Chapter 49
jeremy
I almost didn’t come. I’d sat in the truck for a solid ten minutes with the engine idling, staring at Luna’s location.
Part of me felt like a dick for showing up unannounced, but part of me also knew if I didn’t walk through that door, I never would.
We’re supposed to avoid people from our past—at least that’s what they drill into you in rehab.
But we were both in a good place. I was sober, he was thriving.
I hesitated one more second, then pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The first person I saw was Austin. He was standing with his back to me, talking to a group of people. My first instinct was to turn right back around and leave, but the words came out before I could stop them.
“Got room for one more?”
He turned sharply, eyes locking on mine. The smile was gone. His fists curled at his sides, like he was ready to shove me right back out the way I’d come in.
Before he could do it, Dirks appeared at his side, his hand landing on Hart’s shoulder like a warning and a comfort all at once. “He’s back from rehab, Hart. Hear him out.”
Austin shook his head. “You shouldn’t be here.”
I was a reminder of the worst parts of all of us. I was a walking trigger if he let me be.
My smile slipped, but I didn’t move. I’d changed, whether they wanted to believe it or not.
“It’s been a long road.” I flicked a glance at Luna—couldn’t help it. “I just came to say congrats. Luna invited me.”
“Not today,” Ledger cut in.
Before I could fire back, Nova stepped forward. She looked between me and Hart, reading the tension in the air, her mouth set in a firm line. “You should go, Jeremy.”
Her tone wasn’t mean. Just final.
Another woman appeared at Hart’s side. She sized me up in a heartbeat. “Maybe not today. Maybe this can happen another time.”
I could only assume this was Charlie and she was announcing her pregnancy.
And now here I was, standing in the doorway the same second Hart announced that his wife was pregnant.
A fucking family moment. One I had no right to be in.
I swallowed hard and nodded at him.
“Congrats, man. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
Hart nodded, smiling the soft smile of a man who already has everything he wants. I forced myself to turn away. As I stepped out, I caught Luna’s eyes across the room—wide, apologetic, worried—right before I slipped through the door and let it click shut behind me.
A moment later, the door opened again. Luna stepped out, closing it gently and immediately sliding her hand into mine like she didn’t even hesitate leaving a celebration for me.
I heard her voice faintly from inside—“Congrats, Charlie”—just before she walked out to follow me.
Dirks joined us too, letting the door fall shut behind him.
“See?” I jabbed a thumb back at the house. The motion pulled my jacket tight across my shoulders. “I don’t fucking fit in. That—” another sharp gesture toward the glowing windows and the happy voices inside “—is fucking proof.”
Luna stepped forward, eyes narrowing. “Proof of what?”
“That I’m the outsider in every room you bring me into. Ledger, Austin, Nova . . . all of them. That’s your world, Luna. Not mine.”
She shook her head instantly, frustration tightening her features. “No. That’s not proof, Jeremy. That was just the worst possible timing.”
“Wrong time?” I echoed.
“Yes,” she insisted, taking another step like she could drag me closer by will alone. “Austin wasn’t ready to see you. That’s a whole… chapter he’s still trying to figure out now that you both are sober.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed, eyes glossy in the porch light.
“I thought tonight was just going to be dinner. Some jokes, them announcing the pregnancy, you two easing into the same room again. I invited you because I wanted you to have a chance to make amends, and you walked in there with an open heart. But he wasn’t ready for that.”
“Lune, I still got kicked out,” I shot back. “You shouldn’t have invited me.”
Her expression softened, but she didn’t back down. “I invited you because you’re important to me. Because you deserve to be included. And I feel awful that the room went cold the minute emotions got high, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have been there.”
“I felt like an idiot,” I muttered. “Like I walked into a family moment I didn’t have the right to be part of.”
“No,” she said, stepping closer. “You turn every difficult moment into proof you don’t belong. But this isn’t that. You had one uncomfortable night. You didn’t do anything wrong. And you belong with me. That’s what matters.”
“I think you underestimate how fucking small I feel around your people.”
Her jaw tightened. “Jer, I invited you because I wanted you there. And yeah—” her voice softened just a fraction, “—I feel awful that it blew up the way it did. But a bad moment doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have come.”
“It felt like I shouldn’t have been there at all.”
“It felt that way because the timing sucked,” she shot back gently. “Not because of you. Not because you don’t fit.”
“It is to me.”
“No,” she said again, firmer. “You’ve survived worse than a messy night. Stop acting like this is proof you don’t belong. You fit with me. That’s all that matters.”
I opened my mouth, but Dirks’s voice cut through from behind her.
“You’re coming to my retirement party. Ledger’ll be there. Austin’ll be there. And you’ll still be there, too. You can talk to them then. That’ll be the right time.”
I shook my head, already feeling my chest tighten. “That’s in a few months. I don’t even know if I’ll be around that long.”
“Don’t say that,” Luna snapped. She grabbed the front of my jacket like she could anchor me in place, her eyes already wet. “P-please.”
Luna didn’t cry. Not like this. Not with tears streaking her cheeks and her voice small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. She was fire, she was stubbornness wrapped in soft skin, and she was the one person in my life who had never been afraid to tell me when I was full of shit.
I’d do anything for her. That wasn’t up for debate.
I’d crawl through broken glass barefoot, I’d bite down and take the hit, I’d swallow every ugly piece of myself I usually kept locked away, if it meant she got to keep breathing easy.
But I couldn’t keep bleeding out for her if it meant I never stopped.
“Please,” she begged again, curling her fingers into my jacket.
I looked at her, really looked, and for a second I could see the life she wanted me to step into. The one where we stayed tangled in each other, where I wasn’t scared of walking into rooms like the one I’d just walked into. But I couldn’t see how we got there without something breaking me in half.
“Please sign the paper. Come down south with me. This can all end when you decide to do that.”
Her lip trembled. She didn’t answer.
I didn’t push. Couldn’t. If I stayed another second, I’d fold. Instead, I turned, got in the car, and shoved my key into the ignition.