35. Chapter 35
Chapter 35
Jake
Over the years, Tío Raúl and Tía Sonia had treated me just like they did their blood children. That included an informal rule that I should never feel like I had to ring the doorbell, but I should come in directly through the kitchen door.
My motivation to visit them that night had me with a queasy stomach, and stopped me with a hand on the handle. At the last second, I knocked on the door instead.
I gulped. Tía Sonia opened the door with a puzzled expression.
Her eyes traveled all the way up from my chest to my face. "Oh! Jake? Everything okay?"
"I hope so." I cleared my throat. "Can I come in?"
"Of course!"
She closed the door behind me and we walked through the kitchen. Tío Raúl drank his after-dinner coffee at the breakfast nook, and he smiled when he saw me.
"Jake! What a nice surprise. Why did you knock?"
"You confused us!" Tía Sonia added.
She sat next to her husband on the bench, and they looked at me expectantly. The window framed them, the patio and backyard greenery a halo around them.
"I'll get some water," I said. "Then I would like to talk to you both."
They shared a worried look, but let me get a glass and sit on one of the chairs, my back to the rest of the room.
"What's going on, son?" Tío Raúl asked. "I can see the tension in your shoulders."
I took a sip of water, hoping it would soothe my dry mouth. The two people I considered my parental figures gazed at me with deep wrinkles in their brows, sitting shoulder to shoulder.
For a second, I could see them like the first time I met them. Back then, there was no gray in their hair, and they sported no wrinkles. Back then, they smiled at me and were so warm that I was suspicious of them. Except that with incredible patience and consistency, they had proven to be every bit the amazing couple they appeared to be.
Flash forward over two decades later, and they welcomed me to a much different home, but with the same kindness in their eyes.
My stomach rolled with anxiety. I counted breaths, and hoped for the best.
One, two, three…
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. My mind had gone blank in the precipice of the conversation ahead of me.
Four, five, six…
I released a frustrated sigh. "I thought about what I wanted to say all the way here. Now I'm in front of you, and I forgot everything."
"Take your time." Tía Sonia's smile was encouraging. "No need to rush."
I took a deep breath and tried again.
One, two, three…
"I came here alone because I thought you deserved the gesture. Me with my courage, and you with the generosity of heart I should have respected more."
My words concerned them; I could see it in the way Tía Sonia squirmed in her place, and in Tío Raul's knotted brow. But they let me continue, showing me yet again the even-temperedness that had become a haven to me.
Four, five, six…
I pressed my lips together. "I don't know what would have been of me, if it weren't for the both of you. The way you opened your arms to me, and made me feel welcome and safe. When you first paid for therapy for me as soon as I turned eighteen, or how you helped me out with college."
I clenched my fists on my lap, where they wouldn't see it. Not out of anger, but in the hope it would help me hold back the tears building in my throat.
With my gaze on the table between us, I made myself continue, despite my tight vocal cords. "I've made decisions recently that I regret. I'm afraid it will hurt you both. But I'm here to tell you the truth. I will do anything to make it better. Well, almost anything. Violeta might have a say on a thing or two."
One, two, three.
I closed my eyes and dug my nails into the palms of my hands. "I am in love with your daughter. I have been for years. A few weeks ago we started a relationship, but we messed up. We hid it from everyone. I hope you will forgive me for keeping my love for her a secret, as well as the fact that we are dating."
Four, five, six.
Without noticing, I had slouched on my chair. I took a deep breath and straightened my back, opening my chest to them.
I sighed. "I plan to stay with Vi for as long as it's good between us, and believe me— it's good. So good, we want to love one another in the open. Be free to take this as far as we can. You took me in like another son, and I will forever owe you everything for the family you've given me. And I hope you will accept me as Vi's partner, too."
I allowed a small chuckle. "It might be a lot to ask, but then again… you've always been incredibly generous."
I took a few more breaths, using them to keep the buzz in my limbs from going haywire. A few seconds went by, before I could make myself lift my eyes at Tío Raúl and Tía Sonia.
