Chapter Twenty-Six
They did not win. But they didn’t get eliminated either.
As far as an afternoon of decorating could go, it wasn’t the worst. Emerson and Clark won, which was predictable.
Clark was an architect and Emerson’s entire job was based on her impeccable artistic skills.
Their only real competition came from Jonathan and Beth.
JT was gracious when she complimented both of her siblings on their incredible, and they really were incredible, houses.
She stared in disbelief at Clark’s pergola.
The man made a goddamned pergola out of gingerbread in the same amount of time she made a dilapidated A-frame doghouse thing.
He’d figured out how to make it look even more amazing by stringing candies like fairy lights.
Beth had managed to make a child-sized playhouse complete with window boxes.
Window boxes with icing flowers! JT had known this event wasn’t going to play to her strengths and would be perfect for her siblings, but this felt worse than she’d imagined.
Their creations looked professional while the parts of their house that she’d helped with looked like an uncoordinated preschooler had done them.
At least when they walked around the room to admire the other houses, she saw that Kyle and Sharon’s was nothing more than fine. Getting her ass handed to her by her professional artist siblings was one thing; being worse than Kyle was another.
Back at their table, she looked down at their house.
Ali had done a great job with the Smarties as shingles and the decorations made of icing.
There was even a walkway leading up to the house made with brown M&M’s.
JT’s contributions were mainly picking out the brown M&M’s from the rest of the pack and trying not to screw up Ali’s work.
“Sorry you got the worst of the Coxes.” She sighed and shook her head.
Ali gave her a confused look. “Are you apologizing because you’re not a professional artist?
Geez, yeah that’s a shame. If only you’d been able to excel at literally anything in your life.
” She feigned reaching for JT’s chest. “Oh, I’m sorry, is that a fucking Olympic gold medal you’re wearing?
Yeah, real shame you’re such an underachiever. ”
JT managed a chuckle. “You know what I mean. My hockey skills mean fuck all in this competition. You would have been better off with anyone else.”
Ali pointed to the team that had been eliminated. Their house had fallen in on itself, they’d spilled candy all over their table and floor, and both seemed to have icing in their hair. “False. Dale and Carol are a hot mess.”
JT followed Ali’s finger and found the couple laughing and feeding each other candy. “Fine, but they look very happy.”
Ali reached into a bowl of Red Hots. “I can shove these in your mouth if that would make you feel better.”
JT laughed, her shoulders shaking. “No! I’m just trying to say I’m sorry I suck at art.”
Ali shrugged. “I’m not.” When JT looked confused, she continued. “You’re going to kick ass at other stuff. It’s nice to be the one who’s good at this.”
JT smiled. Ali was too adorable. She should stop that, or JT was going to have even more of a problem keeping everything between them friends only. She liked seeing Ali so proud of herself. She deserved that feeling. Honestly, everyone should have it at some point.
Except for Kyle. He could go fuck himself.
“Come on, we should congratulate your sister.” Ali dragged JT across the room to where JT’s parents and brother were standing around Emerson’s table.
JT did not want to join this conversation. She didn’t care that Emerson had won. She was happy for her and would happily congratulate her, but she knew what she’d hear when they got there. Sure enough, as soon as they got close enough to hear her mom’s voice, it was everything she’d been dreading.
“The way you used the candy canes to make a striped pattern across the sides of the house to mimic shutters is genius.”
Her dad pointed to the roof. “I like what you did with the gelt, it looks so much like wood shingles. What made you think of that?” He crouched to look closer at every angle of the house.
“Clark, the pergola! How did you make that stay up? This whole thing has such a wonderfully artistic feel. It’s not kitschy at all. ”
Her mom shook her head. “No, I’m seeing a little bit of kitsch, and I love how you play with that sense of nostalgia and tackiness.
It’s such an interesting commentary.” She turned to Jonathan.
“Yours is so wonderful, too. I’m not sure the judges understood that yours had elements of Van Gogh’s style.
But I think it was a bold choice to try to bring his style into your work. ”
JT stiffened when she approached the table. She shrugged her shoulders to try to loosen up but hearing her parents shift into art professor mode always stressed her out.
“You okay?” Ali whispered, her breath tickling JT’s ear.
JT nodded. “Yeah, this is normal for them. I’ll congratulate Emerson and then we can get the hell out of here.” She stepped forward to give Emerson a hug and Clark a high five. “Putting us all to shame, once again. Congrats, Em. Clark, a pergola? Really?”
Clark laughed. “Honestly? I broke a couple of the pieces and had to improvise.”
JT shook her head. “You’re a liar but I appreciate it.”
“Jasmine, did you have fun?”
JT told herself not to start an argument with her mom. She wouldn’t do it. She didn’t want to take away from Emerson’s win. She didn’t want to. But goddammit, why did her mom refuse to call her JT?
“JT and I had a great time!” Ali said with a bright smile. “The late addition to the requirements threw us a little, but I think JT’s A-frame doghouse is super cute.”
“It certainly is…cute,” JT’s mom said, completely failing to keep disdain out of her tone.
“Mom,” JT said, hoping she could stop this train before it got started.
