Chapter Sixteen #2
She let the grin go free finally. “Spud.”
His brows slammed together. “What?”
“When he was a toddler, he was a picky eater, so the story goes. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack time, all he ever wanted was mashed potatoes. Daddy started calling him Spud, and the name stuck. He’s forty-two years old, married to his high school sweetheart, has four kids and everyone, includin’ his kids, calls him Spud to this day. ”
Kolby’s face went blank for a moment, then crinkled into a mass of lines as his laugh bellowed around her apartment.
“Next oldest is Bartholomew,” she said. “Granny Quinlan always called him and Spud Irish twins ‘cuz there’s only ten months separating them.”
“Does he have a family nickname, too?” He chugged his water.
Nodding, she told him. “Poo.”
“Like in Winnie?”
“Nope. Like in, you know? Poo.”
His expression blanked again, then he swallowed the water and said, “I’ve got to hear this story. You call your brother – your older brother - a name than means...?”
“Yup. Took forever to toilet train him, according to Mama. Had a real issue with not being the baby anymore once Spud came along and he’d do all kinds of negative behavior things to get attention.
Granny said it was a way for him to gain control of an emotional stressor and get the upper hand on the grownups who wanted him to do something when all he wanted was to be the baby of the family. ”
“Your grandmother sounds like a shrink.”
“She's better than any psychologist you’ll ever know. Has a degree in life. And she was right, too. Poo controlled my mother’s attention by holding back.
The older boys are who made the nickname up to tease and torture him.
” She shrugged and speared a meatball. “He’s forty-three, married with three kids and the manager of the local farm and feed store in my hometown. And everyone in town calls him Poo.”
“The fact he answers to it is mindboggling.”
She gave him a speaking glance.
“More,” he said.
“William, Liam’s next. Forty-five, not married, never has been and never wants to be. He’s like you. Loves the ladies and thinks God put him on earth to have a good time. He’s a lawyer, by the way. A good one, too.”
“No crazy stories you can regale me with about good ol’ Liam?” It didn’t get past her he’d ignored the comment about his dating habits.
“Well, now it’s a funny thing he became a lawyer. Daddy always thought he’d wind up in prison ‘cuz he was forever doing dumb and dumber things that he caught all kinds of heat for.”
“For instance?”
“The house phone would ring with someone looking for Daddy and Liam would answer it by saying things like, County Morgue. You kill’em, we’ll chill’em.” Kolby spit out his water, then barked another laugh as she handed him a paper napkin to clean his chin.
“Another time he answered it before Mama could get to it and said, Wanda’s House of Pleasure. You bring the whips; we’ll supply the pain.”
He couldn’t contain his laughter.
“My favorite, though, was one I overheard him make when he came home from law school one Christmas and had taken too many nips from the eggnog bowl Granny always put out.”
“Wha- what was it?” He asked, holding his belly.
“Able’s Crematorium and Chicken waffle house. Have a good cry while you enjoy our famous poultry fry.”
Lordy. She’d never heard a grown man laugh so hard before. And she had to admit, it was a sound she really wanted to keep hearing.
“Stop," he begged, putting up a halting hand, the other wrapped around his stomach. “It hurts. It hurts.”
“You asked me to tell you about my brothers.” She shrugged and tossed him a dramatic, brow lifted stare.
It took him a few moments, but he finally calmed down, and when he did, he dragged in the rest of his water.
“Wanna hear about Connor and Ezekial?” she asked.
“Only if you can tell me without making my stomach cramp from laughing.”
She considered the request, then said, “I’ll try. What I don’t consider funny, though, you might.”
He made a waving motion with one of his hands. “Hit me.”
“Connor’s the oldest at fifty. He’s the chief of police in my hometown. His wife passed three years ago from breast cancer.”
“I’m sorry.” He was instantly sober faced. “That’s tough. Kids?”
“Seven, ranging from twenty-nine all the way down to sixteen.”
“So, you have a niece or a nephew that’s basically the same age as you?”
“Nephew. Dillon. He’s a lawyer like Liam. Only he does corporate law, mostly.”
“No crazy nickname for Connor?”
“Oh, he’s got a nickname, alright. I just don’t know if I should tell you.”
“Is there a story associated with the name?”
“Kinda.”
“Kinda? Well, now my curiosity’s piqued. You have to tell me.”
She cocked her head and crossed her arms over her chest.
“It’s Pecker.”
His eyes went wide. “Like in...” he waved his hand in the air.