The tears running down her face broke my heart.
"I'm sorry." My voice cracked. "I'm sorry for messing up. You deserved better from me, and I failed you. I apologize."
"Thank you for telling us, Jake." Tío Raúl's voice came out rough. He put an arm around his wife's shoulders. "I can see how difficult this was for you to talk about."
I nodded, but said nothing. They shared a long gaze, communicating without words. Finally, Tío Raúl nodded, but it was Tía Sonia who spoke.
She didn't bother drying her tears; she let them run freely. "It pains us to know you didn't trust our love enough to tell us before, but we love you anyway. That won't go away, even if we are disappointed right now."
My heart and its hundred shattered pieces pulsed fast, each shred a different beat.
"Being disappointed and hurt is no reason to take away our love, or to punish you." Tío Raúl turned serious eyes my way. "Especially on the wings of you telling us you're in love with Vi."
Like he had summoned his daughter, Vi scrambled into the kitchen through the side door.
"Jake?!" she exclaimed. Her eyes studied the scene before her with worried eyes. "Mom? You're crying?"
Vi approached us with slow, measured steps. She put a hand on my shoulder, and I covered it with my own.
"I think I understand why neither of you mentioned having feelings for each other." Tía Sonia studied her daughter's face. "It would be hard to reveal your heart like that if you didn't know if the other felt the same."
"And knowing you'd have to see each other, even if things went wrong," Tío Raúl said.
Vi's fingers dug into my shoulder. "It was my idea to keep the relationship secret. I'm so sorry. I know you're going to think it's because we didn't trust you— that was not it, I promise. Don't blame Jake, he was trying to make it easier on me."
"It's okay, Vi." I gazed up at her, standing beside me. "You don't need to defend me. I agreed to it. I can take it."
She shook her head, eyes adamant on mine. "No. They need to know the whole truth, and fear of their reaction wasn't what put the idea in my head."
She turned back to her parents, and I did the same.
"You taught me that it's important to be honest," she said. "We didn't go into it wanting to hide it— I truly thought of it as keeping it private to buy us time. I was afraid we'd mess it up; I was worried about the pressure of figuring out if Jake and I belonged together while under a microscope. Somewhere inside I knew— being with Jake was my best shot at a love like yours. I didn't want to make a mistake and get distracted by others' opinions. It sucks that we made mistakes anyway."
"Pero hija…" Tía Sonia interrupted herself. She took a deep breath before trying again. "Your actions didn't align with your words. You wanted to be together like that— if you had been ready, you wouldn't have cared about what other people had to say anyway."
"But I care about what you and Dad think! And the rest of the family."
"I cared, too," I said. "That I do not regret."
"We were ready to try." Vi gazed down at me again, and gave me a small smile. "We found something wonderful."
She sat on the chair next to me. I held her hand tight on top of the table, at full view of her parents. Tío Raúl's sight focused on the gesture.
"Okay, yes." Tía Sonia sighed. "Yes, it's good that you cared. I just wish you didn't feel it safer to keep it quiet than to tell us. I wish… I wish we could have been happy with you from the start. But that's in the past. I'm glad you're telling us now. Mistakes can be repaired, if people put in the work."
"I'm putting in the work." I gazed at Vi. "We are."
"I love Jake, Mom. Dad. We just want a chance to be happy in love, with you and everyone happy for us, too."
Tío Raúl's eyes shifted between us. A smile tilted his lips. "I am happy for you. What a gift, to have you two building something great together. We couldn't imagine a better partner for each other."
"Mom?" Vi squeezed my hand, her eyes on her mother.
Tía Sonia chuckled. "Happy? Of course I am happy! And I'm also sad that we missed out. If there was any hint of fear of us before, I hope it's gone now that you shared the news with us."
Vi gazed at me, waiting for my response. She had never been as scared as I was.
I took a deep breath. "Next time I worry, I'll have the hard conversation with you all. I won't hide things again."
Tía Sonia put a hand over ours on the table. "Then all is right in the world."