“Oh honey, you shouldn’t feel bad. Art was never your thing.”
JT looked down at Ali and gave her a look that she hoped conveyed how annoyed she was but also that she wanted to leave without getting further into this argument.
Ali wasn’t having it. “Mrs. Cox, I think JT did a great job. She made sure I had everything I needed exactly when I needed it. She’s such a great teammate.” Ali smiled, but it was the kind of smile JT could picture her giving to a difficult parent who had come to her classroom to complain.
“Of course she is! That’s her whole life.” JT’s dad’s voice was even, but somehow the statement felt like an insult.
Ali stepped toward him, but JT put her hand on Ali’s arm. “It’s not worth it,” she said in a quiet voice. Ali could argue with her parents forever and they were never going to value her work the same way they valued her siblings’. She gave up on that a long time ago.
“Jonathan, your house looks amazing. Emerson, congrats on your win. Ali and I are going to take off. I’ll see you back at home.” JT kept her hand on Ali’s forearm and gave it a gentle tug. “Let’s grab our coats.”
Ali walked half a step behind her back to their table. When they got there, JT held Ali’s coat up for her to put on.
“Why do you let them talk about you that way?” Ali’s eyes flicked between JT’s like she was searching for something.
JT shrugged. “It’s not worth it. They’re never going to change.” She looked over Ali’s head to her family, still gathered around the winning house, gesticulating wildly and pointing out their favorite parts of the scene.
She walked toward the car, and Ali fell into step behind her. “JT…”
JT ignored her until they got to the car. When they slid into their seats, JT started the car and turned the heaters up to full blast.
“JT, you are a fierce woman. You kick ass on the ice and off. Why the fuck do you let them treat you like that?”
JT gripped the steering wheel. “Because they aren’t wrong.”
“What?”
“Ali, I am a terrible artist. They’re not wrong about that. It’s not my strength.”
Ali made sputtering noises of protest. “You’re not a bad artist! And even if you were the worst artist on the planet, they still don’t have any right to treat you like that.”
JT shrugged. She didn’t know how to make Ali understand. She’d been the golden girl all through childhood. She was the prom queen and the homecoming queen and everyone in town loved her. JT would bet anything that she was the most beloved teacher at their old school.
On top of all that, she was beautiful in a way that made people stop and look at her without feeling threatened. Ali Porter was the dream girl and JT wasn’t.
Outside her house, she was too big, too strong, too weird, too gay, too everything to be beloved.
At home, she wasn’t enough. The things that her family valued weren’t the things she could do.
She couldn’t paint or draw or make beautiful things.
That wasn’t her. The only place she knew she was good was on the ice.
Give her a sport and she was in her element.
“They don’t understand me. They never have.
It’s not their fault they don’t get me. Their whole world is art.
It’s what they talk about at dinner, it’s the subject of every book they read—they eat, sleep and breathe art and the art world.
I’m the weirdo in the family. I’m the alien.
And I don’t think they know how to know me.
I might as well be speaking a foreign language that uses a different alphabet.
They have no way in.” She sighed. “I gave up trying to make them understand a long time ago.”
Ali leaned against the door, her head resting on the window.
“JT. Will you look at me?” JT turned her head, embarrassed by her outburst. She’d said too much and didn’t want to meet Ali’s eyes.
“It’s not for you to convince your parents you’re worthy.
You don’t have to be enough for your parents.
You just have to be you. It’s their job to love you, no matter who you are and whether you want to discuss the Impressionist movement or not.
If they can’t see how incredible you are, that is their failure, not yours. ”
JT’s eyes burned. Fuck. She never cried.
Okay, that was a lie, she cried regularly at cute commercials and videos of dogs and all kinds of stuff.
But the tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and one slid down her cheek before she could stop it.
Ali’s hand was on her cheek in an instant.
It was warm and soft and JT leaned into it without thinking.
“Sorry,” she breathed.
“Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry they can’t see how incredible you are. I’m so sorry they ever make you feel less than how incredible you are. JT, you are possibly the kindest person I have ever met.” Ali paused to smile. “Have you always been this kind?”
JT gave a shrug.
“You show up at my house and help me put it all together on your vacation week. Who does that?”
“You needed help.”
Ali laughed. “I sure do. But I’ve needed help for a while and you’re the one who has shown up for me. You’re absolutely remarkable.”
Now JT had tears rushing down her cheeks and there was nothing she could do to stop them. “Thank you,” she breathed, swiping a hand across her face. “Anyone would do the same.”
Ali laughed and placed a gentle kiss on JT’s cheek. “I’m going to kill your family for letting you live this long thinking you are anything other than a spectacular miracle. Not everyone would show up and help someone they haven’t seen in years. But you have. You’re one of one, JT Cox.”
For a second, JT thought Ali was going to say more. Instead, she rubbed her thumb across JT’s cheek and then sat back against the door.
JT wiped her face and reached for the gearshift. “Ready to get out of here?”
Ali nodded. “Yeah, I’d like a glass of wine the size of a bathtub.”
JT pulled out of the spot and steered onto the road. “Do you need me to make a stop on the way home?”
Ali shook her head. “My house is a complete mess, but I have plenty to drink.”