Chapter Thirty-Nine Kaitlyn
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Kaitlyn
Kaitlyn used to think that moving on would be impossible without knowing the truth. Now she’s not sure that one version of the truth even exists.
She tells her new therapist this during their first session together, to which Dr. Chavez says, “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Admittedly, Kaitlyn isn’t quite sure herself. She just knows that Talia—who, from the sound of it, oscillates between lucidity and delusion, depending on the day—claims to be as in the dark about what happened to Amanda as everyone else.
“Talia broke into Amanda’s apartment while she was out,” Kaitlyn explains to the therapist. “She’s owned up to that.
But from there, her story always changes.
Sometimes she confesses to attacking Amanda first. Sometimes she says Amanda attacked her and she acted in self-defense. But the weirdest thing . . .”
Hearing her trail off, Dr. Chavez gives a nod of encouragement. “What is the weirdest thing?”
“Talia refuses to admit she killed her. She keeps insisting that Amanda was still breathing when she left. That when she returned to the apartment later, my sister was just gone. It’s like she thinks that will absolve her, pretending she had no idea that Amanda was actually dead.”
“What if it’s like you said? What if this is Talia’s version of the truth?”
“Then she’s even more insane than I thought.”
Dr. Chavez cringes; Kaitlyn suspects the therapist is about to chastise her for using this word, insane. Instead, she says, “Talia can’t give you the answers you’re seeking. Or, at least, that’s the impression I’m getting. Should that keep you from moving on?”
As much as Kaitlyn would like to exact her own revenge—to make Talia pay for all the anguish she’s caused Kaitlyn and Meera and for whatever the fuck she did to Amanda—she can’t let that be the last thing she does.
Already she’s squandered months of her life searching for a woman who no longer exists; why spend the rest of her days rotting away in a prison cell?
No, it’s time for Kaitlyn to conclude this chapter.
She will not allow Talia to steal another minute.
For the first time in a long time, Kaitlyn is ready to face forward rather than look back.
Maybe she’ll apply to law school. Adopt a dog.
Get back on the dating apps. Do all the things she’s been meaning to do but put on the back burner until her sister was found.
Kaitlyn no longer has an excuse for pressing pause on her life, and that scares the shit out of her. But it also means she’s free.
“No,” she tells Dr. Chavez. “I won’t give her that power.”
What she doesn’t tell her new therapist: That last night, after posting an old photo of herself and Amanda to Instagram, she’d received a “like” from a user named @geminibaby530.
Clicking on the handle revealed nothing—no posts, no profile picture, only a few bots for followers—but still, it was enough for Kaitlyn to entertain a fantasy.
To imagine a world where her sister was still out there, lying in wait.
Plotting a way back to her.