Chapter 53
jeremy
If you’d told me years ago I’d be standing at a rooftop party in the middle of Chicago, talking to Austin like we hadn’t spent years avoiding each other, I’d have laughed in your face. Or told you to go to hell.
“Remember that game in Detroit when you blew your skate blade in the first period?”
“Yeah, and you had to take double shifts while I sat there, waiting for the equipment guy to work his magic. I still feel bad about that.”
Ledger smirked. “Still better than the time you two decided to race after practice and you”—he pointed at me—“wiped out so bad you took half the bench down with you.”
Austin barked a laugh. “Man, I forgot about that. Took us twenty minutes to clean up the mess.”
“Good times,” I said, though part of me still felt the sting of those bruises.
We talked for a while about the old days—road trips, games that went into triple overtime, dumb bets on who could hit the crossbar from the far blue line.
Eventually Austin asked, “So, what’ve you been doing since?”
I told them about my job—how it paid the bills, but wasn’t where I wanted to stay—and admitted I’d reached out to Dirks recently about maybe making a change.
Ledger nodded, his expression genuine. “Yeah, man. Reach back out. We’ll see what we can do.”
Something in my chest loosened. “Thanks.”
The rest of the night blurred—faces coming and going, conversations overlapping until the music softened and the rooftop started to empty.
By the time the last guests left, it was me, Luna, and Dirks. We kicked off our shoes and sat at the pool’s edge, letting the cool water lap at our ankles. The city glowed all around us, the black-and-red Chicago Ravens decor still clinging to the railings and tables.
Luna leaned back on her hands, looking between us. “What a day.”
I exhaled, watching the ripples spread out from our feet. “I loved today.”
Luna smiled, shifting closer until her shoulder brushed mine. “We should do something Monday. Just us. Maybe head to the lake or get out of the city for a day.”
I shook my head. “Can’t. I’ve gotta go close the estate.”
Her eyes flicked to mine, and before I could say more, Dirks leaned forward. “You need to go, too.”
“I can’t,” she said quietly.
“Please, Luna . . . after all this time, fucking please.” The words tore straight out of my chest. I didn’t even know how to beg properly, but I needed her more than ever.
“You don’t get it,” she mumbled, her eyes fixed on the water.
That hit harder than if she’d screamed at me. I scooted back from her instinctively and stood, my chest heaving.
“This is why I left for months. This right here, because I can’t fucking do this.
I cannot fucking do this! You make me feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind.
I feel crazy for asking for this one thing.
Just one fucking thing! I’m not asking you to cut off a limb, I’m not asking you to bleed for me.
I’m asking you to come down with me. To stand next to me while I clean up the shit Arthur left behind. ”
My throat burned. I hated how my voice shook, how much it sounded like begging.
Dirks looked up from where he sat. “Luna . . . you should go.”
“You don’t get it. You’re asking me to bleed. You’re asking me to rip open a scar that I’ve healed over.” Her lips parted, her eyes wide as they darted between him and me.
She burst into sobs, the kind that ripped out of her chest and made my stomach knot. “Leave, Jer. If this is what will break us, then fucking leave!”
I stumbled back a step, the words cutting like a blade.
Anger roared up to cover the ache. “I hate you,” I spat, each word venomous, though my heart cracked with every syllable.
“I fucking hate you for never putting me first. Not once. I thought we could move past it. I thought this party would stitch us back together.” My eyes burned as I turned toward Dirks, shaking my head.
“I can’t do it like this. There has to be some give with her.
Right now it’s take, take, take, and my cup’s bone dry. I’ve got nothing left.”
I dragged my gaze back to her, my chest heaving. Her face was streaked with tears, her whole body shaking, and I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and never let go. But the words came anyway, breaking me as much as they broke her.
“If you don’t show up next week . . . that’s it. This is the last time you’ll ever see me.”
Her sobs grew, the sound ripping through me, and for a moment I swore I could feel my own heart splitting clean in two. If I looked at her one second longer, I’d crumble. So I turned away.
In that single step, I knew the choice I’d made. I was leaving my family. Walking away from the only home I’d ever had, from the girl I’d spent my whole damn life chasing, because she couldn’t give me this one thing. Or wouldn’t.
Some selfish fucking reason she wouldn’t tell me.
It was always secrets with her. Secrets she carried close, secrets she let rot in the dark, secrets that broke us over and over again. This was the one that finally shattered us for good.