30. Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Vi
Jake adjusted the microphone and smiled. "Thank you, everyone. This is a song about love that endures. I've never played it for anyone before. I hope you enjoy it."
A few extra claps broke the silence, but they scattered away, and silence took the room. Until Jake plucked the first few notes, and we all fell into a trance.
The song had a cadence to it that echoed strong heartbeats and half-finished thoughts. Like the guitar itself hummed, lost in a reverie. It only magnified when Jake's hands continued to dance over the instrument, and his mouth aligned with the microphone.
He closed his eyes, but I kept mine wide open, taking him in. I carved room for him and his voice and his music take root inside of me.
Even if someone told me no, it was just me mesmerized, I wouldn't believe them. The power in the room was too intense for only me to be under its spell.
I held my breath until the words boomed through the room, and in every chamber of the organ in the center of my chest.
My heart's still learning to count In a world of giants But as years go by and I look at you I still see the dreams I hoped to forget When I woke up to reality
They're not gone They're still here I think they're me
"Holy shit." Gabe ran his fingers through his hair in a restless, unbelieving gesture. "He's fucking incredible ."
Lina put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's keep the shocked reactions for later, please. I need to hear these words."
She looked at me with eyes open wide, as if needing to make sure I was paying attention to the lyrics too.
I gave her a quick nod, but glued my eyes to Jake again. More than hearing the words, I let them sear my skin. His deep, clear voice burned in a tormented, delicious way, and I wanted the peaks and valleys of the soundwaves branding themselves onto me.
The story written in my DNA vibrated in recognition. The pain and yearning in his song were my own.
Jake's brow wrinkled in the anguish of his music, like he could feel it deep in his bones, too.
I'm not Darcy loving you despite my own judgment I love you ardently anyway Yet you deserve a love that's whole And I'm not, I'm not You own all the parts of me that I'd give you So I'm not, I'm not
A hundred rules keep me in chains I owe the bonds an apology Pushed and crushed Now diamonds take their place
My throat tightened. I took a deep breath but it didn't help. If I let myself believe this song was about us and his feelings for me, this was a moment that I had waited years for.
And if I could hear it, Lina would, too. Perhaps even my brother would.
I gulped. Gabe shook his leg, his eyes locked on his best friend. I pushed the concern aside. I had much more important matters at hand, like the fact Jake had taken a leap and was singing his music for a hundred people for the first time. Besides, Gabe didn't know about us, and this could be about Jake loving someone else.
Fuck that. I clenched my jaw, my chest close to weeping.
I'm not Darcy but my feelings are unchanged A word from you would silence me forever But this love burns on On and on and on So let me give you every part of me you'll keep On and on and on
One day we'll look back In a treasure chest we'll find The keepsakes of our love They're all bathed in gold In gold, gold
Jake pressed his lips together after the last word, his brow deeply furrowed. A few chords later he dropped his head and continued to play the guitar. He showed no problem keeping up with the complex movements, like the instrument was an extension of his mind itself. The melody intensified, carrying the lyrics forward now as pure notes and plucks and rakes of all strings.
The tune sweetened and slowed down— the change prepared us for it to end. I clung to the sounds, wanting the song to last forever, but it ended in a sustained final note.
People around us broke into applause; a couple of cheers added to it. Gabe, Lina, and I stayed frozen in our spots, each lost to our own feelings and interpretations.
Jake lifted his head again to the crowd. He got up from the stool with a smile on his face, and gave everyone a simple head bow in thanks. The guitar hung from his big hand, fingers wrapped around the bridge, and a staff member took it from him. It spurred Jake to give everyone a final head bow, before walking away into the wings.
People around us turned back to their own tables, chatting with each other as if life had not changed for them the way it had for me. Potentially, for the three of us squirming on our high stools.
Gabe turned away from the stage and put both elbows on the table. His head hung low on his shoulders, just like Jake's had when I had arrived. I didn't get to ask what was wrong, because Lina drew my attention with a hand on my arm.
"Vi, seriously," she said. "Did you hear that?"
Gabe lifted his eyes— and only his eyes— at me. His gaze, half-hidden by the ridge of his eyebrows, inspected me at length. Deeply. A reflex took over my arms, a desire to cover myself and block the view. Like he knew I hid evidence under my blouse. Like he wanted to find it.
"I did." I gave Lina a shy smile. "It was beautiful."
"Was it?" Jake appeared next to us.
"It was beautiful, absolutely." I put a hand on Jake's arm and squeezed. It was all I could do at the time, and it left a bitter taste on my tongue. I let it erase the nerves Gabe's look had left me with.
A corner of his lip curled in a gesture that mirrored my own feelings. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed, too. "Thank you, Violeta."
Gabe straightened on his stool and crossed his arms. "That was a powerful song. Definitely the kind to leave an impression. You're wonderfully talented, my friend."
Jake smiled, but a small frown appeared on his brow. "Thank you, Gabe."
"Your voice is one thing," Lina added. "Writing your own music is another. This quality, though? That's special."
"Your reaction is in part because you know me," Jake said.
"Or we genuinely enjoyed it." I gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. "Don't tell us what we feel."
"What I feel is that I would like another drink." Lina pulled at Gabe's shirt. "Come with me? Do you want anything, guys?"
Jake and I shook our heads. Gabe let Lina take him away, and I sent her a silent thank you for giving Jake and I some privacy.
As soon as they disappeared among the crowd, I stole a kiss from Jake.
"Vi!"
"That song was a choice! A risky choice."
"Like that kiss?"
"No one saw the kiss. Everyone heard the song."
He shrugged. "It had to be a song that mattered. So I chose a song about you."
An arrow pierced my heart, his words carved onto the shaft.
Too late, cupid. I'm already there.
We hadn't talked about love, but his song left no room for doubts.
"It pains me that I can't hug you right now," I said. "It's an ache in my chest that I can't kiss you over and over, tell you how I feel. How your song tattooed something that feels like truth on my skin."
"Fuck," he muttered. He shook his head. "I know."
"I'm ready, Jake. I want to tell everyone about us."
He blanched. Even in the dim light of the bar, I saw the way the idea worried him.
"I know." He nodded, despite the evidence of his feelings. "We need to find a way to lay it on the line."
It didn't make sense to hide it, anymore. In fact, we deserved the freedom to show the world what existed between us. This tenderness, this strength, this bond— it was bathed in gold.
We deserved to collect the keepsakes of a history together.
"Timing sucks." He ran a hand through his hair. "Part of your family are arriving tomorrow, and we have to entertain them until the party, and finalize details—"
"But timing always sucks for us! If we learned our lesson, we can't keep waiting in the hope that the pieces fit together. We have to make them fit."
He pressed his lips together and nodded again. "Fine. Yes, you're right. Let's talk on… let's talk after the luncheon on Sunday. We'll come up with a plan."