“Nope. His middle name’s Woodrow, named after our grandfather.”
“Another unusual name.”
“Not as much as you’d think. Colleen had a bride a while back who had two Woodrows in the same family and they kinda did the same thing my family did.”
“Which was?”
“Well, no one called Connor by his name because from the moment he was born, my granddaddy insisted he be called Woodrow.”
“How do you come up with Pecker from Woodrow?”
“Mama said everyone should call Connor Woody instead of Woodrow just to keep the peace, but granddaddy was already known as Woody. It was Granny who came up with Pecker from—”
“Woody Woodpecker,” Kolby said, nodding. “Pecker. I get it now. Does everyone outside of your family call him Pecker, too?”
“Not if they want to live 'til sunup.”
Kolby’s lips twitched.
“Ezekial was the easiest one, cuz everyone just calls him Zeke.”
“And what about you?” he asked.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Does your family have a pet name for you? And please don’t tell me it’s something akin to another body function like Bartholomew’s.”
She laughed. “Nope. I’m the baby in the family, the oopsie when Mama and Daddy thought their baby makin' days were done and over. Everyone calls me Baby-girl. The aunts, uncles, even the nieces and nephews. I’m Baby-girl to one and all.
Almost thirty years old and still considered the baby.
” She let loose with a dramatic eye roll.
His smile turned soft. “You’re gonna be their baby until the day they die,” he said.
“Luckily, that won’t be for decades. Mama is only sixty-five and Daddy’s sixty-seven.”
“Wait. Your oldest brother is fifty?”
“Just turned, yeah.”
“So, your parents were teenagers when they got married?”
“Fifteen and seventeen, yeah. And they didn’t have to get married, in case you’re wonderin’. Pecker made his debut in the world a solid ten months and two weeks after they got hitched.”
“Amazing.” Kolby shook his head a few times. “So, Pecker, Zeke, Liam, Poo, Spud and Baby-girl.”
“That’s right.”
“And your parents?’’
“CarlieRae and Rory.”
“CarlyRae sounds southern, but Rory? Sounds more...Scots”
“Irish, to be truthful. One hundred percent, too.”
He squinted at her. “How’d that happen?”
“Oh, that’s a tale for another day, O’Brian. We don’t have enough time, and—”
Her phone pinged with an incoming text.
Tom’s name ran across the screen.
“Excuse me,” she said while she opened the text.
Hey, are you free 2nite or tmrw? I’d like to see you.
Her fingers flew across the keyboard.
Not tonight. Working a day wedding tmrw. Usually ends at 6ish and then I need to crash. Sorry.
She hit send and almost immediately the conversation dots began blinking.
“Problem?” Kolby asked.
“No. Tom.”
His lips pressed together in a flat line while he nodded.
‘K. Soon?
I’ll text my free nights in a bit. Busy now.
Not a lie. She was busy having dinner with Kolby.
Tom shot back a thumbs-up.
“What was that all about?” Kolby asked.
“He knew I was working today and wanted to know if I was free now to see me.”
With his head cocked, Kolby nailed her with a hard stare. “Sounds like he wants a booty call.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re showing your advanced age, O’Brian. No one born in this century calls it that,” she said.
One corner of his mouth curled. “Thanks for reminding me how old I am.”
“Ancient,” she quipped.
He shook his head and forked in a meatball.
Charity placed her phone back down on the counter and sighed.
“What’s with the tortured breath?”
She focused her gaze on her almost empty plate and stayed silent.
Kolby cleared his throat. “Things getting serious with you two?”
She lifted a shoulder. “We’ve been talking a lot. With my work and karate schedule, it’s tough to date, normally.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Go out on weekends like most people who work during the week do.” She lifted her gaze to find him peering at her like she was a bug under a microscope. “He wants things to progress. With us. Like, as a couple. You know?”
Her cheeks heated, and she regretted saying it the moment it was out of her mouth.
“You mean like hook up? He wants to sleep with you.”
It didn’t sound like a question, but she nodded, anyway. “That’s the normal progression in dating these days, right?”
“And what? You don’t want to?”
“It’s not that.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you, of all people.”
He stretched out a hand across the table and pulled one of hers into it. “Hey. Look at me.”
When she did, she was floored to see the well of kindness shining across his eyes.
“What do you want?” His voice was as soft as a wisp of air. “I have to think, because you went to Liv, that you want something you don’t have, yes?”
She nodded.
“Tell me.”
She could just imagine how red her cheeks must be because they felt as if she had the worst sunburn of her life.