Chapter 16 Ollie
ollie
“Here’s the beer, but . . .” Luna stretched her arms high over her head, letting out the most exaggerated yawn I’d ever seen. “Sheesh, I am exhausted. Off to bed. Night!”
She grinned, clearly proud of her performance, then disappeared into her room, shutting the door behind her with suspicious speed.
“She faked that, right?” I asked, glancing over at Nova, who was sprawled on the sofa, watching the door with narrowed eyes.
“One hundred percent.”
I chuckled, popping the top off a tin of beer and dropping onto the sofa beside her.
“Ollie,” she said softly, her voice carrying gravity I wasn’t used to hearing from her. “Thank you for being here.”
I leaned back, resting the bottle on my knee. “Are you finally, maybe, somewhat opening up to the idea that we could be friends?”
“Whoa there, let’s not get carried away.” She held up her hands like I’d suggested a marriage proposal. “Acquaintances, maybe. Work colleagues who awkwardly end up at pubs for gender reveals? Sure. But friends? That’s a stretch.”
I smirked and took a slow sip of my beer. “I’ll take what I can get.”
“Why though?” she asked, her tone suddenly serious. “I mean, come on.” She dragged the words out, gesturing vaguely at me. “Look at you. You’ve got this banging body, thighs that could crush a girl’s face, you’re tall, you’ve got sick style . . .”
“Whoa, love. Let’s get you checked for a fever. That’s a lot of compliments in one day.”
She narrowed her brows. “I’m being serious.
You could have anyone, but you’re spending your night doing a gender reveal for me and helping me while I break down outside, all while I’m carrying my addict ex-husband’s baby.
A baby I’m going to have in a few short months.
” She scrubbed a hand down her face. “I’m also stupid depressed.
I’m sad as shit all the time, and— fuck,” she cried.
“I’m always horny around you. I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting you, so I avoid you because it’s easier. ”
I grinned despite her spiraling. “You want me?” I dared to scoot closer, closing the space between us.
“Really? That’s what you got from all that?”
“No.” My voice softened. “I got so much more than that.” I paused, watching her carefully. “I understand that you want me, but you’re scared. I understand that you want more than what you think you can give. And that’s okay, Nova. Because I have nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Her lips parted, but no words came out, so I pressed on. “None,” I admitted. “I told you that you got under my skin. I meant it. I don’t know how to make it stop, so instead of fighting it, I’m going to wait. I’ll wait for you and take whatever you’re willing to give me.”
I huffed out a quiet laugh, trying to lighten the moment. “Plus, who else gets to say they were there when they found out what you were having? I’ll tell the little one I was right there when you found out she was a girl.”
Nova shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “Don’t say things like that,” she whispered. “You won’t be here that long. You’ll find someone else. You’ll find another person and have your own baby.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Nova,” I said firmly. “What don’t you understand about that?”
“I don’t get it. In the last year, I lost my mom, my job, and my relationship. I’m sad more days than not, and then there’s this constant, gnawing guilt that I’m not a good enough friend to Luna. That I’m not enough for anyone.”
“I don’t get it either. I don’t know how you like your coffee in the morning.
I don’t know your favorite food, your favorite color, or even what kind of music you listen to,” I murmured.
“But I know all the shit that weighs you down, the things that run circles in your mind, and somehow, I’m drawn to you. Attracted to it. To you.”
Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t pull away, so I continued.
“I see how you work for the team, how much effort you pour into everything. And yeah, I hate when you take my players out of training sometimes—it drives me nuts—but I also know it’s because you work so damn hard. You care so much.”
I shook my head again, a small, disbelieving laugh escaping. “You’re a mess, Nova. But you’re also brilliant and strong and fucking beautiful. And for whatever reason, I can’t stop seeing all of it.”
“I, uh, I like my coffee with a lot of milk and sugar. I obviously like black.” She gestured to her clothes, and I chuckled. “Are you not weirded out that I’m pregnant? Like it’s a lot?”
“Nah. It’s an extension of you. Plus, Mum will kill me now that she’s invested if I don’t take the baby around the Cotswolds in the summer.”
The corner of her lip trembled into what could be deemed as a slight smirk.
“Are you scared when I touch you?”
She shook her head. “It only scares me because I . . . like it.”
I leaned in slightly, catching her gaze, and let my hand move upward, hesitating only briefly before I reached for her face. My fingers brushed along her temple, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Do you like my hair like this?” she asked shyly.
“I like it any way you wear it, Nova,” I said truthfully. “There’s nothing I’m not attracted to when it comes to you.”
Her lips twitched, but instead of a smile, her expression shifted into something pained. “I’m fat and ugly now,” she muttered.
