were soft and tasted faintly of tequila and Alexa’s lip balm.
The kiss was tentative, testing how she reacted, and for a few seconds while her mind struggled to catch up with this turn of events Ellie kissed her back on pure instinct…
the unfamiliarity of a mouth that wasn’t Becca’s, the electricity of a new body pressed against hers, the sheer breathtaking novelty of it after seven years of kissing only one person.
Then her mind caught up and she stopped. Not sharply but gently, pulling back a few inches, her hands on Alexa’s shoulders, her heart slamming against her ribs.
Alexa’s expression flickered. “I’m sorry, I…”
“Don’t apologise. Just… one second.”
Ellie turned her head and searched the dance floor. Bodies, lights, movement.
And then, across the crowd, there she was.
Becca. Standing at the far edge with Mia beside her, and she was already looking at Ellie, had seen what had happened, and her face in the strobing light was flushed and carrying an expression that Ellie knew intimately because she’d worn it herself so many times. The widened eyes. The parted lips.
The jealousy feeding the arousal.
Their eyes met across the room.
And Becca, slowly, with a small, confident smile, nodded.
Go for it.
Ellie turned back to Alexa, put her hand on the back of Alexa’s neck, and kissed her again.
Properly this time. It was Alexa’s turn to be surprised, but when she got past that she kissed Ellie back hungrily, her hands pulling Ellie closer and Ellie let herself fall into it…
the different taste, the different feel, the different everything.
They kissed for a long time. Long enough for the song to change, long enough for Ellie to stop being aware of the crowd, long enough that when they finally broke apart, breathing hard, foreheads touching, Alexa laughed in disbelief.
“Four years of spring break and that was a new one.”
Ellie smiled, but then she looked across the dance floor and the world tilted beneath her.
Becca was kissing Mia.
Not the messy nursing-student kiss from Saturday.
This was real, charged, mutual… Mia’s hands were cupping Becca’s face, Becca’s fingers were in Mia’s dark hair, the two of them were pressed together, and the loop, the jealousy-arousal loop that had been quiet all evening, roared to life so hard that Ellie’s knees nearly buckled.
There was the plausible rival. Mia was confident, gorgeous, funny, the kind of woman Becca could genuinely fall for, and she was kissing Ellie’s wife like she meant every second of it.
Alexa saw too and pulled Ellie back towards her, kissing her again, hungrier this time, her hand sliding down from Ellie’s hip to her ass, and Ellie let herself be kissed, the sensation of Alexa’s mouth and the image of Becca and Mia tangling together into something she had no name for, something new and vast, somehow terrifyingly more wonderful than anything her and Becca had done before.
Then they were interrupted.
Mia and Becca appeared out of the crowd, breathless, flushed, grinning, Mia’s hand in Becca’s.
They came together in a huddle, the four of them close together, and Mia leaned in and put her mouth to Alexa’s ear.
Ellie couldn’t hear what she said. But she saw Alexa’s eyes go wide, saw her look at Mia, saw Mia nod, then Alexa looked at Becca, then back at Ellie.
Alexa’s voice was steady despite the flush on her own cheeks. “So, we’ve got some rum back in our room,” she shouted over the music. “You guys want to come back for a drink?”
Ellie looked at Becca. “Give us a sec?” she shouted back, but she smiled with it, wanting to reassure them.
They headed out to the courtyard where there was fresh air and they could actually talk. Becca took both of Ellie’s hands.
“You kissed her,” Becca said. Her expression wasn’t accusatory though, it was excited, like something unbelievably cool had just happened.
“I did.”
“I watched you kiss her.”
“I know.”
Becca’s grip tightened on Ellie’s hands.
“El, it did something to me. Watching her kiss you and watching you kiss her back. I felt it. The jealousy and then something behind it, something… fuck, that was hot, something that made me want to…” She trailed off and shook her head.
“I kissed Mia because watching you with Alexa made me need to.”
Ellie nodded, smiling herself. “Becca. Do you want us to go back with them?”
Becca’s expression was careful, reading Ellie, containing her excitement. “Do you?”
“I’m asking you.”
“And I’m asking you. Because this is different, El. Tonight you kissed someone. You’ve never done that before. I don’t want to rush past that and bounce you into something you don’t want.”
“You’re not rushing past anything.” Ellie squeezed her hands. “I’m asking you because I’m worried you’ll think I’m only saying whatever because you want me to.”
“And I’m asking you because I don’t want you to think I’m pushing you.”
They looked at each other for a long few moments, the courtyard music all around them, and then the absurdity of it hit them both at the same time and Becca started to laugh.
“We’re doing it again,” she said. “The thing where we both want the same thing and we’re both too careful to say it.”
“We really are.” Ellie was laughing too. “Ok. Cards on the table. I want to go.”
“I want to go too.”
“Good.”
“But it’s more than that.” Becca paused, choosing her words. “I want this for you. Alexa clearly wants you, and watching you with her was…” She bit her lip. “Remember what Kelly told you about the night after the gig? About wanting to say thank you to Colt?”
Ellie felt her pulse quicken. “Yeah.”
“This could be that. My thank you to you. For everything you’ve given me… the watching, the freedom, all of it. You’ve sat in that chair and let me have the most incredible experiences. Kelly, yes, but Cass too. If you want Alexa, I want you to have her.” She held Ellie’s gaze. “If you want that.”
Ellie stood there, holding her wife’s hands in a crowded bar on the Florida panhandle.
“I want that,” she said. “You want Mia too?”
“I want that,” Becca replied, smiling, and Ellie could read volumes in that smile. It was the smile that said I love you and I trust you and let’s have some fun together.
“Then let’s go drink some rum.”
“Wait.” Ellie reached behind her neck and unfastened her necklace. Becca saw and grinned, doing the same. They put them on each other, then stood back.
Becca started laughing. “You look exactly the same! I knew we shouldn’t have bought identical necklaces…”
Ellie grinned back. “Yeah, we really should have planned that Christmas for when we’d go to spring break and fool around with other people.” She paused. “The important thing is we know.”
“Yeah, we know.” She took Ellie’s hand. “Now let’s go and find our volleyballers before someone else tries to hit on them.”