“Ha,” I barked, far too loud, the sound bursting out before I could stop it. “That is hilarious.”
“I am!” She lifted her shirt slightly, revealing the tiniest bump, the one I’d caught a glimpse of earlier. “Look at me.”
My hands moved instinctively to her stomach, to the soft, slight swell. My fingers grazed the warm skin.
“Nova, love,” I crooned, brushing my thumbs along the delicate curve. “You’re stunning.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, only watched me, her breath uneven.
“I’ve thought about touching you since last time,” I admitted, my voice low, my gaze locked on hers.
“Me too,” she whispered, so quiet it seemed like a secret for us.
“I want to kiss you so badly, Nova,” I murmured, tucking another strand of hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek with my other hand.
My knees touched hers, the space between us impossibly small, yet it still seemed like too much.
“I’ve been thinking about it. Realized where I went wrong last time.
I never kissed you, and of course, it came across as impersonal.
But I’m going to fix that. I’m going to kiss you now. ”
I kept my fingers on her face, my thumb tracing the line of her jaw. “You have to tell me if that’s okay.”
Her lips parted slightly, her breath warm, her chest rising and falling with every shaky inhale. Her hands dropped from her shirt, letting it slip, covering the bump I’d touched. Little did she know how desperately I wanted to see more of her skin. Touch more of her.
“I need you to kiss me, Ollie,” she breathed.
That was it. My last thread of restraint snapped, unraveling completely. Game over.
I closed the distance, crashing my lips to hers. She was soft, and her taste was intoxicating. As she gripped my shoulders, I deepened the kiss, pulling her closer, needing more.
Without thinking, I lifted her so her thighs straddled my lap, and I erased any remaining space between us. She didn’t hesitate, threading her hands into my hair, pressing her lips against mine with the same urgency burning through me.
Sliding my hands to her waist, I curled my fingers into the soft fabric of her shirt, holding her to me.
The world outside didn’t exist. It was her—her warmth, her breath, her kiss.
She tasted like something I’d been craving for longer than I could admit, and I realized there was no coming back from this.
She wasn’t simply under my skin. She was all I wanted.
She slid her tongue into my mouth, hot and insistent, and I met her movements with everything I had. It wasn’t soft; it wasn’t sweet. It was desperate, messy, and raw. Digging her fingers into my shoulders, she kissed me like she wanted to drown in it. I let her.
Her hips started moving, rolling against me, and fuck if it didn’t send me to the edge. The friction was enough to make my erection throb, painfully hard as it ground against her.
“More,” she whispered, her lips brushing against mine as her hips pressed harder, drawing a low groan from me.
“No.” I shook my head, my voice hoarse and strained. “I can’t. We can’t.”
I was an idiot. A bloody fool for saying no to the woman who had consumed my every thought. She deserved more than this moment of reckless need, and I wasn’t going to let her wake up regretting me.
Still, I couldn’t let her go. I slipped my arms under her, lifting her like she weighed nothing. Her lips stayed on mine, hungry and relentless, as I carried her through the flat and into her room.
Her eyes locked onto mine, wide and pleading. “Please,” she begged.
“Love,” I groaned, gently brushing my thumb against her cheek.
A dull ache built as I looked at her—so beautiful, so vulnerable, it almost hurt to breathe.
“You’re making it really hard to say no.
” I leaned back, gesturing to the very obvious bulge straining against my jeans.
“This isn’t because I don’t want to.” My voice was still thick with the heat that hadn’t dimmed in the slightest.
She dropped her gaze for a split second, her cheeks flushing as she took in my arousal before darting her eyes back to mine.
“I want you, Nova. More than you could imagine. But this . . . this isn’t how I want it to happen. Not rushed. Not in a moment where we’re . . . reacting.” I swallowed hard, my fingers still resting on her skin. “I want to take my time with you. Do this right.”
Her brows furrowed slightly, and she let out a shaky breath. “I don’t care about right. I just—”
I stopped her with a gentle shake of my head, moving my hand to her jaw to keep her eyes on mine. “I do, love. I care about it more than you realize. I’m not going to let this be something we rush into and then regret—or worse, ignore.”
Her lips trembled slightly, and I could see the wall she’d been holding up so tightly start to crack.
“No more pretending you don’t matter to me or ignoring each other. We’re going to do this the right way.” I leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, lingering there for a moment as I let the weight of my words settle. “You deserve better than that, Nova. We deserve better than that.”
Pulling back was torture. Every fiber of my being wanted to stay, to touch her, to drown in her, but I stepped back, giving her the space I knew she needed—even if it killed me.